I know many of us, including me, mourned the passing of Bone Crawford, but just in case you missed it:
The instructions to put together the Bumble said that it would take 2 people less than 30 minutes to put it together but Victor and I were standing on the lawn in the dark yelling at each other with flashlights for hours because it was complicated as hell and all the instructions were like, “ATTACH THE GLOPPERHOPPER TO THE SNORLAX WHILE SCREWING THE SNOCKLAP TO THE CLEEVE. MAKE SURE IT’S THE LEFT CLEEVE OR IT WILL EXPLODE. SEE IMAGE OF DANCE REQUIRED.”
At a certain point I wanted to just leave it until the morning but it looked like this and I was worried that we’d traumatize the neighborhood kids if they saw a Sasquatch that had been skinned and/or was flashing everyone.
Anyway, we did finally complete all the pieces and it was totally worth it because yesterday I was walking Dorothy Barker and a woman walked by with a little girl in a stroller and the little girl whispered something and her mom sighed and said, “Oh, you’ve gotta say hi to the monster again? Okay, last time though and then you have to take a nap” and the little girl giggled and all was right in the world.
On a slightly related note, I just got back from 3 days in Canada and I have more on that later (it was amazing…I miss you Canada!) but I’m so tired (in a good way) that I haven’t been able to move for a few days (thanks, chronic illness) and last night I was feeling like a bad mother because I’m too tired to put up a tree and plan a Christmas dinner so instead Hailey and I wrapped a piece of garland around a pole and cut out a tiny Rory and this is now our Xmas pole.
I can’t find the stockings so instead I’m going tape ziplock freezer bags to the mantle. Christmas will be the three of us and we are just going to reheat tamales and it will be fine. All that to say that it’s okay if your holiday doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
Happy holidays, friends!
PS. The actual instructions were about “secured clevis'” and “mounting sliding cotter pins” and are these real words? WTF.
I was really hoping and excited that you got a put it together project that had a” dance requirement”!!!
We haven’t put up a tree since Christmas of 2020. Part of that has to do with moving states and having our stuff in storage for a year and part of it has to do with still unpacking and part of it has to do with just not having the energy. I think at this point if a tree goes up it’s just staying up year round.
The Christmas pole and reheated tamales sound great. I’m visiting family a 7ish hour train ride away (on the train as I type this) and going back home on Friday. Merry Merry to the three of you and the fur kids. Your monster is delightful.
The phrases “secured clevis’” and “mounting sliding cotter pins” sound vaguely pornographic.
You’ve got tamales? Sheeeeet woman, that’s all you got to have for a perfect Christmas with your family ❤️
I am going to make a mousse pâté with a fresh baguette. And a Mount Gay gimlet or maybe some aquavit. And ziplocs sound like a great idea in case something is ‘drippy’. Enjoy-or don’t enjoy- these wacky times however you want!
We’re having a hodgepodge of turkey tenderloins, leftover ham, brussel sprouts, and baked sweet and regular potatoes plus some other things. Your Christmas sounds perfect to me!
Those are real words but only a mechanic would know them. I can’t find our stockings either! I have a fire place mantle this year! I put twine string under the mantle and clothes pinned some little ornament stockings on it.
The volume of the nerdy yelp I just made, seeing the Sasquatch, surprised me. That is EPIC! Also, yay Rory.
I got tired of trying to provide a perfect Christmas but feeling like all the onus was on me. So I made some changes: we’re not exchanging gifts, at all. Too many anxiety-prone people in the family that get stressed out over gifts. We get together with the adult kids and my nephew on whatever day works best for everyone that is closest to Christmas, and play board games. We have our traditional Christmas meal, which is now take-out sushi. If anyone is longing for a turkey and cranberries they are welcome to make it and bring it, and we will eat that instead; otherwise, its sushi and tempura. This has made Christmas way, way less stressful for me.
Um…so I’m sure I’m wrong but it sounds like you built a giant monster in your yard for all to enjoy and are beating yourself up about not putting up a Christmas tree? Christmas trees are basic; you obviously are not. Take the win, Jenny!