First off, bless you for your feedback on my last post because it made me feel like I wasn’t the only idiot to accidentally OD on gummies.
Secondly, if you read here you already know that I take ketamine injections once every month or two (at a medical clinic) to help treat my treatment-resistant depression and that I have a history of accidentally watching the wrong thing on their TV while having a terrible psychedelic trip (like the time when I was watching Schitt’s Creek and it ended and started playing an apocalypse movie that I thought was the live news) so this last time I was like, “Let’s play it safe” and I chose something called “Christmas Cats” or something like that and it opened with little kittens playing with ribbons and I was like, “Yeah, you can’t go wrong with kittens” and the nurse agreed and left the room and then this happened:
It’s not in focus because I was incredibly high and wasn’t sure it was real, but it lasted forever….the unblinking cat slowly getting closer and closer.
It was like I was looking at myself as a cat who was also too high and was having an internal freak-out as the flames of hell popped around us.
But then it changed and I was like, “Clearly I’m hallucinating this because what?”
It was keyboard cat. Staring right at me. He knew I was high and he was judging me.
“You’re not real,” I may have whispered. “You’re not even Christmas-based.” And that seemed to work because he faded away and was replaced with this:
I don’t have a good picture of this one because, again, too high…but seriously. Look close at this image. I can’t even begin to tell you what is wrong here. I remember saying, “CATS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT” and then I (thankfully) lost my sight and fell to another dimension while reassuring myself: “The cats on the tv can’t hurt you.”
And then the next day I was looking through my phone and realized that all the stuff that I thought I’d hallucinated was totally real and so this is a lesson from me to you to check out what you’re going to watch before the ketamine appointment because seriously, no one needs this.
And a quick note in case you are in San Antonio for the holiday and want to stop by Nowhere Bookshop, that we’re giving all our employees paid days off on Thanksgiving and Black Friday because we’re bad at capitalism but good at people. But we’ll be back open on Saturday, and as a special thanks we’re offering 20% off all of my signed, personalized books ordered from Saturday to Monday if you want one for yourself or as gifts for others. (We ship everywhere.) And I will happily accuse you of a crime, give you a trivia hint or draw a picture of a giant metal chicken, or whatever else you like in your books if you just let me know on the order form. Just use the code SURPRISEME at checkout to apply the discount.
I don’t know who on our team made this picture of me but it is cracking me up:
Rider21: Well. With AI heading our way, pretty soon you won’t need drugs to wonder whether what you just saw was real or not.
Good capitalism; happy and respected staff means better service, less sick days and so on.
I like that you note that you get your treatments at a medical clinic. 😀
It seems like the ketamine is helping you? Do you think it is? Personally the gummies help me but i dont take 150mg.😉
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and thank you for being so good at people ♥️
the problem is that nobody plays l.a. woman (the doors) for you. where the hell is travis when you really need him.
Love that you give your staff the time off!!
I think it’s absolutely wonderful everyone at the bookstore gets Thursday and Friday off – with pay!! That’s fantastic! And Jenny, I LOVED this line: “we’re bad at capitalism but good at people.” Wishing you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving!!
I think I would watch fish in a coral reef. But no one gets eaten.
I first thought about waves on a beach, but that could get repetitive, which could be dangerous.
I feel like the medical facility should do something about the TV situation. Like maybe a very controlled live-steam.
Thanks for sharing and thanks for being bad at capitalism too.
I still can’t believe you get Ketamine treatments with your eyes open. I feel like I’m cross eyed and having a stroke if I try to really think, talk, or look around. I prefer an eye mask and weird “instrumental” meditation music (Spotify Ketamine Therapy playlist). High as a kite, but it really does help with my depression.
The cats are pissed off because they are forced to perform and wear silly hats so that why they look like this do your cats love to perform trick’s? For a audience or you?
And THIS is why I don’t like cats!
Holy Chrimony! Those are some messed up cats! I can’t even figure out what’s going on with the last piano cats body. They should screen these videos before they play them at the clinic. Reminds me of the time I took my young kids on Mr Toads Wild Ride at Disneyland thinking it was harmless. Traumatized them and me at the end. Who decided that was a kids ride has to have their head examined.
I love that you watched Schitt’s Creek on ket.
As a former retail worker, thank you for being bad at capitalism.
Lisa
As a former retail worker, I appreciate you being humane towards your employees so they can enjoy the holiday and not working the insanity that is Black Friday. Small business Saturday suits your place.
Cats don’t like being made to do stuff that they didn’t decide to do on their own. Plus, they’re already high on life, unless they get into catnip, or eat a spider plant, then they get even more crazy.
The ketamine center really needs to get better videos for their patients to watch. Like an endless loop of CBS Sunday Morning’s last minute of nature. That is the most relaxing sights and sounds on a screen I’ve ever seen.
Everyone have a chill, relaxed Thanksgiving!
Ok, if you can bring in your own iPad to your apts FYI the Monterey Bay Aquarium in CA has an otter live cam…no scariness, just hours of cuteness! It goes from 7 am-7 pm PST daily so I think that’s 9 am-9 pm your time. See the link below.
Also major claps and high fives to you for keeping up on the ketamine, despite the nightmare inducing content on the clinic screens! Happy Thanksgiving to you, Jenny, and tribe!
https://www.montereybayaquarium.org/animals/live-cams/sea-otter-cam
Have you tried asking for Joy of Painting with Bob Ross? It seems like they should be able to play Bob Ross for you. No loud noises, just lots of animal stories over a backdrop of happy little clouds and trees and waterfalls. Shwoop! (You gotta make the noise or it don’t work.)
The side eye game is strong in piano cat. I might be broken because I laughed way too hard at these cats. I promise I myself am not high, it’s just extreme anxiety. I have to go take pics of my cats mouth for a consult. I hope they turn out better than these pics. Giving your employees Black Friday off is amazing!
Jellyfish aquariums on YouTube are my favorite K-Hole videos!
You’re awesome. I’ve had a Strangelings account for um almost two years? I think? And many of the books hang out on shelves and don’t get read but lately I’ve been doing that thing where I pick up actual paper books and read them. Usually cover to cover when I’m supposed to be doing other things. But it’s fine. Really. Sleep isn’t important. Reading is restful. Right?
Anyway. I just wanted to say how awesome your staff is because year before last I placed an insomnia order (including a blind date book ordy) with a request that you put a note the “with love from your husband” in it so you t was my Christmas present and not just my insomnia shopping and when the package came he saw it and said “Great!” And tucked it away and by the time I actually opened it (because they WRAPPED EVERYTHING! Even my socks!) I had forgotten exactly what I’d ordered and it made the whole thing an awesome surprise. So yeah. You have fabulous people there. I need to come visit.
If funds exist I’ll place another order this weekend. I’d love a surprise.
I think the people at the clinic are just messing with you, giving you only bizarre video choices. 😂
To the Anonymous person who suggested fish on a coral reef – it starts off nice and relaxing and then the shark shows up and there is a person blithly diving amongst the reef and BLAM! Jaws 4.
I think that whomever is in charge of providing the images is definitely messing with you.
Cat number 2 is definitely judgey.
Cat number 3 is Ron Mael.
You make me laugh so hard. I would buy all of your books but it would be for me and I can’t get away with that right now!! Thank you for giving everyone time off!
Speaking of cats… have you seen the cat hat on Temu with the hair rollers that looks just like your photo?
https://www.temu.com/goods.html?_bg_fs=1&goods_id=601099571701086&sku_id=17592433667522&_oak_page_source=501&source_goods_id=¤t_rec_strategy=&_x_sessn_id=tdqlqs2aoe&refer_page_name=shopping_cart&refer_page_id=10037_1732970591718_na45htzz24&refer_page_sn=10037
The Sprunki Retake combination of creativity and challenge is what keeps me coming back. It’s fun to see how my mixes turn out every time!
My heart aches from laughing at you. I wish I could afford to buy all of your works, but I’m not in a position to do so right now. I appreciate you granting everyone a vacation.