So last night I was laying in bed with my cat Posey (whose entire family was accidentally killed by my father-in-law 12 years ago) and I’m all “Posey’s the only surviving member of his family. He’s like a member of the holocats” and Victor just keeps watching Deadliest Catch and I’m like “Get it? Holocats?” and he’s all “Yeah. It’s a holocaust joke about cats. That’s completely inappropriate.” And I’m like “But it’s only funny when it’s in writing because most people would think I was saying ‘Hall of Cats‘. Because they don’t remember the holocaust.” and Victor’s all “Or because it’s inappropriate to make Jew jokes about your cat” and I’m all “Whatevs, dude. You’re just jealous that you didn’t come up with holocats” and then there was this long silence and I’m all “You’re trying to think up a better cat holocaust joke aren’t you?” and Victor’s all quiet and then sighs resignedly and is all “...Yeah” and I’m like “Good luck, buddy. Because I bring the thunder” and then like 30 seconds later Victor’s all “Posey’s just upset because he remembers Meowschwitz”.
So yeah…fuck me.
Updated: Okay, I actually wrote this post two weeks ago but I decided not to publish it because it seemed more offensive than normal and also because Victor was winning but then all of a sudden it hit me and so I ran into Victor’s office and I’m all “HE’S PROBABLY JUST GRATEFUL THAT HE SURVIVED THE PURRED REICH!” and Victor gives me this angry ‘WTF?‘ look and I’m all “Posey. You know…like the Third Reich…but for cats?” and he mouths “I am on a fucking. conference. call” but I suspect he was just faking it because he just doesn’t want to admit how awesome I am.
Comment of the day: I actually like “Holocats” better than “Meowschwitz.”
Other possible cat/third reich jokes:
– Feline/Frauline = Freline
– Purr/Führer = PührerI don’t know. Kitler? Herr Ball? Mein Katf? Catstapo? ~ scott