Several people sent me links to this new site that analyzes your past tweets and comes up with what your next tweet will probably be according to your personality and past habits. I assume the average person gets stuff like “I need coffee” and “Good morning everyone!” Not me.
Things that “Yes, That Can Be My Next Tweet” predicts I will say in the near future:
“Quick. Someone get me a replacement cobra.”
“MOTHERFUCKER. Ha!”
“My alligator is worsening. I need an 11 cent payment for a cave.”
“Here.”
“I never thought I’d like a firey crash so much.”
“No, that taxidermied pig dressed as my special lady is not leaving me.”
“I’m ready to hate me now.”
“I NEVER WORE THAT, VICTOR. So stabby.”
“I need two perky young priests and three squirrels. After insurance.”
“There is that shoe again. I’m worried. Where’s the bucket?”
“Okay, three words: It’s like, FUCK YOU! YOU’VE CHANGED.”
“I have captained space ships. Also, this entire day just came out five hours later. I blame the future.”
“Home from Jesus’ death?”
“I don’t know who owns this own crossbow. Right now we’re cool. ~ But HALF A BLOWJOB?”
“I just made an arm.”
“Home from something stupid.”
“Victor: Why do Pickles look they hate me.”
“Also, Victor’s broken arm casts now endorse unicycling.”
And my personal favorites:
It’s a valid question.