Post that people who don’t twitter won’t get

Bravery by any other name.

Last week I posted a video of me face-planting into the water. I thought I’d dip my toe in but then I realized how cold it was so I tried to back out but the water was not cooperating because it was all “I’m a not solid, idiot. You can’t push off of me” and I was likeContinue reading “Bravery by any other name.”

In twitter, much like life, there is no rhyme or reason

I’ve never noticed it before, but apparently now you can look at your Twitter Activity Dashboard to see which of your tweets are actually being seen. I could already guess which of mine would be the highest ranked this year because I can see which ones get retweeted or favorited, but I thought I’d check to seeContinue reading “In twitter, much like life, there is no rhyme or reason”

And then this piece of fried gold happened because I’m the luckiest person ever

Remember last month when I was in Hollywood for some reason? Well, this was the reason. It’s a special gift just for you. A few weeks ago I shared the book trailer that Penguin came up with for me. This week I’m sharing the book trailer I came up with for you guys. It’s insaneContinue reading “And then this piece of fried gold happened because I’m the luckiest person ever”

An open letter to lots of people I’ve accidentally offended

You know when you’re on twitter and someone sends you a DM about zombie gnomes, and then the next day you DM them back, saying: “That’s fucking hysterical. You made my whole morning!” And then you go to their actual public twitter stream and it’s all: “Thank you so much for all of your kindContinue reading “An open letter to lots of people I’ve accidentally offended”

Well, that’s not flattering.

I’ve been a bit MIA this week, but today I logged onto the computer to find that my klout score is quite strong, and that I’ve become very influential…in the field of Satan. Frankly, I didn’t even know that was an option. It’s like finding out that I’m an accidental prodigy, and also that I’veContinue reading “Well, that’s not flattering.”

Honestly, it’s sort of hard to argue with any of these.

Several people sent me links to this new site that analyzes your past tweets and comes up with what your next tweet will probably be according to your personality and past habits. I assume the average person gets stuff like “I need coffee” and “Good morning everyone!” Not me. Things that “Yes, That Can BeContinue reading “Honestly, it’s sort of hard to argue with any of these.”