Today when we were finishing lunch the waiter was like, “How was your day?” and I said, “Good, thanks! A little exhausting, but good. How was yours?” and then he and Victor just stared at me in silence and finally Victor whispered, “He asked how your tamale was” and now I can never go back there.
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I sign books for free if you order them at Nowhere but I often like to do a little extra and it almost always ends in apologies.
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I just read a thing about how not everyone eats green bean casserole and I’m floored. Have you never had it? The green beans and the mushroom soup and the fried onions on top? How about broccoli cheese and rice casserole? (It is my favorite and I will hear no slander on it.) This is like hearing that people have never tried macaroni. Inconceivable.
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I have stories from when I left the country last week but I’m still recovering from traveling (thanks chronic illness!) and tomorrow I’m going to be too high to write because I have a ketamine treatment for my depression. But more to come, I promise.
Have a great tamale.
Tamale be with you. Now and always.
haha, sounds like something I would say………
green bean casserole is good when its just out of the oven. but when its leftover, the once crispy french fried onions get all mushy and disgusting. plus, when your family is small and none of us will touch the leftover green bean casserole, its not worth it.
I’ve always liked green bean casserole but just once a year. But don’t get me started on sweet potatoes with marshmallows. Yuck! Ruining a perfectly good sweet potato.
Your tamale story reminds me of the John Prine song where he says “half and inch of water” but so many people mis-heard the lyrics as “happy enchilada” that he actually used to sing it that way on stage just to be goofy. And I have the t-shirt 🙂
I’m Canadian – the green bean casserole thing looks scary bad. Broccoli cheese & rice casserole on the other hand is delicious!
Love GBC!
When I was a kid, my mom would make me stay at the dinner table until I ate my green beans. I’d sit there for AGES. Needless to say, my adult home is completely green bean free.
No green bean casserole. Ever.
But I make a killer mac and cheese.
You have a great burrito!
I hate and have always hated green bean casserole. 😂 I always got away with not eating it because I hate mushrooms. Well one Christmas we went to my grandmother’s house, and when we were getting settled in, Grammy said to me “oh, Nat! I remembered you don’t like mushrooms so I made you your very own green bean casserole with none in it so you can have it!” I thanked her but inside I’m thinking “oh man, I have to eat it now, she made me my very own to be nice.”
So we sat down at dinner and all of a sudden she got really upset, looked at me, and said “oh, no, I am so sorry! I forgot to put your green bean casserole in the oven!”
So relieved. (For me it’s a texture thing, for the record. I mean, the flavor isn’t great but I could handle it if it weren’t so wet.)
I love green bean casserole IF it is made with frozen green bean. Canned green beans just taste sour and gross. Frozen and French cut is the best way.
But how WAS the tamale?
” just read a thing about how not everyone eats green bean casserole and I’m floored. Have you never had it? The green beans and the mushroom soup and the fried onions on top?”
Oh, please, elevate this boring thing.
Add Crimini/Portobello mushrooms which have been sautéed (as many as you like), chunks (and I do mean CHUNKS) of cream cheese, replace any liquid added (I think the original called for some milk?) with a huge splorch* of sour cream, a generous tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce, use fresh green beans which have been cooked halfway, and use all of those fried onions. Half in, half on top.
Trust me, this is A-MA-ZING!
I made 20 pounds of this, for a large (30+ people) family gathering, and it was the only thing that we ran out of.
*Yes, ‘splorch’ is a culinary term. This is a hill upon which I shall die.
I was in my 40s when I learned that green bean casserole was a Thanksgiving thing. I’ve had it before and even made it from time to time, but never as part of Thanksgiving.
I went to stay with a friend whose Mom was a classic Connecticut WASP for thanksgiving in college, and the culture shock was big. I never knew there were homes that legit had Thanksgiving dishes and tablecloths and pilgrim salt and pepper shakers and, just, everything, wow. And it was wall to wall casseroles – I am a very picky eater with a lot of texture issues and I generally am wary of foods where I can’t see the ingredients so I did a lot of polite rearranging globs on my plate to make it look like I had eaten and was very hungry.
I was never a fan of green bean casserole and then I dated somebody who said that was his favorite food. So when Thanksgiving rolled around, I couldn’t just say I wouldn’t make it. Instead, I made it from scratch – all of it – even the crispy onions. it was seriously one of the most delicious things I’ve ever had.
I was buying a book in the airport bookstore, something to read on the plane. The clerk said, “Have a good flight,” and I replied, “You, too.” I can never go back there.
Re: mishearing the waiter: Welcome to my entire life, basically–I have a moderate neural hearing loss (the result of being bonked in the head and knocked out in my grandmother’s car when I was 2 years old), and, as I explain to people, it’s not that I can’t hear; it’s that I can’t hear *distinctly”. I’ve only had hearing aids within the past 5-7 years or so (we were initially told that they didn’t work for nerve damage), which helps somewhat, but they still don’t solve the “not hearing distinctively” bit, which is how I end up at parties either reading the host’s books or playing with their cats. In other words, I *totally* get it. *hugs*
Chile today, hot tamale…? Um.
Grew up on dishes like GBC and such…also Jell-o salads (with cream/cottage cheese, 7-Up, pineapple, fruit cocktail, etc.) …my dad’s side of the family being largely from Kentucky. It’s a thing.
My dad’s mom used to make “banana salad”…halved banana planks smeared with sweetened Miracle Whip and rolled in salted peanuts. Everyone would ask for it at gatherings.
Damn, there’s weird food out there.
I LOVE green bean casserole, but my dad hates green beans because he ate them too much growing up so I don’t usually make it for thanksgiving. This year I’m thinking about making a small batch for just me and my mom because I like it so much.
Your waiter interaction is also painfully relatable, about a year ago I said “you too” after the Dominoes delivery driver said “enjoy your pizza” and I still think about it
First, I love tamales. I’m jealous you had one because I have to travel 45 minutes in good traffic to get a decent one.
Second, I need to get another signed copy of your book because it was one of the ones that got damaged in the tornado. Third, I really need to convince my doctors about ketamine.
I HATE mushrooms with a passion. I get nauseous. I’m glad you love it though. I still never yuck someone else’s yum.
And a merry burrito to all!
(I really want a tamale now. Or a burrito.)
I didn’t grow up with green bean casserole, but have (mostly) liked different versions when they’ve shown up on my plate.
The broccoli, cheese, and rice casserole sounds really good! Would you be willing to share your recipe for it?
I’m not a mushroom fan, but I’ve had the casserole…at some office Christmas buffet or someone else’s house. I think I made it once years ago, but with a different creamy soup. I prefer green beans almondine, and that’s what I’ll probably make for Thanksgiving. No marshmallowy sweet potatoes (yams?) though. I just bake them like a regular potato. We don’t have a large Thanksgiving gathering, so really, I’d settle for a pizza. Less cleanup.
You can always taco bout it with us.
Yuck for green bean casserole. Good, not mushy green beans I can have, but no mushroom soup. And, I feel you on embarrassment. Once I went to visit a friend and her dad reached his hand out so I shook it. He wanted my coat and was going to hang it up. It’s 40 years and I still remember.
Well on the plus side, even if waiter guy recognizes you, that is possibly one of the least weird customer reactions he had that day. Trust me having worked in customer services, you’re golden. (and I hope the tamale was great)
I have some hearing loss, so that’s part of my mishearing things, but also my brain shuts off sometimes and you can be looking right at me, speaking to me, and I hear every word, but my brain doesn’t understand what you’re saying, it’s like your speaking some alien language. I attribute it to my life long migraines. And I often reply with some weird response to what I thought I just heard, and people look at me weird.
I never had GBC until I got married, and once I tried to make it with frozen green beans, but that just wasn’t the same. I get nauseous with most mushrooms, but the salad button mushrooms that they use in Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup don’t bother me, or the Chinese straw mushrooms in many Chinese dishes.
I add lots of black pepper and less milk than they say (about 2/3rds of the soup can’s worth,) and I add most of the French’s fried onions on the top the last 5-10 minutes of baking, with only a little bit stirred into the casserole. It gets less mushy that way. And don’t overcook it, it can go in the oven after the turkey comes out to rest, and it’s ready in 20 minutes plus the 5-10 for the adding of and crisping of the onions on top.
(Turkey is less dry if allowed to rest before carving, and easier to carve, too.)
I also use a 9×11 pan so the layer of casserole is thinner, so more crunch, less mush. My ex liked it even better than his mother’s, and my family asks for it now at Thanksgiving.
I like the suggestion by commenter 13 Rebecca Stromgren about Worcestershire sauce, I’ll try it. Or a little hot pepper sauce.
I’d love it if you gave us the broccoli, rice and cheese recipe! I’ve never had it.
My family didn’t do sweet potatoes with marshmallows, we did sweet potatoes and apples peeled and cubed with ground cinnamon, allspice, powdered ginger, ground nutmeg, ground cloves, black pepper, salt, butter, brown sugar, stirred together and baked until the apples are fork tender but not mushy. Some people add pecans on top with the brown sugar and butter, but I don’t like mushy pecans the next day.
Have a great ketamine treatment!
Happy Tamales to all!
We do green bean casserole with cream of chicken. We don’t like mushrooms.
I like my green beans al dente, so the casserole version is usually overcooked for me. And i will only eat broccoli if drenched in cheese sauce to hide it’s furry nature. I’m headed to San Antonio this week for work (first time!) so I’m looking forward to tamales and other great Tex Mex. I’m hoping to be able to squeeze in a visit to NoWhere as well.
Tamale about it! I mishear people all the time. In my house we have an ongoing joke about how I can make something said innocently about laundry and mishear it into something weird and possibly sexual. LOL
Everytime I have green casserole that we make at my house I’m disappointed it doesn’t taste like my Great Aunt Genny’s. Its good but…
Also, fry your own onions – technically roast them. I forgot where I found the instructions but do a search, it’s out there.
Really simple and So. Much. Better. than the canned ones.
You have a great tamale! Maybe we can make it a thing. I’ve had both green bean casserole and cheese rice casserole. My kids and husband are aversive to mushrooms and casserole so I don’t make it.
Green bean casserole is a slimy assault against acceptable textures. Yes to cheesy broccoli rice though.
No, I have never had green bean casserole. It is not really a thing here in Canada. I do love green beans though. Freshly steamed. Maybe a bit of margarine on them. Anything more ruins the flavor.
Since I grew up in the late 60s, 70s and 80s, I do remember jellied salads served at holiday functions. Don’t know about those? Well, make a salad with lettuce, carrots, etc. Dice everything up, mix them into green jello, pour into a jello mold, let set and serve! Bleh! Yes, it was a disgusting as it sounds.
Happy tamales to everyone!
Still haven’t had GB casserole, my mom was kind of a health nut (when she wasn’t eating those fried onions out of a can—those I know!)
My body doesn’t like green beans. Even just the smell will cause me to start dry heaving. I do like broccoli casserole, but it has to be done well as many end up over cooked and mushy.
I’m flying to Texas this weekend to visit family for the week, and I’m so excited to finally visit your bookshop!! 😃
Being a proper Vulcan, my husband is vegan, so I make the GBC from scratch, without any dairy. I make a nice, thick mushroom gravy (and set a portion aside to go on his dairy-free mashed potatoes) and use frozen French cut green beans. Tastes just fine to me, and I don’t bother to make a separate one for myself; I already have to make him a Tofurkey and his own potatoes and gravy. It’s work, but it makes him so happy to have Thanksgiving like regular folk. It’s just the two of us, so I always get the smallest turkey breast I can find, which leaves me plenty of leftovers to make sandwiches with THE MOIST MAKER!
Your Pal,
Storm the Klingon
I just listened to Brynne Weavers book Tourist Season for a second time. Midway through the book I realized the tattoo that a character has is of an Ouroboros, I had thought it was of the aurora borealis. I have had an ouroboros tattoo for 28 years. I am an idiot.
My husband and I grew up with casseroles (midwestern parents), but we never cooked them for our family. Then my mom made a tuna noodle casserole when we were visiting, and my teenage son was FLOORED that he had never heard of nor encountered such a delicious dish before that day. He can’t understand why everyone doesn’t have casseroles all the time and why they don’t have them on menus in restaurants.
I’ve never had those casseroles. Drop a recipe so i could try those with my family.
Cheddars makes the best broccoli and cheese casserole. My family never even heard of green bean casserole until it started being advertised when my kids were little
I’ve always thought green bean casserole was a Midwestern thing (like jello salads in the South). I grew up in NJ and never heard of it until I was in my 30s.
My mom was also just not a casserole person, though. I’d heard of broccoli rice casserole and tuna noodle casserole, but never had either until I learned to make them myself.
Merry tamale and a happy menudo to you.
I’m from Québec. Never had green bean casserole, and not quite tempted by the mushroom soup. Not cheese on my brocoli either. I guess I’m not much of a casserole person, period? (The word conjures up images of a Campbell Soup cookbook which was great when I was 15. I’m not 15 anymore.) I HAVE had macaroni, I swear, though!
My boyfriend refuses to eat green bean casserole unless I make it all from scratch. Also I love cranberries sauce from a can… the kind that is gelled and shaped like a can. He won’t eat that either. He is such a diva!
First, I just love you for the tamale story. I thought those things only happened to my friend Mandy and me. We have a list of places we can never visit again.
In my family, I’m the only one who likes green bean casserole, so I stopped making it. I make a broccoli and cheese casserole that everyone loves, but it doesn’t include rice. I got the recipe from my ex-MIL years ago, and surprisingly, she didn’t tell me to put arsenic in it. Shhh…. I didn’t say that out loud…. I hope you’ve recovered from your travels.
I loathe mushroom soup and broccoli. I avoid those dishes at all costs.
I love Green Bean Casserole. I make mine with 2x the green beans and I like to use fresh or frozen over canned. I also crunch the french fried onions into tiny pieces before I add them, and I usually throw in a handful of grated cheddar cheese. I eat it at Thanksgiving dinner, and I’ll take home the leftovers and eat them the next day and the next (if there’s any left).
Homegrown green beans are yummy fresh off the vine.
Yes, to Green bean casserole…it’s the only time I can tolerate mushrooms. And my mom’s broccoli cheese casserole didn’t have rice, just broccoli, Velveeta, and Ritz crackers. YUM
Let’s taco bout your tamale!!
I love tamales. And “I will hear no slander on it.”
Onions make my stomach feel like the creature from Alien is trying to claw its way out of my abdomen. I avoid them at all costs. Broccoli too.
My digestive system is very weak and intolerant. If you want to see the list of all the normal foods that I can’t eat, look up Low FodMap diet.
(autocorrect tried to make diet into dirt and I feel like this is saying something)
Lisa
Possums don’t really get rabies. Their body temp is too low. Team Hailey.
Same here with the hearing. (Army Vet) Found something cool last time at Lens Crafters while getting my eyes checked. Don’t wear hearing aids because they go in your ear and I can’t stand things stuck in my head. My wife found this brochure about a OTC glasses frame that is also a hearing aid. Nuance Audio Glasses. My vision insurance helped pay for them, which has never happened with any other hearing product I’ve tried. Not trying to plug them, just a weird, cool piece of tech I didn’t know I needed.
Dave
P.S. If you stop by, they let you try them. Finest Kind
Over the weekend, I walked up to my friend that I was expecting to see, as he was looking at his phone, and saw that he was wearing a nametag that wasn’t his name, and I stood in front of him, staring in perplexity, and he stared at me, and said, “Hi!” I said hi back, and then realized it was NOT my friend, just a guy with the same height and hairline. My husband claims that I then ran away without a word, but I’m pretty sure I actually muttered, “Sorry!” as I did.
I laughed out loud and I’m on the public bus (is there really any other kind? Jeez)
Anyway, it’s Manhattan so no one cares.
Thank you for the laugh- and a great tamale to you and yours!
Lisa at #56, my husband is also a low-FODMAP kinda guy; I never realized how many recipes start with “Saute some onions and garlic!”
One of the things I’ve found helpful in modifying my cooking is that Penzey’s Spices has an “onion and garlic free” category for their spice blends. Saves reading all the ingredients every time!