Category Archives: Random Crap

Victor: Ew. Did you just pour tap water into your cereal? me: Yes, because there’s too much milk in the milk. Victor: What. me: We only have whole milk but I like 2% milk. What’s the other 98% of 2% milk? It’s gotta be water, right? But also, why doesn’t it cost 2% as muchContinue reading “Milk is confusing.”

I wrote this series of social media posts last night because I thought it was funny but I didn’t it because I couldn’t tell if it was one of those things that’s just entertaining to me late at night when I’m punch drunk, but this morning I still think it’s funny so here you go.Continue reading “Baby Jesus doesn’t need your likes. Probably.”

You know when you find a big puddle of water where there shouldn’t be a big puddle of water and you’re like, “Ugh, I hope that’s not pee” and then a second later you realize that it’s water that has run down the wall because there’s a leak somewhere and you suddenly are like, “Fuck.Continue reading “Ups and downs and ups”

Sometimes when my head is a mess I have to distract myself with movies. You’d think that ridiculous comedies would be the best thing for depression but I’ve found that the cognitive dissonance on not being able to laugh at something that I know should be funny actually makes it worse and so instead IContinue reading “I need a distraction”

It’s Friday, y’all. You know what that means? It means that it’s time to step into my office so I can show you all of the insta things I loved lately that I’ve been saving for you. (Yes, you.) Because you deserve a damn break right now. View this post on Instagram A post sharedContinue reading “It’s Friday, y’all.”