I’ve had a lot of people send me links to this auction where a woman is selling a purse made out of a dead cat (it was already dead if that makes it less awful for you) and half of the people are like, “THIS IS AWESOME AND I TOTALLY THOUGHT OF YOU” and the other half are like, “THIS IS SICK AND HORRIFIC AND I TOTALLY THOUGHT OF YOU” and either way I can’t decide if I should be insulted, or just happy that you all know me so well, so I’m sticking with the latter.
And although I do appreciate the thought, this is one of the few times when I looked at terrible taxidermy and thought, Um…maybe not. First of all because of the shedding, secondly because it’s looking at me reproachfully, third because it looks a bit too much like Hunter S. Thomcat and I’m pretty sure it would give all of the cats nightmares. Besides, I already own an easter basket made of a 100-year-old armadillo, an antique coin purse made of a frog, and hat made out of an ethically taxidermied raccoon face, and I suspect there’s a limit to how many animals you can wear at one time, even if they did all die of natural causes. Also, the starting bid is $1400 which is just ridiculous, especially considering that I could probably make it myself. Not that I would. Unless someone I really hated was allergic to cats. Then maybe I would make one just to keep them away from me. But it seems like it would be easier to just put Hunter S. Thomcat in a Baby Bjorn and carry him around strapped to my chest. Except he has anxiety too so he gets scared when we travel and gets AWFUL, explosive traveler’s diarrhea. Which would probably keep even more people away from me, now that I think about it. So technically I think I just found an inexpensive way to make sure people don’t get in my personal space in airports and I didn’t even have to use hot glue to seal a cat’s corpse to a pocketbook.
Life hacks, y’all.