This weekend I spoke at the Texas Book Festival and it was very weird, but awesome. Also, Tony Danza opened for me. Or possibly Tony Danza headlined and I just randomly followed him. Either way, it makes for a good conversation starter. Also, when Tony Danza was walking backstage I gave him one of those knowing waves that you give to people that says “Oh, hello again, person-that-I-totally-know-very-well” so he had to stop and say hi just in case he really knew me, and then I sort of freaked him out unintentionally.
me to Tony Danza: I once almost had this dead pony and I was going to name it Pony Danza so I could sing “Hold Me Closer, Pony Danza” to it.
Tony Danza: Oh.
me: But then I got outbid on the dead pony.
Tony Danza: Ah.
me: It had been dead for like a hundred years. I didn’t ask them to kill a live pony. I would never do that.
Tony: I would never think that about you.
me: Well, you don’t know me very well.
Then after Tony Danza left I realized that I never told him that the dead pony was taxidermied and wasn’t just an abandoned pony corpse. So now Tony Danza probably thinks I have emotional issues and that I collect dead ponies. And that is a sentence I never thought I’d write.
PS. A few hours later I ran into Tony Danza again and we rode around on golf carts together so I’m pretty sure we’re cool. Or that Tony Danza really just likes riding around on golf carts with emotionally unstable women. Hard to tell with golf carts.
PPS. My new t-shirt.