“GO FASTER.”
When I first saw this I was all “Yeah lion, we get it. You’re too good to walk” because this is exactly the kind of asshole move a lion would make but it turns out it’s some sort of bizarre circus act celebrating the 59th anniversary of Chinese communism because apparently China thinks lions aren’t dangerous enough. For their 60th anniversary they’re going to put a griffin with chainsaw hands on a motorcycle. I assume. Good work, China. What happens when the lion escapes from the circus and kills all your zebras? Because you know the zebras would be standing there all “Hey, that sounds like a horse but what the fuck is on his bac-OHMYGODHEJUSTATEHAROLD.” It’d basically be like the horsemen of the apocolypse but for zebras.
Update: So apparently China doesn’t even have zebras and is forced to paint zebra stripes on ponies, probably because all their real zebras were eaten by horseback-riding lions. I think the lesson here is that communism kills zebras and that griffins should be illegal.
Updated again: Well apparently Griffins don’t need to be banned because they don’t actually exist. So God only knows what the Chinese will come up with instead. If I had to guess though I’d say it’ll probaby be a giant squid holding a flamethrower while riding a carousel. Or an enormous ball of cobras tied to the top of a bus that will explode if it gets below 60 mph.
I would totally pay to see that.
Comment of the day: So they paint their zebras, and they expect us to believe the pandas came like that? They probably stopped breeding after being traumatised by lions ball sacks. ~ Stare Bear