I don’t even know where to start with this, so I’m skipping right to: “OMG, YOU GUYS, I HAVE FOUND HEAVEN AND IT’S ONLY SLIGHTLY MORE CORPSEY THAN YOU WOULD EXPECT.”
Long story short, this weekend we went to a tiny town near us to go to resale stores because we’re strange people who like weird, used things. As you might know, I have a particular penchant for badly done, super-old taxidermy that makes me laugh and makes people who have to visit my house very uncomfortable. By late afternoon we came across a large odd store filled with so much weird, half-price shit that it was like coming home. In fact, I fell so in love with one section of the store that the guy in charge told me I could come and bring my laptop, get into bed and write there after they were closed if I needed quiet time. It was so awesome I suspect it’s some sort of set-up to arrest me for arson I haven’t yet achieved.
Regardless, I have to share a pictorial essay about the amazingness you can only come across in Texas.
Every corner had something amazing to behold:
This was actually from the shop next door but it still seems to fit here:
Of course, I couldn’t buy them all, so I settled on my three favorite friends.
Ferris Mewler was impressed. Or hungry.
I also got a…weasel? I don’t have a name yet, but she’s very well dressed because I have insomnia:
And my personal favorite…possibly the derpiest taxidermy animal in the history of ever. I cannot walk past her and not laugh my ass off and that makes her the best investment ever. That’s why I own taxidermied animals instead of a 401k.
There is not an angle that she looks bad in. She is the gift that keeps on giving. She needs a name. Feel free to give suggestions.