Today I planned on going over all the craziness of the book tour but I’m postponing for a bit because I’ve come down with a mild case of I-HAVE-THE-PLAGUE-AND-I’M-GOING-TO-DIE. And I asked Victor to feel my head to see if I have a fever and he was like, “Ew. No. Why do you always ask me to touch you when you’re sick? People like you are the reason why typhoid spread so far” and I was like, “OMG, you are totally over-reacting. But also, does my urine taste weird?” and then the people behind us at the taco shop moved to another table and that’s how you get privacy. And also maybe typhoid.
“I’M NUMBER TWO!” ~ Things I didn’t think I’d scream excitedly in front of strangers until this happened.
PPS. If you want a signed copy and couldn’t make it to a signing then you can go to Book People’s website and order one. I’ll drop by and sign books as soon as the plague has passed. Just write what you want me to personalize in the comment section of their website at checkout. They ship everywhere. (And I’ll sign any of my otherbooks too. Your wish = my command. Unless your wish is for me to stop asking you to feel my head when I’m sick. Sorry. That’s what you signed up for, Victor.)
Okay. Next week we’re doing the 7th Annual James Garfield Miracle. Every year I think it will be the last and every year the people who were helped in the past ask me if it’s going on again because they’re now back on their feet and they want a chance to give back and this year is no exception, so technically I blame you. But in a good way. (In case you’re new, the James Garfield Miracle is when we get together and help give toys, blankets, and books to homeless children or to children whose parents are seriously struggling during the holidays. It’s done anonymously in this community without any sponsors and it is a great joy to watch.) If you want to help someone, or if you’re unable to buy a toy for your kid this holiday then watch this blog next week and I’ll set it up with all the instructions then. It is awesome and exhausting and THIS IS NOT THAT.
Today’s post is just a small way to say thank you to everyone here who has been so amazing and supportive. Because of the sponsors on the sidebars we’re able to keep this blog going without losing money. Because of the people who buy things using my affiliate links I’m able to give back that money during the James Garfield Miracle. Because you’ve been so incredibly supportive with my writing I now have two #1 NYT bestsellers and can spend my time creating ridiculous things that somehow help others. That’s pretty amazing and I am so incredibly lucky.
As a small ‘thank you’ I decided that it would be nice to give back in some way so I pulled out a stack of my books that I usually drop off at Little Free Libraries and I’m going to give them away to the first people who say that they really need one. Maybe you haven’t been able to afford one of them yet, or maybe you know someone who needs one, or maybe you’re in a bad place and you just need a reminder that someone cares…whatever. Just leave a comment (with an email address!) telling me if you want Let’s Pretend This Never Happened in hard cover, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened on CD, Furiously Happy in hardcover, or Furiously Happy on CD. If YOU ARE HERE was finished I’d give it away too but we have a couple more months before it’s done. I’ll email you for your mailing address so make sure you check your email today.
Additionally, I know there are a lot of people during the holiday seasons who feel alone so I thought maybe I would set up an open thread on my Facebook page if any of you want to become friends or exchange info to send cards or to find someone struggling with similar things to have someone to talk to. I have no idea if this is a good idea or not, but what the hell. Click here if you want to find friends in the community.
And now, comments are open. Let me know if you are in need of a book and be sure to specify which book and which format because it’s first-asked, first served.
Things to give away today. Dorothy Barker not included.
UPDATED: Holy crap, that went fast. I gave away the 35 copies I had and I’m going to check the closets to see if I have any more. I think I have a box of Let’s Pretend copies somewhere if I can find them. I left comments on all the comments that I could fill and I’ve already been told that some people are contacting others to pass on their copy or buy one for others. I love you people so hard. If I find more books and email you but someone else has bought it for you since I’ve written this then just let me know and I’ll move on to the next person. Thank you for being you.
PS. I’m not sure how safe it is to have your email address in a comment so I’ll probably go back and delete them in a day or two so they don’t get used for spam or something. Also, if you want to buy someone a copy but don’t want to ask for their physical address you can just confirm that the email works and then send them an electronic gift card. I trust everyone in this community but I’m just throwing it out there just in case.
If you’ve read Furiously Happy, you already know I wrote an entire chapter about how I almost lost the chance to narrate my first book because I was too terrified and kept fucking up. My amazing friend Neil Gaiman gave me the wonderful advice to “pretend you’re good at it” and it worked. Since then I have written that mantra on my arm every time I panic. I write it a lot.
Today the Audie Award nominations were announced and I found out that I’m a finalist in the categories of Humor and Best Narration by Author. And I may have cried a little. Because I still have to pretend I’m good at it (and perhaps I always will) but maybe it’s not as obvious to everyone else. Which is nice. No pretending necessary.
PS. It just dawned on me that most of you probably have no idea what the Audie Awards are. They’re like the Grammys, but substitute “glamorous rockstars” with “audio books”. So, yeah. It’s a pretty big deal.
PPS. Giant thanks to everyone who bought my audiobook. I like to pretend that I’m going with you on long road trips, or that I’m in your house with you while you’re doing the dishes. It makes me feel less hermity and also lightly stalkerish, but in a friendly and encouraging sort of way.
PPPS. Everyone in these categories are amazing. You should check out all of these books.
Last September when Furiously Happy came out I was so terrified that people wouldn’t like it, wouldn’t understand it, or would run away after realizing I’m quite a bit crazier than I ever let on. But you stayed – for the most part – and then even more of you showed up, and now it’s February and Furiously Happy is still on the top 20 NYT list. This is because of you. You share quotes, and pictures of yourself reading it, and tell others that it helped and pass it on to people who you think will need it to understand you or to better understand themselves. Every day I see people online sharing it and it makes such a difference to me and to the people who every day discover that they are so much less alone than they thought.
As a thank you I’d like to give you all a box full of live kittens but I don’t have that many kittens or boxes and also I don’t have your address, so instead today I’m giving out copies of Furiously Happy to people who haven’t been able to afford a copy. If you’re struggling right now and you need a copy just make a wishlist with Furiously Happy on it. Or if you have Furiously Happy but need someone to buy you another book to get you through a rough time then make a wish list with that book on it. A book you loved as a kid. A book to calm you, or revive you, or to read to children.
I’m going to give out 30 copies of my book. If you need one I’m going to tell you how to do it. And every time I do this sort of thing others want to get involved and help so if you want to give books to someone in need you can click on the wish lists in the comments section and send hope and stories and escape to lovely strangers.
Will this work? No idea. But let’s try.
Here are the rules:
If you’re in a rough place and need a book to transport you somewhere else make a BRAND NEW wish list with nothing on it but the book you want. (Exception: If you have a kid who needs a book you can add that too.)
Here’s how you make a wish list: Under “Your Lists” on the right, top side of Amazon select “Create a list”. Choose “Wish list” and name it something like “The book I really need right now” and choose “Public”. Then click “Create list”. Now add a book to your list by going to the book and clicking the “add to list” button on the bottom right. Now here’s the most important thing that everyone forgets to do. You have to assign a shipping address to that specific wish list or it won’t go to you. So click on the wish list and click on “public” and it’ll take you to “List settings”. Click “view details” and where it says “shipping address” add yours. (Your city will be shown to others but not your full address.) Then save changes. Now leave a comment with a link to your wish list. Click here for my sample wish list so you’ll know what one looks like. I have about 20 books listed on it for inspiration if you don’t know exactly what you want. In your comment say which book you want in case someone specifically wants to buy you that book. Feel happy.
Here’s how you buy a book for a stranger. Click on their link. Choose a book. Select their name so it goes to their address. If it doesn’t give you the option of picking their name it means they didn’t add a shipping address so delete what’s in your cart and go to the next person. Send a story to someone in need. Feel happy.
The only rule is that this is just for books. No gift cards or clothes or anything else because it gets out of hand really quickly. Just a simple book to take you away from the world and help you find new ones.
And as always, thank you. Thank you for supporting my words and listening and passing them on to others. I’m hesitantly starting book 3 right now and you’re giving me strength to keep writing even when I doubt myself. I owe you one. Or 30.
UPDATED: Here are screen shots of what you should see while making a wishlist and add a shipping destination because it’s really easy to mess up.
Create a list under “Your lists”.
Make it a wish list, name it and make it public.
After you click “create list” click on the “public” button below:
Click “view details” to add your shipping address to this wish list:
Choose a shipping address and save changes.
Now you’re ready to add something to your list. Pick a book and choose the “add to list” button on bottom right side:
If you have another wish list set as your default then you’ll need to click “move to another list.”
Just click the list you’re going to share here.
Now go to the wish list and copy the link and paste it into the comments. That should work. There might be a better way of doing it but that’s how I do it.
PS. If you click on a wish list that says it’s empty that’s because the book has been bought for them. 🙂 If you leave a comment and don’t see it that’s because my blog puts people into moderation for a bit so I have to approve the comments and sometimes it takes me a minute. It’ll show up.
PPS. In the time it’s taken for me to write all of this a ton of books have been sent out to strangers (I prefer the term “strangelings”) on the internet and I haven’t even started giving away my own portion. Thank you. For asking and for giving.
PPPS. It’s 10:30pm Texas time and when I try to buy people books it gives me an error message during checkout. I’m just going to assume we broke amazon with our awesomeness. If you get error messages too just try again in a bit. Also, a ton of books have been sent out all over the world so you might have to search a lot to find a wish list that hasn’t been filled. Keep looking though if you want to help. New comments are approved every 15 minutes (until I go to sleep, at least) and they’re still coming in.
UPDATED, DAY 2: Technically yesterday was Booksgiving but Amazon crashed for like 4 hours yesterday so I say we keep going today. Besides, it’s a leap year so we get an extra day this month anyway. Might as well use it for good.
Also, are you reading these comments? Because you should be…
Hello, Florida! Today I’m at Books &Books in Coral Gables, Florida at 7pm. Come see me? Pretty please? Space is limited for the event so you may want to buy a book from the store to have a guaranteed spot for the reading, but I’ll stay later and sign anything you want for free even if you don’t have a book at all.
This is my last stop on the first leg of the tour and I love you all for your support! It’s been exhausting and wonderful and terrifying and brilliant all at once. But it’s the final stop for a week, which is good because I miss my couch and everyone who snuggles with me on it. So let’s make this awesome, Miami, because I am leaving it all on the stage. And by “it” I mean my dirty laundry, probably some empty bottles and what’s left of my dignity.
I got an email from editor saying “HAPPY PUB DAY!” and I was like, there’s a special day just for going to pubs?My God, we released my book on exactly the right day, but then I realized “pub” was short for “published” and OMG ::KERMIT FLAIL:: Y’ALL, MY BOOK IS OUT TODAY. Did you get it? Did you read it? Are you now running away because you realize I’m even crazier than I may have let on?
I stayed up late watching lovely people who were counting down the minutes until midnight when my book would show up on their reader and it seems surreal that after years of working on this it’s finally in your hands. Thank you for making me write this. Thank you for supporting me and passing on my work to others and for sharing and for helping me when I find myself stuck. Thank you.
And tonight? We party as if we all had ponies. Tonight is our launch and instead of doing tv shows and fancy parties I’m staying home and broadcasting live from my house as I do a reading and a Q&A for you guys and I’m nervous as hell but also very excited because over 1000 of you have already RSVPed and that’s about 998 more people I’ve ever had at my house in real life. To watch it just click here at 7pm central tonight. You don’t have to have a camera or an account…just computer that can pick up a video feed. With luck it’ll go well and not crash, but if it crashes just follow me on twitter and we’ll regroup. You can chat in the hangout, I think, but it’ll probably be easier if you do it on twitter using the hashtag #FH so everyone can follow along. Or just lurk. Or come late and watch the recorded video and pretend it’s live. Or skip it and go spelunking. Whatever makes you (furiously) happy.
PS. I just checked and my book is #3 on Amazon in biographies right now. Yeehaw! Number one is Mindy Kaling who is too adorable for me to stab so I can take her place, but number two is “Bill O’Reilly Killing Reagan“. WTF? I already didn’t like O’Reilly and now he’s killing Reagan and beating me in rankings? This is why we can’t have nice things.
PPS. Last night we did a test to see if I could make google hangouts work and I super fucked it up at first but then we got our shit together and giant thank yous go out to the hundreds of people who showed up to tell me what I was doing wrong and also to see my beaver. If you want to see what you missed it’s recorded right hereand if you click on “cc” for subtitles it becomes even more ridiculous.