Every month or so I go to Google Analytics to see which search terms are sending people to this blog.
Here are a few of the most interesting ones:
“I carry booze into work with me…in my stomach”
“Why do men lose head hair but grow ear hair?”
“How to make a booze rifle”
“my cat loves pills”
“Do lesbians like lounge pants?”
“6 year old has roach in ear but doctor said that is his eardrum”
“Does God kill a kitten when you touch yourself?”
“Are heroine addicts telling doctors spiders are leaving eggs inside of them?”
“Why does Katie Couric blink so much?”
“Asshole bitches won’t let me watch my doctor who”
“And that’s why Neil Patrick Harris would be the most successful serial killer ever”
“Why are there so many ostriches?”
“Why is my cat so awesome?”
“Why do Amish people think God hates zippers?”
“Morgan Freeman with a kitten on his head”
“velociraptor in love with cloverfield monster?”
“My cat needs vampire blood”
PS. Apparently Google is removing keyword search data from Analytics. I really want to complain, but it’s possible Google is just trying to save us from ourselves.