I have a problem

Conversation I had with Victor while Hailey was playing on the playground.

me:  Does Hailey’s cup say “Vagina” on it?

Victor:  Um.  What?

me:  Vagina.  It looks like Hailey’s cup says “vagina” on it.

Victor:  It doesn’t.  Like, at all.

me:  Well, I figured.  But it looks like it.

Victor:  No.  No, it doesn’t.

me:  Hang on.  Let me take a picture from my angle.

Victor:  Wow.  That...totally looks like it says “vagina”.

me:  Exactly.

PS.  It actually says “Imagination”.  Something I needed very little of to find a vagina in that cup.

*********

In non-related news, it’s time for the weekly wrap-up.  Let’s get started, shall we?

What you missed on the Houston Chronicle:

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up sponsored by posh brood, a free catalogue of upscale, luxe and hop vacation spots that are mom-tested.  Their slogan is “Offspring.  Don’t leave home without them.”  Which is a good mantra since it’s illegal to leave your baby at home alone, even if there are cats there with them.  Trust me on this one.  Anyway, you should check them out because they’re awesome and they’ll keep you from getting arrested.  Plus you need a vacation.

122 replies. read them below or add one

  1. It totally DOES say Vagina on it! Sheesh! Victor needs to learn how to read.

    wendy recently posted Yup - 2 More!!.

  2. OMG I looked at the picture before I read the post and I thought, “Who is giving kids cups that say ‘VAGINA’ on them?” I thought perhaps it was a kid drink from The Vagina Monologues show or something…

    AlohaKarina recently posted KCC Farmer’s Market, Oahu – A Virtual Visit.

  3. Oh my god. That cup says “Vagina” and nobody can tell me otherwise. Imagination my ass.

    Analee recently posted shewhoisAnna: RT @zestylime: can th last episode of House just be House and Wilson making out and then Tritter comes in and arrests them.

  4. LOVE it!!!!!

  5. It totally looks like vagina. Not that I’m opposed to cups that say vagina, I’m just opposed to cups that are confusing.

    Veronica recently posted Can you take a photo, Mum?.

  6. I see it! Bwaaaahaha!

    Jen recently posted State of the Lane.

  7. Awesome. And it has a dumpster on it.

    Mrs. Mustache recently posted $250 is Too Much For a Uterus Lamp.

  8. On the bright side, now I know what to ask my husband to get me for my birthday. ( Hint: It rhymes with “schmagina cup”)

    Katrina @ 'Sota Is Sexy recently posted When your friends become famous.

  9. Perhaps it helps if you HAVE a vagina to see that it clearly says VAGINA!!

    Pish Posh recently posted I'm Your Man: Male Sexytime.

  10. My first laugh of the day. Thank you.

  11. I totally see “Mangina” on there… so yes, you are crazy.

    Rachael recently posted Double Tea Cups.

  12. 13
    Just A. Reader

    I see vagina. Of course, I see vaginas everywhere. It’s a gift.

  13. Yep, definitely says vagina. Someone didn’t think that one through.

    Brea recently posted Sometimes Life Seems to Hard..

  14. It’s about time they made a vagina cup. The jock strap has monopolized the genitalia protection market long enough.

    Of course the straw is baffling. Im guessing it’s for ventilation. A vagina needs to breathe.
    I learned that in band camp.

    I’m joking. I never went to band camp. I played the harp and they don’t let you play the harp in band. It’s hard to carry onto the football field.

    Mrs. P recently posted THanks and SHanks. Not compatible, believe it or not..

  15. Vaginas are everywhere these days.

  16. That kid in the football helmet is super stoked about vaginas. Look at his eyes!!

    Ally recently posted What is a Good Name for an Elephant?.

  17. At least it might say “vagina” instead of “hooha”.

    Dangerous Lilly recently posted Glass Dildos: The Curved Joy Flower.

  18. It *completely* looks like “vagina.” I think we all know what needs to happen now. The Bloggess Vagina Cup. Could you incorporate Juanita into it? I think a Juanita Weasel Vagina Cup is epic win.

    Sharon Wachsler recently posted Update: Illness, Writing, Not Much Training.

  19. I totally see it.

    Elsmama recently posted Happy Valentine’s Day..

  20. Smh. I would say “only you” but I would be wrong. Lol

  21. I’m thinking that cup should be for adults only lol

    Amanda recently posted Lap Dog.

  22. What.The.Fuck. It TOTALLY says vagina. If you don’t see that, you are insane. That is all.

    Tara Williams recently posted More Slacking.

  23. The vagina is clear and understandable. I am confused what Imagination has to do with a toddler in football gear standing next to a trash dump with a huge bottle cap. Where the hell are you taking your kid?

    tamaratattles recently posted Shahs of Sunset: Meet Asa Soltan Rahmati.

  24. After all, you can’t spell imagination without vagina.

  25. I guess that one slipped by QUALITY CONTROL!

    Brett Minor recently posted Did You Mean "Lobster?".

  26. I’d like to imagine a vagina cup in your shop. Can you make that happen? Because everyone needs to drink out of a cup honoring lady bits.

    Rachel B recently posted Wolverines Are Kind Of Jerks But Vampires Are Ok.

  27. I can tell right now, other mothers are going to be calling you, not happy with you giving your kid Vagina cups. Or with any number of other questions that might come up after their children visit your house.

    Teresa Hill recently posted Rewriting: It wasn’t Sexy enough or happy enough..

  28. Imagination….vagina…it’s just like how boys spend high school! Except your daughter isn’t a boy or in high school. Hmm.

    Jen recently posted Books on the brain.

  29. There’s an italian place down the road, and every time I see the sign, I swear it says Porna Via.

    Allyn recently posted Foodie Friday: Orzo Salad.

  30. It’s been a long time since I took a cool drink out of a vagina…cup.

  31. Okay, not only does it say ‘vagina’ but it also has a large open receptacle with stuff flying out of it and a young man, wearing a helmet, no less, who appears he may jump in head first.

    If you would just add, “being witnessed by an alpaca” and you would have an accurate description of an unfortunate intimate moment I once experienced.

    The similarities are scary.

    Jess recently posted “Time Keeps on Slippin’…”*.

  32. Dear Bloggess,
    I see you on Pinterest, but I didn’t see a board for your book. You should make a book board. (Try not to freak people out too much with it)
    Have a friend who’s made collages to start her writing process for years, and I often gather images, but there wasn’t a way to share them easily until Pinterest. I made a board for my new book: http://pinterest.com/teresahillbooks/the-edge-of-heaven-by-teresa-hill/
    Made me so happy.

    Teresa Hill recently posted Rewriting: It wasn’t Sexy enough or happy enough..

  33. You don’t have a problem, the vagina cup does.

    Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted The All-New Super Friends Round Up S2 Ep1B.

  34. That parrot was awesome! :D

    prin recently posted Random conversation....

  35. I bet mcdonald’s would be more careful with their cups. Sure,they make dinner for kids out of pink paste, but they’re not giving kids vagina inscribed cups. Just sayiin’.

    juliejuie recently posted How I met The Bloggess and her real best friend IRL at BlogHer.

  36. Hahahahahah! That totally looked like vagina!

    Cheryl D. recently posted Natural Curiosity.

  37. Does Rick Santorum know about this?

    Rob R recently posted Jeans Day.

  38. Finally, a cup of vagina!

  39. I think Hailey is the bravest, most courageous kid on the planet….for not calling social services on any number of occasions. But the, she _is_ a product of your gene pool.

    Vote for Hailey! Kid of the Year!

    Sj recently posted When All Else Fails....Call The Plumber.

  40. Well, I never knew there was vagina in imagination, but now I see it (and it cannot be unseen). Also, that girl in the news background really made my evening.

    TriGirl recently posted When Good Yoga Goes Bad.

  41. Yes, vagina does exist (on that cup). Did you also point this out to Hailey? It’s never too early to learn how to spot genital names on signage.

  42. That cup is spectacular! And that you saw that in it is outstanding.

    That cockatoo diving into the chocolate deal is one of the funniest things EVER!!!!! OMG. I hope he turned out alright…chocolate is toxic to parrots. Or so my parrot’s vet says.

    XLMIC recently posted No remorse....

  43. I hope my parents had conversations like that when I was a kid.

    Katy recently posted Horror Episode Review: The River, Episode 3.

  44. Good morning! Great when that first read of the day makes you spit your coffee out with a snort. From a cup that doesn’t say ‘Vagina’ on it.

    weezafish recently posted Dinner in The Sky.

  45. Ok I SERIOUSLY need the “no peeing” thing as a bumper sticker. Everyone I’ve ever taken on a road trip knows that Rule #1 is “no peeing in the car”.

    lia recently posted Yarn Along: Vite Cowl.

  46. This is the wine slushy cup that runneth over, flooding vaginas across the world?

    Cool.

    hogsatemysister recently posted Use Your Damn iPockets!.

  47. Now I can’t get the idea of a plastic cup of vagina juice out of my mind. Thank you very much.

    jill

    in bed with married women recently posted I've Got Your Damn Contest Right Here, Buddy. Write Some Bad Erotic Haiku, Win a Manly, Manly Prize.

  48. Did that Happy-Ending Meal come with a Jenna Jameson action figure?

    Jen in Portlandia recently posted The Red Dress Playlist: "We R Who We R".

  49. LMAO! It does look like it say vagina!! Ahahahahahaha

    Shop with Me Mama recently posted mybody: Beat The Rush (Review & A Giveaway Too).

  50. And once again you make my insomnia soooo worth it!

    Cris recently posted Conversations With Wookie.

  51. Bwahahha. I can totally see vagina in there!

  52. 53
    Imperfectmomma

    So I clicked into the post using my phone and saw the picture before I read the post and thought…wow, she found a cup that says vagina. How does she do that?

    Imperfectmomma recently posted For you my friend.

  53. So good to know that there are other people out there that also pick up the wrong words of things. Also funny is when people think they know what things say. A girl told my Japanese daughter that her tattoo said “love” my Sayaka replied, “No it does not it says fruit.”

    Vivian recently posted For Real?.

  54. I gotta say, that looks more like “Vagtina” to me.

    I suspect Vagtina would be somewhere in the sideshows rather than in the actual circus.

    Vagtina cries her eyes out every night, stinking of carnies. Everything she does comes to naught. Nothing she can do will get her out of the sideshow life. She hates her wagon. She hates the damn clowns. She hates the roustabouts.

    She cannot hate the elephants, though.

    They seem so wise, so knowing. So huge. They look at you and blink purposefully. They smell of hay and sweat, not unpleasant.

    Sometimes, they raise a foot in support.

    Vagtina reached out and touched the trunk of an elephant. For one shining moment, all felt at peace.

  55. To me the image on the cup looks less like a dumpster and more like a chest filled with clothes and treasure and stuff. Which is evidently a deeply symbolic (and sex-positive) thing to put on a cup that says “vagina”. In fact, the whole thing reeks of profound symbolism (drinking through a straw, young boy with sunglasses and protective helmet). Probably.

    Freud would have a field day…

    Claire J recently posted Midnight in Zurich: Searching for the Beauty In Everything.

  56. Disapproving rabbits. Enough said.

  57. At that angle my first thought was vagina

    Gary recently posted I had a little food with my desserts today.

  58. You know sometimes you get that feeling where you think ‘Ok, this is it. This is how the internet ends for me. There cannot possibly be anything on the internet that I have not seen that will be more bizarre than this moment.’?
    I just had that. While watching a rabbit herding sheep.

    A rabbit.
    Herding sheep.

    *BOOM* That’s the sound of my ability to process the world we live in, blowing the fuck up.

    Anonymouse recently posted Bipolar Blossoms.

  59. Ha nice. I love the little boy in the football helmet. His eyes scream “gimme vagina”!

    alaina recently posted Strange Bird..

  60. I think vagina in a cup is actually called “The Fleshlight”.

    (Eden Fantasys, for the win!)

    Kris recently posted Restraining Order..

  61. I have my own disapproving rabbit at home. Now checking out that link to spur my imagination.

    The Middlest Sister recently posted Tough Break, Charlotte.

  62. I’m delighted that the Houston Chronicle let you say “asshole.” (I think it proves they’re not assholes, right?)

    Kathleen recently posted Dublin Street Poet.

  63. Wow, when I saw this in thumbnail version I was trying to guess what it actually said…not that your kid wouldn’t have a cup with vagina on it… My guess was Wagtails. But it does look like that from your angle, which explains the look on the little boy’s face on the cup.

    WG

    WilyGuy recently posted I Am No Longer Susan Lucci!.

  64. Wow. Totally vagina. No imagination needed.

    Jaime recently posted Homemade Friday: Sock Infidelity Numero Dos.

  65. Uh, yeah. That was not an imaginative stretch in the least. When the pic showed up on my dashboard, I thought to myself, you know, Jenny has gone around the bend. Now she is designing vagina cups for zazzle. Thank goodness that was not the case.

    Rebeccah recently posted Those Long Dead Relatives Don't Just Find Themselves You Know.

  66. I could totally go for a huge cup of vagina right now. As long as it just has some essence of vagina, and not actual pureed vagina.

    Birdman recently posted Stumbleupon? Bloggers? Google Adsense?.

  67. Some guy in a cubicle who designed that cup is giggling gleefully over his arrangement of the lettering on that cup. He just KNOWS that people will question the wording, but not be brave enough to mention it on the internet. Guess you showed HIM, Jenny. No vagina goes unnoticed on The Bloggess’ watch.

    tracey recently posted This is not a dog blog. I promise..

  68. I love the Juanita apron, but I totally hate Zazzle. Any other purchase options?

  69. I would have so found vagina in that. Also, Juanita is still the highlight of MY week. Happy Sunday, Jenny (can I call you, Jenny?)

    Karen Sanders recently posted Orphaned at 32, Adopted at 37.

  70. Imagination = vagina. I believe Lady Gaga already follows this line of thought. :)

    LDiggitty recently posted jewels of the interweb (volume 14).

  71. you need to get one of those badgermins. Seriously.

    Goddess of Books recently posted The Fault in Our Stars.

  72. Omigosh. Juanita holding a vagina cup. I see it now.

  73. The rabbits were almost as good as the vagina!

    (And there’s a sentence I am fairly certain has never been uttered before. Thank God.)

    Carrie recently posted Let’s see…I’m a douchebag and I suck at math. Yeah, that about sums it up..

  74. -shudders- people need to proof read what they give our kids

    Lori recently posted week one of the “new” me.

  75. I think you should make a vagina cup. Well. Not a cup that looks like a vagina, although there may actually be a niche market for that. But a cup that says vagina on it. People would buy it. But don’t put a picture of a vagina on it, because that might get you arrested. Or at least the people who buy the vagina cups. I’m going to stop talking now.

    carolyn recently posted If My Kid Ever Figures This Arrangement Out, I'm SCREWED..

  76. What a kid-friendly little cup. Excellent.

    P.S. I got an ARC of your book – I’m about halfway through and laughing all the way! (It’s like a Christmas carol, but with more penises and stabbing.)

    Allison recently posted Nebula Award Nominations, Part II: Still Pretty Clueless.

  77. Hahahah…I see vagina, too.

    Mayor Gia recently posted Friday Photographs!.

  78. Totally looks like vagina. The process of connecting the image on the cup to a vagina scared me though.

    Ramona recently posted I'm Not Snubbing You.....Really.

  79. Victor should just learn to trust you on this stuff.

    Kat Rowley recently posted Stupid Technology.

  80. *sigh* I looked at it and saw “imagination”….WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME???

    Elisa recently posted Elisa and “that Twitter thing”.

  81. It absolutely says vagina on that cup.

    Also, love your art that you posted in the houston chronicle. The colours are beautiful.

    Amanda recently posted How Pinterest is ruining my life.

  82. Yeah, it certainly didn’t take much imagination to see vagina on that cup. People gotta start looking at things from all angles! :-)

  83. I love your artwork from the Houston Chronicle. The pictures are bright and colorful yet totally comforting. Can you Zazzle that?

  84. It really does look like vagina.

    Well, the word “vagina”….

    Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted The Perfect Outfit.

  85. I spot words that aren’t meant to be what they look like all the time. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one who does this. This is a clear sign that Victor lacks imagination. I can only guess he lacks a vagina too.

    Kaitlyn recently posted When you know you're wrong....

  86. It just looks like it says “vagina”. It actually says “angina”, which is a warning that “if you drink too much of the {stuff} that is in this cup, it will cause you heart problems.”

    ~EdT.

    EdT. recently posted Top Chef Canada Texas: Hot and Cold. And ASIAN..

  87. I thought only guys saw vaginas everywhere. Cool!

    –Mike

    P.S.

    This is humor. Women are much more than vaginas to me. I shouldn’t have to put this here, but you never know.

    Mike P. recently posted Firsts….

  88. There are posters up all over campus for a production of The Vagina Monologues. I keep seeing them and thinking it says, “The Angina Monologues.”

  89. I had a bumper sticker that said “I <3 my imaginary boyfriend." My ex wanted to tear off boyfriend and parts of imaginary to change it to "I <3 my vagina." Luckily, he never got around to it. I have a feeling it would have gotten my car keyed for crudeness in the small town my family lived in.

  90. Have you seen the other recommendations that Zazzle gives for the juanita apron?!? http://www.zazzle.com/juanitas_donkey_show_tijuana_beastiality_spoof_apron-154851741286392665

  91. Dude, that TOTALLY says vagina and anyone who argues is just plain wrong.

    Chelle recently posted The Bloggess Got Me!.

  92. You should design “vagina” coffee mugs for your store. It would absolutely cut down on women losing their favorite mug to their husband or visitors.

    Katie recently posted Alcohol and Neurontin-- Cure what ails ya.

  93. Somebody totally did that on purpose. I’m guessing a man.

    sheriji recently posted so much for those delusions (of grandeur).

  94. Something to add to your store! Vagina cup!

    Jell Jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown recently posted My Hubs, the hero. At your service..

  95. Imaginavagination: what I have to do to get in touch with my inner female. (She is a total flooze, btw, in case you were wondering.)

    Jonah Gibson (@aimlessjonah) recently posted Tackling Obsession.

  96. Oh my God Jen! That is hilarious!

    Ugly Truth News recently posted Ugly Truth Advice – Get The HARD Truth.

  97. I took a photo of an unfortunate drawing of a “train” made of “bread” on a Penn Station cup for kids. Looks like a big penis to me. The photo is on it’s way to your inbox.

  98. In high school volleyball, we played a team from Bad Axe whose mascot was the Hatchets. When their jerseys were at the right angle it looked like they were the Bad Ass Bitches. Which would have been way cooler.

  99. “Dangerous Lilly February 25, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    At least it might say “vagina” instead of “hooha”.”

    This had me giggling, then a little sober. You’re absolutely right. But the idea of a cup that says “hooha” on it is still hi-larious.

    Maura @ Eve Was Partially Right recently posted Off Topic: Ode to Joy.

  100. That little football player looks mighty pleased to be on a vagina cup…

    Christine recently posted Why yes, it's always Winter here in Canada..

  101. Yep. Totally agree. It’s a vagina cup.

    Maybe that’s their way of hiding humor?

    Karen Maeby recently posted Life as a Pirate Hooker Weekly Update #1 2/20-2/26.

  102. No doubt. That’s what it says. Bet that was planned.

  103. Her cup totally runneth over with vagina.

    alonewithcats recently posted In the words of Liz Lemon, “blerg” and “nerds”.

  104. The amazing thing is that we were out to breakfast this morning (celebrating a birthday) and on the table next to us was one of those cups.

    And we’re in Denver. And it was a family owned restaurant, not a chain.

    They’re out to corrupt the youth of our nation.

    http://weinertwoodworks.com/forum/2012/02/pen-set/

  105. Tha Bloggess: putting the “magina” in imagination since 2012…

    Renee recently posted Bits and Pieces.

  106. Hmmm… what would be worse? I cup with the word vagina on it, or a vagina with the word cup on it? I think I’ll leave that question for the masses.

    The end.

  107. perhaps Nater-Tater is holding out for a vagina cup?

    clevelandpoet recently posted the one where my cats suck at picking Oscar winners.

  108. OMG! so glad you linked to the BADGERMIN! I came here to inform you and you were way ahead.

    Badgermin don’t give a f*ck…

    Love you (platonically, internettically, with chocolate on top)

  109. My best friend and I LOVE Juanita! Is there any way we can get the water bottle with her on it that says “Jazz Hands!” and “Fame! I’m gonna live forever!”? If so you would have two people in Texas that would use those daily and proudly! Thanks for making us laugh every day!

  110. OK…it’s a vagina cup…but is it a sippy cup? If you spilled the drink out of the cup, would it be sponge worthy? So many questions.

    The Blog Snobs recently posted The Blog Snobs Radio Show 8, Smell Your Fingers.

  111. I’m dying reading this. When I was a student teacher there was a club at our school called Destination Imagination. Some awesome kids turned “imagination” into “vagina”. None of the teacher said anything because a. whoever did it was a genius and b. we loved walking past it and pumping our fists in the air saying “Destination? Vagina!”

    Jenna
    callherhappy.com

    Jenna@CallHerHappy recently posted Our Minnesota To-Do List.

  112. That PoshBrood site is totally awesome! They have amazing photos and great detailed reviews. Kid friendly yet mom approved!

    Thanks!
    ~Allie

    Allie recently posted The Blogging Police are Coming for You.

  113. It TOTALLY says vagina!

    Gabriela - Living La Vida Normal recently posted DEAR Monday: The Hunger Games.

  114. 116
    Catherine

    I wonder if this falls under the bad parenting category – not checking all angles of cup before purchasing?

    Catherine recently posted Twenty-nine years and counting.

  115. Ha! That is totally like the time I was finally putting and end to a bad day and went to the bathroom before bed and looked over at the kids’ shampoo bottle sitting in the tub.. it looked like Hello Kitty was flipping me the bird.

    Jennifer recently posted Different Perspectives.

  116. I have had a Disapproving Rabbits t-shirt for years. Gets lots of attention. I think people think it’s Playboy at first. Which is awesome.

  117. 119
    devotchka

    I was originally reading this post in Google Reader, and instead of a photo of the cup, there was a black-and-white photo of Billie Holiday. I was terribly confused until I clicked through to here & saw the correct photo.

  118. Vaginas and Vacations. My perfect day. Seriously!

  119. PS Hi Allie and thanks!!!

  120. I just showed my boyfriend the picture and asked him what the cup said. He replied “Vagina!” I think this proves it.

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