Spoiler: I probably didn’t inhale a bunch of arsenic yesterday and even if I did that’s probably not why I was in the hospital an hour later.

So yesterday I decided to do a game of “What is this and am I dying?” on instagram: (if you can’t see it here just click on “view on instagram”.) As always, the comments did not disappoint and I love all of you. Particularly the people who pointed out that it could be old cocaineContinue reading “Spoiler: I probably didn’t inhale a bunch of arsenic yesterday and even if I did that’s probably not why I was in the hospital an hour later.”

And that’s why I don’t trust science.

People always say that every snowflakes is unique, but I’m not sure if I believe it because really who’s checking? Probably somebody just looked at a few dozen snowflakes and said, “Fuck, these things all look slightly different” and then just shrugged and wrote down that “no two snowflakes are alike” because he was cold and ready toContinue reading “And that’s why I don’t trust science.”

Jesus. The google searches I’m going to get for this one…

Facebook just suggested I wanted to see a story entitled: “Man arrested for breaking into funeral home to perform sexual act on female corpse” My first thought was, “YOU DON’T KNOW ME, FACEBOOK.  That is NOT the kind of weird shit I want to know about and I really don’t appreciate what you’re implying.” My secondContinue reading “Jesus. The google searches I’m going to get for this one…”

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