I just saw this on the “Buy-one-get-one-half-off” rack at our local toy store:
I assumed the eye-patch was for after you’d shot your brother’s eye out, but Victor thought that it was perhaps preventative, because if you were pretending to be a pirate while being shot at you’d have one less eye exposed to the crossfire.
Either way, I want to lick whoever put these two things together.
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And in other news, it’s Monday, but I didn’t post the weekly wrap-up yesterday because I knew you were too busy recovering from having to spend time with family, so instead I’m doing the Monday wrap-up so you have a way to ease yourself back into work with a little distraction: 
What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- The perfect card for Mother’s Day.
- I made this for myself for days when I don’t want people fucking with me. I recommend wearing it when you’re feeling antisocial, when you want to avoid street harassment, or when you’d like people to stop staring at your chest.
What you missed on the internets:
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- Want to be part of a book club reading my book without actually leaving the house? Here you go.
- Audible listed Let’s Pretend This Never Happened as one of the best author-narrated books. I may have squealed a little.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- How to make paper claws. I haven’t perfected it yet, but when I do everyone in this house is going to have paper cuts.
- “And the tree was like, “Fuck this.”
- I’m pretty sure this guy sold his soul to the devil.
- I can’t remember if I posted this, but you really can’t see it too many times.