My friend Xan sent me some giant easter bunny for Bone Crawford and I love them but…
Bone Crawford is no more. Or, actually she still exists but I had to take her down because we’re selling this house and moving to a smaller one in the same neighborhood because this house feels too big and empty now that Hailey has moved away to college. Sadly, Bone Crawford is one of MANY things that I now have to find new homes for because so much stuff doesn’t fit. I gave away a truckload of stuff and I’m going to put some stuff on eBay to help fund Hailey’s college but I have a shocking amount of weird shit that is too big to ship anywhere and my neighborhood doesn’t allow garage sales. Ideally I’d find a San Antonio collector with lots of space and weird tastes but I’m not super hopeful because here are just a few of the many, many things I need to sell:
The (working) head of a Middle-earth tree Ent.
Hand-painted 3-foot-tall faces of George and Martha Washington.
An entire footlocker filled with vintage mother-of-pearl buttons from a button factory, but they’re filthy and all need to be cleaned because the factory was abandoned for decades.
A very old plastic horse that I bought for Nowhere but it didn’t fit.
Bertram, the giant bear head.
An old english pram. Taxidermied head included, if needed.
An art door that I thought I could use as a real door but it didn’t fit anywhere.
A Victorian roller cranking organ with 10 incredibly haunted sounding songs on cobs.
Marie Antoinette parade statue from the 50s on top of a display filled with a dozen tiny wooden houses I built.
Literally dozens of weird prints on old book pages.
A wearable dress made out of damaged copies of my books.
A TARDIS bookcase that is too small for you to get into unless you are a baby.
A creaky victorian fold-up ladder that will absolutely not hold your weight even if you are said baby.
Also, a shocking amount of taxidermied animals in clothes, a number of haunted dolls (including one that moves), a communion tray of glasses in case you want to do a lot of shots with Jesus, an actual robot on wheels I bough during covid so that people could visit the store virtually but we ended up not using because the team thought it was too creepy, a metal chicken mixer where the drink pours out of the beak like it’s throwing up your cocktail, a purse made out of an alligator foot, and a partridge in a pear tree.
PS. The giant easter bunny ears were not wasted, as Sir Terry Scratchett is now happily wearing them at Nowhere:
I’d buy that organ!
Could you sell some of the things in your bookstore?
Umm, is Totes MaGoats on the list because I will take him NOW!! Also, maybe ‘dibs’ on the Tardis shelf because I’m assuming it’s bigger on the inside? When would I need to take stuff off your hands?
This makes me sad. Keep the big house! It’s worth it to keep all your stuff together. Maybe you can register it as a museum of oddities and get a tax break.
Oh my good god, I wish I was closer!! I would buy *SO* many taxidermied creatures ❤️
Totally cool stuff!
I will be shocked if we, your people, don’t buy every last one of these items.
Very cool stuff. Why not have a garage sale at Nowhere? Inside in one corner of the store.
I wish I still lived in Texas, I want every single one of these items! 🤣
PLEEEEEZE tell me you’re keeping Beyonce?!?! Wish you could have a yard sale – I would drive from Fort Worth to go through all those treasures!
(Gotta keep Beyonce. Although she’s looking pretty rough. The years aren’t always kind to metal chickens. ~ Jenny)
Oh – so many things I’d take, especially the Ent head, but hubby would lose it. Plus I’d have to ship it or do a road trip. But my aunt & uncle aren’t too far from you. Hmmmmmm
Man, I wish I lived closer. I would give quite a few of your listed things a great home! Wishing you much luck with the move.
I’ll take one of each, please.
Coming to TX to take that TARDIS off your hands! JK. Damn, I wish.
Another thought: Wouldn’t some of the antique shops in Round Top be interested in some of these things?
I would personally take at least half of those items. Only half because my house isn’t big enough for the other half.
I wish I was closer! I want that dress! Please and thank you!
I think you’ll find that more sells than you expect. I’d break the buttons up into smaller lots; you’ll get more. (I’ve been on Ebay from the beginning.)
Texas Longest Yard Sale is the first weekend in May, up 281 from the valley to at least Blanco, maybe you could find a spot to set up and sell on the route.
Buttons! <3
I wish I could afford to have enough ship Marie Antoinette to me, but I am poor! 🙁
Suzy Q
Oh my heart, that ladder! Jenny, I wish we were neighbors and I could help you part with those treasures. 💜
Trying to figure how long it would take me and my dog to rent a Uhaul trailer and drive from Washington State. So many needful things!
Please let us know when your eBay post goes live!
The tiny birds fly away to university but the often come back! Mine did ..you might need the bigger house.
Hold an auction – I’m sure we your people would buy quite a bit. The auction house ships. That’s where 1/2 the stuff the show shipper wars moves comes from.
How much do you want for the buttons?
I’m imagining my husband’s face if I came home with these things. That alone would be worth the price of shipping ….
🤣
This is why we love you, Jenny! (Well, one of the whys!)
I wish I lived close by and I would cram more unique items into my already decorated maximalist apartment. I’m happy for you that you are moving into a new home although I know it’s hard for you. I hope everything goes well and you can collect more unique things but on a smaller scale. I love all your buttons too.
No no no no no do NOT put these treasures on FB Marketplace!! That is a giant shitshow and you get ghosted (not the good kind of ghost either) like 99% of the time. Can you set up an eBay shop and auction it all off? You KNOW there are tons of us weirdos that follow your Substack or your blog posts and would be over the frikkin moon to have some of these things.
I would like the print on old book pages of the Boston terrier in a teacup! How can I get my hands on this?
I adore those prints! I would gladly purchase a few
“a number of haunted dolls (including one that moves)” Does that mean it moves on its own?
If there was more than $26 in my savings account, I’d totally try to purchase/re-home Bertram and his pram – even if the foster dogs would wig out a little.
Can you set up a “Haunted Marketplace” in a corner of Nowhere? Rotating stock depending on what sells, deal of the week, front window specials, “Oddities and Whimsy!”
You should open a shop right next to nowhere where you just source and sell weird shit. Your customers who love the decor can be directed to the shop next door for their own weird decor. You have access to the perfect clientele already.
I shared this to my wife’s FB page. Please don’t take too much of her money.
I would buy some or all of the buttons if you would ship them.
Dibs on the alligator foot.
What are the dimensions of the organ?
How much for the ladder?
Regarding all of your fabulous purchases over the years, some of them shown here: “I regret nothing.”
Omg. I want them all but host won’t hold out all. Boo. What animals dare I ask
I would be interested in about a half pound of buttons and maybe a few of the pictures – the cat in a top hat and what looks like bunnies on a motorcycle near the lower right. The more pictures you put up then the more I want!
I LOVE buttons! I can’t be the only one. Sounds like a great thing to get for someone. Bet that’s a heavy footlocker!
Nope just as weird here, recently bought my daughter Penelope, a real porcupine head on a doll’s body on a a small wooden rocking horse.
Surely there’s a restaurant or club in San Antonio that could benefit, perhaps the MagicTimeMachine? Or an Oddities Museum? I love it all! 😍
Omg, I will pay to have some of your Taxidermied animals shipped to NY!!!!
Hold an online charity auction. I’ve seen people do it using Facebook photo albums or Auctiva or other auction software that isn’t eBay.
Ohhhhhhh the prints on book pages. I’m in love.
I really wish I lived close enough to come buy some of your cool stuff!!!!
I’LL TAKE YOUR BUTTONS! I’m in Kyle and we day trip to SA sometimes so picking up from you would be a reason to visit the McNay, right? But I have no monies so you probably don’t want me to take them 😔 but I LOVE BUTTONS!
I live nearby and I am in NEED of that tardis bookcase please please and maybe a few other things.
Oh sweet Jenny, you are so naive. Do you not realize that you are so beloved that people around the world would buy your literal garbage, just because it was yours? And for these delightfully weird treasures, the sky’s the limit. Count me in if you’re selling stuff on eBay, or have an online auction. I would love to give Bone Crawford a new home in Oregon.
you…you aren’t giving away all of your taxidermy stuff are you??? JENNY!! you aren’t giving away Beyonce right? are….are you ok Jenny???
Living across the country keeps me from claiming that lovely creature from middle earth. OMG how can you part with all the weirdness? I would be devastated. Does the move mean you get to start again from scratch?
I bet the Music House Museum would be interested in the organ thing. https://musichouse.org/
I agree that a charity auction would be a great idea! Also post everything on Instagram and sell it through there instead of eBay or Facebook marketplace. Good luck! Coming from someone that just downsized from 2800 sq ft to 900 sq ft
too big and empty…I am not sure how you of all people, with your eclectic collections of weird and wonderful, but I sort of get it too.
My daughter cannot see this. I don’t need to accumulate anything else, but I would LOVE Bertram and Marie Antoinette. And the old weird book pages! I’d need a truck to get everything back to Atlanta.
Congrats on your new beginnings at a smaller house! Glad you’re doing what’s right for you and letting any physical items and there being energy go that doesn’t serve you anymore. Sometimes in life less is more. As for your whimsical treasures, I say to myself, why on earth do I live on the west coast?! Sigh. BTW I am just as strange as if not moreso than you-you should see the things I’ve collected over the years!
The buttons in smaller batches I would scoop up in a hot minute (seriously one can never have too many buttons AND vintage things), the Middle-earth tree Ent makes my little hobbit heart go pitter pat, and the Marie Antoinette is so gorgeous beyond words.
My husband is also a HUGE history buff particularly with American history (the guy has a copy of the Constitution in his nightstand if that’s any indication) and regardless of our very limited wall space he would say the following if he saw the painted George and Martha Washington heads, “Well….I guess we’re going to Texas!” lol. Good luck with selling your magical items Jenny and cheers to your new chapter!
OMG!! What are you going to ask for the TARDIS??!!?? Seriously! I want to know. I’m even willing to throw in a kidney and my husband.
I was at the store today. We are visiting from Minneapolis and stopping at Nowhere was a must. Took pictures to prove my stalking, too! But I am not sure they will download but in any case, love you, love your zany stuff, love the names you provide them
And loved the shop. We didn’t just gawk….we bought books too.
Sorry some treasures need to be rehoused elsewhere.
OMG! You have the coolest house ever! I would definitely take some of those prints off your hands! I still have empty space on my office walls.
If you were willing to split up the buttons, I’d be willing to purchase some and pay for shipping!
I did not know about Sir Terry and it has made my day better.
You are splendiferous, over the top creative, and magnificent!
I love you! Happy Easter! 🐥 🥛🚪🪜🩷🐰
Awwwwww. My ADHD/artist self would love it all, but i live in one room and have no place for anything. -sigh
Oh man, I’d love to build a little library for the neighborhood with the TARDIS.
Umm, I think you would be surprised how much of this would sell on FB Marketplace. Or you can open a second store of collectibles?
Oh, this stuff would so sell. If you don’t want to do it yourself, get an estate agent that will broker for you. They can sometimes pick it up and display it elsewhere.
Clearly there is plenty enough for a Museum of Bloggess. PLEASE oh PLEASE someone with a bunch of extra space create Museum of Bloggess!
I’m crushed. What about Beyoncé. I’d take the giant skeleton in a heart beat….I’m also moving with empty nest…. but your whimsy was my fuel. Did none of it matter?
Flea markets, eBay, instagram, facebook marketplace, a shop near your bookstore, a sidewalk see in front of your bookstore, don’t worry, almost every single thing you sell will find a home amongst your fans, followers, and other strangelings that love weird and wacky stuff. There are people who literally make a living buying and selling this stuff.
But sometimes young adults move home after college, and you shouldn’t downsize too much, because you’ll regret it, especially if they give you grandkids someday.
Unless you move somewhere where Bone Crawford is friends with the next door neighbor’s pink flamingos or giant tarantulas or Day Of The Dead decor. Ditch the HOA and find a funky community that is delighted with your artistic nature.
There is some cool weird stuff I would buy if I weren’t so far away! There are so many loved items, it will be strange not hearing or seeing them any more 🙁
I do understand the smaller space. I have a storage unit that has things in it from my move 5 years ago. It’s awesome you can part with some beloved items.
Why don’t you open up a shop…hopefully VERY NEAR Nowhere? People will buy your stuff.
If I were anywhere near you, I would want the footlocker of buttons! I’ve always wanted to make a Christmas garland out of buttons!
Just open up a booth in a flea market type place and put it all in there for such high prices that nobody will buy them. Then you can go hang out with all your stuff. I was told that a lot of sports collectors do this because they don’t have room in their own homes for their collections. That said, I’d sure like a cup full of those buttons…
There has to be a way to find homes for all of these special things.
Dang, but I wish I lived closer and/or had oodles more money. In other news, my husband is glad we don’t.
Dear Jenny,
Does your town have sidewalk sale days where you could have a tent and sell all of these wonderful oddities?
Or do you have a local auctioneer who could sell these items on a weekend out of a building in town?
Or can you just invite a bunch of people over for drinks and desserts and as they are leaving you tell each one they won the party lottery and present them with whatever fits in their car?
I’m in San Antonio and would love some of these items!! The taxidermied bear head would go great with my taxidermied bison head (Neil deGrasse Bison could sure use a friend!) Does the bear head come with the bear arms so I can make the joke that I have the right to “bear arms?” lol The skull printed on the old book page is awesome as well!
Since I am local, please let me know if these are still available I would definitely be interested in them! 🤞🏻🙏🏻❤️
I’m ready for the book dress and the book page print! Put me in, coach!
Really? Bertram? I wish I lived closer because I’d come buy him tomorrow and hang him on my living room wall.
OMG, Jenny – if Hailey is anything like our kids, they will keep coming back home all the time. It’s an expensive time to live independently. 🙂 <3
You have the makings of a Cabinet of Curiosities!
Could try an online auction. (I’d love to have all the book page prints for a big blank wall in the public library I manage,
but I’m up in MN )
Ugh! I feel your pain! My hubbin’buddy and I downsizing too. I won’t lie, I’m one of those nightmare people who love downsizing (my anxiety dictates that there be not a single square inch of my home that I don’t know what’s in it… I’m a pack rat by nature, but learned I couldn’t adult in my early twenties if I didn’t know EXACTLY what surrounded me… its a battle wherein am always the winner AND the loser. )
But I still picture you hauling out your bear head to your balcony in the sunset to sit on… I will treasure that image of you too together.🥰
So many treasures you have Jenny! So excited for your family’s next adventure! All my best!! ❤️
You could have an estate sale after you move. My friend did that when she moved to Buenos Aires. (Then she moved back eight months later, and wish she had put stuff in storage.)
How much for the organ?
I’ll take the Tardis. 🙂
OMG!!! So many cool things. Wish i lived closer I’d be over for the art door and creaky ladder (never can have too many book shelves) today! and probably many other things…
I feel like you are not giving Facebook Marketplace enough credit (or too much). This stuff will sell! I just think that you don’t want to meet who will be buying it, if it’s not you?
Some of those need a word balloon that says “You’ll miss me!”
Oh, I adore that fold-up ladder! Unfortunately, not enough to drive 20 hours each way to get it. But it IS fantastic, and if anyone happens to be driving to south Florida and wants to bring it to me, I would pay you and them!
I need Bertram. The day you got him I laughed so hard it fixed something in me. I have a blank wall NEEDING HIM.
Make them a free gift with purchase at Nowhere!
Check with Hollywood!
I would love to have a taxidermied squirrel in clothes. I’m into frogs too.
Maybe you could reach out to whoever runs the Washington birthday celebration in Laredo, TX, and sell the photos of George and Martha! It’s a big yearly celebration.
Curses for being in a NY apartment, though I bet my roommates would be down for any of this. Is there a link to your EBay account?
Oh man, so much cool stuff! I would love the Ent head and the Tardis bookcase, but sadly, I live too far away (Michigan).
I love love love those prints on the old book pages – would love to take some off your hands!
That is some fun shit. Wish I lived closer (except that would mean I live in Texas)
I hope fervently that since she wasn’t mentioned, Beyonce will have a place at your new digs.
I’d contact all the movie companies and their props departments.
Hi! I’m in San Antonio, and I need-need-need that Tardis (OHMYGODATARDIS!)…….and that bear head.
(I’m putting the Tardis on facebook marketplace if you want it. Comes with a telescope. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/669158036057888/ My ad copy is ridiculous. ~ Jenny)
It must be difficult leaving the bigger house and having to sell treasured items. But I suspect your treasured items will go to the exactly right people who will treat your artwork and curiosities as the treasures that they are. I hope the Sale of the Treasures and the move go well.
Contact the folks at unsettlingtoys.com. They have a Youtube channel also. They would be interested in your scary dolls at least. I wish I had a big place. You have so many fun things. Aren’t there any big flea markets around? Or something like that?
You can’t just throw these wonders out! Good luck!
Damn! I’d get most of it if I didn’t live in Maine.
The weird photos on book pages are something I’m seriously interested in. I already possess a squirrel wearing a top hat and monocle on a book page. Do you happen to have anything similar? (Weird animal ones in general)
I have never wished I had money more, cuz I would absolutely take that Ent head off your hands 😭😭😭
Is that a freakin Chris Buzelli print on the wall behind the mini-tardis? I LOVE that guy’s work!
(It is! I collect his weird art. ~ Jenny)
that dress should go to your shop!!
You have a fabulous collection and I wanted to tell my wife who passed away 6 years ago. Kris would have loved many items and demanded to have some keepsakes. I wish you the best of luck finding your people.
Oh Jenny! No Bone Crawford? That’s tragic. Also I adore all of this and would totally adopt various and sundry!
Seeing your whimsical decor displayed beautifully in your home has always lifted my mood (& given me hope that one day my home will be less dusty & more magical)!
Hope that you enjoy your new home just as much & look forward to seeing the treasures you keep in a new space.
If you can decide on an auction space (online or not), I’m sure your pieces will secure good homes.
(P.S. My husband & I both own the same Narnia collection sitting on your rickety-torian ladder.😸)
The book dress should be in the window of the store
I just want to reiterate that if Totes MaGoats is for sale I will fly to SA and escort that gorgeous fucker back to my home in his very own Southwest seat 💺. I’ll even buy him the $8 WiFi.
I wish I could help, dear Jenny – but we’re in to the purging phase, ourselves – – of the identical downsizing process – my best wishes for good luck in finding Just the Excentric buyers you need 😉.
Side note- my children have moved onto college and my house is too big now too! It is like a museum of memories- which I cherish dearly but living with them is so tough. I admire your nerve to sell and set up shop elsewhere. I am not sure I have it in me right now. Anyways- good for you and good luck with the downsizing.
Hi! You have NO IDEA how much I covet those buttons. Would you be willing to scoop a Priority Mail Small box’s worth from the footlocker and sell me that many? Send them grungy, it’s fine, I can wash them. They would be so useful for the garments where my Victorian bone underwear buttons wouldn’t do!
I’d buy some of that stuff!
The door, middle earth tree ent., some of the weird book prints in frames! Email me! rileyroo127@gmail.com
Sell them at your store! Do an art show auction type thing. Donate some of the money to charity or a literacy fund if you want. But many many of your fans are also weird, and would love these things even if they hadn’t been previously owned by you!
I’ve been reading you since 2011-? Could that be right? And I remember when you got a lot of the art in this post! That Ent!
You need another Jenny to see this and breathe “At last! The things I’ve always wanted-!“ and show up with a discreet but sincere truck to pack their new friends up.
I know they’ll sally forth into the world, having gained confidence from being collected & loved by you for so long.
We’ll leave that house’s mystery attic room to its own musings.
I’d so take a quart bag of those buttons! Or that display ladder. But you’re too far away!
I would absolutely love those prints and so much more! Are these going on ebay?
I think if you set up an online sale, you’d be surprised how many of us would hop on in a hot second! 😁
I am eyeing that Victorian ladder thing and your book dress!! 😍🌻💜
Thanks again for making me smile and good luck with your move!
XO
This is fantastic! I’m a professional home organizer here in San Antonio (https://amelieorganizes.com/), and I feel like finding homes for these items is a great challenge. Let me know if you want help, though honestly, I think that this blog post will attract the right audience as it is.
I lust after the buttons, but I’m poor 😄
I’m “just down the street” (Galveston-ish) and would absolutely take a weekend to come over to SA if you did do a “garage sale” at Nowhere to sell some of these items. Please, please, please listen to all the commenters that say you can find these items loving homes.
I would love some of the prints; they’re gorgeous. I would need them shipped to Minne, but am happy to pay for. Let us know when your auction will be live!
And congrats on your decision to simplify. It is a hard transition, but you all will likely feel lighter and freer when you’re in your new space. You made a lovely, whimsical home for Hailey and your family, and can be very proud of that. It’s ok to move into a new phase 🙂
My kids have all moved. We will not be able to ever move because I will NOT be able to relocate our giant TARDIS that you can actually walk into (I currently am using it as a closet in a guest room), a couple hundred pictures on the walls, and my taxidermy collection 😀
You tempt me! You tempt me with buttons! How could you?!?
If for some reason some of your wall of prints makes it to Nowhere to sell I will gleefully make the trip down Broadway during my lunch to pick up one or two.
Time to call American Pickers!
What size is the dress? Proms are coming. -Mary
I’m interested in the buttons. Let me know.
What kind of place doesn’t allow to have a garage sale on your own property? And why would you want to continue to live in the same neighborhood when you are moving anyway?
It sounds like you need to annex space next to Nowhere to sell you curated collection of oddities. Maybe it could be called Somewhere.
I would love to buy your buttons, or a large mailer full of them! I’ve been trying to collect enough of that bery type to use for creative endeavors to give to my grandchildren.
I love it all.
I’m tripping on how many people besides me want those pearl buttons! I desperately want to make a Cockney Pearlie outfit and that calls for a metric shit ton of them; can anyone suggest where to find a grip of them online?
Your Pal,
Storm the Klingon
(I need to find out how much they cost to ship because I have so, so many. ~ Jenny)
Oh man. I’m probably too late to the party given all of these comments, but I really want the weird book prints and the fold up victorian ladder.
How do we contact you if we live in SA and want to see about maybe buying something from you since we can do local pickup especially on a big item? Thanks
(I’ve sold quite a few on facebook marketplace but I still have a lot to put up. And I might end up putting some smaller things on eBay once I have a little more time. Here’s my profile: https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/profile/698716820/ ~Jenny)
As your neighbor (in a neighboring community) I am extremely interested in a local sale…interested in adding some of your taxidermy to my weird taxidermy collection!!! I can come to the bookstore!!
I live in San Antonio and would love to buy the tardis bookcase for my dad! He has been a fan of the show since the 80s!
(Unfortunately it’s already gone to someone else. Sorry! ~Jenny)
Jenny, sometimes ppl don’t realize when we’re too fucking sick & distracted by doctors and tests to do even simple tasks. Also, the pile-on of ailments you’re fighting can just fuck themselves right off.
Times like these, the world narrows to wishing there was food already hot & nearby to eat. Climbing stairs with laundry or towels is an amusing idea.
You three made this your joy-filled home without $ help & you succeeded! Give it a white-sage bath for thanks & good luck, then let a single-story home plan whisper no-stairs magic to you.
Cataloging, packing & transporting this collection sounds overwhelming to me, let alone, haggling to sell it piecemeal. -Can Hayley recruit some college friends to come help? Where’s all those young, attractive cousins who used to populate your posts? You’ve done so much for so many. Let people help you. Time for all hands on deck!
While we won’t look to your cats to pitch in, maybe Dot can be fitted with a tiny cart. 🙂
Wow, that is some cool stuff…
Find it odd that there are towns/cities out there that don’t allow yard / garage sales. Bit far to travel but I know a handful of people that would happily rehome some of your treasures. Stealing the print idea. May these treasures find good homes.
What taxidermied animals are we talking here? My family is local and it wouldn’t even be the weirdest thing they’ve picked up for me.
Following your marketplace. Would love the paper dress. Take care of yourself. Have been following you for years. Have a printed copy of your Beyoncé acquisition story that I will give to my daughter as her 7th wedding anniversary gift (assuming she will ever marry😂).
The ladder and buttons would be my yard sale picks and I’d have fun marveling at the rest! ❤️
Buttons…!!! I’ll take a Small Flat Rate box of those any day…!!!
1. How much for the buttons
2. Can I see a pic of the communion shots?