If you follow me on twitter then you already know that yesterday I bought and smuggled a dead alligator onto a plane so you can just skip the next paragraph and go straight to the money-shot below.
If you missed it, I’ll just sum up by saying that if you ask twitter if it’s legal to carry a smallish sort of taxidermied alligator onto a plane with you, most people will say “Um, no. You aren’t even allowed to bring breast milk on a plane.” Then you’ll point out that the alligator is at least 50 years old, is wearing clothes and is missing a hand and some of them will change their mind but most will still insist he’ll be considered a weapon. Then you’ll say “I can’t imagine anyone seriously thinking I’d try to take over a plane using only a tiny, clothed alligator as a weapon” and everyone on twitter will like “Really? Have you even met you? Because that sounds exactly like something you’d do.” And they had a point. But what I learned is that if you carry your alligator through the airport with confidence, no one ever questions you. Probably because you’re holding an alligator.
