I just found this in my pantry: I can’t keep a houseplant alive to save my life but I can make my sweet potatoes grow into unwanted plants with literally no effort at all. I can only imagine this means I have some sort of super power which allows me to drain the life of fern and transfer it’sContinue reading “I have an orange thumb.”
Category Archives: I’m an idiot
It’s worse than I thought. Unless I thought it was worse at one point and just forgot how bad I thought it was.
So, I saw this on Pinterest… …and I was like, “Holy hell. Yes. This happens to me every damn week when I try to sign up on a new website” and so I went to pin the picture on my board and then I got this message: So basically I tried to pin a picture explaining howContinue reading “It’s worse than I thought. Unless I thought it was worse at one point and just forgot how bad I thought it was.”
I think I just became a professional scientist. A dangerously unqualified one.
Yesterday I got an email from Scientific American magazine asking if I would be interested in submitting some ideas for science experiments for children. And I was all, OF COURSE I WOULD. After all, this is the same prestigious magazine that Einstein once contributed to. My actual response: Have you considered experiments regarding the properContinue reading “I think I just became a professional scientist. A dangerously unqualified one.”
Part two: The Stanley Hotel and the reason why Ghost Hunters should hire me as a permanent member of their team. Or Destination Truth. Which one is less likely to look for giant squid? That one.
This is part 2 of my ghost-hunting trip to The Stanley Hotel so you should really read part one first. Or just go watch tv instead. That’s probably what I would do. (As usual, this is copied directly out of my journal so there’s no real flow and the tenses change constantly but technically thatContinue reading “Part two: The Stanley Hotel and the reason why Ghost Hunters should hire me as a permanent member of their team. Or Destination Truth. Which one is less likely to look for giant squid? That one.”
Oh. That was…unexpected.
You know what’s awesome? When you’re having a crappy day and the doorbell rings and there’s a guy with a package that you need to sign for and you smile excitedly at him and you’re all “Awesome! I love getting packages!” and he looks at you weird but you brush it off because Yay! Package!Continue reading “Oh. That was…unexpected.”
This is how my whole life goes
This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to be on twitter: PS. My friend MariaMelee is truly amazing and her roach spray review was like the Iliad of roach spray reviews. She’s awesome. I’m going to go to bed now. Comment of the day: So…does that mean we’re not getting roach spray? ~ Steve
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Go to my blog bc I’m giving away cross stitch stuff designed by @subversivecrossstitch and inspired by quotes from my new book (Broken) out next month.
In case you missed it, the March pick for the Fantastic Strangelings book club is Professional Troublemaker by @luvvie and it is FANTASTIC.
I was too freaked out to take a selfie at the time but this is me after getting my first covid vaccine.
Yesterday Hailey and I watched a doc on influencers and she asked why I never get boxes of fancy sunglasses sent to me and I pointed out that I don’t wear sunglasses and that I do actually get sent lots of things, like death masks and strange taxidermy and loose buttons and she was like, “Fair enough” and today I just opened the mail to find a package from @anna_dhody of the Mütter Museum and I’m feeling pretty happy about my life choices.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
