Art mystery possibly solved?

First, if you missed yesterday’s post about the artist we’re trying to identify you need to go back and read it first so you understand, okay?

Second, if you’re easily affected by talks of suicide be warned there are a few mentions here so feel free to skip this one. And no judgement because sometimes I’m in a bad place and have to protect myself until I’m in a better place too. Giant high fives for protecting yourself. I love you.

Third, I think we may have found the artist.

My friend Tami and an anonymous reader here on the blog both found the beginning thread I needed to dive deeper into the records and newspapers. From what I can tell, the unknown artists immediate family is all gone now but there might be very distant cousins still alive who may not want their family history shared so easily. It’s complicated because I am very in favor of lifting the secretive stigma regarding mental illness, but also I’m against personal stories being shared without consent so I’m trying to meet in the middle in only sharing the name of the (probable) artist rather than the names of the rest of her family even though all of them have been dead for decades.

If we have the right person then “L Perea” is Laura Perea.

She and her twin sister were born in 1914 and lived with their parents here in San Antonio, about 15 minutes away from my house. Their father worked at a university and taught foreign languages, which might explain why her art was in three different languages. She and her twin were incredibly bright and were awarded often for the highest grades at school. In college Laura continued to excel and had the highest gpa of any freshman at her university. The twins never married and they stayed with their parents. In 1948, when they were 33, Laura’s twin died after intentionally ingesting poison at their home. Two years later Laura is listed in the 1950 census records as a patient in the San Antonio State Hospital Mental Institution (previously called the Southwestern Insane Asylum).

And a few years later, her paintings were made. History shows that the San Antonio State Hospital (still in existence now) was terribly overcrowded, understaffed and had serious issues in the 50s so her art probably shows a very truthful reality.

I assume Laura had a breakdown after losing her only sibling, or possibly attempted suicide at the same time but survived. I’m still looking, but so far she just sort of disappears (as far as I can find) until her death here in San Antonio in 1995. She lived, is all I can say. She was cremated, like the rest of her family. Location of ashes unknown. My hope is that she lived a full life and continued to do art and heal and tell the stories of those who didn’t have a voice. I’ll keep looking.

But what I do know is that yesterday when I went in for my ketamine treatment (for depression) I started to fall into the same sort of panic that I normally get when the world goes black, but instead of the isolating dread I often feel, I found myself comforted in the knowledge that I wasn’t alone. It sounds ridiculous but somehow it felt like someone from across time held out a hand. And Laura’s image of the women waiting for electric shock therapy came back to me so clearly.

And probably that’s just the hallucinogenic drugs talking but it was the first time in the years that I’ve been doing this treatment that I didn’t feel quite so alone when everything went dark.

Today I’m more than halfway through my one-year substack challenge of doing art every week to improve my mental health and today I’ll be sharing my drawing from last week, which is embarrassing far from the skill Laura mastered, but which feels somehow prescient:

Thank you Laura, for your shine.

And thank you to everyone reading this now who may doubt their own importance but who may one day send out ripples through time to someone who desperately needs them.

PS. I don’t know what I’m going to do with her art but I think they deserve to be seen. I’ve reached out to some outsider art museums to see if they are interested in sharing them with the world, but no response yet. They may be too old. Too tattered. But if that fails I have some other ideas. I’ll keep you posted.

Thank you for listening, friends.

Thank you for staying.

Thank you for shining.

118 thoughts on “Art mystery possibly solved?

Read comments below or add one.

  1. The artwork would be a good fit for the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore. They feature work by self-taught artists – the three categories I remember a lot of pieces coming from (though by no means exclusively) are farmers, institutionalized people, and incarcerated people.

  2. Gratitude always for sharing your story. It’s my story too: family history of mental illness and grief/shame about it.

  3. It’s hard, impossible, for me to grasp anything having anything to do with mental illness. But you are bringing helpful light to an unknown subject – and while I know mental illness is a HUGE public health/sociatal issue, I never had any kind of “appreciation” for what one experiences. Now I at least have a glimpse. Jenny, thank you and bless you.

  4. The art is beautiful and haunting. Thank you for sharing it and thank you for caring about it.

  5. I’m so glad that you may have found her and shared her possible story and her art with the world.
    Her art found the right person and the right time and comforted you, and you gave her a voice.
    You are not alone.
    We are all in this world together.
    And many of us understand the struggles with our mental health monsters.

    Art is so inspirational, because it is sharing a piece of your soul and mind with the world.
    I hope an art museum or gallery will be interested in displaying her work, as well as artwork from others who have struggled with mental illness. It may inspire others to think differently about mental illness.

    To anyone who contemplates suicide, you never know how many opportunities may lay around the corner, if you just hold on. Or how many people you may have impacted. Or how much you still have left to contribute to this world, that others may enjoy.
    Don’t listen to the lies your brain tells you.

    I’m so grateful to you Jenny, for giving us a safe space and sharing this and other stories about your struggles. It gives me hope, makes me laugh, and this story made me cry, in a good way, knowing that the artist is being recognized and many of your readers cared enough to try to help give them a name and tell their story.

  6. Her artwork is amazing and I’m happy you found and shared her with us. <3 Love you!

  7. Thank you for the update. So much beauty from Laura Perea. No one tells someone with diabetes or heart disease to ‘cheer up’ or ‘snap out of it’. Times have changed, somewhat, in treatment as well as attitudes.
    I remember being driven in an ambulance, held down with hard leather straps on I10 by a guy driving like he was in the Indy 500. Terrified of an accident and being strapped down. Laura probably felt the same way. Her art will now be remembered by many, many more.

    I post as Elle but my name is also Laura.

  8. I got the chills and am sitting here crying at the thought that she was able to help you through your treatment. I hope she was able to escape the “hospital” and live fully and happily.

  9. I’m simply in awe of this person who lived and whose art has a story. And Jenny, your Lighthouse is important too. You’ve always shined a light. Sometimes you just don’t know it.

  10. Her art is wonderful. It seems like something that should be in the pages of Raw Vision magazine. Thank you for sharing it.

  11. I think this is a book waiting to be written. I would love to read Laura’s story, featuring her art. Biography? Historical Fiction? There’s something in there worth telling, worth sharing.

  12. wouldn’t it be awesome to put together a traveling installation of art by institutionalized artists? I think that would be a fascinating, beautiful and eye opening exhibit.

  13. Oh wow. Thank you. Thank you for your writing, your art, your humor, your openness, and your kindness.

  14. Wow – that first painting, with the women waiting for EST. The woman in the blue coveralls/robe got me. Like she’s trying to keep it together in her work clothes but underneath is her nightgown – and those socks. Having spent time in a mental health facility, I am a proud owner of grippy socks, the same colour as the woman in the painting. Thanks for bringing part of her story to life.

  15. The pictures touch a deep place inside. So admirable of you to do the interesting research in finding and learning more about her. Thank you for sharing this!

  16. I couldn’t love this story more and I absolutely LOVE your lighthouse drawing and message. I would love to frame it and put it in my office. You are awesome Jenny!!

  17. That was like a great big Hug finding the artist and her journey. I wrote yesterday that this all hit me harder than I thought it would..seeing that piece with the women sitting waiting for treatment again immediately caused tears and my chest tightness. I’m in the middle of writing my memoir of my life raising my son who ended up in prison. I’ve been writing how my mother’s illness affected me later in life. That picture gives me so much more empathy to her. I wish she was still alive to hug her. 🎈

  18. This is just all so beautiful that I can barely breathe. We all have to shine to honor those who cannot.

  19. Libraries often show art – as do book stores 🙂 Perhaps this could be the beginning of an art series at Nowhere.

  20. I’d like to think that Laura would be glad that her art threw you something of a lifeline. Thank you for sharing her art and her story.

  21. I’ve been thinking about these paintings and the person who did them since I first saw them here. Thanks for providing some follow-up; now Laura is not forgotten.

  22. Wow. The art is amazing, and indeed should be seen, but her story deserves to be known too. So many ‘inconvenient’ women were institutionalized in those backward times (that we seem to be barrelling towards right now) Someone(?) could write her story – even if fictionalized, it should be brought to light…

  23. What an amazingly sad story, sad for the pain Laura and her sister experienced. Mental conditions of all kinds either hurt our loved ones, kill them, or sometimes lift them up if the right help reaches out. My two daughters both are bipolar (plus a few other bits), as well as my husband having ADHD and depression. I see pain in my family all the time. But we continue to make it less intrusive by supporting each other and getting the right kind of help.
    Jenny, thank you for your support. It does make a difference.

  24. Visiting Nowhere Books is on my bucket list (I’m in Denver). I’d love to see the artwork in the store while I browse through the self care section!

  25. There is a museum in St. Joseph, MO called the Glore Psychiatric Museum. They may be worth looking into!

  26. What talent. Thank you for sharing.

    My aunt was sent to a state institution as a teen in the mid-1960s. I used to visit her there and yes, the artwork is consistent with my recollection. Ms. Parea was likely discharged by the 1980s when Ronald Reagan’s policies led to closure of these institutions and patients were left to rely on themselves. If she was lucky she had family to help or she got Section 8 housing. I too hope she had a good life.

    I am always amazed by your compassion. I hope your light keeps shining, too.

  27. Thank you for investigating and for sharing. My thought is that no one is truly gone until there is no one left who remembers that they ever existed. Laura Perea existed, and she mattered, and we can remember her through the art that she left us. And her art is helping us (you) still today. Again, thank you.

  28. Not sure how far a distance you want to reach out for museums to take these pieces, but the Milwaukee Art Museum does have a section of explicitly self taught art. Perhaps they would be interested and work to prevent further aging/damage to these powerful pieces.

  29. I’m so pleased that you were able to find them. I wonder if there isn’t a museum with a mental health exhibit that could use them to demonstrate either the work done by patients or the atmosphere of institutions at the time.

  30. Thanks for sharing your findings. Incredible story. The fact that she was able to do such incredible works of art meant that she could still be inspired and have hope which is not what you would expect given her situation. Even though her work is dark, there’s a certain clarify to it too. So maybe she did eventually start a new chapter soon after. It’s possible that given the time period, when mental health issues, especially for women, were grossly mishandled, lead to her being there. But once her grief subsided she was able to navigate her way out of that place.

  31. I went to sleep last night with Laura’s images on my mind, somewhat comforted by the fact that I knew the legions of your audience would find her and her story. Thank you for telling it so beautifully. I’m so glad you and the artwork found each other.

  32. Auburn University has an extensive modern art collection. They maybe a good place to send photos to. The JULE (JULE COLLINS SMITH MUSEUM OF FINE ART) specializes in American Modern Art and specifically from the southern US. They are a teaching museum, so students have extensive access to the works, and the professors are involved in the curation. My daughter is a student there. https://jcsm.auburn.edu/. I would send the photos to the executive director to see if they have thoughts.

  33. My grandmother was at a Texas State Mental institution a few years before Laura (like maybe 1948-49?). She too had EST many times. By the time I knew her she was a very old woman, a mere shell of her former self. Smoking Camel unfiltered cigarettes and never leaving the house. I wish she had had some form of art to sustain her, or offer some solace. This has touched me deeply. I too am receiving ketamine treatments for depression. It runs in families, like breast cancer, like heart disease. There should be no shame. Where is our 5K? Thanks for this.

  34. This blog entry might be my favorite. Do you think it would be appropriate to display the art in Nowhere?

  35. Jenny, your signing-off words just brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for the huge light you’ve shined for all of *us*! Your heart is magical.

  36. As an artist myself, I can’t eve put onto words, how much I love you right now

  37. Those pictures are haunting and beautiful. Even if no museum wants them, I hope you can have them conserved so they don’t deteriorate.

    I’m so glad you found out about her story. It’s so sad, but it should be told.

  38. I am so grateful to hear “the rest of the story” as we now know it. I feel for Ms. Perea, and hope her life turned out better than the snapshots of time depicted in the artwork.

  39. I tried looking for the artist with no luck. Thank you for keeping us in the loop.

  40. I think you’re not done with this story, Jenny. I hope you keep going.

    Besides wondering who her nearest living relatives are, and if the hospital has any information about her they could legally share, I also wonder who has had the paintings all these years and why. (This reminds me of the book The Postcard, about a woman’s search to find out who sent an anonymous postcard about her family 15 years prior.)

  41. Just lovely! Have you tried the Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore. Definitely in the range of what’s in their collection.

  42. Thanks for sharing, I really like that first painting of the women waiting for shock therapy. It’s compelling and I can’t stop looking at it. I’m glad Laura was able to use art as an outlet, and that you found these wonderful paintings.

  43. Might be a good fit to the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore MD.

  44. This really gets to me. As does all art that involves old mental institutions. I know that I too could have ended in one if born earlier. I feel facinated and terrified and always want to learn more. But I also feel so grateful and hopeful because of the progress thats been made. And yes, less lonely too. The connection to these passed souls can help. I dont understand why. I would love to know about this woman and what she went through… I wonder if that helps her to be less lonely somehow too, in some timeless existance.
    Thank you Jenny,
    Julie

  45. Your lighthouse picture is wonderful. Your light reaches so many people!
    Thanks for rescuing Laura’s paintings.

  46. We all have a story to tell and I thank you for passing on Laura’s. We should all be so lucky to have you as our story teller.

  47. I love that you guys appreciate this as much as I do.

    I reached out to the American Visionary Art Museum yesterday but haven’t heard anything.

    I thought I found a good way to find a photograph of Laura because I found out where she and her sister went to college and their yearbooks are online for those four years. They both went there and show up in the student directory, the honor roll listing, newspaper honors and Laura actually graduated summa cum laude of her class in the late 30s but neither of them show up in any of the 4 yearbooks that they were at the college. All of their classmates are there from the same honor roll so I know I’m looking at the right school. There isn’t even a spot with a blank photo or a “photo not available”. I thought maybe it was a religious thing but their father is a member of faculty and he’s in the yearbook every year. So weird.

  48. ALL the other comments encapsulated what I’d been feeling and thinking since reading your last blog entry. That artwork was for you to find and treasure. Thank you for this postscript in the comments.

  49. Oh my gosh. I cannot begin to tell you how much it love that you’ve followed up on this and shared again. If any of your musings/attentions to her art involve sharing it in any form, I would adore to buy a book or purchase her art in any form possible. I love it so much and believe that somehow she knows.

  50. These works of art moved me; thank you for sharing and for uncovering the story behind them. Don’t think they are too tattered! They can be restored.

  51. Thank you for shining. Your light has touched so many. I’m so glad you get to see someone else’s light to help you, too.
    Sending love through it all.

  52. “If I’m the Seated Woman With a Parasol
    I will be safe in my frame
    In your house, in your frame”
    -Tori Amos

  53. That has me in tears. Both Laura, and you. You think I have shine? Me? I have been in the dark for so very long, and there’s no hope, and no family, and no future, and no art.
    I stay for my kitty.

  54. Thank you for sharing Jenny. I recently received funding for therapy again and it seems to be going well. Love you keep up the good work and I’m hoping that you have a new book coming out soon. I’m a firm believer that the chance I took on some silly raccoon on the cover of a book saved my life.

  55. This sounds like the subject of a new book, Jenny. You’ve already proved you can treat Laura and the subject matter with the care and respect they deserve. I hope you consider it.

  56. I think right now, many of us are struggling. Are in a dark place. I know I am.
    Reading about Laura and seeing your art, it reaches those of us who understand the struggles you go through.
    Sending you lots of hugs.

    Lisa

  57. Thank you for caring so much. You had me at “buy things that will get thrown away”!

  58. Thank you for working so hard to see that Laura Perea is not forgotten. I can believe that she extended a hand to you to let you know you are not alone, because you have brought her out of obscurity and given her art new life. You are a treasure, Jenny. Never doubt that.

  59. She lived.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. This hit hard in a painful but beautiful way. Just. Thank you.

  60. Thank you for all of this. I didn’t read any other comments because I’m trying to stay composed so I don’t know what anyone else has suggested – but I have a couple niblings who have explored library and archivist fields, maybe going outside the art world could find a place for these really intriguing pieces. I’m so glad you rescued it, I just it can find the journey to its place.

  61. Words cannot express how much I appreciate your bravery and kindness, Jenny. You too are a lighthouse.

  62. You are not alone and she is not forgotten. Finding her story is a beautiful and loving thing. Thank you. I know you’ll find the right place for her work to be appreciated 💜🦋

  63. Why were they at that particular estate sale? Who owned so many works by this one artist? I’d love to know how they have moved around since the 50s. They are amazing. Thank you for sharing!

    (The owner was an antiques dealer and bought tons of art over the last 70 years. It was in a big pile of art from china, Japan, old prints. I was able to find him and he couldn’t remember where or when he’d gotten them. ~ Jenny)

  64. I believe I found Laura (as “Laurie” Perea) in the 1940 census at the West Texas State Hospital for the Insane, as a patient. The patient listed below her is her twin sister. Interestingly, in both the 1940 and 1950 censuses, she’s listed in both mental hospitals, and as a resident at home with her parents (and sister, in 1940).

    I also found a couple of articulate letters to the editor in a San Antonio newspaper, opposing the Vietnam War, signed Laura Perea, that I believe could have been written by her.

    (Oh my gosh, I think you’re right! I never thought to look further back at other institutions. That’s so long to be institutionalized. And less than 4 years after graduating summa cum laude from her university. Falling into the rabbit hole now. I found those letters as well and they’re so well written and similar in tone to some of the stuff her father had said in quotes but there are other Laura Perea’s in Texas so I’m not 100% sure it’s her. I’d like it to be though. ~ Jenny)

  65. I’d love to hear the sources you used to discover what you did. Did you start with the census or local newspapers? I tried to help but fell into a rabbit hole of asylum history and lost the thread.

    (Ancestry.com for census records, death certificates. Findagrave for burial info. Newspapers.com for awards. The online university yearbooks for the years they attended. Plus, other researchers. 🙂 There’s still a lot I haven’t found though…Lauras death certificate and photo, in particular. ~ Jenny)

  66. I believe almost nothing in the woo-woo category, but I truly believe Laura’s spirit was returning the favor.

  67. Anonymous #71. Stay for us, too. We need you and are glad you are here.❤️‍🩹

  68. Dearest, I am in tears. Both by the haunting images from the artist Laura, but for the beauty of the image and sentiment from your drawing. Most times you make me laugh, many times you inspire me, but today you you made me weep – and I’m not mad about it.

  69. I think maybe that was Laura’s spirit with you in your treatment Jenny. I don’t think it was the drugs. I think she knew you were doing this and looking into her art and her story to share it with more people through your platform. I think she appreciated that and you made her feel more “seen” and helped to spread her art to hopefully help others as it was hopefully helping her.

  70. Jenny, it seems so ironic that you suffer as you do, yet are the light and the joy, and the hope for so many. Like everyone one else here, I love you.

  71. If the definition of art is what the mind perceives, but only the heart can know as true then this wasn’t a coincidence. All the small, subtle occurrences that had to meet to ensure this art was there at the time you were there are astronomical. Maybe, though I know it’s sometimes difficult to believe, you were chosen to discover her art. Who else would have felt drawn to them, to hear them? Maybe this is closure for her. Maybe she simply wanted to be heard, all these years later and your gentleness and kindness felt the pull to them. In any case, thank you for helping her and bringing peace. You’re a good woman.

  72. Thanks for sharing this story! Serendipity. She reached out because she appreciates you sharing her art and being interested in her and appreciating her art. Very powerful. Just like we appreciate you sharing your story and your art to help us and others!

  73. I did just a bit of research when I learned my great great grandmother died while inpatient at a mental hospital in 1904. State hospital records are public record in some cases (1900-1950s are in Massachusetts, so it’s worth checking to see if TX hospital records are public). Tracking down the right files is tedious but records are fascinating, full of rabbit holes and historical piecework. If this was a city or state funded institution, client intake and records could be available. They might not say much. My ancestor’s death record says she died of cerebral hemorrhage secondary to exhaustion, and exhaustion was listed as the reason she was committed initially, but there’s no information re: the reason for that exhaustion. So: sometimes records can be found for state hospitals, sometimes the information is annoyingly empty, and sometimes those little bits paint a bigger picture, one by one.

  74. You are wonderful. Always. Thanks for making sure that

    I’ve worked in a place for 20 years with white man after white man being hired in over my head. I have been told every type of lie as to why I can’t be promoted. Now every possible opportunity for creative work is being stripped from my job description, and I will be asked to manage other people with no raise or compensation. When I pointed out that I had been told that previously that I couldn’t be promoted because I didn’t have people working for me, I was told that I had better just set that aside and prepare to be flexible. How is this relevant? Because all of the women working with me who also can’t be promoted are feeling the same way. We are wage slaves in an insane asylum. I think I may know what art I need to do now that I can no longer make creative work at the job where I was hired to do creative work. I will document the lives of my fellow inmates in the insane asylum where we work.

    Thanks to everyone for bringing Laura Perea to the world and making sure she isn’t forgotten. Fuck her family for letting her disappear.

    Wouldn’t it be cool to gather the lost artwork of lost women and put it all in one place? Give everyone a name and an existence? Thank you for this. thank you so much for finding her. Finally I have tears of healing instead of tears of rage.

    I have been writing and lurking here for over a decade. LWH stands for Little Warrior Heart. It was intended to be deeply insulting. I am so uppity. I made it my logo for my gift cards. I wish I could show you.

    I can’t get through without you dear lady. I am sorry that you hurt, but I am so glad you are here.

    (I’m sending you so much love, friend. ~ Jenny)

  75. This story gives me chills. Absolutely incredible. May Laura’s story shine on through you!

  76. Jenny, I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your blog post and the work you’ve put into finding this woman. As soon as I saw Laura’s pen and pencil drawing of the asylum, I recognized it. A chill struck me and I’m still shaking as I write this. My great grandmother lived and died at the San Antonio State Hospital (asylum). She was committed after shooting her father when she was a young mother. I’ve never been able to learn the details, except that her father survived the attack, and she was institutionalized. She is buried, along with many, many former patients on the grounds of the hospital–which is STILL a functioning institution. My great grandmother’s story was buried with her and her medical records until recently when, as I was writing my memoir, I stumbled onto the information. I have heard horror stories about this hospital and my heart breaks for all those who were incarcerated and kept there. I suspect many were simply “disappeared,” as was my great-grandmother. Your work has brought dignity back to the very people whose lives, in my opinion, were stolen from them. Thank you and I hope Laura’s family feels some peace in your work. Jane Clark

  77. Jenny, you open doors for your readers to so many intriguing worlds, I thought you might like the following: The word on the back of Laura Perea’s paintings about telling the truth (or not), which you noted as indecipherable, looks to me like doorslip, which is a tool used by firefighters to gain rapid access when a locked door obstructs their rescue and firefighting work. To quote one site which sells them: “This tool works on slam locks/knob locks that you would find on an inward opening apartment/house entry door, it does not work on deadbolts. The high-strength, bendable Mylar allows this tool to wrap around the door with ease allowing quick access.” I wonder if Ray was a firefighter. Can’t help wondering what the truth she shouldn’t have told might be.

  78. PS–The doorslip for sale on the above-mentioned site sports this label: “InAndOut – Firefighter’s Swipe Tool”

  79. “after Ray threw the grilled doorstop at me” – a sandwich that has been grilled.

  80. You are amazing, Jenny. Thank you for telling Laura’s story. And the lighthouse drawing? It’s PERFECT.

  81. Thank you for sharing this all with such care. Her art hit my chest immediately. How women have suffered for truth in their stories.

  82. Hi Jenny, my cousin owns an art gallery in San Antonio. A large majority of the art are created by local artists. She’s super awesome and I think would love to talk about Laura’s art and the possibility of displaying it.

  83. One of my favorite museums in all the world is the Brut Museum in Lausanne, Switzerland. It conserves thousands of works of art by people who were hospitalized for various reasons. Highly recommend it to people who love outsider art.

  84. I am touched by this story, and so glad the twins seem to be found. This kind of thing is sorely needed before the people who were relegated to isolation in asylums.

  85. I think the missing word above on the back of the drawing is “doorstop”. My aunts all wrote in a similar hand. They were of the same time as Laura, probably it was commonly taught in public schools at the time. Thank you for finding Laura.

  86. your art almost made me ugly cry….so…thank you? lol. I def saved it. I highly doubt you’ll see this at this point, but just in case – just bc she did a different art style than you doesn’t mean she’s better. Art is subjective. Yours really moved me. Don’t let imposter syndrome be a dick in your head….jesus that’s a terrible vision lmao

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