I live in rural Texas, so every ten feet there’s a sign warning motorists that there are deer. The signs so prevalent that you don’t even notice them anymore, and they serve no purpose at all, unless you’re suddenly new to the existence of deer.
In an entirely unrelated and non-illegal note, did you know that Kinko’s will print almost any sign that you make, no questions asked?
PS. Victor just yelled at me because apparently you can get arrested for posting unicorn-crossing signs regardless of your intentions, but then I reminded him that this whole post was just hypothetical, and that he probably shouldn’t drive down our street today. Then he sighed and said that it was a terrific waste of money, mainly because people would drive much more carefully if I’d put a giant Kraken on the sign, or maybe one that said “WATCH FOR MINOTAURS.” Then I said that it would be better if it said “WATCH FOR MINOTAURS ON BRIDGE” and he pointed out that we didn’t live anywhere near a bridge, and then I explained that that would make drivers even more alert, because even if they were already minotaur-vigilant, they’d be all “Wait…when did they put in a bridge? I should really slow down and pay more attention to my surroundings.”
Victor said he couldn’t argue with that, but I suspect it’s less because of my sound logic and more because he’s perfectly aware of how these disagreements end.
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In unrelated news, it’s Monday! Which means I’m late for the weekly wrap-up. Again. Let’s get started, shall we?
What you missed on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a complete douche-canoe):
What you missed on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Cobra/chupacabra deathmatch statue. Desk sized. Perfect wedding cake topper.
- You are the BEST kind of fucked up.
- Copernicus-the-homicidal-monkey poster
- Guess what I didn’t buy today?
- Romance is in the air. Romance and mange.
What you missed on the internets:
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- Halfway down the page. Starts with “Lawson, Jenny.” Ends with me screaming in excitement and terror.
- And other stuff. It got confusing and I hid under the couch until it went away.
This week on Shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome: