Last week I saw a bunch of birds building a nest inside the sign of the liquor store, and the birds were so bad at building their nest that things were falling out of it and hitting passersby so I went in and told the cashier, “Hey, there’s a bunch of shit in your P hole,” because there totally was.
And she just kind of stared at me and so I clarified and said, “I mean, not actual shit. Birds. There are a bunch of birds in your P hole.” Then Victor was like, “Jesus, Jenny. Phrasing” and I then realized how that sounded so I was like, “Oh. Sorry! Not YOUR P hole. I’m sure your P hole is fine. I mean the store’s P hole. Shit’s falling out of it and someone’s going to get hurt.” And she still just stared at me and I tried to explain that I was talking about the inside of the P hole on the sign outside but she still didn’t get it so I decided to just leave and that’s why we can’t go back to that liquor store anymore.
PS. Yesterday I saw this on the side of a building:
…and I was like, “Somebody should tell them that they’ve got a bunch of shit in their A holes” but Victor wouldn’t let me go inside to tell them because apparently he hates America or something.