Monthly Archives: July 2023

me: FUCK! Victor from his office: What was that noise? me: I BROKE A FINGER. Victor (still from his office): What? me: I WAS REARRANGING THE BOOKSHELF AND I BROKE A FINGER. Victor: You what?? me: I BROKE A FINGER. AND THEN IT ROLLED UNDER THE DESK AND NOW I CAN’T FIND IT. Victor: *confusedContinue reading “I BROKE A FINGER. Sort of.”

An actual, abridged email conversation I have been having for weeks now: Him: Dear thebloggess, our client enjoy your post on travel. We will create guest content for you. We will pay 25 dollar for do-follow link. Please confirm within 24 hours. We are very busy. me: Sorry, we don’t do that. Please remove meContinue reading “Am I on candid camera?”

Just a reminder that all the food you panic-bought at the beginning of the pandemic has expired. PS. If this is relatable content go move the stuff from the wash into the dryer (or rewash them if you can’t remember when you washed them), call to get your meds refilled, drink some water and plugContinue reading “If you don’t need this reminder you are a better person than I am.”

Yesterday I found Squirrely Temple splayed out and unconscious on the dirt under the tree she usually perches on to chatter menacingly at me for existing. This is squirrely Temple being her normal self, for comparison: I thought maybe she’d fainted from heatstroke so I grabbed some water to pour over her but when IContinue reading “IMPORTANT: WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF SPLOOTING”

Hailey is in that weird age of kids who had to learn how to drive in the middle of covid times, which meant that basically it was practically impossible. When I was getting my license I just walked in off the street for my driving test with a parent and my social security card. Hailey’sContinue reading “Be careful out there.”