I don’t understand how words work.

I just told Victor that we might need to buy some sandwich stuff before Christmas because no restaurant is going to open and we’re going to starve, and he said we should just try to cook real meal because he assures me that “cooking is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.”  And I was like, “I am already questioning your logic because who shoots fish? And why would you shoot them if they’re already in a barrel?  Obviously someone has already caught them so the whole shooting thing is just violent overkill and extra work.  And at best you’d end up with a barrel full of fish parts and blood and that would make it even harder to see the rest of the fish, who are all hiding because some maniac is shooting at them. And then you have to remove all the shrapnel from the fish before you eat them, and probably you’d shoot a hole through the barrel because that’s how guns work and then you’d end up with bloody fish water pouring all over the carpet. If you want to convince me something is worthwhile you should say that it’s easier than netting fish which are already in a barrel, or simpler than knocking over a fish barrel so you can pick up the fish.  Or just set the barrel over a fire and make fish soup.  Pretty much anything is easier and more efficient than shooting fish in a barrel.”  And then Victor stared at me and walked off and now I don’t understand how words work AND we’re going to starve to death at Christmas.  Plus, now I’m craving fish.  No one wins here.

*******

And now, the weekly wrap-up:

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

• As requested, the 2016 Bloggess Calendar!
• Blessed are the misfits.  (For we are they.)

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

• My instagram  is mostly pictures of animals but it’s a good behind-the-scenes look if you want to watch.
• The best coasters ever.  Blood splatters and brain slices.