Tag Archives: Jenny Lawson

International Incidents

My first book just got released in Polish, and I haven’t seen it in real life but the cover looks sort of baffling and also adorable.

Polish let's pretend this never happened

I don’t speak Polish so I did a quick auto-translation to see what they’re actually saying about the book:

LET US MAKE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS NOT usually TRUE
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Jenny Lawson,  PRIME MINISTER 27 AUGUST 2014

Hot Barbara and Wanda Gadomskie:
Jenny Lawson comes from killed desk holes in Texas. She grew up amidst a house of sensational eccentrics, insulated by asbestos. Her father – Feelin’ hairy giant  who looks like a dangerous version of ZACHA Galifianakisa – loved animals, but outside the right across … hunts and he taxidermies them. Mama was in turn a hot advocate of literate interpretation of the maxim: “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, which could not remain without influence on psychology of the heroine and her emotional life, especially as a child that already suffers from anxiety and depression. Jenny decided to tell their story and not wrapped in cotton. Through her sense of humor, millions of people doubted their own common sense, breaking my head, for example, on the author’s mad theory that Jesus really was a zombie.

I just read this to Victor and he was like, “That sounds like a better book than the one you wrote” and I’ll admit, it sounds intriguing.  The most fascinating part is that according to the title I think I’m going to be crowned the new Polish Prime Minister on August 27th.  I’m not sure it lasts longer than that one day so if you want any Polish laws, commandments or wishes passed then please leave them in the comments and I’ll approve all of them by waving the scepter I got when I became a Czar.  I assume it works internationally.  Also, I think this makes me a foreign diplomat and unarrestable on that day so I’m saving up all of my arson for then.  Don’t piss me off on August the 26th or you’ll be fucked.

PS. I just got a few copies of the Turkish version of my book in the mail and I’m giving a signed copy away if you want it.  Just leave me a comment and I’ll pick one.  Or if you prefer I’ll give you an English version.  Or I’ll pass a Polish proclamation that Saturday will henceforth be known as “YOUR-NAME-HEREday” and free cheeses will be available to all.  Up to you, really.

That's supposed to be me on the cover.  It's not really the most flattering position.

That’s supposed to be me on the cover. It’s not really the most flattering position.