So, this Sunday the Upper Arlington Library in Ohio is bringing out to do a talk and I’m very excited about it but also really nervous because I haven’t accepted many speaking gigs in the last five years, in part because I’m self-conscious about a nervous tic that I’ve developed that you’ve no doubt noticed if you’re part of my book club and watch my zooms. It’s basically an occasional heavy blink when it’s a good day, but on a bad day it looks as if an invisible ghost is aggressively poking me in the eye every two seconds. I’ve seen all the doctors and shrinks and they tell me the best way to make it go away is to not think about it because thinking about it makes it worse and so I’m constantly thinking that I need to not think about it, which is just as ridiculous and unhelpful as it sounds.
But anyway, I’m writing this here because in the last few years I’ve had people reach out to ask if I have a problem or recommend testing or allergy meds, and so if I write this here maybe it will pop up when people google “What’s wrong with Jenny Lawson?” and I can say, “SO MANY THINGS. But one of them is that I have an occasional facial tic that is totally harmless but gets worse when I’m tired or nervous.”
Here’s a video if you want more details, although my tic is hardly showing up at all in it, probably because I’m not worried about it showing up for once. THANKS FOR NOTHING, BRAIN:
I 100% read the end as “thanks for nothing, BRIAN,” and was like “oh man, Brian suuuuucks.”
Darn it all, you’re gonna be at the wrong part of my state. 🙁 Oh well, I hope Ohio is nice to you and you have fun.
Damn it. Stop beating yourself up! There is nothing wrong with you. A facial tic? Big deal. If some guy thinks you are flirting with him—-his problem, ok. You are just fine the way you are.
We’re attending monthly trainings, and our presenter has a “tic” sort of, where out of nowhere she hiccups really violently.
Sending you love, Jenny, I would love to see you in person one day 🌻🌈💜
I just bought tickets and can hopefully make it up there! I’ve followed you for YEEEEARS and I get it. I’ve developed a stutter recently, so that’s a fun thing to grow when you’re 43…
Ooh, if you were only closer I’d be there in a heartbeat. Well, at least I would want to, if my anxiety let me!
Slow blinky eyes…that is your inner love cat coming out.
Hyper blinky eyes… that is your inner aggressive reptile coming out.
Basically, you are a reptofeline.
“Just stop thinking about it” is the world’s most impossible advice. One time I got an MRI and the tech kept stopping it to tell me to “swallow more gently.” Um. To everyone reading this, I beg you: try that right now. Swallow more gently. Go ahead. Do it. YOU CAN’T. The moment you think about swallowing, you swallow hard! And the more someone interrupts you to say you’re doing it wrong, the HARDER YOU WILL SWALLOW. I was practically in tears trying to swallow right as he made it more and more impossible to swallow naturally, let alone gently. I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
I had noticed it but just assumed that you had TD or another Mystery Medical Condition to add to your list and it was none of my business. Also, raymullen’s answer is better. Go on with your bad ass reptofeline self!
You are so great! I love the way you talk and write, blinking or not. And your sunglasses are quite lovely on you, btw, but only wear them in the sun. They look like something Audrey Hepburn would have worn, right? I hope your talk at the library is super fun for you and wish I was back in Ohio so I could attend. Smooches!
I have TD, so I understand how self conscious a facial twitch can make someone. I take medication for it, but it always gets much worse when I use my medical marijuana. I can either be in pain, or twitch like it’s a new dance craze. Those are my choices. From the comments above, it seems that we’re in good company!
OH My!!!! I live not too far from Upper Arlington! It is on my bucket list to see you in person!
Sorry you haven’t received much help from docs! It’s so frustrating to not get answers. In case you are interested in supplements and haven’t tried any, these are some that have shown possibly helpful with tics. Also, my brother (who works in IT and spends a lot of time on screens) has an occasional eye twitch that he said gets worse when he is stressed or extra tired. He said taking magnesium glycinate at night helps him sleep better and it has seemed to decrease the frequency.
Here are suggestions ( I personally have taken all of these …for other reasons)
– NAC
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4423164/
– GABA
https://www.additudemag.com/new-tourettes-treatment-understanding-the-brain-chemical-that-controls-tics/?srsltid=AfmBOorkfWKO4otfeihweHfwc06Fb5lZmhzwJb_4CMj2UAF8snFhkXH5&
– L theanine / Vitamin B6
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8875106/#:~:text=L%2DTheanine%20and%20Vitamin%20B6%20present%20very%20few%20side%20effects,CTD%20with%20comorbid%20anxiety%20symptoms
Best of luck! Also Those tinted fashion glasses are in style right now, worn by Celebs lol
perhaps wearing of those might make you feel less self-conscious if it happens 😉
Cats do long slow blinks to show love (allegedly)
If the supplements don’t help I suggest talking to your doctor about it possibly being TD if you are on an “antipsychotic” class of medication which can manifest as an eye twitch for some. Ingrezza is a medication that can treat it.
I twirl or braid my hair. I also flex my toes and role my ankles but that is a lifelong habit of trying to strengthen my really bad feet.
Not sure if anyone else
Has said this, but I have had a tic from medication, and I just said fuck it and own it right away. People will absolutely notice, who cares! People notice everything. Of you were feeling weird about something else you would assume they are looking at that as well. So own it, work it in to your talk i t he beginning and weave it in to your story. Everyone has something, don’t think you are alone in it.
Jenny,
I live in Columbus. I was so excited to see that you’re coming our way. If you want a local guide to point you where to find great food and drink (or get them delivered to your hotel because, you know, people) or things to do, hit me up. Happy to provide ideas, directions, someone to ignore while getting lost in a bookstore, whatever you’re up to.
I went to school with and worked with several people with stutters or Tourette’s syndrome, and once I knew that’s what they had, I thought nothing more of it. It’s just what made them, them.
Our ticks are what makes us unique.
I myself have migraines that can make my pupils dilate, and make my lazy eye wander when I have one or if I get tired or stressed, and I blink long and hard when under stress or emotional pain.
The blink developed post pandemic, so maybe it’s covid related, who knows?
It’s adorable, as are the glamorous sunglasses, and winking at strangers can just be a way to break the ice and make a new friend.
Isn’t it weird what our brains do to us? I’ve recently (at 42) developed issues with speaking. Often I lose the ability to speak in complete sentences. I can get the nouns out okay but the verbs just don’t want to process. I’m so glad I have friends who are patient.
On a side note I am really not looking forward to making a presentation in front of 100+ people in April.
Reminds me of the magic carpet dealer, who sold new & used flying carpets. A person on a tight budget came in, looking at the lower-priced ones, and found one at a ridiculously low price. He bought it, and then the dealer told him, “This one’s kind of tricky. It will only work if you don’t think about elephants.” (Of course, the person could hardly get it to work & sold it back to the dealer.)
After I heard this story as a young’un, my thought was, “I bet you could get that bargain basement carpet to work every time if you only focused on pickles!” (Yes, I’ve been weird as long as I can remember.)
So maybe, when the tic pops up in your mind, think pickles!
I super crazy love you right back, Jenny my dear. Keep on keepin’ on.
If we still lived there I would so come to see you. One of my favorite moments on Twitter (before Elon destroyed it and I had to leave) was when you followed me. I would also tell you a story about how my daughter was banned from that library because she couldn’t shut up and had a tantrum in the entrance. I think you might like that story because she ended up being a writer just like you. LOL
As my son once said to me in a similar situation, “why don’t you think about hamburgers instead?” Gee, thanks, kid, for the 40 pounds…
There is not a GD thing wrong with Jenny Lawson! You are fucking perfect exactly as you are and I don’t want anything to change. Keep being your fabulous self.
Ack! I might need to drive a few hours on Sunday to see you!!
Jenny-I would love to talk to you about this. I have had low key t’s since childhood but I think menopause has exacerbated them. It is a continuous struggle. The stress of it. I get it!!! 💯 We should talk
I can’t wait to see you on Sunday!
Darn, I live in Columbus but I will be in Washington, DC for an advocacy trip! Don’t worry about your tic. Both my boys have had tics since they were young. People get used to it. No big deal.
Holy crap how cool! I just shared this with my fellow Facebook friends (not that I’m all that connected) but this is awesome!
Possibly try to intentionally have the tic on purpose and then maybe you won’t be able to or do it on purpose and you can tell everyone you are trying to do this now.
(I do this with hiccups and it always works. ~ Jenny)
I think your adorable glasses really hide anything funky going on so it’s not as obvious as you think! And yes, it IS adorable! 🙂
Don’t think about the tic, think about the ice cream! Grater’s Ice Cream (which started in Ohio) is by far the best ice cream I have ever had. I highly recommend trying one of their “chip” flavors (I am partial to Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip). There’s one right on Lane Avenue 😉
My friend and I will be there on Sunday – we are so excited!
Jenny
First of all congratulations for doing it anyway. Don’t worry about the tic. People are there to hear what you have to say. The tic is likely due to antidep meds. It does that. Goes away after years of discontinuing that particular one.
From JasminB
A huge suitably warm or cool, if you prefer, long-distance hug, for the perfect You!!
I’m afraid I’ll never get to meet you, because well, the distance: Helsinki, Finland – USA, Texas and both of our anxieties. I wish you would at least record all your visits and post them on the Nowherebook shop website so I could watch them. Due to the time difference, I can’t even participate in the clubs you organize, because my work schedule is here from 6:30 to 15:15, so I can’t stay up all night to participate in them.
However, you are your perfect “crazy” self in our eyes just like that (as are we), so don’t try to change anything about yourself for nothing ❤️
You should visit Cincinnati!
I know it’s hard for you, but so proud of you!
Oh god, so much stupid around tics. My kiddo has them and they are mostly managed with a drug (that also happens to be an ADHD drug, but Don’t think about it is sooooo annoying. Don’t think about an Elephant.
I think the person who suggested you check that it’s not TD is right, but also I find it helpful to speak gently to myself. Like “aw my poor cheek muscle is tired and nervous poor tic.” it’s not not thiking about it, it’s just thinking “OMG is it gonna happen now.
Hope I get a chance to see you in person or on zoom again.
Try not thinking about a giraffe.That will keep you so busy that you won’t have time to not think about your tic.
Thank you so very much for coming to Columbus Ohio and seeing us in a cold spell. I forgot to tell you that the high school where you did the talk has a creepy graveyard story as a true backstory that is both racist and wrong at the same time. Probably not as good. A horror story as the one the people in front of me turned you onto for your plane ride home. I really appreciated you sharing your stories doing the Q&A and hanging out to sign everyone’s books. How awesome of you to just show up and be yourself!!!
You were great! Thank you for coming to Ohio.
I was so delighted to see you. And it felt wonderful to be seen.
Thank you for sharing you with us.
You were awesome!!
(If you’re still reading) as Joyce said earlier in as many words, own the tick. ( hard not to …)
When I get one I study it intensely and try to work out which exact muscles are working it then practice making the exact same movement voluntarily, again and again until I control it. It usually gets bored and wanders off. None of them have had a tantrum yet but I suppose one day I might end up experiencing a random sommersault.
If you hadn’t mentioned it I wouldn’t have even noticed it.
Aw, Jenny, don’t sweat the tic! We all got our quirks. Just be your awesome self, Ohio will love you! Can’t wait to see what you have to say.
Hi, I know this is an older post & so many people gave advice BUT!!! I have a similar tic and it would always be worse when I was younger & using face wash with salicylic acid. 🤷♀️