I think most cats technically already have great mustaches, but you just can’t tell because we don’t shave the rest of their bodies, and I think that’s probably very sad for them because they can’t show off their dapper kitty facial hair.
Or at least, that was the reason that I gave Victor when he asked me why I kept trying to stick a fake mustache on Hunter S. Thomcat.
PS. This is unrelated but I thought I’d share. You know when websites use algorithms to figure out what you’d be most likely buy and then they put those recommendations on your front page? Yeah. So this is what Amazon personally suggested I’d want today:
What they said:
“Get Yourself a Little Something”
What they’re really saying:
“Hey! CHECK OUT THIS straight jacket! Buy some lizard feet! Treat yourself, ya FREAKY lunatic!”
And I think the most insulting thing here is that I actually am interested in all of those things and now I can’t stop thinking about how nice it would be to wear those Lizard Feet while I’m writing, but I can’t even have them because I’m allergic to latex. So now I feel bad for wanting them and also bad because it’s like Amazon is taunting me on purpose.
Also, when I went to look at the lizard feet Amazon told me that if I liked those feet then I’d totally want this shirt.
And they were right. The bastards.