more than meets the eye – Page 7

I’m still alive in here.

The last year has been hard for me. I have glimmers of myself. I have hours each day when I can smile. Some days I come out of the fog and feel the terrific relief from coming out of the underwater of depression or whatever it is that haunts me. I struggle through the dayContinue reading “I’m still alive in here.”

Up and down and up again.

If you’ve read here lately you know that I’m coming out of one of the longer depressions I’ve ever dealt with and although it’s still up and down I’m having more and more days when I’m myself again. Those days are bright and warm, and coming back is like the first brilliant, life-saving breath after spendingContinue reading “Up and down and up again.”

She brought light even in the darkness.

Last night I dreamt about a blind girl who lived in a forest made of night. Her hair was alive and each strand held a lit candle, making her a human candelabra. It seemed a sad irony that she wasn’t able to appreciate the light she gave off, but when I watched her walk though theContinue reading “She brought light even in the darkness.”

Sometimes the darkness can be beautiful. But sometimes it’s a real bitch. Depends, I guess.

Hi. I’ve been a little missing lately. Not just here. I’ve been missing a bit inside my head, which in some ways is good because my head is not always fun to live in. I don’t know if the depression I’ve been dealing with off and on for the last few months has just worn meContinue reading “Sometimes the darkness can be beautiful. But sometimes it’s a real bitch. Depends, I guess.”

Every day is Mother’s Day

I wrote this 10 years ago but it still perfectly expresses how I feel. Mother’s Day is fraught with all sorts of weird emotions and I’m so lucky to still have my mother, who loves me and a daughter I adore. Most people don’t get both and so I feel undeservedly lucky each year theseContinue reading “Every day is Mother’s Day”

Every Friday night. And Saturday night. And every night basically.

Every Friday night starts the pictures of friends who are out at parties and dinners and with more friends and strangers. I love to see them dressed up and happy but a tiny bit of myself looks at those pictures and feels like a loser because my anxiety disorder makes me run from crowds andContinue reading “Every Friday night. And Saturday night. And every night basically.”