Every single night I go walking in the dark with Dorothy Barker because it’s cooler at night and I love the dark. Hailey comes with me sometimes but she’s always a bit freaked out because she’s unnerved by the dark so we stay on our block. I always try to teach her that the dark is good because you can hide in it but she thinks I’m nuts. But last night she was at a sleepover and Victor was out of town so Dottie and I went walking and I was listening to Lore (my new favorite podcast about dark, terrible things) while we walked and this episode was about Elizabeth Báthory who murdered a shitload of people and may have bathed in their blood and I was thinking that it was good that Hailey wasn’t there because she would have been freaked out and then I heard this noise and it was like a rattlesnake spitting at me and then there was another and then it sounded like a thousand rattlesnakes had awoken and were spitting and shaking and Dottie was like “WTF IS GOING ON HERE?” and then it got immediately way too cold and I was suddenly completely drenched in what I could only imagine was blood or poison or both.
Turns out it was the sprinkler system turning on in my neighbor’s lawn and I was drenched because I was too afraid to move away and anger the snakes that were actually sprinkler heads.
And that’s pretty much how my whole week went. You?
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And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:
- This week we tried to buy a ghost town. It did not go well.
- Outtakes from a photoshoot.
- Tiny fairy doors. I love this.
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Melt: massage for couples. Basically it’s an instructional massage video that teaches how to give bad-ass massages with a simple, step-by-step video guide. It costs less than one professional massage and you have it forever with unlimited access. Plus, if you’ve been putting off buying a Valentine’s Gift and now you’re panicking you can get this right now and not have to run to the grocery store for a bunch of shit no one wants. And it’s on sale until Valentine’s Day, so bonus! Check it out here.