I’m not really full of mosquitoes

It kind of feels like a hollow victory

Conversation with Victor in the car… Victor: You never talk to me while I’m driving. You just play on your phone. me: Oh. I was just thinking that my friend M.is amazing, but she can’t see anything other than her flaws. I wish I could make her see all the awesomeness inside of her. She’sContinue reading “It kind of feels like a hollow victory”

Honestly, it’s sort of hard to argue with any of these.

Several people sent me links to this new site that analyzes your past tweets and comes up with what your next tweet will probably be according to your personality and past habits. I assume the average person gets stuff like “I need coffee” and “Good morning everyone!” Not me. Things that “Yes, That Can BeContinue reading “Honestly, it’s sort of hard to argue with any of these.”

Can you carry an alligator on a plane? Answer: I still don’t entirely know.

If you follow me on twitter then you already know that yesterday I bought and smuggled a dead alligator onto a plane so you can just skip the next paragraph and go straight to the money-shot below. If you missed it, I’ll just sum up by saying that if you ask twitter if it’s legalContinue reading “Can you carry an alligator on a plane? Answer: I still don’t entirely know.”

UPDATED: SXSW…sort of.

The SXSW festival is an hour from my house but I never go to it because crowds scare the shit out of me and also because it’s super expensive and I don’t have enough xanax and/or facial hair to fit in there, but last week I got invited to some kind of SXSW civility luncheonContinue reading “UPDATED: SXSW…sort of.”

(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton

Dear Wil Wheaton, Hi. I’m sure you must be very confused about my insistent tweets asking for a picture of you collating, and about the fact that the I Blame Wil Wheaton shirt was given an award for being one of the most viewed shirts on zazzle. First of all, let me assure you thatContinue reading “(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton”

I can’t tell if I won this argument or lost it. I’d feel better if I at least had nachos.

Conversation with my husband: Victor: Look at this video. It’s about a company that invented a tool that lets you drive using only your mind. me: Awesome. I’m so glad we’re making such huge advances in the field of driving-a-car-without-hands. It’s good that the scientists have a new priority now that they’ve found a cureContinue reading “I can’t tell if I won this argument or lost it. I’d feel better if I at least had nachos.”