So yesterday I was sort of in hiding because I either had the flu or I was depressed and I couldn’t tell which and I was hoping for the flu because that usually leaves quicker but then I woke up feeling shitty again this morning and I realized my head was broken so I called my friend and I was like, “I’m broken. Will you come to my house and watch Drunk History with me so it’s almost like I’m leaving the house but not really?” and she was like, “Hells yeah. We’re all broken. That shit’s making the rounds, my friend” but then when she came in I sort of saw my house for the first time with new eyes and I was like, “Hey. So. I just realized my Christmas tree is still up. So, that’s happening” and because she’s nonjudgmental she was like, “You should keep that shit up all year. It’s a lovely night-light” and I was like, “Maybe it’s a Valentine’s Day Tree. And my valentine is Santa Claus. Because he’s pretty much the only one on the tree the cats haven’t knocked down.” And then we watched TV and laughed and the house animals sat in our laps and I felt human again. So here is to friends who are better than prozac. Also, she makes bad-ass bags. And she was in that chapter of my book about how I lost those dead cat koozies in my house. You know her.
PS. I’m not drunk. I’m just not correcting my run-on sentences.
PPS. I just heard that the paperback copy of Furiously Happy is #4 on the Indie Bestseller List. Y’ALL. That is nuts. People who bought Furiously Happy + people who support independent bookstores = the Venn diagram of people I want to lick on the face.
PPPS. Speaking of which, I just got 300 pounds of posters that I carried into my house and signed for Independent Bookstore Day and they are LUSCIOUS. Like, thick, heavy paper that you’d print diplomas on. If you get one and you have pet allergies you should maybe shake it out a bit because I had help.
PPPPS. If you’re struggling right now too just put on the tv and pretend I’m there with you on the couch. Because I am. We all are.
PPPPPS. Spellcheck just told me that “nonjudgmental” is not a word and it was like “Did you mean to say ‘JUDGEMENTAL’? and no, I didn’t because that’s the opposite of what mean and, by the way, THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW YOU SPELL ‘JUDGMENTAL’, SPELLCHECK. THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU.
PPPPPPS. It also says “koozies” isn’t a real world. I trust nothing.