I am on a lot of pain medication because I pinched a nerve in my neck last night but it’s Sunday so I will power through the pain and write you this wrap-up BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. Even more than when I’m not high on pain killers. Except I’m too groogy to think straight so instead I’m just going to write you some haikus. People think haikus are super easy because they don’t have to rhyme, but they do have to fall into a 5-7-5 syllable scheme which means I’m doing poetry AND math, so back off asshole. (Not you. The asshole behind you who doesn’t like my haikus. You’re fine. I love you.)
Haiku #1
Victor blows his soup
Sometimes he’s too aggressive
My face is on fire.
Haiku #2
I would like more rum
Please, please, please, please, please. Um, please?
Is that enough words?
Your turn!
(PS. Spellcheck tried to correct “groogy” to “groggy” but if you’ve ever been on pain killers you know that “groogy” is a much more accurate word. It also suggested “groovy” and I get where you’re going with this, spellcheck, but pain killers make me vomit so it’s really not so “groovy “at all. Stop trying to “help”, spellcheck.)
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And now, the weekly wrap-up:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- As requested: VAMPIRE ORPHAN CLUB. (If you’re confused, start here.)
Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:
- I went to the creepiest flea market ever. And I love it.
- It’s been 5 months and Furiously Happy is still on the top 20 NYT list. That is all because of you and I can’t ever thank you enough.
- Do you do adult coloring books to combat anxiety? Because this is some next-level shit: Sherlock and Doctor Who.
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