I just found out that you can design your own leggings, so of course I was like, “You know what these pants need? A motherfucking happy raccoon.”
The best part is that not only is an insane raccoon staring down people on the subway, but also his fur makes it look like you have luxuriously long leg hair with glitter stuck in it. Like a werewolf who just came from a party. The only thing better to put on leggings would be a really unflattering picture of your ex on them and then walked around their neighborhood like a mobile billboard they can’t untag themselves in.
Just a suggestion.
PS. Today is Victor’s birthday. Happy birthday, sweetie. I love you. For your birthday I am not buying these tights. For you, I mean. I might buy some for me. BECAUSE LOOK AT THEM, VICTOR.
PPS. They’re in my shop (along with