I wasn’t going to write anything today because I’m in a depression and that makes my head into mush, but then I looked at a comment on my last post that was utterly infuriating and I started to highlight it and scream about how terrible people can be and then I stopped and took a breath and realized that 1) anyone who would leave a comment complaining about the fact that I (*checks comment again*) have cancer is definitely hurting in a way that will not be remedied by me screaming at them and 2) that it can be really easy to lose your cool at strangers (and loved ones) right now because so many of us are furious about the world today. We are not meant to be able to handle this level of constant stress that comes from seeing people being brutalized and hurt. The fury boils over into so many places because it often has nowhere else to go.
I put my time and money into helping the world be better than we are. I call and write to politicians. I amplify others voices who are being quieted. But it can often feel like this is not enough…and that frustration can turn into fury that turns into cruelty to others…and sometimes even inward causing us to hurt ourselves.
If my depression wasn’t lingering I might have better words than this, so please forgive me for not making more sense…but I just want to say that your work DOES make a difference. Your kindness and understanding and grace and compassion breeds more of those things.
This doesn’t mean that you should just take the hurtful bullshit or allow people to hurt you. Use that hurt and anger to spur you on in positive ways. And perhaps my way of dealing with things is more quiet than yours. That’s okay. It’s takes all kinds of people and techniques to become the best versions of ourselves. But be gentle to yourself. Take care of you. Protect your heart. Take breaks. Find actions that will make positive changes in the world and to yourself.
Do not let the world turn you brittle and mean. Your kindness is not weak. Your softness is not quiet.
I hope this makes sense.
And on another (slightly-related) subject, I’ll be at the Bryan + College Station Library System this Saturday for a little read/talk/signing and it’s free to attend! Libraries are being attacked right now in so many ways so if you’re in College Station Tx come support your library and see me. And if you’re not near College Station, go to your local library and get a library card if you don’t already have one. It makes a difference. (Also, it’s free to attend, but the first 50 people to register will also get a free copy of one of my books at the session. Whoop!)
I’m so sorry that someone treated you like that. Kudos to how you chose to handle it. I wish I could be at you talk but I will be reading your book as soon as I can get my hands on it
I love you so much 🤩
I have gifted your book more than a dozen times since reading it. I’ve bought 13 copies of Furiously Happy and given them all away.
Still trying to keep one for myself.
Thank you for bringing smiles and laughter to us unhinged, unstable and on the verge of a breakdown.
Much love
Tons to love to you, Jenny and a quick adios to your depression!
You are amazing. Thank you for reminding us to be kind to ourselves and those who are hurting so much.
Thank you for being who you are! I used to think it was ok for be to be prejudiced against people who are prejudiced. That is was ok for me to hate the people who hated ‘my kind’. That was wrong for me. I’m not a pacifist, but I do know that love is the answer.
Well, maybe I want to complain about you having cancer too. Just plain rude of you really.
I am so sorry that someone so miserable and sad tried to steal your light. Clearly someone needs attention through any means necessary.Thank you for being so amazing and kind!
It’s true that some people suck balls, but there are more that are good and decent humans. You Jenny are that person. Your empathy and kindness is undeniable. You are “good people “. I’ve followed you since the first time you purchased 🐓 “knock-knock mf!” You’ve been a joy to follow. It’s hard to not be hurt by others words, but I find that when I think of those who add positivity to my life, those negative opinions from strangers just don’t matter.
I truly admire your continued optimism. I’ve been circling the drain for a few weeks now and have recently had my meds adjusted in yet another attempt to be better. With that being said, I’m still not a hateful person. I’m sorry to hear that a person felt the need to build themselves up by tearing you down.
Jenny. There’s No Words….that I can say…that would take back the callous hurtful words from another. You are the Pearl in an oyster shell. A lone woman in this sometimes cruel world that has changed millions and I mean millions of lives for the better. Because of you….some people still exist! I wish I didn’t have depression….etc. because my words would be more eloquent
But when I saw your post today…I felt furious for you.
For me personally….you are a Life Guardian. I also Suffer from Treatment resistant depression, ocd, adhd, panic, autoimmune illnesses up the wazoo…chronic Lyme…Epstein Barr…I have brain lesions ( from what? Who knows). I watch you face hurdle after hurdle after hurdle…and tell myself…I can do that too.
YOU ARE MY HERO 🌟💜🌟
I shake my head at you apologizing for not having “better words”. I am envious of all your writing, but your “bad day” writing always strikes straight to the heart of things. Non illegitimi carborundum.
Kindness will always win in the end. Being hateful and unkind takes way more time than a mere smile. My pain in the behind mom always said “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all”. Let’s all use our time more wisely. Speak more wisely. And if you need, just walk away.
Anyone who feels the need to be nasty to you, of all people, needs some help.
Wish I was close enough to see you at the library, but I don’t need a copy of Broken, because the year it came out, my husband and I surprised each other with personalized, signed copies. Very Gift of the Magi (or something.) They sit side by side in a place of honor.🙂
Your words make perfect sense, Jenny, and they sing to my heart.
Thank you, Jenny, for writing your blog even when you are too depressed to do so. You lift us all up with your humor and your interesting takes on situations.
But many of us are raised up by you just putting yourself out there when it feels like the last thing you want to do is write.
You are an inspiration. Love ya, lady!
If your blog isn’t for someone now, the way it used to be, that anonymous someone can keep their complaints to themself, and just not tune in. People change, blog topics change, as writers (who are human) change.. it sounds like the world is moving a little fast for anonymous. Maybe they can sit quietly with that until they feel ready to engage in a constructive way. But never you mind, Jenny – tons of us continue to love your honesty, courage, perseverance, and brilliant humor and insight 😊
Jenny,
I haven’t commented in a long time, but I have to say: You’re just the best.
Take care of you.
I don’t even know the comment you are referencing but complaining that YOU have cancer? That is da nutty.
You do good, you inspire, your dad is a roadkill taxidermist master, you haven’t killed victor (yet?), you stuck it to the old HOA but repurposing Bones Lancaster for different holidays, you have a rad store where you troll the haters with merch (I have the one-star review sweatshirt).
However, I do have a complaint about you…. and that is that you don’t visit San Francisco for a book talk it seems. I get Texas is big and that’s a lot of Texas stores to visit but we got a pretty cool bridge. And bread, lots of sourdough bread!
I’m trying so hard to give positive energy when someone is unnecessarily rude. It’s hard. I want to scream at everyone these days. I commend you for taking the high road!
Always the perfect words. You are such a light in this world that feels very dark right now. Love to you always.
Jenny, thank you for your kind, compassionate words.
Thank you for being a light in the darkness…. I live in Minneapolis where we are truly under siege and life is so very difficult.
Dear Jenny, dear Ms. Lawson! 🙂
Looking, reading and commenting as well from outside of the US (and Texas of course too) it is really good and helpful to see that quite obviously “not all Americans” are Trumpists or MAGAists (or whatever one might like to call them) and this gives me hope that perhaps there are even more people of your kind of thinking and that hopefully one day your country might get back to handling itself as well as the rest of the world in a “better” (whatever this might look like) way.
We as Germans had to learn our lessons the hard way and it’s really “funny” that another “German” (Donald Trump is clearly of German ancestry and his grandfather was one of the millions and millions of immigrants that make up the USA!) tries so hard to copy and repeat our former chancellor from Austria, Adolf Hitler.
There would be so much more to say and write and hope for but I guess this space is limited and all I can say is that I really hope for you and the other _nice_ US-Americans that they might learn from our history and reach decisions that are more clever than those that Germany chose some nearly 90 years ago. Before it’s too late and these cre… really manage to completely convert your country and lots of other parts of the world too into a big pile of broken pieces and lots of wounded and dead people.
Thank you once again and really wish you all the best! You and “South Park” give me hope for the US …! 🙂
Cheers, good health and once again all the best to you and like-minded nice human beings …! 🙂 You are really urgently needed that much as role models!!! 🙂
PS:
Really would have liked to fetch me one of your books directly from you but for obvious reasons I will thoroughly refrain from entering the US … 😉
(((HUGS))) I think it’s amazing that you were able to channel the hurt and anger to make something positive out of a turd sandwich.
It’s too easy to get sucked into the black vortex of someone else’s shitty behavior, and respond in kind.
The fact that you cared enough to think of them and how they were feeling to make them behave like that just shows what an awesome person you are. ❤️
Jenny, I’m so sorry – for you & for us all. As a writer & bookstore owner, I assume that you’re familiar with the writer Anne Lamott… but if you aren’t I can say that some of the only comfort I get these days is from reading her writing; she’s on FB but she also can be found on YouTube, & of course she’s been writing since at least the ’90’s. Like you, she’s funny & uplifting; give her a try if you haven’t already.
Sending love
Wish I could go! Sending love and hugs!
I miss my former self, from the before time. She isn’t quiet gone, but she’s lost. Anyway, it was probably an antagonist account, there’s so many of them and they’re just vile. Social media, man….
Jenny, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. This sentence “ Do not let the world turn you brittle and mean. Your kindness is not weak. Your softness is not quiet.” started me sobbing. because I just got home from a new Thai restaurant in my community, we were going out to celebrate my husband‘s birthday. the chef came out to see how we liked the whole fish he cooked us. His English was broken, but we understood him and we could tell how much love he put into the dinner that he cooked for us. The waitress that waited on us had a pretty strong accent, and I don’t know where she was from but she was a lovely waitress. At the table next to us, there was a very loud man who was talking to his friend about replacement theory, the dying of the white race in the United States and about people that carry a gun and why it was OK they were shot while they were peacefully demonstrating. I was first just sad, then sick then mad and then I just filled up with hate and I really wish that they weren’t there. I was distressed at my reaction, And realized I was as full of hate as he was. And then I got home and read your comment and I just started sobbing and realizing that I do have a choice about who I am, I can’t change him, but I can try not to have so much hate for him.
Hi Jenny – it’ a world that at first glance seems filled to capacity with cruelty and damaged people, but zoom in a little and you’ll see some amazing human beings just being present and countering the ugliness. As a Minneapolis resident I can attest to this – there is evil out there, but there are most definitely more of us than there is of them. I have been witnessing to that for over a month of government siege tactics, and when this is finally done, it’s the good ones I’ll always hold in my heart. People just trying to do the right thing. People like you. Haters gonna hate, but love trumps hate every time. Sending you love, Barb in Minneapolis.
I love you Jenny. Thank you for being you, and for being so thoughtful and generous while you yourself are struggling. You are simply the best.
Dear Jenny,
Part of what makes you such a powerful beacon of light for all of us in this world who are struggling with our physical health, our mental health, our imperfectness, is that you embrace your flaws, your struggles, your weaknesses, the things that drive you nuts or make you scared or sad, and you find humor as a way to keep moving forward even when it’s really, really hard.
And you have created a forum where we can support each other, or complain about how we are struggling, and we can identify with and embrace our own flawed selves, and struggles, and try to keep on keeping on.
This is such a great gift you keep giving us even as you are facing things in your life that you are having a hard time with.
The person who made those comments, is probably less angry at you talking about your battle with cancer, then they are really, really mad at your cancer itself possibly taking your beacon of light away that you share with us, which helps them face their own demons.
Take heart, the vast majority of your fans and followers understand, accept, appreciate, and identify with your battles and monsters and we often have similar struggles, and so we totally have your back.
To the person or people who would make those kinds of comments, my heart goes out to those who are angry, scared, struggling, lashing out, and depressed at everything that’s going on in this world, and are barely holding on, or it’s making them want to crawl into a dark hole, or strike out at anyone or anything that happens to cross their path, towards things that they feel are adding to their pain.
I see you, and you have my deepest sympathies, because I know you are in a whole lot of pain.
Try to be kind to yourself, and treat others how you would like to be treated. Every little bit of kindness can help make this world a tiny bit better, and every little bit of unkindness, makes it a little bit harder.