Phone conversation with my friend Karen:
Karen: Hello?
me: So I’m making a lingerie business.
Karen: Or you could just start with “Hello”. Either way.
me: I’m too excited for greetings. I just made a new kind of lingerie for people who hate to wear lingerie. It’s a giant sleep shirt but it says “USE YOUR IVAGINATION“. Get it? Because it’s comfy and it’s telling people “I have a vagina“. Which is kind of sexy. And if your guy doesn’t like it it’s his fault for not having enough creativity. Because they need to use their imagination.
Karen: Wow.
me: I kind of want to buy one for everyone I know. Is that weird? Buying lingerie for people I don’t want to have sex with?
Karen: It’s…a little weird. You’re selling it in your store?
me: Yeah. AND for my model I used a guy who looks just like Chris Farley.
Karen: Um…why?
me: Because I like Chris Farley. Plus, every woman who looks at the picture will be like “Wow. I am totally going to look sexier than that guy in my ivagination shirt.” AND THEY WILL.
Karen: You know what I’m thinking?
me: That I should totally start my own lingerie business.
Karen: You should…totally start your own lingerie business.
PS. Yes, this is a lingerie business inspired by a kid’s cup. Stop judging me.
PPS. If the words “Brian Boitano with an ice cream sandwich” don’t mean anything to you then you need to go catch up on my favorite post ever.