I bought my Halloween costume months ago because I fell in love with the sleeves and Victor was like “Who are you supposed to be?” and I didn’t really have a good answer so I just said, “Game of Thrones. I’m going as Game of Thrones.” Then he said, “You can’t be ‘Game of Thrones‘. You can’t be a whole tv show.” But I disagree because technically I don’t know who I’m dressed as. I just liked the outfit. But Victor kept pushing for an answer so I was like, “I’m Game of Thrones. I’m a really important character who George R.R. Martin hasn’t actually invented yet. She’s super bad-ass. I’m cutting-edge, futuristic Game of Thrones.”
I don’t have a picture of me wearing it but it’s this:
Then he stared at me as if I was crazy, and I was like, “She’s a mysterious stranger with a dark secret. She likes pina-coladas and getting caught in the rain. She avoids weddings. I don’t know, Victor. I DON’T KNOW GEORGE R.R. MARTIN’S END GAME.” And then Victor shook his head, but technically I could have said I was any current character and he wouldn’t be able to dispute it because there are so many characters now we’ve pretty much renamed Game of Thrones: “Wait. Who is that? Is that girl new? What’s happening again? Are you sure we’re even watching the right show?”
(And also, I sort of look like Maester Luwin but without the necklace, or the penis.)
Then Victor was like “I can’t believe you spent money on burlap. Long-sleeved burlap.” and I was like, “THE LONGEST SLEEVES. SLEEVES FOR DAYS!” and he said “This is Texas. You’re going to get heatstroke” and I stared at him and whispered, huskily:
“Winter is coming.”
Then he shook his head at my idiocy and I smiled and reminded him that “Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” Or at least that’s what I’d like to say happened, but I can never think of the right quotes to use at the time and I was distracted because Ferris Mewler started chasing after my sleeves because he thought they were cat toys and he was hanging off the end of one while I tried to shake him loose, screaming: “MY DIREWOLF HAS BETRAYED ME” and then Victor just walked away.
Hailey, on the other hand, loved my costume and decided we should match and I explained I was dressed like a non-existent character from a book about bad-ass warriors and dragons and danger, so she picked out a Viking Guard costume because she thought it would be a good fit with mine. (We also created a very complicated back-story for each of our characters but I can’t write it all here because I don’t know how litigious George R.R. Martin is.)
Anyway, Hailey’s costume came in last week and Victor said, “Cool. Are you supposed to be a Norse Warrior?” and she was like, “Nope. I’m Game of Thrones.”
She comes by it naturally.
Happy Halloween, y’all.
