Stuff and junk

So yesterday I was sort of in hiding because I either had the flu or I was depressed and I couldn’t tell which and I was hoping for the flu because that usually leaves quicker but then I woke up feeling shitty again this morning and I realized my head was broken so I called my friend and I was like, “I’m broken.  Will you come to my house and watch Drunk History with me so it’s almost like I’m leaving the house but not really?” and she was like, “Hells yeah.  We’re all broken. That shit’s making the rounds, my friend” but then when she came in I sort of saw my house for the first time with new eyes and I was like, “Hey.  So.  I just realized my Christmas tree is still up.  So, that’s happening” and because she’s nonjudgmental she was like, “You should keep that shit up all year.  It’s a lovely night-light” and I was like, “Maybe it’s a Valentine’s Day Tree.  And my valentine is Santa Claus.  Because he’s pretty much the only one on the tree the cats haven’t knocked down.”  And then we watched TV and laughed and the house animals sat in our laps and I felt human again.  So here is to friends who are better than prozac.  Also, she makes bad-ass bags.  And she was in that chapter of my book about how I lost those dead cat koozies in my house.  You know her.

PS.  I’m not drunk.  I’m just not correcting my run-on sentences.

PPS.  I just heard that the paperback copy of Furiously Happy is #4 on the Indie Bestseller List.  Y’ALL.  That is nuts.  People who bought Furiously Happy + people who support independent bookstores = the Venn diagram of people I want to lick on the face.

PPPS.  Speaking of which, I just got 300 pounds of posters that I carried into my house and signed for Independent Bookstore Day and they are LUSCIOUS.  Like, thick, heavy paper that you’d print diplomas on.  If you get one and you have pet allergies you should maybe shake it out a bit because I had help.

thank-you

PPPPS.  If you’re struggling right now too just put on the tv and pretend I’m there with you on the couch.  Because I am.  We all are.

PPPPPS.  Spellcheck just told me that “nonjudgmental” is not a word and it was like “Did you mean to say ‘JUDGEMENTAL’? and no, I didn’t because that’s the opposite of what mean and, by the way, THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW YOU SPELL ‘JUDGMENTAL’, SPELLCHECK.  THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU.

screen-shot-2017-02-14-at-4-20-47-pm
it’s in the damn dictionary, spellcheck.  Stop judging me.
Is there supposed to be an extra "e" in there? I don't even know anymore.
Is there supposed to be an extra “e” in there? I don’t even know how to spell anymore.

PPPPPPS.  It also says “koozies” isn’t a real world.  I trust nothing.

175 thoughts on “Stuff and junk

Read comments below or add one.

  1. You and I will be watching comedy shows on Netflix. Do you like salt on your popcorn?

    (Do you have lime salt? Because that’s my favorite. ~ Jenny)

  2. I’ll pretend you’re here, but I won’t talk to you out loud. Because I got caught doing that shit once by my mom and now she knows I’m crazy. I’m sure she always suspected, but now she has proof.

  3. You can’t be nonjudgemental without mental. It seemed funnier when I said it out loud. To myself. Alone in my office. Whatevs…

  4. I was one of the people supporting you! I just bought Furiously Happy in paperback, on Amazon last week. As part of Booksgiving, for a friend’s daughter who I think will get a lot out of it. She’s having a tough teenager experience.

  5. True story. The first time my mom and I went to California on vacation, we were trying to get a souvenir koozie to take back to my brother (shut up, we’re Midwestern, this is a highlight for us) and NO ONE KNEW WHAT KOOZIES WERE. Just as we were wondering if we’d stepped into some sort of Twilight Zone, we discovered that in California, they’re just called can holders. How boring is that? Obviously you’ve got a Californian spell checker, Jenny. It just doesn’t know any better.

  6. I feel this way today also. I woke up after dreaming of my mother again (she died unexpectedly 21/2 years ago). It’s been a rough day. I’m watching Terminator 3 for the millionth time in a row and eating hipster popcorn.

  7. Re: Valentine’s Day Tree. I’ve noticed that around where I live (north Chicago ‘burbs), they put up not-obvoiusly-Christmas lights before Christmas and just leave them up all winter. I think it’s nice! Makes January and February feel less awful. So I think you’re on to something and we should all have Valentine’s Day trees. And St. Patrick’s Day trees. And Mardi Gras trees. And Easter trees. Hell – we should even have Flag Day trees and 4th of July trees.

  8. I just checked and nonjudgmental is totally a word. I misspelled it with an extra e, and it auto-corrected it! So … you’re good. Besides, if you use a word long enough, it becomes a real word anyway… like a fairy or something…. or irregardless.

  9. (I’ve never heard of lime salt before but that sounds bloody amazing. I don’t know if they sell it anywhere in North Dakota but I will buy it on the internet if I have to. I’m sure I can find it on Amazon. They sell everything.)

  10. My dad’s in the hospital five hours away, the doctors don’t know WTH is going on, and I’ve been sick for two weeks and can’t get there (not only because driving for five hours takes more energy than I have but also because both my parents have compromised immune systems, so NO WAY can I take this bug to their house). So, yeah, come on over. We can watch Muppets or something.

  11. I’ve always understood that both are perfectly acceptable? At least, that’s what I learned in the 5th grade.* I’ve always used the version with the E because Scrabble Points.

    Sidenote: My 5th grade teacher left quite an impression, as she was 934 years old and didn’t GAF about anything or anyone. Back then, she was a scary, scary bish. Now–well, now I kinda want to be her when I grow up. Up until maybe 85ish, then eff that–I’m out.

  12. Can any of us Canadian peeps order a poster? I think having a Jenny reminder on my wall would be awfully helpful in those moments I don’t think I can handle another moment of human interaction.

    (It’s just in the U.S. but I’ve heard that the day after stores that have extras put them online so people who couldn’t get to a store can buy one. ~ Jenny)

  13. My local independent bookstore is a lovely place but it is not getting any of your posters which is truly heartbreaking.

  14. I once had a friend who left her Christmas tree up for a real long time and redecorated it for Valentine’s Day and Easter. I think someone talked her out of it before Halloween. Maybe she should have just taken all the decorations off for Arbor Day.

  15. I’m totally one of those people who can’t tell the difference between my depression and the flu or flu-like bugs and it causes me to fight with my shrink sometimes cuz I always want it to be the more temporary flu bug than depression and last time it took 4 months for me to admit it was my head that was broken but even then I was convinced there was a physical aspect until my insurance company stopped covering my meds for a week and I totally had a breakdown and was like, “ok, shrink, you win, it was depression”… but I do have some adrenal issues too, but that didn’t cause the depression, it was caused by it most likely and made it worse. Depression sucks ass.

  16. Can we please watch Once Upon A Time? It’s awesome, you would love it. Team Regina! I love you Jenny

    (Hailey and I binge watch a season at a time and then take a break. I think we’re two seasons behind now. Hook and Regina and Gold are my faves. ~ Jenny)

  17. I counted the “P”s in the series of “PS”s to make sure you didn’t skip any. Because I’m me. Nicely done. 😉

  18. So I don’t have Netflix or even cable, just over the air free tv which can suck big time especially with all the politics these days so I’m watching Jacques Pepin’s Heart and Soul on DVD because I love him and he’s nonjudgmental about what I cook since he says recipes are moments in time and change every time you make them. So that soufflé I’m making for Valentines dinner? It turned into scrambled eggs. With Valentines vodka. And my iPad’s spellcheck likes “nonjudgmental” just fine.

  19. I really want a poster! I’m hoping there’s an indy bookstore participating in my town cause the website says the map won’t be available until March 1.

  20. Well I’m sorta glad it’s not just me. My life sucks right now. Got turned down for a job at one of the dream job places(and they promised I’d hear in Dec btw) my car died, the tv remote is broken–okay that’s my fault–I have stress insomnia and isn’t that fun? Meanwhile everyone is telling me to be happy and stay strong and do stuff with friends. Really, with no car, a bank account on life support?
    I feel trapped in a place I’ve been trying to leave since I was a teenager. It’s a bad week.

  21. Run on sentences are the best kind, because they are most like the real you and they are the most like everyone else too, and I am watching the Westminster Dog Show because it is Valentine’s Day and my dog is the love of my life even though he was a bit taken with the Boston Terrier last night and I reminded him that I am so much better with the can opener.

  22. I’m dog sitting my parents’ beasts while they’re signing papers on land they’re buying. Halfway across the country from me. sighs. Here’s to Netflix and popcorn with REAL butter and salt and also a light drizzle of honey. Because that’s good stuff right there, it is. (My own dog is with me and looks at me like “what is WRONG with these two ill-mannered beasts?” It’s that they never hear the word NO from my parents is what!)

  23. My 75 year old father (and rock star dad) has got an aneurysm in his chest right below his heart. I’ve been trying to not freak out about it for a few weeks now and today it is getting to me. He is supposed to have surgery to fix it soon but until then I keep picturing him with a ticking bomb in his chest and it terrifies me. So I’m feeling extra broken today. I’ll be pretending you’re watching Parks and Rec on Netflix tonight with me and helping distract me from all the scary life stuff.

  24. I put twinkle lights up around the living room at Christmas. I took all the other decorations down but I really, really didn’t want to take the lights down. They look too good. So I didn’t and I still put them on every day. So you still having the tree up is AWESOME.

    Also Liana (#20) is so right, Once Upon a Time is fantastic. Lame cool fistbump, Liana! 😀

  25. Ohh, Jenny, is there any way I can buy a poster?! You’re not coming to Chicago, and I’m going through a REALLY bad time. My dad had mild dementia, but he had to have a total knee replacement 10 days ago, and now he has sever dementia. My mom and I are sick over this and don’t know what to do. He’s only 74. And I’ve been sick as hell and can’t see him. I LOVE the poster, and with an art background, I would love to color it!! Your new book will be on its way to me soon. Please JENNY! Can I buy a poster? Love you! Going to check out Drunk History now. ❤

  26. Your friend is one in a million, you are a beast carrying 300 pounds of posters and spellcheck is ignorant. I’m all about run-on sentences especially when I talk since I hardly ever take a breath.

  27. I just told someone to read Furiously Happy. I never did figureout how to attach my sanity book lust to the blog, so no book for me. Hope you have a great day, and make that tree St. Patrick’s Day next.

  28. So jealous you get to be at home with a furry cat on your lap. I’m stuck at work being grumpy because my car wouldn’t start this morning (the batter has just HAD IT with this long, stupid winter) and when I called my normally husband to come rescue me (which I hate doing because I hate having to be rescued) he said, “well, can’t you just drive my [piece of crap] car with the broken headlight and mashed in front?” and I said, “Forget it, I’ll figure it out” and hung up on him, then cried some furious tears because I HATE BEING RESCUED and he came home and let me drive his NOT piece of crap car, but I was still mad at him because I HATE BEING RESCUED and he made me feel bad for asking. So now I’m grumpy on Valentine’s day.

    Sitting at home on the couch in my ugly/comfy pajamas and eating chocolate and watching Netflix sounds wonderful. There should be a cat there too. And maybe a nap of some sort.

  29. Signing stacks of posters is one of those things in life that most people just never have. Like the need to write an award acceptance speech for the Oscars. Or a building with their name on it.

    So yay, you! Proud of your famousness! Even though spellcheck thinks famousness isn’t a real word either. Asshole.

  30. “Koozies” is totally a word. Even my phone knew “koozies.” This is also a phone that from day one autocorrected “Meijer” to “Meijers” which means it is also from West Michigan so I trust its autocorrect a fair amount even though it just tried to put an apostrophe into this sentence’s non-possessive “its.” Keep passing the open windows.

  31. Why isn’t nonjudgemental a word…hey it didn’t even light up or underline or whatever other shit it usually does, so evidently it is a word…we can make up our own words if we want to…we are women, we can do anything…

  32. I want to come down to see you so bad I teared up when you posted you were coming to NYC. I’ve never been to NYC because I’m terrified of cities. Hopefully I’ll muster up the courage but if not I’m going to hug you in my brain!!!! Huggz

  33. “Judgment” is supposed to be without an “e” but then I moved to France and it’s “jugement” in French and I got all screwed up and started adding the “e” back in the States and spellcheck would yell at me. Then after college apparently it was okay to use either spelling, so I like to pretend the entire country got together and decided to accommodate my brain, which is nice for a change.

    I’ve been very emotional the past few days, but it was just hormones and I’m feeling better and would be happy to come over and sit on anyone’s couch that needs a little company. I’ll bring snacks.

  34. Did you know that right this minute you are sitting with me on my couch watching Good Eats with me and that Alton Brown is making all things chocolate?

    I love you. And how do I get one of those lovely signed posters?

  35. If our tree hadn’t been half-dead when we bought it on December 23rd it would probably still be up.

    There are so few bookstores anymore– at least around here– that today I had to settle for supporting my local Barnes & Noble. And by supporting, I mean spending $37 on a book they sell for $21 on their own website. I hope they appreciate that.

    I hope your head gets better soon.

  36. Holy shit I thought there was a second e in judgment my entire life. Although, now I’ve looked it up, again, because I’m having a totally confused moment, like maybe I don’t understand letters, and it turns out both judgement and judgment are words–turns out your spell check is British, at least about the extra ‘e’.

  37. One week ago, I was released from the hospital after having my lower left lung removed. At home, I was hit with such a wave of sadness, wrongness, that I never felt before. Ever. Turns out, a form of depression can hit after a surgery like that. No one told me this. I have read you for years, and admire you for many things. But truth be told , after a small taste of what you deal with, I am now in awe of you, and, anyone who lives with depression. I instinctivly did what you just did, and yeah, it works. And now back to the stalking shadows.

  38. Please don’t lick me in the face. Though I only bought a digital copy so technically you are only allowed to lick the photo of my face.
    Which I won’t give you because I don’t like having photos taken.
    You can lick chocolate ice-cream instead. Just get yourself ice-cream and if someone asks you why are you eating ice-cream during [insert time here] you can say “Pedes told me I should”.
    I’m such an enabler.

  39. Those bags look awesome….you have a rockin cool friend. I have an obsession with bags. I’d also love to sit and watch TV with you. But I’m running out of things to binge watch on Netflix. Have any suggestions?

    (Did you watch The OA? Stranger Things? Last night I watched a weird Asian horror film that was confusing but good. The Wailing. ~ Jenny)

  40. I don’t have time to sit and watch TV tonight, I have to go get my taxes done. Can I pretend that you are holding my hand through that?

    (Totally. ~ Jenny)

  41. My Festivus pole has been up for fourteen months. So Happy Festivus/Valentine’s Day/Single Persons Awareness Day (yes, that is a thing and it’s today)…All of you single people get your proud bad-ass selves out there and book a table for one!

  42. I have a friend like that, but I really don’t like to people, even with people I like. I like to confine my people-ing to the internet. Which is probably a bad idea because HAVE YOU SEEN HOW CRACKERS PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN?
    Love you, thank you for being people.

  43. Oh, and I have a Netflix recommendation in the form of definitely weird movie. “I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the Walls”

  44. I wish you were here on my couch. I have a feeling you would make me a drink, listen to me, and actually understand how horrifying and devastating my life is right now.

  45. Totally not on topic, but I just received a booksgiving package. It made me cry. Thank you so much for creating this movement. I wish I could thank the person who sent it to me too. Thanks Chasette Gilmer.

  46. I need a good Netflix binge. I have to write a legal brief (I’m a paralegal) so that sucks. BUT, my library just got the e-book of Unmentionable (which you recommended forever ago, but I never forgot). So, I’m excited about that. Happy Valentines day! Love to everyone.

  47. so, yeah. there is no “e” in nonjudgmental – only in England, so you WERE right. I admire you so for you willingness to talk even when you’re broken. But, as you said, we’re ALL broken in some form or fashion! LEAVE THE TREE UP!!!

  48. I’m afraid to sit down and watch anything as I have a tendency to fall asleep because of my brain injury. I probably need the sleep but I need to be awake an aware for when my husband needs me. Today’s a bad day for him and so was last night. I’m currently listening to a playaway that has the book “A Man Called Ove” on it. I’m not so certain that was a good idea either. Oh well, once started I will finish it. Tomorrow morning is speech therapy for my brain injury and testing for my hubby. {hugs}

  49. I so needed this today. I’m finding out what Valentine’s Day is like when you have serious marital problems (as in, we are probably going to at least separate, probably divorce) and the whole thing is just turning me inside out because we have two small children, and neither of us wants to put them through that. I grew up with divorce – my parents divorced when I was 6, and my dad remarried twice before he died (suddenly, when I was 16. I only mention it because when I leave it out, sometimes I forget and then people are like, “So is he still with his third wife?” And I’m like, oh, no; he’s dead and everyone gets confused.) At any rate being a child of divorce sucked and I swore that if I ever got married and had kids that I would never divorce. Well, reality check- sometimes things just breakdown between a couple and it is healthier to divorce. Anyway, right now things are just really tense, and uncomfortable, and I ordered this “date box” subscription with our first date box date set for tonight. At the time it felt like a good thing to try. Now it feels horribly awkward, and even worse because I think he is hoping it will be fun and bring us together (like I thought when I ordered it) but I am just dreading it. Ugh.

    Btw, have you ever heard of a show called “The United States of Tara”? About a mom and wife who has Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities.) AWESOME show. Well, in the show, her mother-in-law has what they all refer to as “The Christmas House.” She has at least 10 fake Christmas trees of all different colors, Christmas decorations are always up, she always wears Christmas sweaters, she only listens to Christmas music. She is self-admittedly “crazy”, but she is played by the actress who played the mom in Six Feet Under and she does an amazing job btw- anyway she is really not horribly crazy, just really sad about some life stuff and she decorates the house like Christmas because “it’s the happiest time of year.” The thing is that even though I’m not a Christmas person, I was like, really drawn to that house! It DID look happy! So maybe there is something to leaving up your tree.
    And if you’re going to take the suggestions to decorate it for all the holidays, which I think you should totally do, then since my birthday is St. Patrick’s Day, you should decorate it like a big birthday cake and hang a banner on it that says “HAPPY. BIRTHDAY ELLYN”. That would be totally random to everyone you know, and like Beyoncé, full of whimsy.

  50. You and I are sitting on my couch watching old B&W movies right now. I have chili-lime salt for our popcorn too. Unfortunately, the dog is trying to gas us into non-existence. Mixed bag.

  51. I may be in that center venn diagram area, but please don’t lick me on the face. I like you and all, but I am uncomfortable with physical contact

  52. Tree’s up. Stockings’ up. Mizzou Santas up. Photos from Christmas Past up. Christmas books still out on display. CDs still in the changer. Tis the season, y’all. Let us be as Scrooge and keep Christmas well.

  53. Have you watched Stranger Things?? I finally got Netflix and binge-watched season one over the weekend and I’m totally obsessed!

  54. Oh, and Aged Mum had her little tabletop Xmas tree up for months because she liked looking at it. I sad she should keep it up all year, call it a holiday tree and put up appropriate seasonal decorations. Why not, if it makes you happy.

  55. Hulu has the Golden Girls now. I made a lumpy chocolate cake. There is also a shit ton of wine and Coke Zero, and your choice of 3 cats to have in your lap.

  56. I am watching New Girl an Netflix, and painting thumb tacks with nail polish to make dragon eggs. Pinterest did not say to have patience and so I didn’t wait long enough for the polish to dry. So, there are tacks glued to my fingers and one stuck in my arm hair. Also, CVS never called with the doctor’s ok to fill my ritalin prescription (new insurance, gotta double check everyone because they secretly know in their hearts I am a speed addict), so I have been my true self for a whole week. I have spent $200 on Amazon buying tacks, and nail polish, and canvas boards, and adjustable buttonhole elastic, and gold leaf, so if we get bored with the eggs shit, there are about seven other projects that I have started and left lying around the house we can work on. One is a crochet thing that kinda bores me, and there are at least three pairs of pants I would like to see made adjustable. Shit, I should call CVS. Congrats on your book. It is so fantastic.

  57. My Gpa has his Christmas tree up year round. His caregiver just redecorates it for different seasons. Turkey tree, Valentines tree, Spring/Easter tree etc… It works.

  58. Oh, delicious Jenny, you are absolutely the very best. And though I haven’t been very broken for a few months (miraculous, eh?), I absolutely understand everything you mean here. I’m tossing a smooch to you.

  59. Corsec- ohhhhhhh, that’s what a Koozie is……Californian here.

    Ell- been there. Hugggs. I’d rather be alone than in a bad relationship. And mine was bad, raised the kids by myself, and they’re okay. As long as they feel loved and are assured it’s not their fault, they will be okay, grow up, and maybe learn some things about relationships, commitments, and knowing when something isn’t healthy for anyone. You will get through this, it’ll just suck for awhile.

  60. First where can I find which book stores will have the posters I must get one I’m in love. Second have you seen the Santa Clarita diet and Crazyhead on Netflix. There both super amazing and I think you’d love both.

  61. Planning on marrying Santa Claus when I grow up. Confuses .kids and then they tell parents. I enjoy listening to aftermath. I have failed miserably at being an adult so still trying to grow up. Kind of like it this way. Felt lousy the other day too. Kept sliding downhill and gave up trying to climb out of it. Good to know I wasn’t alone in that.

  62. We still have our Christmas tree up, and it doesn’t seem like it’s coming down anytime soon. I sleep on the couch, so it’s my night light. I would love to curl up on the couch with you and watch whatever the heck you wanted to watch… Never seen Drunk History but it sounds interesting! Also, I want a poster. Very much. Are those being given away or sold? ‘Cause I’m kinda saving all my money right now to be able to come see you on your book tour.

  63. Dorothy loves you too, gaaahjuss. I couldnt cope today so I watched multiple “Cosmos” episodes. Did you know Tardigrades (water bears) can survive ANYTHING? Look them up. My new goal is to be a Waterbear. I always feel better after reading your blog. Big hugs. 💘

  64. I feel like I haven’t done enough venn diagrams since I was in elementary school. They’re an infinitely fun way to organize things. To do list for tomorrow: venn diagram…something!

  65. The moment you mentioned the posters, I started hounding, er, encouraging the local indie book store that I frequent to bring some in. I must be convincing (or annoying or they just want me to keep coming back to guide their ghost tours and work the holiday season so they’re trying to keep on my good side) because the book buyer promised to set aside a copy for me if they get them. Woot!

  66. i just burst into tears … actually crying, that you still havent taken down your xmas tree, either! Moi Assui! and the thing is….right now i give zero f#%ks! I have severe Rheumatoid disease which renders my hands pretty useless at times…but the real reason is that i fell on my ass and smashed my i-pad which held my entire Human Rights case notes about being wrongfully dismissed, due to disability…on…wait for it…Dec 3 The UN Day for Disabled Persons!! (I am a social worker in Canada and was refused minor legal accommodation in my job of 13 years…cant make this shit up…there is more but i am trying to keep laughing here),,,,,,,SO…ipad trashed and contents unrecoverable…so i have been in my blanket fort…and hitting the carbs like its my new full time job. Anyway, Jenny….the reason I cried…till i laughed is….when you posted about Booksgiving I really really really needed to post a wish for a book to distract myself…..but then…rules…point and click…blah blah…I said F THIS.. If i cant even take my F-ing xmas tree down…how do i have the brain power to figure this amazon wishlist out!! I am so grateful for you and I send you cartoon hearts and hugs.
    (and i just impressed myself because i have never commented on anything here before…yay me)

  67. 1- The “Merry Christmas” doormat is still out at my house… Can’t even pretend it’s about any other holiday
    2- I’m not going to watch TV, but I am going to nap. Maybe I’ll wait until I wake up to imagine you’re here?
    3- My (then 10yo) daughter went as Ferris Mewler (compete with Rory on her back) for book week dress ups last year. She carried a copy of “Let’s Pretend…” wrapped in a printed out cover of “Furiously Happy” because we bought that one as an ebook 🙂

  68. PS: do you know if any indie bookshops in Australia are getting your posters? It would be worth buying all your books (again) just to get a copy… Although that would leave me with four colouring books…

  69. Spell check is like that unreliable friend who makes questionable life choices themselves and may or may not actually be there for you when you need them. It’s okay to consider its suggestions, but don’t necessarily rely on it to give good advice.

    Also, I was about to feel smug that I actually took my tree down before the end of January, but then I remembered that was just because I got curious about whether it would fit through the second-floor window it was standing next to. (It did, but now it’s been in the side yard for a month and has dog pee all over it, so I’ll probably never move it. It’s part of the yard now, sorry neighbors.)

  70. My tree stays up year round-we just remove the ornaments…which I totally haven’t gotten to yet, but tomorrow’s the day

  71. I was feeling like I either had the flu or was depressed for days until I started watching the office on Netflix and it cheered me up a lot more than I expected. So yeah that answers the question. Valentine’s tree heck yes! 😀

  72. I looked up nonjudgmental in Bill Bryson’s Dictionary of Troublesome Words, which is the most entertaining dictionary-type book on the planet, and it’s not in there. But non sequitur is in there, which means two or more statements that are jarringly unrelated, and he gives this an example: He was born in Liverpool and his shoes were brown.

    So, in honor of non sequiturs: You woke up feeling broken and your Christmas Tree is a giant night light. That makes perfect sense to me.

    Oh, and the spellcheck on my Mac thinks nonjudgmental is a perfectly legitimate word, approved by the geniuses at Apple.

  73. I’m so glad we’re valentine’s tree buddies! Sometimes Woogie plays with the ornaments and there’s a joyful jingle.

  74. I’m broken. I’m at work and mostly keeping it together, but I’m sitting here with my head down to try to hide the fact that I’ve got tears rolling down my cheeks. No rain. Just another jacked-up train wreck WI would rather be home with a cat on her lap. Hugs, Jenny. You write what’s in my brain. Thank you.

  75. Gah. Typos at due to my trying to type in my phone. So sorry.

    *No REASON. Not rain.
    *train wreck WHO.. L. Not WI. Even though I grew up in Oshkosh.

  76. Bought it, in hardcover, from the kickass indie Book Shop Santa Cruz. You may lick my face now…. Do I get extra credit for sharing it with both my teenage sons who, like mama, have those hide-from-the-world-with-Netflix days?

    Thank you, Jenny, for reminding us that the dark days always pass and for shining a humorous light when we forget. You’re awesome.

  77. Stop it! Stop telling me about bookstore day! They don’t have a list, so it just taunts me with my ADD telling me I will forget until the next time you mention it and then I’ll probably be reading the archives a month after the fact and then I will have missed it!! I looked for a list of bookstores, but they won’t release one till March. Do you know how far away that is for ADD minds?

  78. Also I’m sorry I yelled. I’m having a stressful day and I like bookstores and the site just mocks me…

  79. I love you but I am sooo jealous that you can stay home on your depressed days. Please don’t get me wrong, I have been a follower for years. I work 6 days a week for 10 hrs a day and have to battle it when all I really want to do is stay home. Sorry to frump on you but it does seem the safest place to do so.

  80. My Christmas trees are still up. Is this a bad thing? Because one year they were up til Father’s Day.

  81. I am so having a is this the flu or depression day. I’m still not sure. It could be a mild plague stemming from lack of sunlight and too much interaction with humans who seem to know how to operate life machinery. Dammit. I’m thinking it’s not the flu after all. Fluish. I wonder if that’s a word. Oxford says no. Flutist. Bluish. But no fluish. What do they know. They don’t own words. Anyway, thank you. You help. A lot.

  82. This is so my life right now! I always struggle this time of year (Jan. through March) I only leave the house or shower when there is absolutely no other choice. I just read through the comment section hoping to find my fellow tree keepers and make myself feel better. April is our latest date of take down, February is the earliest. Just have to see how this year goes.

  83. How would one go about convincing a Viking that one needs some alone time? You may not know this about Vikings, but they don’t really respect doors much. Just ask the monks on Lindesfarne. And they also don’t understand the concept of “I would love you lots more if you stood across the street for a week”. And even if he understood the concept and actually stood across the street for a week, he’d be bellowing for clean underwear and socks. Sigh.

  84. And here I thought I was bananas because I just put my Christmas tree up and took lights down. Upon reading this I roared with laughter becauser a) they do make awesome night lights and b) it’s kinda cool looking to have a tree inside your house. I love trees. Personally, it’s cool as fuck to have a tree that plus these little memories decorating it so when one passes by you’re like “awww i remember this…”

  85. Struggling big time over here…think I’m going to re-read Furiously Happy…it always makes me smile.

  86. I am judging the hell out of your spellcheck and I think “ignore always” is like spellcheck asking you to be passive-aggressive towards it, which is a good attitude for a spellcheck. Also, spellcheck, you’re a bit of passive-aggressive doormat yourself. Get help.

  87. Oh my gosh that poster is so beautiful. I want one! Unfortunately I live in Germany 🙁 Any chances for an online shop?

  88. It must be going around because I feel broken too. & Yet I have to trudge through & run several certain to contentious meetings. I may put my Valentine (Christmas) tree back up if I could get the energy.

  89. Movie days for days….I can’t get out of my funk. Luckily I’m moving in with a friend this weekend so hopefully her and I can keep each other out of these funks…or at least make them a bit easier.

  90. I’ve had my christmas tree up for the past 6 years. It’s not really a christmas tree, I call it my Hello Kitty festive tree. Feeling broken sucks; I’ve totally been there, but now I’m trying my best to help people out of their depressive funk. I know I can’t do anything for the clinically depressed, but even if I can get a giggle out of them for a split second it makes me feel good. I started a laugh your way through life challenge, and so far it’s helping some people. As for being in a funk….just remember, we’re all in a funk and 9 out of 10 times, your better off than someone else. I usually get out of my funk thinking, it could be worse…I could be so-in-so. HUGS

  91. my christmas tree is still up. fully decorated. for about six years, i think. i’ve lost count.
    i love that damn tree. makes me smile every time i look at it. why would i take it down? helps that the lights are plugged into an outlet that is controlled by the light switch at the front door. when i walk in and flick the switch, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…soft gentle light. fuck the haters, i love my tree.

  92. Please don’t lick me in the face because someone did that once, and it was terrible. I can still feel it. GAH How about a fist bump? I could do a fist bump.

    I am in that place, too. Politics has shifted me back here, and I have to shake it off. Have to.

    Here’s to friends who love us not just despite our brokenness, but BECAUSE of our brokenness. When we are broken together, we are stronger together.

  93. At this juncture it’s not a Christmas tree, it’s an art installation. Me, I just paid taxes. Oy. And I don’t have cable or internet at home so I’m sticking with PBS. Which sounds sad but Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch have been getting their Shakespeare on all month. Helloooo, Prince Hal…GOODBYE, Richard the 3rd!

  94. Yeah, when I was growing up, my mother (who is a Christmas fanatic) once kept our Christmas tree up until May-June. For Easter we hung eggs on it, but by that time it was basically just a big stick. Yeah, did I mention it was formerly a live tree?
    I remember helping to saw it into tiny pieces and putting it in many garbage bags to be disposed of in the dark of night so our neighbors wouldn’t know that she had been tempting fate with a crispy kindling farm for 6 months.
    You never know who lives next door to you in an apartment building…

  95. I want one of your books so badly. And a poster but I can’t get them because it is too much for international packaging.
    On the plus side, this is the first time in over a month I’ve written anything and it was because of you and your blog and all the things. So there’s that.

  96. My kitten has been missing for almost two weeks and getting up for work feels damn near impossible. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels non human. OJ vs the People is on our queue tonight. You in?

  97. I am sitting in the living room staring at my Christmas tree. You are not alone. When people have commented I say I’m planning to leave it up till St Patrick’s day because it’s green. 🙂

  98. Wow spell check is a real asshole these days, I’m sorry. I’d send you a hug but I don’t want to infir that much touching cause ew touching a stranger is totally creepy. How about a virtual fist bump? I can do that.

  99. My philosophy is that if you say or write a word, it makes sense, and everyone who hears or reads it knows what you mean…It’s a word.

  100. Some of us call those little twinkle lights “fairy lights” … and some of us like them in the summer too. Look at Google’s image results for “summer fairy lights” and smile along with me. Next house!

  101. Can I pretend I’m there? Because I’m in Ontario, Canada, and we just got over a snow storm 2 days ago, and we are getting another 8 inches today. Not that 8 inches is a bad thing. And glad to hear there is someone else who leaves there tree up. My Gran actually has Christmas lights strung up in her kitchen as a night light (running under the cupboards), its my favorite.

  102. Spellcheck should check out “Judgey McJudgerton” because there would it would say, “That’s you, Spellcheck, you dumb cluck.” (Sorry for the dated insult verbiage, I’m reading a lot of P.G. Wodehouse right now. Highly recommended BTW.) Also, Drunk History rules!

  103. I needed this post! Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. Winter sucks. Waiting for spring to make me feel human again. Your use of the phrase ‘house animals’ makes me think that there are yard animals that I have not seen. Are you keeping a plethora of yard animals? What kind are they are what are their names? Inquiring minds want to know. 😉

  104. Drunk History is the best distraction. You know what else is great for helping someone forget trauma for a little bit? Chris Hardwick’s Celebrity Bowling. I can only find episodes online but spring for a Google Chromecast and then everyone can enjoy watching them.

  105. I would love love love to watch Drunk History with you! I wish I could call you when I’m in a funk to come over and watch something. It’s hard to make friends after college. Also it seems so hard to really get as close to people as I did when I was younger. Thanks for this post, Jenny. You always seem to make me feel better!

  106. You are awesome, Jenny! Never forget that! And by the by… last October my friend was having a seriously bad day & when she got home from work her husband had surprised her by putting up their Christmas tree & decorating it. She kept that thing up forever because it made her happy and I think that rocks! Who the heck cares what you have up in your house, or how you decorate, or anything else because your house = your happy place!!! So cuddle up on your couch & binge watch TV & let that Christmas tree make you feel all warm & happy – plus if your fur-kids are like mine then that Christmas tree = fun toy so technically if you took it down you would be taking away their joy & I know you wouldn’t want to do that!! Up With Christmas Trees Forever!!

  107. My tree is still up too… we took off the decorations but left the tree. I’m thinking of just leaving it there and calling it a houseplant… or a fire hazard.. whatever.

  108. Sorry if my reading comprehension is crap and you’ve already answered this but – how do we know what stores to go to in order to grab one of these beauties?

  109. I am sorry for your broken head. I think we all have broken heads of varying degrees now (I have the flu AND a broken head). …… I have been watching Dick Van Dyke Show reruns. That has been comforting for some reason.

  110. those posters are awesome, you should sell them. I would love just to have one to put on the wall and color. Gorgeous!

  111. Like, today is my non-birthday. You know, the one you officially no longer recognize. I’m in a funk, a midlife crisis and depression myself. I want to read your book. Maybe I can beat the hell out of this midlife CRAP I am going through. Or hit myself in the head with it. Whatever one works the quickest. Either way, I am going to get your book. You rock.

  112. I really would love one of your posters. I knew nothing about IBD iam following on Facebook now. I work at a library and I think people need to know about this day! How can I get a poster?

  113. yay! can’t wait to read! sent you an email but was rejected by the server. (trying not to take it personally…) hope someone reads this who needs a good laugh:
    dear jenny,
    love your words. i haven’t laughed so hard at something since i found comedian maria bamford. (also an outspoken sufferer of mental illness.) thought you would enjoy “buttercup festival.” (is like ‘calvin and hobbes’… if calvin was a 30-something goth kid… and hobbes was a scythe.)
    series one: http://www.buttercupfestival.com/1vol1.htm
    series two: http://www.buttercupfestival.com/2-1.htm
    just wanted to share a discovery with others weird enough to get it.
    in solidarity – (mama)trish
    PS so glad you read your own books-on-tape! your voice is so expressive and comforting! james earl jones’ pales in comparison. 🙂

  114. Read your first two books and will have to get this one too. My Christmas tree is still up too! And I have realized that I have two kinds of friends..Ones that don’t put up trees anymore now that the kids have moved out and ones that leave the tree up all year long. I’m leaving it up to cheer up the house this time of year. It’s coming down before Easter! I promise.

  115. Fun fact, my son uses a Christmas tree as a night light all year round. For going on 9 years now, it’s just the night light in his room. In our world, Christmas trees staying up all year is totally normal. Welcome to our world 🙂

  116. My husband and I are headed to my parents’ house this weekend to finally exchange Christmas gifts, so I’m totally in support of having your tree still up!

  117. Dude! That’s exactly the same day I got the flu and couldn’t tell if it was my depression or the flu! (plot twist: both)

    My Prozac-friend (wow that makes her sound like a drug dealer, don’t worry she isn’t, I don’t need a dealer to get Prozac) unfortunately lives like 9 hours away though. So I just cuddled my kitty, Tesla, and read fanfiction for like ten hours straight.

    I’m so productive ;u;

  118. Oh my fish! So, I’m up in the middle of the night for no good reason except that it’s hot in SD for February and there’s sniffly noses and spiders…and other stuff. So I start OA because I binge watched stranger things when it first released and overlooked OA. Then I had to check in with your blog and just read your note! I guess discombobulated minds think alike? Either way…..great suggestions and I’m getting on it. Hopefully work won’t be too difficult in 3 hours when I’m supposed to leave the house. At least it’s a long weekend.

  119. Jenny, I have no idea how to navigate blogs as this is my first time. And the chances of you even reading this are so slim but for some reason this is the place I felt most comfortable to express myself. Your books have been amazingly supportive for me and I just want to thank you for allowing me to feel like I’m not alone and not totally crazy. I’m currently sitting at my computer crying my eyes out, waiting for this intense sorrow and pain to pass. I am struggling to find reasons to continue breathing and don’t feel as though I am important enough to reach to any of my friends or family for help or comfort. Somehow, writing anonymously to a group of people who all have the common adoration for you is the closest thing to a support system I have at the moment. So, thank you very much for this. Knowing you struggle with similar things I do helps me get through these tough days. I am so grateful for your books as they are a reminder that my pain will pass and that I am not alone. Thank you. I am going to stop now as my key board is drenched in salty tears.

    (I’m reading this. You’re not alone. Remember that depression lies. ~ Jenny)

  120. Kat, you are not alone. You matter. To this cramazy (amazing + crazy, 😛 to spellcheck) community and to others. I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this post and if not, no worries, you will be some day. <3

  121. Thank you for your wonderful books and drawings! I can’t wait for your new book! Where can I find a list of where I can get your beautiful drawing for indie book store day. Are you sending any of them to MN? Please, please, please.

  122. i went for an interview for an editorial position at an insurance company once. i had come from a pretty high up position at a company that shut down (not because of me i assume) and i was young and thought i was witty. which of course i am. but anyway, i made a comment on relying on spellcheck and laughed and they stared at me with totally blank faces. like seriously. i did not get the job. but then again, why would i want to work with people who clearly had no sense of humor? who’d have thought that’d be the case in the insurance world?

    i also have been playing the game sick or depressed. as it turns out it was the latter, but i upped my meds a bit and took some days off. i also roller skated, which sometimes is my cure for everything.

    keep hanging on.

  123. I highly suggest the Sandman Slim series by Richard Kadrey. You are both my #1 and #2 author type people. And you can’t go wrong with a book about a guy who comes back from living in hell to avenge his murdered girlfriend! He’s a total badass. With an attitude. Kind of like you. <3 😀

  124. The only person I want to lick on the face is my child. He’s getting a little old for that. It makes me sad.

  125. I once decorated the same tree three years in a row because I couldn’t get my shit together enough to throw it out.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: