So last week my book came out and it was so exciting and terrifying and immediately my blog started giving me error messages and completely crashed until I finally fixed it today BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DID.
I tried to keep everything updated on threads because that’s where I hang out most and so if you were following me there you already know many of my adventures, including when I heard someone getting murdered at midnight outside my hotel room in NYC and when I went to check it out (because I’m helpful and stupid) I realized the screaming was coming from the room next to mine and so I recorded 20 seconds of it to give to the police but then I realized that I was actually listening to the most dramatic sex ever interrupted with laughter about cameras and turns out it was someone shooting p0rn. So the next morning I’m being driven to my first book tour stop and I decide to send my sister the video but I’m listening back to it (with my headphones, obviously) to see if I’d picked up how incredibly loud it was and I could barely hear it so I kept turning it up louder and turns out that I couldn’t hear it because I’d forgotten that I’d unplugged my headphones so that I could charge my phone and I was actually playing 12 seconds of terrible p0rn bloopers over and over for my very professional driver. And then I had to text my publicist to tell her that I was not listening to 12-seconds of p0rn bloopers on a loop for lascivious reasons just in case the driver they’d hired for me was concerned that I had some sort of problem. This happened exactly one hour into a five hour drive. *sigh*
But aside from numerous ways I embarrassed myself it was lovely. I went on The Today Show on the weekend and panic-rambled and managed to refer to explosive diarrhea and drool and feet falling off in the first sentence. Below is the dress I wore which doesn’t look like vaginas unless I point out that it looks like vaginas and then all you can see is vaginas. I’m so sorry.
Then right after this, one of the long-time hosts quit but I don’t think it had anything to do me. Probably.
The link to the video is here and it will make you feel better about yourself in comparison because what the fuck am I doing with my hands and also, did I say “my foot fall off”? That’s not even a real sentence. ;/
In spite of the fact that I was weird as hell on live tv I got asked to come on NBC News Now. I was afraid I’d forget what to say so I just wrote everything on my leg as a cheat sheet. This is fine and totally normal.
I had my first two tour stops in New Hampshire and Pennsylvania and they were so much fun, particularly because everyone there was the same level of anxious/weird as me and when I pondered hiding behind a chair to catch my breath the whole audience was like, “DO IT, FRIEND. DO YOU WANT SOME XANAX?”
If you are considering coming to my next stops and are nervous, please know that it is the kindest group of people you will ever meet in your life and everyone is on your side.
(Special thanks to Gibson’s Bookstore and Midtown Scholar Bookstore for putting these together beautifully and to Kate Baer and Rebecca Lavoie for moderating!)
I’m home resting for a few days but I’ll be back on the road for a few more stops so please come if you can.
April 11th – San Antonio Book Festival! I always go and usually moderate for other authors but this time I’m a featured author! It’s free for everyone, so much fun, so many amazing authors. And Nowhere is the official bookseller so we will be there selling books for all the authors and I’ll be doing a signing after I speak if you want your book personalized. 🙂
April 12b (technically April the-unlucky-number but I don’t like to write that number if I can help it. I realize this is weird.) Huntington Beach California Barnes and Noble – Reading, discussion, signing! (I believe this one is almost sold out.)
April 15th – Powell’s in Portland Oregon has rented out Revolution Hall. That’s not intimidating at all, she whispered while hiding under her desk. Reading, talking, signing! Please come!
April 18th – Mom 2.0 : Closing keynote and a signing, I think? I was supposed to be doing BookCon that day which is the biggest book conference that exists, I think, but I declined it when I found out their parent company has ties to ICE. No judgment on others who go. It was just an easy thing that I could say no to when the world seems a little bit on fire.
April 27th – Book People in Austin rented out a whole church for this. What. This one is going to be weird but in the best way. I might bedazzle my kaftan for this one. Come!
Then there’s one at Nowhere that already sold out and when I’m done with all of this and recover I’ll do a free online one at Nowhere in case I’m not coming anywhere near you.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMFG Y’ALL. I just got a text from Nowhere and we get emails from the American Booksellers Association that tell us the Indie Bookstore Bestsellers for the week, and HOW TO BE OKAY WHEN NOTHING IS OKAY is going to be debuting at #3 on their bestseller list! I’m literally crying. This book is different in many ways and I was so afraid that people wouldn’t like it, and the fact that it’s a bestseller on such a special list as one compiled by Indie Bookshops (MAGICAL) is even more special. Holy shit. I don’t even remember what the rest of this blog post was supposed to be about. I’m done. I have to go lay on the floor now.
You have no idea how much I really, really, really love your book. You do you, Jenny. That’s why we love you.
Every time I read one of your posts, I’m reminded of how much I love & adore you, Jenny! Your books are pretty cool too. Thanks for all you do!
Can someone help me, I am a part of the book club and I am trying to remember if we are getting the new book from the club or if I need to order it?
Thanks!
(We’re doing another book for that month. 🙂 ~ Jenny)
Thank you for coming to NH. We’ll always have your back and plenty of Klonopin.
Damn! You sound like a fun gal to be around. And what a huge audience in that photo. Reminds me when the Talking Heads came to UCSB. Congrats on the response to your new book. We all knew (and know) you could do it. Wheeeeeeee! (PS:don’t forget the undies).
You got them all to put pencils in their mouths! (spelling pencils carefully) And you could tell which ones didn’t like it which was even more Awesome! We all just grin & bear it sometimes – mom joke. btw my son says mom jokes are worse than dad jokes & that means I’m better at bad jokes, not that my jokes are worse. Thank you for being brave enough to share authentically with us. We need it, at least I do.
I love your dress (!) and do not see vaginas. Possibly because I’m only vaguely familiar with what they look like. Your porn story is hysterical and on point for my life as well. I really need your new book in my life. Is it available as an eBook? I only read eBooks because of an irrational fear of a stranger touching a book before me. You cheer me to keep me sane.
Dear Jenny, dear Ms. Lawson!
Sorry for having to mansplain once again: Those are NOT vaginas but if anything at all from “below” those would be vulvae.
The vagina is usually not visible at all. And what you are usually referring to as a “lady’s garden” is the outer visbile part. And this is called vulva and NOT vagina, the inner “tube-” or “hose”-thing connecting the vulva to one’s uterus.
I really do admire you and your work from the bottom of my heart and soul, but it really annoys me to have to “mansplain” female genitalia to a woman. Sorry!
But apart from that: Keep it up your good work! And as always good health and all the best to you! And thanks a lot! 🙂
Thank you for the laughs, via this post and your new book. I really needed them.
Ridiculously proud of you my online friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️!! Every time I see a clip I smile. Tribe. (Love the book. So good. Listening to the audio because I personally love hearing you tell your story.)
ALL THE HIGH FIVES!!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌😊😊😊
Wish I lived closer to one of these locations (Montana is so far away! Lol!!) I would he there in a heartbeat. Sending all the juju to you regardless! ❤️
I can’t wait to see you in Portland!! I’m going to try to not be too weird (no guarantees lol) when I get to meet you!
I got up shortly before 7:00 AM just so I could see you on the Today show, but what I didn’t realize is that there were actually 3 Today shows: “Today” from 7:00-8:00, followed by “Weekend Today” from 8:00 to 8:30, followed by “Saturday Today Extra” from 8:30 to 9:00. And your appearance was on the third one, so I ended up watching a lot more Today than I was expecting, when I actually could have stayed in bed an extra hour and a half. Oh, well 🙂
I wish I could see you in Portland but it’s just not possible. I just got “How to be OK” yesterday (thank you) and can’t wait to start reading it. You are so amazing and funny and wonderful! Stay weird! Love you Jenni!
Your NH tour stop was great fun! I got to introduce my wife to your work (she had a great time in Concord, too). And then last night, I played poker with my sons and a bunch of their friends and one of them saw the book on the table, so I read “Murder Potatoes” to them and you may have a bunch of new 20-year old fans now :).
I’m so excited! Your book was on the kitchen counter this morning. (Not by magic, my daughter brought it in from the mailbox I never check.) I was tempted to take it to work, but I thought it might be frowned upon to be reading when I’m supposed to be proctoring a state test.
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing that video. It’s been a sh*t day at work and you reminded me to sit back and smile. I’m on pg6 of How to Be Okay. Hopefully I’ll get a bit farther tonight. I loved the shoes you wore in the video. I’m forever looking for cute shoes that I can actually wear without damaging my feet even more than I have (3 torn tendons and 1 broken bone so far). I know from your previous posts and books that you have issues with shoes vs RA. If you can, please tell me the brand, where you got them, anything.
Thank you for the smiles and tips and everything you’ve given the world, especially on sh*t days.
We love you the way you are you are and so everyone who meets you including tv présenter so not to worry be who you are that and we will Allway be there for you no matter what so shine that you do best even people who don’t know you love you it’s call what you have Charisma so enjoy it you are full of it ❤️ 💖 😊
When I used to teach college students to prepare for GMAT and GRE, I gave them the smile/pencil tip. Because guess what! People who are happy do better on tests. Stress and Anxiety triggers your fight or flight brain and that brain knows nothing about grammar or math or logic.
And you can trick your mind to be happy with the horizontal pencil, even when you are stressed about graduate exams!
I haven’t finished the book yet because I’m trying to make it last longer. I love it! It may be your best! I’m still begging you to add a stop in Kentucky, Tennessee, or Southern Indiana. The dress is cute, and TBH, I don’t see lady parts. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom with a mirror. I must have forgotten what everything looks like. 😄
So happy for you, Jenny!! You so deserve all the wonderfulness from your book tour! (And we all knew your book was going to be bestseller.) 🩷🩷🩷