Hold me closer, Tony Danza

This weekend I spoke at the Texas Book Festival and it was very weird, but awesome.  Also, Tony Danza opened for me.  Or possibly Tony Danza headlined and I just randomly followed him.  Either way, it makes for a good conversation starter.  Also, when Tony Danza was walking backstage I gave him one of those knowing waves that you give to people that says “Oh, hello again, person-that-I-totally-know-very-well” so he had to stop and say hi just in case he really knew me, and then I sort of freaked him out unintentionally.

me to Tony Danza:  I once almost had this dead pony and I was going to name it Pony Danza so I could sing “Hold Me Closer, Pony Danza” to it.

Tony Danza:  Oh.

me:  But then I got outbid on the dead pony.

Tony Danza:  Ah.

me:  It had been dead for like a hundred years.  I didn’t ask them to kill a live pony.  I would never do that.

Tony:  I would never think that about you.

me:  Well, you don’t know me very well.

Then after Tony Danza left I realized that I never told him that the dead pony was taxidermied and wasn’t just an abandoned pony corpse.  So now Tony Danza probably thinks I have emotional issues and that I collect dead ponies.  And that is a sentence I never thought I’d write.

Hold me closer, Tony Danza.

PS.  A few hours later I ran into Tony Danza again and we rode around on golf carts together so I’m pretty sure we’re cool.  Or that Tony Danza really just likes riding around on golf carts with emotionally unstable women.  Hard to tell with golf carts.

PPS.  My new t-shirt.


270 replies. read them below or add one

  1. What a great picture! Your blue top is adorable.

  2. This just made my day. What a great way to finally meet Tony Danza.

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted The sky is falling!.

  3. Tony, Pony. Pony, Tony.

    ilikebeerandbabies recently posted The Confessional.

  4. That is delightful! And who wouldn’t enjoy riding around on golf carts, regardless of the company? It’s a bonding experience, for sure.

  5. “It wasn’t just a pony corpse. It was an ANTIQUE pony corpse!” Class.

    Joely recently posted Review: The Passage by Justin Cronin..

  6. 7

    He is still so good looking! Wow.

  7. Love it. You should probably send him a shirt.

    Kelly recently posted Superstition: Myths or Malarkey?.

  8. You guys have sort of similar eyebrow shapes. Your eyebrows could be cousins.

    nicki recently posted Making Perfect.

  9. I’m gonna be singing about Pony Danza the rest of the day now. So thanks for that.

  10. Pahahaha! He’s still quite hot, isn’t he?!

  11. Damn it, Sharon just stole my Who’s the Boss joke. Um… I got nothing, thanks Sharon. >=(

    JRose recently posted American Horror Story: Chibi Asylum.

  12. Your life amazes me.

    Great pic. 🙂

    ShredderFeeder recently posted On failed Artificial Intelligence….

  13. That is a great picture! You have such adventures!

  14. AHHH!!! I live in Austin, and I was TOTALLY GOING TO GO TO THE BOOK FESTIVAL but then I didn’t think there was anyone I wanted to see speak. I WISH I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE SPEAKING–I WOULD HAVE COME!! Damn, now I feel cheated.

    Ashley recently posted Another Workout, In Which Our Heroine Learns Perserverance.

  15. Tony Danza’s version of this story probably uses the word “crazy” more than once.

    ColdBlooded recently posted Iceberg Ahead..

  16. I’ll just state the obvious that we’re all thinking but nobody wants to say: I really like your blouse.

  17. How did you guys ride on golf carts together?!?
    That conversation was delightfully awkward.

    Winopants recently posted Kule “Loco”: How to Disrespect an Indian Village.

  18. Have you lost weight? You look fabulous!

  19. Tony Danza seems like the kind of guy who would understand where you were coming from even if you didn’t fully voice it.

    Amanda recently posted that time I went to Europe: part two - Monte Carlo.

  20. JEALOUS!!! I love Tony Danza!!!

    Bonnie recently posted Wide Awake ... and it sucks.

  21. First, you look pretty excellent in that pic.

    Second, the Twitter drama between you and Wil Wheaton recently was pretty damn hilarious…I mean really: Wil Wheaton was trying to find YOU at the Con. Because you’re that awesome, indeed. So now you have WW chasing you at conventions and Tony Danza opening your act…what’s next? HST gets his own reality show?

    Jess recently posted My 250th Post Should Have Substance, right? (or, shit I'd do if Death was comin' to GET me).

  22. You look incredible.

  23. Fucking AWESOME! LOL!

  24. Who DOESN’T like riding around on golf cards with emotionally unstable women? I’ve enjoyed many a golf cart ride with… myself. Crap.

    Katie recently posted Books That Scare Me: The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

  25. You look like you’ve lost weight. And I love Tony Danza.

  26. Tony Danza was on a reality show as a teacher… I have respect for that. Good on you Bloggess for meeting him!

    Kevin McCrank recently posted Freeway..

  27. He DOES look slightly terrified inthe pic. But I’m sure thats not about you. Or maybe it is, but it’s DEFINITLY because of the dead pony. I’m pretty sure it’s because at this point in his career you are more famous that he is. And you liek to collect dead animals, so what does that say about HIM. Way to make Tony Danza feel insecure Jenny.

  28. I would have done the exact same thing as you. Or more likely I would have accidentally let a fart fly out at some inappropriate moment. These things happen to me.

    Mary Anne recently posted Enter the Muffin – Hot Flash Fridays.

  29. I love that picture! You are looking Fabulous!

  30. Well, at least now you’re on his radar.

    Natalie the Singingfool recently posted No, I’m Not Ready to Have a Baby Yet, Thanks For Asking..

  31. I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone that it’s Tony Danza whose weird if he doesn’t understand taxidermied horses. Obviously.

    Carmen recently posted I'm annoyed. Damn Fucking Vaccination Debate..

  32. Ugh dude! That is supposed to say it’s definily NOT about the dead pony… I suck. Thanks Jenny, now I’m insecure!

    Mandee recently posted J Talks Football.

  33. Laughed until I choked! Which isn’t hard since my face is trying to murder me.

  34. You look totally hawt in that photo. Just sayin’. And now I’ll never sing that song normally, ever.

    leslie recently posted OWH Sketch Challenge #144.

  35. AMAZING! He’s still super handsome.

    John B recently posted lemony broccoli.

  36. Made us laugh! Tony Danza seems like a good sport too!

    Theresa recently posted BarkWorld Baby! day 1!.

  37. Ummm, You look beautiful. And skinny.

    Judith Light might kick your butt in a jealous rage, though.

    Robin Dance recently posted when it snows, i write love letters.

  38. You and your life experiences never cease to amaze me! I wanna be you when I steal someone’s identity.

    Jenn recently posted Addiction, Anxiety and Depression are Liars – Part Two.

  39. similarly, my wife got an autograph from patrick stewart this weekend, and when she handed him the hand made drawing of herself and captain picard drinking tea, she said:

    wife: it’s me and you. we’re friends. we’re drinking tea. earl grey. hot.

    patrick stewart: oh. i would never have guessed. next.

    then we stood next to him for a photo which was more awkward than my first trip to the gynecologist. so yeah, good weekend all around!

  40. I’m sure he will go and google “Pony Danza” now…

    Borg Blog recently posted The Not So Fuzzy Details.

  41. 42
    Lori Fredericks

    All jokes aside, you look fantastic in this picture, just so you know.

  42. Who doesn’t like riding around on golf carts with emotionally unstable women.

    Corey Feldman recently posted Sex.

  43. Tony seems the type to Google his own web presence. If so, HI TONY!

  44. I just was telling my staff the story of how my first ever “Tiger Beat” pull out, that I put on my wall, was Tony Danza 😐

  45. I suppose he wouldn’t be too far off. Next time, bring Juanita with you. That’ll be a real conversation piece.

    Ellie Di recently posted Dayjob: The Disappointment of Dreams Deferred.

  46. …I don’t understand why he was at the Texas Book Festival. Did he come just to introduce you? Is he an author? I thought he was…an actor? Maybe? I’m going to stop now, I clearly need to spend some time googling stuff so I don’t sound so uniformed.

    (I really have no clue who he is though. I just thought I’d heard his name associated with a movie or something.)

    Amanda recently posted 31 Days Series: Day 28.

  47. BTW, you look gorgeous in this picture!

  48. Now you need a Pony Danza shirt or he’ll feel left out.

    Melissa recently posted A Not-So-Daily Encounter.

  49. Holy crap, you met Tony Danza!

    Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting recently posted 25 Halloween Recipe Ideas You Can’t Miss {+ Link Up}.

  50. …and by ‘uniformed’ I obviously meant ‘uninformed’.

    Amanda recently posted 31 Days Series: Day 28.

  51. Love it! And it definitely brightened my day.

  52. Hey, the Danz sounds like a cool guy.

  53. Tony Danza totally opened for you. You are a freaking NY Times best selling author. What has he done for us lately?

    Cindy Reed recently posted Get Out Your Lasso! It’s a Round-up!.

  54. I love you. You make me so happy. I want to hug you in a very not too creepy way.

    Also, unrelated, but I love your outfit. I heart that shirt and necklace.

  55. You look fabulous!

  56. So A) you look fantastic, and B) I was slightly disappointed when I clicked on the “new shirt” link, as I thought it might be a link to the darling top you have on in this photo. Hurrumph!

  57. Tony Danza is still alive?

    Bejewell recently posted How I Spent Three Hours Looking at Fake Vaginas.

  58. You look awesome! And I wish I could ride around in a golf cart with both you and Tony 🙂

    Peanutlayne recently posted What's the opposite of a soccer mom? ME! Post #4.

  59. I love Tony Danza. And he does say “Ah,” a lot in real life.

  60. I’d wear that shirt in a heartbeat. It’s my life-long dream.

    Mom Off Meth recently posted I'm still traveling.

  61. You look like you’ve lost a lot of weight and you look awesome! I’ve never seen you in jeans before… Jean magic maybe? Either way you look really awesome!

  62. That is a situation I often find myself in. Seriously. I have to stop myself from writing about all of the Tony Danza run-ins I have in the suburbs.

    tracey recently posted It's a chilly space to chat, but oh-so-clean!.

  63. You look terrific. Tony Danza is looking kind of scary-skinny.

    Pony Danza needs to be the newest My Little Pony.

  64. I have nothing to say about Tony Danza, I just have to say HOLY Frack you look fantastic!! Not that you looked awful before, just that you look even more amazing right now. I want to know your secret.

    Nah, that wasn’t too creepy, right? Ok.

    Charli recently posted Raising Charlie.

  65. You are such a rockstar!

  66. Look at it this way… He could’ve sat with someone who was boring and didn’t almost once get a dead pony and name it “Pony Danza”but he didn’t and I can’t imagine that the conversation ever once became dull or trite…

    Synnove @ Don't Chew On The Dinner Table! recently posted Oh my... the LANGUAGE!.

  67. You do look amazing! Very awesome photo.

  68. Lookin’ hot Jenny Lawson!

    Kelly@Sublurban Mama recently posted "Luke, if I'm your sister we are in trouble.".

  69. Laughed and snorted until I cried a little bit. I am SO glad I’m not the only one with “complete honesty syndrome”……which my sister accuses me of. When buying a pregnancy test at Wal-mart once I went into a complete description of how my husband had had a vasectomy, but if I WAS pregnant it would have been a failed vasectomy….I haven’t cheated, honest to god……until my sister finally whispered a vehement “SHUT UP” to me…..(test was negative…BTW)

  70. How much money would I have to pay to live your life for a week?

    Heretic Husband recently posted "A Year of Biblical Womanhood": A pre-review.

  71. To be fair, you kinda do have emotional issues AND you almost collected a dead pony. Then again, who says that’s a negative?

    Untypically Jia recently posted Sparklecon 2012 - Southwest Beauty Blogger Conference.

  72. Okay, personally, that is the coolest story ever and you have an awesome picture to go along with it!! 😀

  73. I kind of love that you turn weird shit like that into T-shirts for the rest of us.

    Now, as you were.

  74. looking good! you’re bringing up Tony’s brand.

    greatest blog title ever by the way, can’t get elton john out of my head now

    Christine from FLY FISH CHICK recently posted Like A Virgin But Not Quite.

  75. oh my god. i am so stressed out right now i can’t hardly stand it and this made me laugh so hard. tears streaming down my face. thank god for you Jenny, never change. we need you just the way you are….

  76. i don’t care if i’m still sexually attracted to tony danza even though he may be old enough to be my dad. i’m too lazy to google whether that’s true or not. you lucky freaking woman.

  77. Every time I start to get jealous of your truly amazing celeb encounters and literary love, I remind myself that the Universe has a WHOLE LOT to make up for with you, and that you are only receiving a modest portion of what you are truly due. So of COURSE you get to ride around in golf carts with Tony Danza. It’s only right. 😀

  78. Someday you’ll get that taxidermied pony, and since you and Tony Danza are bff now, you’ll be able to call him up and you can walk him around whilst riding Pony Danza and you can sing and the universe will explode with awesomness.

    Euphoria Girl recently posted Euphoria Girl Battles The Pink Robots.

  79. hilarious. and um, you look gorgeous.

    ann @ my life as prose. recently posted finding the private/public balance..

  80. 82
    Gregg Barnes

    From the picture, its awesome by the way, it doenst look like you scared him too badly.

  81. You and Tony Danza look great together.

    Kathleen recently posted Moon Like a Peach.

  82. Is it just me, or is Tony Danza still kinda hot in some strange and terrible way?

    NATurally Inappropriate recently posted I totally just had a conversation about buzzing vaginas.

  83. Oooh, I love that shirt you’re wearing! Where’d you get it?

  84. I thought your new t-shirt would read, “Hold me closer, Pony Danza” !
    Cute story for sure.
    What are you dressing up as for Halloween? Looking forward to seeing that especially after the recently posted cat costume.

    Theresa recently posted Highland Lakes Challenge.

  85. “Also, when Tony Danza was walking backstage I gave him one of those knowing waves that you give to people that says “Oh, hello again, person-that-I-totally-know-very-well” so he had to stop and say hi just in case he really knew me”

    “Tony: I would never think that about you.
    me: Well, you don’t know me very well.”

    Maybe you worked the first bit SO WELL he really DID think he knew you.
    You might’ve kinda undermined that with the last bit ;p

  86. Man, Tony is still hot…even as an old man!

    Bonnie Franks recently posted Windows User Evolution {Infographic}.

  87. Forget, Tony Danza… Jenny, you look amazingly great in that photo!

    Mary recently posted Yeah, about that phone I have….

  88. Since he didn’t run screaming from you after the Pony Danza comment, I’d say he’s cool with you.

    Courtney recently posted Because I can totally relate.

  89. If only you’d asked him to hold some twine. Or a lasso!

    That would be awesome. Now you have to meet him again so he can pose with a lasso.

    Em recently posted Thoughts With the East Coast.

  90. I have to know what it is he’s holding in his hand…
    Also, you’re wearing jeans!!! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of you on here in jeans before.

    Sarah recently posted We’re Not Going to Count this as My Official 300th Post….

  91. Either way, you made quite the impression on him! And may I say you look HAWT in that photo?

    hilljean recently posted For First Time Ever This Week.

  92. Danza has worked in Hollywood for decades and he before that he was a boxer; nothing you did could ever compare with those freak shows!

  93. 95
    Lady Penelope

    Ha … Looks like Tony Danza is holding a gun. Well I guess he *IS* in Texas afterall. Carry on.

  94. You are TOOOOOO funny, Jenny. Love the golfcart bit – I could do that, just toss my bodywork table in the back and awaaaay we go. Keep the faith!

  95. You look incredibly happy and when I read the Tony Danza quotes, I totally heard them in his voice.

    Mary recently posted Vinum Cellars California Petite Sirah.

  96. 98
    stephanie (badmom)

    Twelve-year-old Me is crying in the junior high bathroom over this; you are SO lucky. Do you think Tony Danza would substitute teach for me someday? So 44-year-old me could go cry in the bathroom…

    stephanie (badmom) recently posted frivolity.

  97. A) Hilarious. B) You are looking extra awesome in this pic!

  98. You’re wearing jeans! Good for you!

  99. Weird, just watched Almost Famous today and was singing along to the Tiny Dancer section. We are simpatico 😀

    Ginger Blog Man recently posted Reusing Last Years Halloween Costume....

  100. This cracked me up! Since the first person commented about your top, I’m going comment on your jeans. I’m always in the market for jeans, where’d you get them?

  101. It does look like perhaps he’s ready to inflict a blunt trauma to your head if you got that “SINCE I DON’T HAVE A DEAD PONY DANZA CORPSE, I’M JUST GONNA HAVE THE REAL THING” look in your eye…

    Either way…props for slightly freaking out Tony Danza, my little peach cobbler.

    Carm recently posted Hello? Yes, I’d like to sell my kidney so my kid can get braces, please..

  102. Take Back Halloween has a kickstarter and if one of us has $500 we can make them design a Jenny The Bloggess costume!

    I’m not sure which I’d want: Jenny The Bloggess in hair rollers or brushing her teeth with hair in a towel wearing a cat or hugging a sloth or clutching xanex and hiding in bathroom.

    Do you have a favorite? Do you have $500?

  103. Fuck yeah Jenny!

  104. ??My Little Tony, My Little Tony, My Little Tony Tale????
    I saw both you and Tony Saturday. Your reading was hysterical! I had to pass on the great advice – pretend you’re great at it!

  105. I’m a little disappointed, was so hoping the T-shirt read: Hold Me Close Pony Danza.
    Now that I would have invested in. Steal the idea, Jenny. Because I adore you!
    Love, your friend, Laurie F. in NY who is shivering in hysteria about the storm

    Laurie F. recently posted Free Writing Friday: Kellie Elmore: Abandoned.

  106. hey those were supposed to be music notes ~ wahh

  107. “Well, you don’t know me very well.” – zing! Great work, and as four thousand other people have already said, you’re looking fantastic.

    Alverdine recently posted What's your dream?.

  108. My life will never, EVER be this exciting. Ever.

    Stephanie recently posted An Open Letter to People Who Write Online Reviews.

  109. very very cool!!

    Tamara Tipton recently posted Saturday fun, thinking outside the box!.

  110. I like Tony Danza.
    He always seems like the friendly guy down the street. Even when I saw him on the Today show a couple weeks ago. I still thought that.
    He became a teacher and taught high school for a year. That’s what his book is about.
    It’s awesome that you guys hung out together.
    And now you both have a great story to tell about the weekend.

    Brook recently posted Stuff About the Place.

  111. You are frequently the eye of your very own Frankenstorm of wacky. If it is awkward for you, I am very sorry for that, but the results are undeniably entertaining.

  112. OMG! You showed the guy from Who’s The Boss WHO’S BOSS!
    (Because let’s face it. Even if you did randomly follow him it’s not like anyone can prove it.)

    bschooled recently posted Billboard’s Greatest(ish) Hits.

  113. LOL, now I’m going to have tiny dancer stuck in my head the rest of the day… THANKS!

    Dana @ This Silly Girl's Life recently posted How To: Meat Sauce.

  114. Phew, I was starting to worry about you after all those recent cat posts, but I see your looking great. Pony Danza, now that is going to be stuck in my head all day.

  115. That’s awesome. We share the same socially awkward tendency toward inappropriate conversations when meeting new people. I crack jokes about suffocating children. Yeesh.

    yetisaurus recently posted How to Make New Friends...Feel Awkward.

  116. It’s funny how often talking about dead things makes people uncomfortable. I say it’s all zombie-apocalypse-preparedness.

    Dana the Biped recently posted It's Only a Matter of Time.

  117. 119

    completely, totally, utterly DAID of envy.

  118. That is hilarious. I was just singing that to some friends the other day. You know, if you’re going to come off as unstable to anyone, I’d recommend trying out one of the Sheens.

    Kera - Dreadnaught Darling recently posted New Products For Fall 2012!.

  119. Your blog is totally like The Secret..and whatever you write in there winds out coming true. You should write your next ten entries about there being like seven more Twilight movies and how scientists will one day soon discover that unicorn still exists.

  120. You’re lookin’ good! Have you lost weight?

  121. Loving the expression on Tony Danza’s face. He’s like… Dead pony? A hundred years? Riiiight. Should I run now or wait for the flash to go off?

    Andrea Mulder-Slater recently posted I didn't take a babymoon. You're welcome..

  122. Literally spit tea at the computer screen! Leave it to you to talk to Tony Danza about dead ponies. Love it!

    Sara recently posted Sins of the Mother.

  123. 125

    There are not words for how much I adorable you.
    Hold me close oh Pony Danza has entirely made my day.

  124. Well, if he didn’t know who you were before he CERTAINLY does NOW. I’ll bet he went straight to his iPhone and Googled you after the whole Pony Danza exchange.

    Nikki Mohamed recently posted 18 Years Ago Today.

  125. is he holding a taser? or a paper gun? or a nerf gun? because it kinda looks like he is. i love the t-shirt. i thought it would say, “hold me closer tony danza.” which i also love and is just fucking hilarious. and you look awesome!

    monica recently posted NoGoEvNevWritMoinNo, Ho..

  126. This made me laugh so hard that it scared my birds.

    Katie M recently posted More Internet Body Rudeness.

  127. Is that a Tazer in his hand? Because he looks alarmed.

  128. Why is Tony Danza not getting older? Shouldn’t he be like 100 by now? YOU look amazing – which is quite impressive since Mr. Danza is a wax figure who never ages. Kudos!!!

    Stella recently posted Take me to your leader.

  129. I now can’t stop singing Hold me closer tony danza, and when my husband asks why, I keep trying to come up with a good lie because I was supposed to be doing work not reading blogs so i can’t say really why I have it in my head!

    Kelly @ In the mom Light recently posted Weathering Frakenstorm to Say Goodbye to Grandma.

  130. I’ll ask the burning question on everyone’s mind: who was driving?

  131. You look beautiful Jenny!!

  132. “I would never think that about you.” That’s the best story ever.

    Mia recently posted It's the End of the World as We Know It.

  133. This has nothing to do with Tony Danza (although Phoebe on Friends once made a great joke about that “wonderful Elton John song, you know, Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza“—which also has nothing whatsoever to do with this). . .

    but I thought you should know that Joss Whedon has just come out endorsing Romney as most like to bring on the zombie apocalypse:

    “The 1% won’t be the very rich. It’ll be the very fast.”

    Victoria Mixon recently posted Dancing Dragons: 1 of the 6 Essentials for a Writer’s Perfect Weekend.

  134. So, since we’re on the topic of dead things and Tony Danza and songs involving his name…. I’m hoping you’ve had a chance to read Hold Me Closer, Necromancer by Lish McBride? It’s very, very funny. Her follow-up just came out: Necromancing the Stone.

    so good.

  135. Also it turns out there wasn’t any more to that Phoebe joke than the one you already made.

    As I’m sure is very clear, I spend my entire life extremely behind the times.

    Victoria Mixon recently posted Dancing Dragons: 1 of the 6 Essentials for a Writer’s Perfect Weekend.

  136. Who’s the boss now, Tony Danza? Who’s the boss now.

    Rhana @ Dumb {Squared} recently posted I'd take credit for Joss Whedon if I could.

  137. Omg!! I love that t-shirt!

    Heather recently posted The Story of H Continued….

  138. I have to wonder if there’s a point where you’re so famous that the weird stories people tell you don’t even register anymore. I think that might be a thing. So on the plus side, he might not have even remembered what you said by the time you got to the golf carts. 🙂

  139. “Sad news. I met an unstable lady today with a penchant for collecting dead equines.”- Tony’s opening Monologue.

    Too bad his show got cancelled.

    Veronica recently posted One (more) Weird Thing About Me.

  140. You were Danza Dazzled. At least you weren’t at a loss for words and he’ll remember you.
    Sounds like fun times!

    Susie Lindau (@SusieLindau) recently posted Cara Mia, It’s Halloween!.

  141. Glad to see I’m not the only one who sings the line as “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.”

    Sarah recently posted Chicken and Couscous.

  142. You look so lovely Jenny and Tony Danza is none too shabby either!

  143. No to be all superficial, but you look so cute! I love your hair, your outfit and your necklace- the whole look is casual fierce. Also, have you lost weight? You look great.

    Girl to Mom- Heidi recently posted Mother of the Year 2012.

  144. This looks well worth the humiliation.

    the muskrat recently posted philadelphia.

  145. I wish he would vacuum my curtains… oh wait. That sounded wrong.
    Oh, fuck it. You led off with a line about a dead pony and he still decided to get into the confines of a moving “vehicle” with you.

    Johi recently posted Conversations with children.

  146. Jenny you look gorgeous!

  147. This is just to say that you look really pretty.

    Sara Plays House recently posted Letter To My Daughter.

  148. LAUGHING LAUGHING LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And golf carts are awesome and for some reason give a person a lot of power at events and things… people lift up ropes for you if you’re in one. So, although I would LOVE to ride around in one with you for hours because you’re hysterical – I’m sad to say, that he might just be running low on Charles In Charge fumes and have been using you for the whole golf cart thing… but you never know. 😉 I’m guessing that’s not right… you know, Charles In Charge will last forever… and you’re awesome

  149. It probably takes a lot more than a few dead ponies and golf carts to freak out Tony Danza. I wouldn’t fret.

  150. He’s wearing a Texas t-shirt. As if I needed another reason to be a fan.

  151. Many others have already said you look fantastic but can you really hear that too much? I think not. You look FANTASTIC Jenny!

  152. You look FABULOUS!!!!!! Oh Tony does too. Hugs!

  153. You need to send him a shirt that say “I opened for The Bloggess.” I bet he would wear it EVERYWHERE.

    Becky recently posted WiW: Week 99.

  154. Do you think he recalls the line from “Friends”? I would TOTALLY sing that song to him, if I ever met him. And could sing.

  155. Has anyone else said how great you look? Well, you look great!

  156. You look too skinny!! Stop it!!

  157. Gorgeous photo Jenny!

    Teri H. recently posted Mutt Metaphor Monday #15.

  158. Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head, the real one, no the “Friends” version, no the real one… it all gets jumbled inside my head in a kinda sorta weird way. I bet Tony has heard way weirder stuff-I doubt it freaked him out… 😉 Congrats on hanging out with Tony. The song is still in my head…

    The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently posted Anxiety and Finicky Appliances Don’t Mix: Why Refrigerator College Isn’t for Me.

  159. The look on his face says, “OHMYGOSH, this woman might just eat me alive.”

    Brenna recently posted Philosophizing.

  160. You look amazing! And I think this was probably the best conversation Tony Danza has ever had with a stranger, he’ll remember it always.

    And, are you really tall, or is Tony danza shorter than I’d imagined?

  161. You look fantastic! (And Tony’s looking pretty good, too.)

  162. Is that your book he is holding? Hope so, might explain where you are coming from a bit better 😉

  163. You (and Tony) look (and are) awesome.

  164. I love him! Saw him on ‘The Talk’ the other day and didn’t realise he’s now a teacher. Just hearing his enthusiasm for it got me out of my wtf-am-I-doing-with-my-life rut and into going back to college to study teaching.

    True story.
    I owe Tony Danza a Copernicus-hold for that light-bulb.

  165. You look amazing! And I’m sure that Tony Danza has had weirder things said to him…not many, but surely there are stranger people in the world…I tell myself that, because I’m a little off, too, so I want to believe that there are stranger people than me in this world.

    Laura recently posted Carry On.

  166. a bit off topic but what necklace are you wearing? it looks intriguing but can’t see it clearly and realized that I was staring too intently on your boobs and confusing my hubby. sorry about that, to both of you. just curious.

    (Thanks! It’s from Sandradan Jewelry: http://www.etsy.com/shop/sandrandan ~ Jenny)

  167. Yeah, Tony Danza! That’s awesome!

    Jen recently posted Am I dreaming? Decent dog food at the grocery store?.

  168. that echos conversations i have had all too closely. oops i left out the really important detail that made that seem not weird, oh wait its totally weird and maybe creepy, whyd i open my mouth kind of one sided conversations. AWKWARD! like when you thought it couldnt get much more awkward than junior highschool was kind of awkward. you are AWESOME!! thanks for being you 🙂

  169. Wow. Tony got old! It’s hard to picture him old. 🙁

    I think it’s really awesome that you combined three different medias into one awesome new song. That takes talent, girl, and even if you have talent, it can take you forever to get done!

    Echos recently posted Censorship.

  170. After that conversation, I’m guessing Tony really likes riding around on golf carts.

    Of course, who doesn’t?

    Cheryl D. recently posted Life Is Weird.

  171. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be a little crazy and misunderstood as long as you LOOK good. And you do look good.

    He wouldn’t know what to do with a dead pony anyway.

    Lynne Thomas recently posted And I didn’t even get a sucker….

  172. OK, so your life is officially ridiculous. I love it.

    Kez recently posted 1 year of parenting. What I didn’t expect..

  173. Tony looks REALLY worried… which… for some reason… makes me laugh… a lot… I suspect the wine…

    Janet NZ recently posted Help.

  174. You are looking stunning Jenny!

    Vivian recently posted Sunshine After.

  175. Tony D ain’t chopped liver in this photo, but you, girl, are looking FANTASTIC! And awkward– not so much. I went through a short odd but appropriate (at least in my mind) gifts-for-celebs phase. Watching them accept gracefully was a strong lesson in how to be a genuinely nice person.

  176. Delicious dead pony humour

  177. Such a gorgeous post from such a wonderful lady. You look very happy Jenny. It sounds like it was a great adventure.

    Trisha recently posted Things I love about South Africa.

  178. 180
    cupcake pajama party

    I just wanted to say, Jenny you are quite beautiful. You glow from the inside.

    Nope, not gay, married for 16 years. And I’m hormonal. All. The. Fricking. Time.

  179. Yes, he obviously doesn’t know you very well. Poor Tony. And I think he should be very flattered to hear something like that…right? Wanting dead ponies in his honour is good isn’t it?

    And even if it turns out he’s weird and likes riding around with emotionally unstable people on golf carts, doesn’t that make you guys cool anyway? Because he must admire your emotional instability and its hilarity?

    Klementine recently posted What about them? They like dead bodies and drugs!.

  180. I’m sure you just became someone he’s going to tell stories about when he goes on late night talk shows.

    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted I think my country is trying to kill me....

  181. I can think of nothing better than riding around in golf carts with emotionally unstable women.

    Wait, that sounds wrong… :/

    Sam recently posted nablopomo?.

  182. Tony Danza is so cool. I’m sure he totally connected with you on a deep non-taxidermed level.

    Lady Jennie recently posted Mushroom Soup for the Soul.

  183. I am constantly amazed at the “only you” moments you trip and fall into. You really do set the bar awfully high for the rest of us weirdo’s…*grin*

    Chris Dean recently posted My What-The-Fudge-I-Tude Knows No Bounds.

  184. “Count the head lice on the hiiiiiiigh-waaaaaaaaaay… ”

    Delighted to hear that you didn’t spend the Book Fair in the restroom, AND that you apparently went to the Con as well.

  185. You look FABULOUS, by the way! I have a feeling if Tony had a nickel for all the times he hears that, he would totally have 5 cents! 😉

    thedoseofreality recently posted Top 10 Firsts…Just the Way We Remember Them.

  186. Hope you had a great time at the Texas Book Festival. My husband was there some years ago with a book of his (yeah we’re two writers married to each other – exactly as good & bad as it sounds) and said it was pretty fabulous. I, of course, was home in NY with the kids & envious.

    Great photo by the way, you look radiant & Tony Danza only looks a little bit scared of you.

    Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted There but for fortune.

  187. Totally going to have that tune stuck in my head now with the new words… The photo is awesome! You are getting to do some really fun things, that is so cool.

  188. this is my second comment on this post, so please don’t think i am stalking you….wait….i AM stalking you…wait…did i just type that? have you seen this? it’s so awesome and i just thought you would think it was hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TiXUF9xbTo

    monica recently posted NoGoEvNevWritMoinNo, Ho..

  189. You look awesome, Jenny! Was Victor a bit jealous that you were with Tony Danza?

  190. Dead Pony Corpse is the name of my new band. Or my book. Or dinner.

    Lorca Damon recently posted I Never Got to Be a Slutty Nurse for Halloween.

  191. That Tony was willing to ride in a golf cart with you after that conversation shows he either totally understood you, or was very brave.

    I, too, would like to know what he is holding in his hand in the photo. A weapon to defend himself?

    Sue recently posted DIY window sills.

  192. glad you had a good time! and you DO look all sorts of skinny- and you look fantabulous! And if Tony Danza was your opening act he should’ve done internet research and it’s quite possible he already found out about Pony Danza after he googled his name and the link to the blog post came up.

    Erica B recently posted battening down the hatches!.

  193. High-five on the Tony Danza story. But, more importantly, you look great in that outfit. Just saying.

    Kim Kircher recently posted Am I The Only One With Storm Envy?.

  194. “…really just likes riding around on golf carts with emotionally unstable women.”

    Don’t we all?

  195. Oh yeah baby! One of the best Friends episodes. Phoebe would be jealous. And she probably would have also talked about something strange and scary upon meeting Tony Danza, albeit possibly less strange than dead ponies. . .

    Melanie recently posted I'll Huff, and I'll Puff, and I'll. . ..

  196. This is the kind of random happenstance that only happens to the coolest people. also I feel really compelled to tell you that you look gorgeous in that picture.

    Kp recently posted Hi-Ate-Us..

  197. Oh. My. Gawd. Tony Danza. Golf carts. There’s a joke in here somewhere about showing him the 9th hole or something, but that’s better left unsaid, I guess. I love Tony Danza. He’s up there with John Schneider in terms of posters I had in my pink bedroom growing up in Texas. 🙂

    Kathy Lynn Harris recently posted Official Ebook Release Day for A Good Kind of Knowing.

  198. I dont even know where to begin…

  199. He is so freakin hot…I know that’s weird. Totally jealous!

    Renia Carsillo recently posted The life of a salesman. Why common courtesy has everything to do with it.

  200. Well, can’t say you never had an interesting conversation with Tony Danza…

    I bet he will now start a blog about “riding around on golf carts with emotionally unstable women” that will reinvigorate his career..

    gotta luv the internet!!

    TheFeelGoodDepot recently posted The Tomb Of the Unknown Soldier – IS ALWAYS MANNED.

  201. I really need to share your blog with my husband. He thinks I’m insanely random and there is no one else who could EVER see things the way I do…….so you see………

  202. You look FABULOUS! And so does Tony. What a great pic! And a hysterically funny story! I love living vicariously through your awkward conversations.

  203. I think everyone who has commented on this post agrees that you not only look fantastic, but your shirt is ultra rad.

    NATurally Inappropriate recently posted Snopes. Check it, fuckers..

  204. LOL

    You have a way with people and making first impressions.

    Crystal recently posted How to Verify Your GoDaddy-Hosted Website on Pinterest.

  205. I adore you… I often imagine what it would be like to actually have a conversation with you.. how entertaing THAT would be 🙂

  206. Tony Danza has this look on his face like : I can’t see one of her hands, where is her other hand???

  207. So that’s the key, huh? Just act like you already know them? I guess they meet so many people they lose track. Noted. Look out Colin Farrell.

    Also? You look fabulous. Oh, I see someone already said that. Because it’s TRUE, that’s why.

    Megan recently posted Fifty-Two, Week 13: I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, But I’m On My Way.

  208. 210
    Erin Sterling

    Emotionally unstable women ROCK! And I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Barats and Beretta, but they got Mr. Danza to sing “Hold me Closer” — very funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgPjnTCZNu4&feature=plcp

  209. I think you always look beautiful but you are exceptionally beautiful in this pic. Also, you are like me, you analyze everything you say after the conversation and then wonder what the other person thinks. I’m pretty sure most people think I’m loopy…..I’m ok with this. 🙂

    pam recently posted The true religion......just kidding - really, I'm kidding.

  210. You look radiant in this picture. I hope it’s all real-radiant and you are feeling all-around spectacular.

  211. Dude, you look fantastic! And Tony Danza is totally starstruck!

  212. Love! Love! Love! One read made me a huge fan! I will be back. I am sure you have been waiting your whole life for me to become a fan!

    Jodie Cain Smith recently posted Thoughts on a Plane: Proposed Social Contract for Air Travel.

  213. Wow! And I thought I had foot-in-mouth problems. When I met a famous news anchor once, I said “Oh my god, you are so short!” (he was like 4’10” with lifts in his shoes.) And then, because my FIM disorder is chronic I added on “which is so tragic, because your even your voice sounds tall.” I agree – blouse is lovely.

    Tracey L Croisier recently posted Just 4 Fun.

  214. A possible Christmas gift idea to send him (just trying to be helpful…):

  215. 217
    Doug Richardson

    What is that in the hand that is not grabbing you? You were probably in danger and didn’t even know it…good thing that photographer showed up.

  216. I am positive this is the first time I’ve ever read Tony Danza and dead horse in the same sentence. Comic gold!

  217. I was looking over the internet and found this: http://theworstthingsforsale.com.

    You’ve probably already seen it but I thought you’d appreciate it. I was disappointed that everything seemed fairly normal. Of course, then I got to the inflatable unicorn horn for cats and the gigantic inflatable penis costume, but that’s still kind of within the bounds of normal. So far, they haven’t featured anything even slightly like Pony Danza. I are disappoint.

    Joely recently posted Filed under: Thanks, Internet, I cannot unsee that..

  218. That man has aged incredibly well.

    jennielynn recently posted Make Your Band’s Site Sing.

  219. You make Tony Danza look good.
    I’ve always wanted to ride in a golf cart with Tony Danza.

    Anne (@notasupermom) recently posted It’s Time for Operation Christmas Child!.

  220. You look so healthy and beautiful! Yay!

  221. Looking good kid.

    Susan Hogan recently posted Hope you haven't been blown away!.

  222. Okay, that shirt, is seriously cute! Also, I probably would have said something much worse than that and then run away when I saw him next so I never would have been able to straighten things out. You know, if security didn’t escort me out of the building while I was talking to him.

    Rachel recently posted Happy Halloween: Part One.

  223. I hope you also said something like, “So, are you speaking first or am I? Who’s in charge here? Or, I guess what I’m trying to ask is… Who’s The Boss?”

    When I Blink recently posted Random Penguins.

  224. You are looking beautiful. Clearly book festivals agree with you.

  225. awwww – Love Tony Danza. Who’s The Boss was a favorite show when I was a kid.

    Deb M recently posted To Be Honest Or Not To Be Honest: That Is The Question.

  226. Who’s the boss? Jenny’s the boss!

    Btw, looking beautiful in that pic! Love that shirt!

  227. He isn’t even giving you the, take the photo with the crazy lady before she dons the tinfoil hat and then eats you look. I would have got thay look. And then crashed the golf cart cause that’s how I roll, having been kicked off the course the two times I have gone. Glad you are awesome enough to not get kicked out and to meet cool celebrities! You rock!

    opinion8dhermit aka g davies recently posted It Will Be Alright.

  228. Haha I love his monosyllabic responses, until he needs to reassure you that he doesn’t think you’re a commissioner of horse-hits.


    Kristen Mae recently posted ADHD and Me, Part One.

  229. That’s outstanding. Lucky Tony Danza! I see a taxidermied something-or-other with his name on it in your future. Maybe he’ll even send you a pony!

    Julie recently posted Halloween 2012.

  230. Did you get skinnier? You look thin. You need cupcakes. Maybe it’s just perspective, like you’re being dwarfed by the Danza. He needs cupcakes too.

  231. Hs looks different…

  232. He looks good for a guy who was teaching in an inner city school….no overt scars running down one cheek. Still, I have to say YOU look better than him. No. Really. You do.

    Too bad you didn’t have a ball of twine, or a stapler, or some random piece of desk equipment handy. I’m sure he would’ve held it for you….unlike Nathan What’s-His-Name who’s just a self-absorbed stick in the mud.

    I’m just sayin’……..

    The Wifely Person recently posted Scariest Day: Halloween or Election Day.

  233. Wow, Jenny, you’re looking pretty hot in that pic. I’ve clearly been missing a Tony Danza in every photograph I’ve ever been in.

    Julie the Wife recently posted Rolling in the Dough.

  234. He drove you around because he just wanted to show you who’s the boss.

    Amy (KidFreeLiving) recently posted Petty Goals.

  235. Bwahahaha @ Amy …’who’s the boss’. Lulz.

    NATurally Inappropriate recently posted Snopes. Check it, fuckers..

  236. Yes, you do look like you have been working out/lost weight/something!!! Lookin’ good!

  237. http://www.etsy.com/listing/113258180/taxidermy-peeking-mouse-necklace

    1) This is not spam. This is a legitimate comment. 2) I guess that sounds like something really clever spam would say. 3) This really isn’t spam. 4) I don’t know what you want me to do to prove it, JESUS CHRIST I AM A HUMAN POSTING A COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG, JENNY. I’VE READ YOUR BOOK AND EVERYTHING. 4)<—I put four again on purpose because I'm pretty sure a spam designer wouldn't do that. 5 or 6) Just please click on the link because I'm a dedicated reader who found something I think you desperately need. 7) I apologize to Victor in advance. 8) Thank you for being so wonderful, by the by. 9) Especially about all the depression related issues, it really means a lot to me and I'm sure countless others to have such a witty, wonderful person raising awareness and becoming a proponent for tolerance both from the outside world and of and/or for our anxiety-ridden selves. 10) THIS IS NOT SPAM. 11) But if it was, wouldn't it be the best spam ever? 'Cause there's no way you're not clicking on the link now. 12) Go ahead, click it. I'm done now, I promise.

  238. It made my eight a smiling face wearing sunglasses, GODDAMNIT.

    Devon recently posted Well, I Know What I'm Reading After Graduation!.

  239. On a totally related stalker-esque note, I am currently sewing a quilt featuring a pixellated version of Tony Danza’s face and the words “You’re the Boss.” If all goes according to plan, I’ll show it to him at the Atlanta Book Festival and he’ll agree to autograph it, at which point I will fall on the ground in paroxysms of nerdiness.

    You’re welcome.

  240. I love reading your posts, they seriously make me laugh almost everyday. (Hopefully in the golf cart you were able to clarify the whole taxidermy thing.)

    Elaine Schoch recently posted Boo! Haunted Travel Destinations.

  241. My God, I love you people. I have actually lost 27 pounds in the last three months through a combination of slim fast and mental illness.

    PS. The tiger came from target and was $10.

    Jenny the bloggess recently posted Hold me closer, Tony Danza.

  242. I just finished your book. I read it at the gym, and kept getting funny looks every time it made me burst out loud laughing. Can’t wait to keep following your blog.

  243. You make a cute couple. Keep in mind should something happen to Victor.

    Karen Sanders recently posted One Track Mind Full of Randomness.

  244. I met comic book artist and escapist S. Von Gorman over the weekend, and, like you, I’m quite sure my word vomit made me look like a complete and totally psycho in front of him. (I even yelled “If you’re looking for the rabbit, it’s dead!” at him. I kick ass.

  245. You look FANTASTIC!

  246. Well, you don’t know me very well.

    Best line ever.

    Sharon Wachsler recently posted The "Too Smart" Service Dog.

  247. Fantastic! Thanks for reminding me about Pony Danza. Still laughing!

    Meg recently posted Boog-o-ween.

  248. How have I missed so many of your posts lately? :/ I’m disappointed in myself.

    keaven neely recently posted Buried Alive.

  249. It so great to hear you this weekend in Austin and attend your book signing. You are such a sweetie! And having Copernicus in attendance was treat, totally bragged about it at work.

  250. Muhaha – I bet you haven’t been the only one making that “Hold me closer Tony Danza” reference, but you probably were the only one to freak him out with a dead pony named after him! 😉 But something like that could totally happen to me, I have a serious case of “Mouth operates faster than brain” too =)

    Anja recently posted Random Thursday: 5 Must Read Blogs.

  251. Is it just me or does Tony Danza look kind of “Oh My God who is this person?!?” nervous? Yeah, I’m sure it’s just me. Clearly, it’s just me.

    Becky (Ms Batman) recently posted What Am I For Halloween? Apparently a Mad Scientist. Or Martha Stewart..

  252. 254
    Kathy Young

    Great. “Hold me closer Pony Danza” has now been running in a loop through my brain for 3 days.

  253. Awwwwww My 3 year old saw me reading your blog and said you’re pretty =)

    Keep lookin’ good Bloggess!

  254. Hahaha, this is hilarious.

  255. 257
    Kristin Ross

    You look fantastic!

  256. I bet no one in the history of writing ever thought they would write that sentence. But I’m glad it was written because it’s perfect!

    Tara recently posted No positive spin necessary!.

  257. Congrats on the book signing! Golf carts and Tony Danza? Life win.

    Creative Liar recently posted Only the Lonely.

  258. Just wanted to say how awesome it is that you got to meet the real life Tony Danza – and you look great!!!

  259. Oh Wow I am so jealous of you right now it’s not even funny. I love Tony Danza, I might just have to photoshop myself into that photo.

    Tahnya Kristina recently posted The Best Scary Movies of All Time.

  260. #1) You look fanfuckingtastic. And happy! But how could you not be happy standing next to Tony Danza?

    B) Did you ask him who the boss is? For some reason I feel like I wouldn’t be able to help myself; even if it got me punched i’m the junk.

    Jeneral Insanity recently posted Insomnia and German Gnome Porn: A night with The Jeneral.

  261. I laughed so hard at this post I was doubled over choking.

  262. Thanks for making me laugh out loud in the middle of the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport and loose all my street cred. Oh wait… My Star Wars t-shirt probably took care of that already. Oh well, thanks for making me laugh. 🙂

    Anna recently posted Perspective.

  263. I think even Tony Danza enjoys a good “Hold me Closer” joke. Case in point…. hysterical….

    Colleen recently posted Grace in Small Things 154.

  264. 266
    Evalynn Rose

    I laughed so much I drooled. Good post.

  265. 267

    Well, this is upsetting. I tried to order the shirt, and Zazzle won’t sell it because it infringes on TD’s alleged celebrity. Balls to you, Zazzle. Balls to you.

  266. My mouth actually dropped open in astonishment at this post – only moments before I laughed until I cried of course. I so want to know what Tony Danza told people about that encounter.

  267. This is totally random, but your title “Hold me Closer, Tony Danza” Is that from the book… “Hold me Closer, Necromancer”? Cause that was an awesome book! And you should read it… If you haven’t already 🙂

  268. Interestingly, replacing Tony Danza with Matt LeBlanc in the conversation works just as well. the pun names do fail. Sometimes compromise is necessary.

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