Um…Ow. Have you tried just rubbing them? Because they’re only going to retreat further if they see that coming. And no, I don’t care if you did “warm it up in the oven first”. Put it away, asshole.
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I’m sorry if I owe you something but Hunter S Thomcat has my to-do journal and the scissors and he says we all need to just relax and enjoy the weekend. I don’t make the rules.
Apparently Hailey gave themselves an actual concussion by throwing their head back into a metal pole while laughing too hard and then almost did it again while fake swooning in the doctors office and this is exactly how I know they are my child.
Sleepy baby. HE’S JUST SLEEPING, I ASSURE YOU.
Slo-mo of Dorothy Barker and her toy. The noise of the squeaky toy slowed done is my new favorite thing.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
Extract them from where?
I’m a bit frightened, and wondering who would be buying this and disposable plastic vaginal speculums. Put the two together and I am pretty sure that would constitute cruel and unusual punishment.
I agree, Mark. Why would *anyone* be buying plastic disposable speculums when the old-fashioned metal ones are so much better for the environment? Love the planet, people.
I clicked on “share your own customer images” with eager anticipation!
And got nothing 🙁
That’s hot.
I think somebody should use this on Ann Coulter though.
Groowwwwllll, I think I need to go tell Kevin about this! (Where the hell do you find this shit anyways?)
HA! I clicked over thinking it was going to be some kind of La Leche League device for moms with inverted nipples, and… no. Or hell, considering the sadistic, snotty, superior hag I got for my La Leche Lady, maybe it is. Although maybe that’s not necessarily a home improvement.
I just woke up. I’m punchy. I dunno.
Oh dear god! WTF?
I’m new *waves* and very scared at the moment. Make it stop.
Christina – It only hurts more if you resist.
okay, I totally had to Google to find out the REAL use
Only 2 in stock – ORDER SOON! whhhuuuuut the fuck!?
i have small nipples (or maybe my ungodly huge boobs just make them look small) but never in a million years would i try this shit…
great, i’m going to be holding my boobs all day now, reassuring them that everything is ok
Finally, your true warped sense of humor comes out.
Welcome to the rest of the world!
OMG – these must be popular if there’s only 2 left! I clicked on the comments there and they are hilarious!!!!
Who knew?
okay. amazon.ca only sells books, cds, videos & games. I used to be kind of mad about that, but now I am SO greatful.
where does this stuff come from?? and who, for the love of god, is out there buying this stuff??
Again, you always have the best closing lines. Snort.
Speculum is one of those words that make me curl up into the fetal position and clamp my va-jay-jay shut.
The word “marriage” used to do it to me too……
Marnie, don’t start talkin’ vajayjays…the comments will take over the blog.
Is that thing for HUMANS? Or barnyard animals?
Best comment on amazon: Tried it out at my last family reunion. Some of my relatives have no sense of humor.