The HOA really hates us, I think.

in Random Crap

Just a quick note from the front-lines of our strange, ongoing battle with our Home Owner’s Association, who doesn’t think year-round 12-foot-skeletons are acceptable because skeletons are seasonal and Halloween is over.

Bone Crawford remains standing.

Happy early St. Patrick’s Day.

87 thoughts on “The HOA really hates us, I think.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. This is the reason I will not ever live in a neighborhood with an HOA.

  2. THE HOA Board might hate you but I bet plenty of rank-and-file HOA members love you.

  4. For one brief, delightful, moment I thought you’d used a shamrock in place of a fig leaf. 😀

  6. Same as those people who decorate the geese or flamingos in their yards. Perhaps your HOA would prefer a gaggle or flamboyance (Isn’t that the perfect term for 🦩?) instead. 😈

  7. I like being in an HOA after a house by us became a dumping ground for bathtubs and refrigerators. It was in an expensive neighborhood and county. And then one we were considering buying elsewhere made the bathtubs and frig house look like a spa compared to the one next to the possible house.

    But I would want an exception in the bylaws that skeletons be allowed for all minor and major holidays. And other neat stuff.

  10. 12 ft skeletons can definitely be a year-round feature to add Beauty and interest to the home and if somebody born on St Patrick’s Day who grew up in England and Chicago and New York you have made the first St Patrick’s Day decoration in my 62 years that I have liked
    I could have been way more into my birthday if they had just dressed up a 12-ft skeleton who knew!!?

  14. Some people down the street from us have one and they didn’t take theirs down until last month. I know they decorated it for Christmas because we walked by just before and I told my husband they should put a Santa hat on it and the next time we passed it was wearing one, which I thought was awesome. I wish they’d kept up the fight because I miss seeing the skelly. Thanks for spreading joy!

  15. I love Bone Crawford and think dressing them up for each holiday and season is awesome! I’d love to have someone creative and fun like your family in my community.
    HOAs are made up of people who want to live in similar look cookie cutter homes with no personality, and the HOA boards are made up of people who want to stamp out anything that doesn’t fit their idea of bland perfection.
    My HOA painted all our exterior doors white, when we live next to a city and a highway and near a highway-like state road, so all our doors look dirty all the time now from the pollution. There’s nothing I dislike more than having to wash my doors every week. They used to be painted medium grey, which looked much better and didn’t show dirt as much. Then they told us we couldn’t put up any exterior decor signs or garden statues or anything outside our units. Phooey on them!
    I hope you circulate a petition to all of the people in your complex to let Bone Crawford remain up year round as long as the outfit changes appropriately.

  16. A neighbor on on our cul de sac put out a USC flag, so my hubby put out a UCLA flag. Chaos! Then! I put out some lovely pink flamingos in the front yard. The flamingos were quite lovely and fit right in since we live in Palm Springs. No HOA, but people that still live here think I am a goofball. Did you know the company that made those flamingos for years went out of business? Sad but true. I just can’t help myself sometimes…..🦩

  19. You’ve inspired me. I wonder what kind of large creature I could get that would annoy our HOA? It would be fun to dress it up for holidays.

  20. I think you should nominate Dorothy Barker to serve on the HOA board.

  21. there is a house on my way to work in Scarborough, ME that has a year round skeleton like yours they dress up for every season or holiday. it is THE BEST. i often wonder if they are custom-making the outfits due to size. 🙂 your HOA needs to to understand that you are not alone. this is a national thing.

  22. Love the outfit.

    Do your HOA CCRs actually specify that “holiday” decorations can’t be up year round? Ours used to fine people, but then we looked at the Association documents and it did not say anything about “holiday” decorations, so the complainers had no leg to stand on. Now, we have folks that have holiday light strings that change colors for the various seasons — I’ll take those any day over the front yards covered in cement that look like used car lots.

  23. You were very restrained with where the shamrocks are coming from.

  26. There seems to be some kind of special day every month, so I think they’re safe! It’s good to see an HOA get boned!

  27. SKELETONS ARE NOT SEASONAL!!! Each and every one of us is a walking skeleton with skin. I don’t consider myself seasonal. 🤣

  29. We have one in our front yard (no HOA). We’re using it as a trellis for honeysuckle 🙂

  32. You need to track down every obscure holiday to justify Bone Crawford’s existence just to piss them off. Bone Crawford Forever!

  33. Well, our country is led by Nazis, so people like this don’t surprise me. They’re the kind of people who voted for the orange dictator.

  34. Bone Crawford should be able to stay year-round!!! HOAs are horrible, IMHO!! I’m too much of a rebel to live in an HOA neighborhood….though the pics of your house are beautiful. That’s a “hill I would die on”.

  35. A house I pass on my way home has a “life-size” Sasquatch cut out that they seasonally decorate. It makes my day when I drive by and he’s wearing or holding something new.

  38. Your 12 foot tall skeleton is part of biology education. Scientific communication to the public is very important and its abdrigment is a violation of the first amendment. You can tell the HOA that a random internet scientist thinks your skeleton is important and awesome and in no way halloween decor.

  39. I’m right there with you! One commenter said a few words about people dressing up their yard ornaments. My one flamingo (not only, but the only one in the front yard) next to the steps into the house gets a witch hat and broom at Halloween, Santa hat and neck scarf for Christmas, and whenever a family member has a birthday, a party hat! Take that, HOA!

  40. I have it on good authority that a 5 xl t-shirt fits these guys, in case you ever wanted to make a custom shirt for him via cafepress or what have you…

  42. The folks who try to direct other peoples lives or expect your home to not stand out are frustrated little generals. Sorry you are in that situation. Been that, stuck there, evryone in family told us to move but we wouldnt, I will suggest you think seriously about it to save yourself s much stress. Alternatively how about weird lights inside your windows all night.

  44. Bone Crawford is awesome! I wish I had his brother here. I wonder what my neighbors would think. 😂

  45. Skeletons are definitely seasonal and are only appropriate for four seasons out of the year. If it isn’t Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, you should bring the skeleton inside.

    I suggest joining or creating a death cult so that your friend Bone is an expression of your religion, kind of like how some of us have a mezzuzah on our doors.

  46. I think you could do something creative with transgender mice. Mouse in drag

  47. Awesome! Love those skellies. Sorry you live in an HOA. I could never live in one. My yard is more for nature than perfect looks. It’s great having trees all around giving you privacy.

  49. It’s scary how much power the law gives HOAs in Texas, so just make sure technically in the right; and put aside some money for a lawyer.

  50. Oh Goddess HOA? I’d have to kill myself and add to the skeleton family haha

  51. I tried to emulate you and leave my multi-color, programmable string lights up and change them for every holiday, but I received a letter that we can’t have ANY decorations up except from October 1-January 1. I’m so happy to be leaving this HOA!!

  52. I concur with the bunny ears suggestion. Also a giant basket fill with eggs and if you can find/make them ..skeletal Peeps! Or regular giant sized Peeps.

  53. One of the many reasons why I’m glad I live in an old-fashioned neighborhood (single-family dwellings built in 1947 for returning WWII vets). No Home Owner’s Association.

  54. Best way to make sure the HOA isn’t run by a bunch of spoil sports is to get on the HOA board yourself. Then you could make a rule that every house is required to have a holiday decoration or 12 foot skeleton . A neighborhood we used to live in had an HOA that met once/year in the spring for a cookout, did the business part in 10 minutes, then started grilling and drinking. And that community had a roving band of 25 or 30 pink flamingos that would move (be moved?) to different yards.

    In all seriousness, check the covenants, conditions and restrictions and other HOA documents and see what they really have the power to really require or prohibit.

  59. But what would HOA even do, if you werent living there? You make work for lonly people! Be proud 😀

    Bone Crawford remains standing!

  61. I think Bone looks extra happy in shamrocks. Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. And good for you for not caving! Love you, Jenny.

  63. What is an HOA and why can they tell you what to do with your own yard? I’m not from the USA so I don’t understand (unless you are renting?)? But if you own the house and the grounds why are they allowed to tell you what to do with it?

    (Some neighborhoods have Home Owner’s Associations that enforce rules of the nieghborhood. Ours is a bit stricter than a typical one, but they can be helpful if you have a neighbor who is not keeping up a place or causing a danger. A house behind me was unoccupied for about 8 years and they made the owners keep the yard from getting too overgrown, which was nice bc it’s a good way to get mice. In my neighborhood you sign up for the HOA when you move in and pay for it each year. ~ Jenny)

  66. The house near mine which has the 12-foot skeleton and the 10-foot werewolf added a bigger (13-foot?) tree skeleton thing (groot style head skeleton body all looking like tree bark) it’s fun to see if they find something every October to add to the year-round yard display.

  67. Last month one of my neighbors had a skeleton in his tree with a heart on its pelvis (we don’t live in an HOA). “It was a skeleton with a heart on.” Now say that out loud and wonder with me if they did it on purpose. Yes, I’m a 10-year-old boy.

  69. I can understand where they are coming from and your point of view, but face it, you signed the contract when you bought or rented into the place. it’s on you to do your research. and obey their rules. I grew up in a voluntary HOA community and they are not anything like the HOAs of today. it’s mostly yard of the month, community garage sales, neighborhood watches, and parties. which is why I refuse to consider buying or renting a house with one. the only way to change this ruling is to get elected to the board. you might not like their stance, but have you asked your neighbors what THEY think of your skeleton? they’re the ones who have to look at it every day. perhaps they think the joke is wearing thin.

    (That’s true, but I’ve never had a complaint from a neighbor, only compliments. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  71. Well done! (I never want to ever have to deal with an HOA!) Keep the faith and keep fighting.

  72. I’m curious – is the HOA threatening legal action?? If they just hate you, who cares? I love that you are making Bone Crawford a member of your family. They seem like a guardian at your front door.

  74. No HOA for me but I used a 4 foot hairy spider as the center of a fence display; spider in a web, as Santa, giving roses to the pink flamingo, spring motif with flamingo, baby flamingo joins the family and then, no joke, the wind somehow carried the spider across the street and I found him in the woods and so ended the fence fun.
    It started because I wanted to stretch my creativity and not spend any money. In the end I took the “web” of fake flowers and turned them into a peace sign. My neighbours told me they liked it and apparently small children had to be consoled when the spider disappeared.
    Flying the freak flag (or the “I’m other”) is so important right now; making it with a sense of love and joy brings that energy into a world and our that can feel dark and dismal.

  75. I have fought a TX HOA and won. My HOA president at the time is the rat bastard who got the laws changed to allow HOAs and MUDs to sue you and collect damages and their legal fees. Check your deed, there is always an escape hatch. Ours was to get over 50% of the property owners to sign a petition, with notarized signatures, and filed with the county clerk, to change said restriction. All this then became part of every property owners deeds!! The HOA/MUD had sued us for small garden shed that matched the house and couldn’t be seen from the street. They were not happy when their attorney had to tell them at the public meeting they had to drop the suit and why. I was right there in the front row smiling as their cocky grins faded from their faces.

    20 years later I still despise the nazi bastards, but then I remember how I made them cry uncle in public and continued to hold their feet to the fire the rest of the time we lived there.

    I will NEVER live in an HOA or MUD again. We’re in a downtown Austin neighborhood with the coolest house and artwork, etc.

    Read the Deed and fight!

    And Bone Crawford is awesome.

  76. When you found the life size T. rex I told my kids I was going to remove the dying tree from our front yard and replace it with a life size T rex! I told them wo could decorate it for every season! A giant Easter bonnet and a basket to hang on his tiny arm! An Uncle Sam outfit ! Christmas lights!

    I think a year round 12 skeleton is perfectly acceptable, and so does my neighbor. Theirs is at Patrick’s decorated as well

  79. I am scared to leave this reply, because I see a crowd of people all cheering you on, and I don’t want to be bullied, but I don’t think agree with leaving this up year-round, especially with an HOA. I love your writing, and your stories, but HOAs aren’t the evil things people here are saying they are. Some of us really do like having lawns clipped to the same height at the same time, and a similar look and feel to the neighborhood. I live where we have an HOA, and am known as “the Halloween guy” because of how much we decorate. But my decorations are down on Nov 1. And I would feel upset and kind of like you were challenging me to a conflict by leaving it up year round. I’m sorry, but it would make me constantly anxious that I liked you as a neighbor but disliked what you were doing 🙁

    (This is a totally fair opinion, friend. I will say though that I’ve never had a complaint from a neighbor -and in fact get compliments from them all the time – and you can’t actually see Bone Crawford unless you’re standing directly in front of my house because she’s tucked in the back of my porch. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  80. Long may Bone Crawford stand! Vive le squelette (long live the skeleton)

  81. Jenny, I think he needs to be a permanent fixture, dressed for the season. I want to help clothe him appropriately. Right now a green bowler would be fitting. And until the end of May? June? Just add flowers and make him a gardener. Dollar Tree bucket & tools, some fake flowers growing from his ribs? Perfect for the entire growing season!

  82. I’d love to know who in the HOA is only using their skeleton seasonally? Because, personally, I’m anatomically dependent on my daily, and certainly wouldn’t consider it merely decorative. Their argument may be logically flawed.

  85. When I worked as a Nurse-Educator there was a life-size skeleton in my office, left from a previous occupant.
    The first day of every month I decorated him/her(?) to reflect the holidays. Stocking cap & scarf in January, a heart where a heart would belong for February, etc.
    The dollar store was my friend.
    The skeleton faced the doorway. It was the first thing you saw when my office door was open. More people than usual used that hallway the first few days of the month
    No one ever said anything. Ever.
    I am such a dork.
    (did I mention I taught Operating Room nursing)?

  86. There’s a house near me that has an entire skeleton family that stays out year-round, and they decorate them for every holiday and season. It’s 100% delightful. One of my favorites was last summer when they had them wearing goggles and carrying pool noodles and floaties. They’re currently decked out as leprechauns.

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