(Sorry I’ve been MIA. This week has been really hard. Sending love to anyone struggling.)
Last week we got a letter from our HOA chiding us that our Halloween decorations should have been removed in November, and that we would be fined if we didn’t remedy the 12-foot skeleton on our porch by today.
So we reluctantly got out the ladder and did the hard thing.
Although probably not the hard thing that they expected.
PS. Originally we hung two of the pink circles on Bone Crawford’s chest, but from a distance they looked like nipples with enormous areolas. I thought it was fine and very body positive but Victor wasn’t as convinced so I removed one and now I’m second-guessing my capitulation because if the HOA was still furious then I could generously offer to remove the nipples to meet in the middle of “appropriateness” but I can’t convince Victor to bring the ladder back out just so we could add negotiating nipples to the 12 foot skeleton on the porch. These are the arguments you never expect to have when you get married.
HOAs are stupid.
Having negotiable nipples in case you need to compromise makes complete sense to me
I am loving that there are now full accessory sets for Bone Crawford and you can dress him/her/them up for any holiday!
People with nothing to do except harass make up HOAs in my experience. Been a tough couple of weeks for me too, which I attribute to yucky weather. Hang tight, Jenny. Always here for you!
HOAs are often drunk with power, but it’s good that they also keep people from making an automotive junkyard in the backyard. 50/50 I’d say as long as Bone Crawford is decorated appropriately, I don’t see why she can’t stay right where she is.
HOA’s can GTFO and get real hobbies or something.
Sending positivity and toast. It’s been a week…
HOAs are made up of fascists. Fight the power, Jenny!
Eff the HOA, this is awesome! 🙂
This is amazing, and I love you for it, Jenny.
Shamrocks for March. Bunny ears for April. Flower crown for May. American flag and fireworks for June/July. Only one I’m not sure about is August. Then he’s back to skeleton in September.
Okay, I love this. I hate HOAs. Ours is made up of a bunch of power-hungry fascists who are so unhappy in their own lives that they want to make everyone else unhappy. Just like the FAA’s motto: “We aren’t happy until you aren’t happy.” Good for you! You are my shero, once again!
Laughing my head off 🤣 Keep rocking the seasonal decorations, Bone Crawford!!
He needs a cape, red of course. It’s going to be cold!
HOAs suck. This is awesome. Love you!
I love you and your humor!
I think it’s great, snd can’t wait to see the 12 foot Leprechaun!
This is the right thing to do! Long live Bone Crawford! It’s been a rough week, for me, too. Today is pretty bad. But I’ll carry on.
This made me laugh out loud! Truly a welcome end for the week from hell-adjacent.
I think if you haven’t already invested in one you should buy a giant foam hand doing a middle finger salute just for the HOA. Love you Jenny. You keep fighting the “man”
A house I saw had a twelve foot skeleton with a matching skeleton dog at Halloween and I thought they really missed an opportunity when they didn’t dress them up as Jack Skellington and Zero for Christmas
So Appropriate for Valentines day !
Adorable! 💕
I recently read about people in TX being sued by their HOA for a 12-foot skeleton wearing a tutu. I seriously wondered if was you guys! And then today’s post *really* made me think it was you guys! Was Bone Crawford wearing a tutu recently?
Somewhere in the U.S. (can’t recall state/town), a woman is going to court to keep her 12′ skeleton and its skeleton dog- same deal, she decorates it seasonally, but the city apparently passed an ordinance about decorations having to be removed within a certain number of days…these laws are beyond stupid. I feel that if you pay your taxes and keep up your yard, why not decorate seasonally??? We all need the emotional lift!!
I love this! And yes, as someone else has mentioned, there is a court case about keeping a skeleton up beyond Halloween. This is behind a firewall, but: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/10/style/halloween-decorations-tennessee.html
Omg I love it! 😍
HOAs can suck it! I can’t Wait to see what Bone Crawford is going to wear for Easter. Like, dress her in her Easter finest or put bunny ears or her and fill her chest with plastic eggs and pelvis with the fake grass and put and Easter basket in her hand.
Maybe she could get “flocked” and get decorated with flamingos and you could make a sign that says:
“Someone who loves you just wanted to tell you how much they flocking love you.”
Why am I giving these ideas away for free!
I LOVE that Victor participated in the shenanigans! I love this for you! HOAs are the worst.
Hasn’t that skeleton been up for years at this point? Or did you actually take it down before? I feel like the HOA is way too late on this and if they wanted to carry any authority this should’ve been dealt with way sooner (ie, you snooze you lose HOA!)
(Hope you start feeling better soon, I’ve been struggling lately too. Like five too many unexpected anxiety-inducing issues cropped up in the span of two weeks… Dude, give it a rest universe.)
PLEASE keep,us posted on how things work out (or not).
But you are positively representing single-nippled skeletons….once again, you are a role model!!!
Bone really really needs a rose clutched in her teeth!!! (or a bouquet given the scale).
It’s Frank the Gargoyle all over again! You’re awesome. Make sure Bone Crawford gets Patricks day, spring, summer and 4th of July decor as well.
This. Is. Hilarious. I needed this today!!! Love you Jenny!!!
Haha! We bought our first house last April, and I was so excited when I finally snagged a 12ft skeleton in September (seriously, how is it still so hard to come by FOUR YEARS LATER???). I didn’t wanna have to take it down (since it’s such a pain to get up in the first place, and where am I supposed to store it???), so we planned on just updating its outfit every month or so (depending on the holiday/season). I got a letter from the HOA in December and was so worried it was about Lurch (especially after I learned the president of the HOA lives 3 houses down from us), but it was just our annual dues letter. LOL! Still hoping we aren’t asked to take him down.
I kind of think that Bone Crawford is nicely decorated to remind us that we all need to show love for Valentine’s Day, and get our mammograms, because she’s post mastectomy with one breast.
HOAs are made up of unhappy people with control issues.
As long as one’s decorative skeleton is appropriately dressed for whatever holidays is happening that month, it makes people smile and not take life so seriously.
And I found a bunch of holidays and observances on the internet for the month of August, take your pick.
I personally would put her/he/them in a bathing suit with a towel and sunglasses with an ice tea in hand.
The weather has been a downer, along with the news, I’ve been avoiding them both and hunkering down on my couch with PBS tv shows, to cheer myself up.
Sending lots of virtual hugs for everyone who needs them.
It’s always darkest before the dawn. And the sun always rises, even if we can’t see it on our dark days.
It’s been really really hard this week. Thank you for sharing Bone Crawford.
I’m thinking a bikini for August.
Super creative response! He’s so lovestruck he can’t eat
I was thinking a chaste school child with an old fashioned satchel or backpack but I love the beach, bikini, sunglasses, towel, flip flops, and an iced tea (or a martini with olives)!
I love it! I vote for the 2 nipples! Isn’t that the epitome of Valentine’s Day?! I hate HOA’s!!! When we lived in an HOA neighborhood we had a light post with a bulb that burned out. We didn’t change the bulb fast enough because we got the dreaded letter. We bought and installed a 3 watt nightlight bulb as a replacement.
I want to be your neighbor
I love you so much. Every HOA needs a you!
As Dave Barry would say, “Negotiating Nipples” would be a good name for a band.
He does appear to have a heart on
Happy Valentines Motherfucker! My son evacuated in SoCal last week and sent me a picture of the fire approaching his house. All I could think of in the moment was Wow-that’s close….knock knock motherfucker. A giant Beyonce appeared in my mind and my son’s house was spared. Thank you for all the entryway humor. It comes in handy at times.
We have a house that keeps their skeleton up year round. My favorite season is Passover when he becomes Moses parting the sea for lawn gnome Hebrews
How is it possible that no one from your HOA reads this blog??? I wanna see this argument play out in the comments! 😂
Utter genius
You are a pistol Jenny!
Well played Ms. Lawson. Very well played and hysterical!!
“negotiating nipples” Hahahahahahahahahaha
hahaha, who knew is right?
Sending YOU love and hope your weeks brighten as each day brightens more to Spring.
This was the end of day laugh that I needed. Thanks for being so reliably awesome!
I just love you, and Victor!
Looked up what a HOA and then what rules some have – Christ on a tricycle, these people are power hungry cockwombles. They may not like you, but we love you and Bone too!
You have a point: -Vctor! Bring the ladders!!
If you get fined, we all will help! Pleas keep us posted ! Love you guys so much <3
Yes to the nipples! FIGHT THE HOA!
Love this. If BC is sturdy enough to support a couple of small planters/hanging baskets or to grow something from a pot up their legs then you could also reasonably argue their correct classification as ‘garden ornament/planting frame’ rather than ‘decoration’…
You are a queen. Victor must realize this by now.
Love you, Jenny. {{hugs}}
There certainly are a lot of terrible HOA boards out there, I’m not disputing that at all, but I’ll tell you a secret to changing that: run for the board yourself and get the nosy micromanaging neighbors out of there. I served on our board for two terms (four years) and now I’m fully qualified to bitch lol. But every time one of my neighbors complains, I tell them they need to put in the time before they say anything else. (Our board meets eleven times a year, about an hour per meeting, plus about fifteen minutes to go over the documents before the meeting. That’s about fourteen hours PER YEAR. Doable for most people I think.)
I’m going to employ negotiating nipples during my next client meeting. Thanks Ms. Lawson!
Our pair of five foot skeletons has been entertaining the (non-HOA) neighborhood from our porch for almost four straight years now. They are currently bundled up in all our extra winter coats, hats and scarves, reminding everyone that you can never have too many layers on this frigid week. I’ll bet Bone Crawford is also bringing joy to your street, so keep getting creative and they’ll become a permanent fixture!
Not a fan of skeletons but I absolutely love the creative middle finger to “the man”! I don’t think I could ever live in an HOA! Ugh!
I live in a “red” community that has an HOA, so I cracked up over Bone Crawford’s Valentine’s Day “look.” But our board isn’t power-hungry; it governs with common sense and an understanding we aren’t always going to agree on everything. In fact, they didn’t say a word about the plastic flamingo I sneaked into my front yard before the presidential election. (It was spray-painted a stunning blue and wore a tasteful string of pearls.)
The latest episode of “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me” on NPR, just mentioned this skeleton in the final quiz.
love, love, love (and i hate, hate, hate HOA’s!!)
I laughed so hard at this!!! LOVE it! I’ve never had an HOA but then we have houses on our neighbourhood that have had icicle lights up (or half up half down for years).
I adore you. Truly.
I love that you dress up the skeleton. We have a neighbor that has had their 12 ft. skeleton outside their house for two years now, and never does anything with it! It just stands there in the same pose, zero decorations. I’m all for year-round Halloween decor but at least put some effort into it!
In Hattiesburg some businesses keep their skeletons up all year. We also have a Mayor named Toby Barker. Any relation to Dorothy?
August is back to school for Bone imho. September is pumpkin spice latte season! I will start sewing Bone’s Uggs and beige attire post haste! Long live Bone Crawford as a tall symbol for down with HOAs! My Mom is a genius and said that folks who are on the board in most cases have optical rectalitis. Translation- a shitty outlook on life. You’re welcome and please use that terminology whenever applicable because you can’t say it and not laugh, or at least snicker.
Saw a definition of “punk” that went something like, punk is anything that pisses off people who are used to having way too much power. But we didn’t need the definition—everyone already knew that dressing up your giant skeleton in seasonally appropriate costumes is extremely punk rock of you.
A friend sent me this video of hidden book edge painting someone did on a copy of Furiously Happy and you neeeeeeed to see it 😀
https://youtube.com/shorts/26SlMDlaHfQ?si=go_FVSjScHdGGJJe
I adore your response to the HOA. On Christmas Eve, our HOA emailed and placed a letter in our mailbox: “To preserve the beauty, tranquility, and safety of our community, this l,etter is a courtesy notification to touch up your faded garage doors within fifteen days or you will be fined.”
Merry. Christmas. Eve.
We’ve lived here for 23 years.
“Negotiable Nipples” is my new band name.
I’ve had this picture open in a random tab for weeks just so I can giggle every time I happen across it.
I look forward to seeing the Easter update…