You know when you’re antique shopping with your husband and you pick up a dead animal and shove it around the corner of the booth while yelling a really well known meme, but then you’re met with silence and you start to think that maybe your husband just needs to get on the internet more often, and then you poke your head around the corner and turns out your husband is in the bathroom and instead you’re talking to an elderly lady who is very confused that a dead pheasant just threatened her?
I hate it when that happens.
Related: I did not buy the pheasant because I spent all my money on a beaver-skin top hat, and the old man ringing me up was all, “Nice beaver” and I was like “Surely you must be joking” and he was all, “No, I’m totally serious. This is good beaver.” And then I screamed “MY HUMOR IS WASTED IN THIS PLACE” and the cashier looked a bit confused and Victor reminded me that not everyone gets every pop-culture reference ever made, and then I was all, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
In brighter news, I got a beaver-skin hat for under $40 and I feel confident that at least half of you have wasted your life enough to get all of the references in this post.
