Random Crap – Page 2 – The Bloggess

I still haven’t found what you’re looking for and maybe that’s for the best.

This morning I looked at my blog analytic report showing the phrases people googled that brought them to my blog because I always find it intriguing and also a little terrifying and I thought you might enjoy it too because these were some of the top searches that led y’all here this year: “OUTIE BELLYContinue reading “I still haven’t found what you’re looking for and maybe that’s for the best.”

I’m complicated so this post has two titles: “SO EXCITED TO BE SICK” and also “What to read in February”

You know how I’ve been feeling like shit lately and I’ve been that sort of exhausted that is either “definitely dying” or “clinically depressed” and I can’t make myself get up and my brain is a brick and I lay down on the floor and think, “if only I could stop breathing for a littleContinue reading “I’m complicated so this post has two titles: “SO EXCITED TO BE SICK” and also “What to read in February””

An open letter to Maria Menounos and 23,000 other people I’m hiding from

If you’ve been reading here you already know that my anxiety disorder is a total dick and if yours is too then you probably also know the pain of being unable to return phone calls, emails or make plans to do things that normal people would jump at, but in case this is not you,Continue reading “An open letter to Maria Menounos and 23,000 other people I’m hiding from”

Spoiler: I probably didn’t inhale a bunch of arsenic yesterday and even if I did that’s probably not why I was in the hospital an hour later.

So yesterday I decided to do a game of “What is this and am I dying?” on instagram: (if you can’t see it here just click on “view on instagram”.) As always, the comments did not disappoint and I love all of you. Particularly the people who pointed out that it could be old cocaineContinue reading “Spoiler: I probably didn’t inhale a bunch of arsenic yesterday and even if I did that’s probably not why I was in the hospital an hour later.”

Isn’t my whole body pre-cancerous?

I didn’t write about this last month because I was dealing with a depression that made me unable to put the right words to things but I’m feeling like I’m coming out of the dark now (KNOCK ALL OF THE WOOD) so now I can tell you that my body is trying to kill me,Continue reading “Isn’t my whole body pre-cancerous?”

It’s Friday and you need this

It’s Friday and that means it’s time to step into my office so I can show you the videos I’ve been saving for you. They will make you laugh and laughter is medicinal so it’s almost like I’m giving you free drugs. You’re welcome.