Victor: If you came to a four-way stop in the middle of nowhere and you could see for miles and could tell no one else was on the road, would you still come to a full stop at the stop sign?
me: Is this a trick question?
Victor: No. It’s a personality test question. Would you stop at a four-way stop sign if you could see that there were no cops or other cars around?
me: No, because you just described the crossroads and that’s where satan likes to hang out. I’m not gonna stop on Satan’s corner.
Victor: That’s…not even one of the answers.
me: Well, it should be. A four-way stop in the middle of nowhere where you can see forever and there’s no one around? That’s the crossroads, my friend, and that’s where you sell your soul to the devil. You can recognize him by his golden fiddle.
Victor: He lost his golden fiddle, Charlie Daniels.
me: Oh, right. Well then you can recognize him because of his lack of golden fiddle.
Victor: Hmm.
me: So what are the answers to the test?
Victor: Well, if you’d said that you’d ignore the stop signs that would mean you were a free-spirit and make your own rules. And if you said you’d stop no matter what that would mean you’re a perfectionist and respect authority. You, on the other hand, said you wouldn’t stop because Satan might be there.
me: Exactly. And if you paused he’d think that you were considering selling you soul and he’d get up and then you’d drive right by and he’d be all kinds of pissed because he probably just got comfortable. The last thing I want is Satan getting mad at me for wasting his time.
Victor: Got it.
me: So what personality type is that?
Victor: I don’t think it’s been classified yet.
me: Well, it should be. Personality least likely to accidentally piss off satan by following basic traffic rules. Best personality ever.