So I kept telling Victor I wanted a mac because all the cool people have one and he’s all “You HATE change. Stick with your PC that I built out of Pterodactyls because that’s how long ago it was. PC’s are awesome if you are a Republican.” But then my friend Laura was all “Basically Macs are for dumb people who like shiny things” and I’m all “Holy shit, that’s totally me” and Victor was all “I’m just not sure this is right for you” and I’m like “Dude, I totally know what I’m doing here so stop questioning me”. So yesterday Victor got me a mac and installed it for me and now I’m all “WTF?” because first off all, there’s no CPU. It’s just a giant monitor and no tower thingy and I’m all “Where’s the tower?” and Victor’s like “It doesn’t have one” and I’m all “No seriously, where is it?” and Victor’s like “I thought you said you read up about these things?” and I’m all “I READ THAT IT WAS SHINY!” and then Victor was all “Huh?” and I’m like “I heard that it was shiny?” and then he walked off. So basically it runs on magic. Which seems fine except before when my PC would break I would just blow on the tower and keep turning it off and on until it fixed itself except it usually wouldn’t and I’d have to ask Victor to fix it and he’d get all huffy and I’d be all “Well I’ve been working on it for hours” and now how am I supposed to pretend that I tried everything when all there is a monitor and a keyboard and also the keyboard is so tiny that I think it’s missing letters.
Also I started surfing and I kept trying to right-click and it wouldn’t let me and I’m all “VICTOR THIS MOUSE IS BROKEN” and he’s like “There’s isn’t a right-click button. Macs are different” and then I stopped breathing for a little bit. Also there is no “print screen” button and instead there’s a button to make the sun brighter and another one to set cruise control, apparently. I could be wrong about these because I’m afraid to touch anything at this point. I even had a whole Nancy W. Kappes post for you today except it’s in my email and I have to be able to copy and I can’t do that because I can’t right -click and THIS FUCKING COMPUTER IS TRYING TO DESTROY ME. In fact, the only thing I’ve accomplished all day long is that there’s a camera on the computer that’s kind of awesome and I used it to give myself three boobs like in that movie that had the lady with three boobs. I can’t remember the name of it and I would google it but I can’t figure out how to open another window without losing this post but I’m pretty sure it was called “The Color Purple”.
So, yeah. Mission accomplished.
Comment of the day: The joy of that photo is that it is all things to all people. If you want to see three boobs, they’re there. If you want to see a massive Cleavage Canyon, your wish is granted. But once you see one it becomes impossible to see the other, unless you blur your eyes and stare for awhile, but then your colleagues come up and they’re all, WHAT’S WITH THE THE THREE TITS? and you have to explain that all you see is a cleavage canyon, and you’re reminded how hard it is to connect with others, and you sink into an existential malaise. Perhaps it’s best not to look at the photo.~ Dropkickjeffy