Deep breath. My upcoming book (How to Be Okay When Nothing is Okay) is coming out next month and I am going on book tour!
I am both terrified and excited in equal measures because my last book came out during covid so I have not been on a real book tour in over a decade.
What do I wear? Do I take the opportunity to buy a sequined kaftan because it’s the only way I can justify it to myself? Do I wear that fake hair fall that I bought because when I get scared I start sweating and my super thin hair looks like I’m straight out of the shower even though it’s pretty obvious that it’s not real hair at all? If I wear the fake hair and it gets too hot do I just take it off mid-reading and pet it like it’s a service animal for my anxiety? Do I give up and just go in my daytime pajamas because that’s who I really am anyway? Am I supposed to know how makeup works by now? How to scientists measure clouds? Why are all the c’s in “Pacific Ocean” pronounced differently? WILL ANYONE EVEN BUY THIS BOOK OR COME TO SEE ME? These are the questions that haunt me at night.
I think most of the links are live if you want to rsvp a ticket (seats are limited) and if you have anxiety about attending, please know that most of the audience will as well and you will be in the perfect place to have a mini-breakdown and can join me under the table as needed.
Also, if I’m not coming to any place near you, I will be doing a zoom later through Nowhere when the tour is over and it’ll be free to everyone so you won’t miss out. (More about that later.)
Here are the links for physical shows though if you want to come see me. (Please, please come):
Midtown Scholar in Pennsylvania
Gibson’s in New Hampshire (link is now live)
Barnes & Noble in California
Powell’s in Oregon (link is now live!)
Book People in Austin
Nowhere Bookshop live in San Antonio (SOLD OUT)
And eventually Nowhere Bookshop zoom (Not live yet because I don’t have a date but it’ll be sometime after I’ve recuperated a little from the physical tour)
I may have some more stops to add here soon but I’m really trying to do enough to let this little book have a chance without doing so much that I also have a little breakdown and that is a fine line.
Thank you, guys. This is a different type of book for me and I’m so worried and excited about it.
Bonus picture of me in my fake hair:
Please ignore messy the bookshelves. I just moved. Half a year ago. Stop judging me.
Jenny – please come to Canada!
No I don’t name my wigs but I’m totally going to start now
The fake hair is very pretty but just be comfortable. We all love you, wet head and all. Good luck on the tour!!
I see you made a mistake and didn’t list your stop in Lincoln, NE. Please come! We’re pretty nice here, except for those one people, and we won’t let them come to your show. Looking forward to the book!
Someday I would love it if you had an event in Reno NV
Don’t wear fake hair. Wear overalls, a T-shirt and hiking boots. I got screwed in the hair department and have fine, thin hair. But I have hair! Your followers don’t care what you wear or smear on your face. People will come for YOU not your ensemble. Please come to the Coachella Valley.
If the queen herself, Moira Rose, can not only name her wigs but give them personalities, you can name yours.
Also, I second you coming to Lincoln, NE. That would be amazing! Or you know Kansas City is close by, I’ve driven to St. Louis to see authors, Des Moines has Zombie Burger… plenty of options for you to come get some midwest love. 🙂
Jenny, you’re going to be just FINE (reference to Louise Penny’s Chief Inspector Gamache series)! You were great during your visit to College Station and you will be just as great at all of your book tour stops. Looking forward to seeing you again remotely whenever that happens.
I see that April 14th is unscheduled, that would be a GREAT day to drop into San Francisco and do a little visit at Noe Valley Books!
Hairy-et, love it! You are too funny!
If you took off Hairy-et and petted it like a service animal, and I was in the audience, I’d be sorely tempted to join you on the stage and pet her too.
OMG!!! I live in Harrisburg, PA!!! I can’t wait to come see you!!! I guess I’ll have 2 signed books because I pre-ordered it months ago.
Yesssss, Oregon! And the link wasn’t working now, either 😔 Can you reply with the location (There’s Powell’s books all over Oregon!) and day/time? I’ll be there!
(It’s in Portland on April 15th. 🙂 ~ Jenny)
Please don’t worry Jenny. PJs, caftan, real and/or fake hair are all acceptable to us, your family! (And if you could manage a trip to Oklahoma, that would be extra awesome! But take care of yourself, you are precious to us all! I’ll look forward to your Nowhere zoom.)
YAY! Huntington Beach! We never get any cool authors here! Please know, we’re not all monsters here. See you soon!
Book shelves don’t look messy to me. I’d go to Hunington Beach but it’s in the evening and I can’t drive at night anymore, plus it’s about an hour drive on California freeways. I’ll look forward to the zoom. I think going as yourself is the goal. If you dye your hair green, wear overalls, or put on false eyelashes it really doesn’t matter because people will want to meet You. Be yourself and you’ll be a success.
Please come to Kansas City!
The last time you were here I was on a trip with students.
Your bookshelves and your hair look awesome! I never would have thought that the extension was fake, I promise!
Also, I love Jones Road for makeup. It’s easy and doesn’t make middle-aged women look like they are going to a club (the drinking and dancing kind). I promise I don’t work for them! Some Miracle Balm (au natural) alone makes me feel more put-together
Also, schedule Minneapolis for a second round, if you ever do a second round! You’ll find lots of kindred spirits!
I will so come see you in Oregon, can’t find it on the Powell’s website yet!
(It just went live! ~ Jenny)
I’m so bummed that you aren’t coming anywhere in the Midwest where it’s even close to feasible for me to go 🙁 I hope you have a lovely tour and get through it with minimal anxiety.
Of course you’re going to be in Huntington Beach after I move to NorCal. *sobbing*
Moira on Schitts Creek named all of her wigs. Such a brilliant character. I think you’ve made a wise decision! Hope to see you in PA! I will be springing the news on my hubby when he calls after work in 31 minutes since he will be my taxi! 🥰
Buy the sequined caftan and you better wear it at the San Antonio session! (What about splurging on hair extensions for the tour? Then you wouldn’t have to keep up with the wig. But of course you should name the wig.)
You look very nice with or without faux cheveux (fake hair)
Def wear the wig, it looks great on you! Hoping you’ll consider coming the DC metropolitan way. This Fantastic Strangeling would love to see you in person. 😊
You’re amazing and you’ll be fantastic!!! You make me smile every time I read your posts. Hang in there 🙂
I say sequinned pyjamas and a sequinned pillbox hat with a great big feather. Sequinned slippers optional, because I know what I’m like with that kind of footwear and I wouldn’t wish it on you.
Also, I will buy your book, because I am not okay, but I would like to be.
Is it possible to order bookplates for our other books or do you sign books too?
I assume you’ve seen Schitt’s Creek. You wear the wig, (I trust you have named it), make a grand entrance bedecked in shiny finery and hold forth your views on the world. Take off whatever you want and toss it into the audience. Oh, wait, that’s rock music, not books. Be you and they will show up.
I’m really looking forward to the book! You will be awesome. Just be yourself! My former future daughter-in-law saw you in Santa Cruz years ago so that’s how I discovered you. Wish you were coming to Nor-Cal. Most of my family is in TX and we plan a trip there in late May but will miss your talk. Looking forward to the zoom.
Your faux hairs look amazing. As to what you should wear, it should be something with taxidermized animals all over it, or giant metal roosters. Im sure the fabric exists.
While I’m in southern California, Huntington Beach isn’t exactly close to where I live. So glad to know there will be a Zoom event, too! Thanks for that, Jenny!
Oh the books are in the shelves?? That’s an amazing accomplishment! I have lived in my current house for years and the books are still in a cabinet – not on the shelves yet!!
I was so excited to see CA listed, but I’m in North Bay so that’s about a 7 hour drive or a short flight so I will look forward to the online version. If you do decide to add a stop close to SF I will absolutely come! Bookshelves are meant to be messsy and chaotic. I don’t trust anyone who has a neat and tidy bookcase!
If one day you want to dress up and wear a wig, or a hat, and the next day you want to appear in pjs or a sweatsuit or caftan and no wig, it doesn’t matter, we love all your appearances in whatever form makes you happy that day.
Please come to Connecticut and I suggest RJ Julia’s in Madison or Atticus Cafe in New Haven or Barnes and Noble in North Haven. Ask the New Haven Independent online local news publication and Channel WTNH and WVIT to publicize it.
New Haven/North Haven and Madison in CT are about halfway between Boston and NYC along I-95.
We have nice book loving audiences who are used to celebrities and won’t make you feel weird, and great pizza in New Haven, I suggest Modern Apizza, and great fresh seafood in our eastern shoreline towns, and comfy AirBnBs and boutique hotels and inns.
And CT has the Book Barn used bookstore in the town of Niantic off of I-95, which has cats, dogs, bunnies, guinea pigs, goats, all roaming the grounds and buildings, with multiple book buildings with each sorted by book subjects in several locations around town, and you’ll feel like you are in books and pet lovers heaven!
I vote for you touring in your pjs. If this is who you are, then get comfortable, and invite others to do the same. What a fun experience this could be. Good luck and I’ll catch you on the backside for your zoom tour.
Yes, you should absolutely buy the sequined kaftan. Then, buy a matching jeweled turban to go with it. Boom! Hair problem solved! And, if the kaftan is long enough to cover your feet, you don’t have to worry about wearing and/or losing shoes. I am just a problem solver today!
I vote for you to tour in your touring pajamas!!!
I cannot believe it’s been over a decade since I saw you in San Diego!!
Messy? I don’t see it. Hairy-et looks good, but whatever is most comfortable for YOU.
I’m sorry I can’t play it cool about this… yayy you’re coming to Huntington Beach! *flails like Kermit the frog* I totally scooped up two tix for my emotional support husband and I!
The Barnes and Noble you’re going to be at also has very good juju. My guy and I used to go all the time when we were first dating 17 years ago. Memories! There also are comfy chain restaurants nearby that are great-Islands and Buca Di Beppo. My highly anxious self has an affinity for comfy booths and predictably good food with gf menus 😂 also there is the Old World Village nearby in HB which is a Bavarian village style little shopping center that’s totally charming to visit.
If you can I highly recommend visiting southern Orange County too while you’re here-particularly Laguna Beach for its artsy vibe and beautiful beaches (they have a great museum by the water too) and great Mexican food from either of the La Sirena grill locations.
You might also love San Juan Capistrano-visiting Los Rios street is like going back in time, and is rich with culture and history. Don’t forget to visit the Old Barn Antiques store if you go-great antiques and oddities at great prices, and then head over to McConnell’s ice cream shop to get the best ice cream ever. Lastly, the Orange circle in Orange is one of my favorite places in all of OC. I have yet to meet an unfriendly person in Orange.
The Groovy Ghost shop is a vintage lovers gem, as well as the Orange Antique Mall, and Bruxie or Rutabegorez are great eateries if you go. Sorry didn’t mean to be a tour guide! Just want you to have a great time while you’re here! So looking forward to your book tour stop in OC! Yippeee!!!
Minneapolis, Minnesota needs you too! We’ve been through a lot these past few months (and are still going through it) and you being here would make me feel so much better. 💙💙
YAY! I’m so excited! My daughter and I are coming to see you in Huntington Beach! Thank you for putting California on the tour. And you wear whatever the fuck you want and don’t worry about your hair. We all love you and understand your anxiety. We want you to feel comfortable
and welcome. ❤️
OH SWEET JEEBUS, YOU’RE GOING TO BE AT MY OLD B&N, IN HUNTINTON BEACH!
And, there is absolutely no way that I can go back “home”, in April, to see you.
I have never regretted not living there, as much as I do right now.
Honestly, do/wear/be whatever you want, because anyone coming to see you is in the same boat.
And, make sure that you head to the pier, and walk to the end.
Breathe, and listen to the surf.
Watch the surfers.
It’s soothing.
The best advice I can give as someone who owns a sequin caftan is to buy it and wear it with pride! I got mine from Lauren of Palm Springs and where that thing at ANY function I can! Hope I can make it to your Portland event!!!
(I literally just ordered one from her. Love! ~ Jenny)
I am looking forward to your new book. It’s been awhile since I was really okay. And my oldest child will tell you they they can’t remember being ok. So we’re each getting a copy.
Jenny, your bookshelves are perfect – they show your books are READ and loved, not shelf filler for a decor magazine. No offense to the fancy magazines, but around here books are for reading, not decoration. If you find a caftan which you love, get it and wear it! Caftans are amazingly comfortable. Also, your hair looks nice both ways – for real!. If you like the fuller look but find the hairpiece troublesome, give dry shampoo a try. Spray it at the roots and massage it around. Style as usual. I’ve had good luck with that absorbing scalp perspiration when it occurs. An earlier poster suggested extensions – they do work! And they would last the duration of your tour, so maybe that is a less fuss way to have hair that makes you happy for your public facing events? Liking what you see in the mirror is a boost to the self-confidence. I know when I like what I see in my mirror, that it takes my anxiety down a notch or two. You are worth the investment in you. ❤️
The hair and the bookshelves are great. I wish you were coming to this area. Tell you what; if you add a date in Nashville or Louisville, you can call it a pajama party so everyone wears them. I would go out in public more often if I could wear them everywhere.
The good news is that you can do pretty much anything you want and get away with it, because 99% of your audience will know how you are and love you because of it. (Note: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HOW YOU ARE!) I’m voting for the sequined kaftan, with or without the hair fall– unless it is legitimately your emotional support hair fall, in which case you could just carry it, possibly dressed out in ribbons. In any case, I wish I could be at one of your talks, but unless you add one in the state of Arkansas, or possibly in Memphis, I’ll have to wait for the Zoom thing. I’m rooting for you, regardless!!
Love,
yet another Gen X Jenni! 💜
I wear fake hair, it’s colors. I think it is obviously fake but people tell me it looks real all the time. Bc people are worrying about their stuff not me, or you. Obvs you should buy a sequin kaftan bc life is to short not to sparkle AND be comfy. Appreciate the neurotic mess acceptance and under table inclusion. Look forward to seeing you in PDX, how ever you are as comfortable, as you can be in public.
Consider a stop in Charleston, SC! We have some amazing independent bookshops here that would love to have you!
Wait. What are your night time pajamas? Mine are also my day time pajamas.
Also I thought your bookshelves were really nicely organized soooo. Yeah. I need to be tidier? But also I have toddlers and I’m getting ready to move soooo also I totally don’t?
To answer your questions yes to the sequin kaftans, yes to day time pjs, yes to the fake hair and taking it off and petting it like a service animal. I don’t know how scientists measure clouds maybe a bendy ruler??? And a huge hell yes people will show up to see you. My friends and I can’t wait for this book!!!!!
I can’t wait to see you in Portland! Powell’s is amazing! I’m so excited!
Oh, my, I just said a bad word in shock that you’re coming to my town! Ticket purchased!
Yippee! May the tour go well. Excited for an online version. And please… those shelves are more tidy than the masses my hubby and I have about.
Come to CT! We have bookstores here! Better yet come to my house. I have cats and there are no crowds.
Wear your hair! We’re getting the book! Those of us close enough will come to the book tours. You have nothing to worry about. Wear whatever you want; we’re still going to love you! You’re awesome just the way you are! We love you for you! I’ll see you on the zoom because I live in MD. I’m definitely buying the book. The title is everything!
I will 1000000% see you in NH and I can’t even express how excited I am!
Sold out! Darn! Next time.
When I finished grad school, I found a dress with flamingos on it that I really wanted to buy for graduation, but it was a bit spendy. A dear friend told me, “Did you not know? It is, in fact, a requirement to graduate that you buy a dress with flamingos to wear under your robe.”
So, good news! It is now a requirement of book tours that you wear a sequined kaftan. Enjoy!
Apropos of nothing: just saw this, thought of you.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1276150607742131
(Taxidermy display in a shop in England.)
I’ve never lost the description of your strangelings coming to a signing, pale, a little shaky and scared but still brave. I want to go to the Harrisburg one, I wish PA was smaller.
Fake hair looks fabulous, wear it with the sequined caftan. I’m very excited for this book (as I am for all of your books). Wish you came to Canada so I could see you!<3
I bought a ticket for thou shalt not be alone in Austin
This is so exciting and honestly, I’d be the same freaking out over my hair. Good luck and enjoy xxx
Rider21:
A collective anxiety attack for no reason whatsoever would be kind of funny. We’re going to need bigger tables and bathtubs for our safety. My new kinda fun. Oh and forts. Cardboard boxes for humans. You’re such an inspiration.
As a wigmaker, it is my duty to inform you that it is a violation of Wig Law to take off your wig in public and on stage… unless you go full on drag queen with it. Stand up, snatch that unit off your head defiantly, and bust out with a rousing chorus of “AND I AM TELLLLLING YOOOOOU… I’M NOT GOOOOOIIIING…”
Your Pal,
Storm the Klingon
Hair looks great! Thank goodness you have books and the spines are out and not colour coded! Real book shelves are just like yours.
Hello! This hit me in the best way — I’ve definitely had weeks where everything feels out of control, and it was refreshing to read someone else talk about that without pretending it’s easy. The part about letting go of the “perfect” version of things really stuck with me. It’s comforting to know other people struggle with the same stuff, especially when you don’t see that side of people online very often. Thanks for writing something so honest.
All the “c’s” are in Pacific Ocean because it IS the sea. (groan) Scientists use a gray scale to measure the clouds. (yeah he is crazy this morning)
Don’t do the sequined kaftan because it will weight a sh!t-ton and you will be miserable. But, a wild tie-dyed kaftan and a matching head wrap might make you feel like some type of Egyptian goddess. That could be good for your self esteem, but if you run off into the travel section to cry it would at least look like you escaped from one of the books.
I was bummed i missed the last time you were in Harrisburg PA. so excited to get my ticket for this event!!!
I would be disappointed if you DIDN’T take your hair off mid-reading and pet it like a support animal… 🙂
Both Gibson’s Bookstore and the Concord Center for the Arts are awesome – we look forward to seeing you in NH!
Your bookshelves are awesome and look well-loved. I like the wig too. I don’t think it looks fake, but I’d definitely have the same anxiety about getting too hot, because when my anxiety spikes, my temperature does too.
If you ever want to come up to Olympia, WA, there’s a great little bookstore here called “Browsers” that may be able to host you!
Go for the hair if it makes you feel good, and yes, just whip it off if it gets too hot. Alternatively, you could convince one of your sweet animals to nest on your head for the tour and instant support animal. I vote for sparkles or pajamas, whichever is most comfortable. I wear my daytime clothes to bed, so maybe wear your kaftan to bed the night before and, voila! The best of both choices.
My superpower is not being able to identify a wig. Seriously. I complimented someone on their gorgeous braids and totally embarrassed all of my companions, who were mortified on my behalf. I think Hairy-et looks great! Looking forward to the Zoom so that I, too, can wear pajamas!
I’m sorry to miss your Austin visit, but unfortunately I’m too broke to be able to afford the event cost, much less your book…I’ll pick my copy up later, like I did with your other books, when I can catch it on sale. You’re going to do GREAT, though, I have zero doubts about that!!!
I wasn’t even able to wear a wig when I was going thru chemo because they creep me out (not when they’re on someone else’s head, of course, just on my own), but if I COULD I’d definitely go with one of those “rave” wigs—you know, those outrageously colorful, sparkly ones—I wore hats instead (my favorite being a bear head one with his mouth “eating” my scalp). Would you like to borrow it?!?
I’m also a die-hard fan of pretty much anything that sparkles (my husband says I’m like a crow or magpie) so I was pleased to see that you’ve already ordered your sequined caftan! Between that, PJs, and maybe a couple of those lovely dresses you have (with the pockets) you’ll be set with multiple options to choose from, depending on your mood at the time! You’re brilliant and don’t you forget it!!!
If you ever tag along with Victor to Tokyo, I’m sure I’d be one of a large group of fans here who’d come from far and wide to see you!
Is it safe to go to a reading of yours on April Fools Day? You, who are known for shenanigans including leaving an enormous chicken for your husband to find on Not April Fools Day? What if we upset /inspire you?!? It could be mayhem!
I mean, be honest, wouldn’t you like to attend a book signing and have the author remove their hair and start petting it? Don’t you know your audience lives for this???
O Jenny, your people will come. If you were coming anywhere within an hour’s drive of Berkeley,CA wild horses couldn’t keep me away and I’m sure that those of us who are within that distance of the places you are going feel the same way. You are amazing and we love you, even if you were to spend the whole reading under the table. We Bloggessians are a loyal bunch. Big hug.
You can wear anything at all and we all will still be HAPPY TO SEE YOU. I like the idea of using a wig as a support animal, too. Also, your bookshelves look WAY better than mine, and I moved here in 1991.
I’m so excited that you will be in Pennsylvania! No pressure, it’s all cool, just very happy
Those shelves look perfect! And I can’t wait for the Zoom!
I love the fake hair and it looks totally real! If it makes you have more confidence and less anxiety wearing it, then please wear it! We will love you and you will look fantastic. No one will judge you.
Wait is it No Where or Now Here bookshop?
(It’s Nowhere like, there’s Nowhere I’d rather be. ~ Jenny)
I n0w earn 0ver a few th0usand d0llars a week w0rking from h0me. It still feels unreal — I was .unempl0yed just m0nths ag0. I thank G0d f0r this chance, and I’m passing it f0rward to anyone wh0..
wants it………………….….….….…. https://da.gd/smart33