I don’t need this. Literally.

Dear way-too-specific spam emails:

Stop it.  Please.

No. Just no.

PS. And (because I believe in sharing) cats dressed as pirates.

Hugs, Jenny

213 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I ALWAYS get vaginal-themed spam. UNREAL.

    Nic recently posted The Restorative Power of Mountains, Oktoberfest, and Lots of Garlic.

  2. Ha! I get that all the time, too. And penis enlargement. Both things which do not plague me.

    Banana Stickers recently posted Somewhere out there, a granny has ruined someone’s asshole. Alternate title: Happy Sunday!.

  3. I never get vaginal-themed spam. What am I doing wrong?

  4. They don’t send me e-mails. They just call me on a daily basis.

  5. Thank GOD. I’ve been LOOKING for a solution to my vagina mesh problems for MONTHS.

  6. “Vaginal mesh problem” – now there are three words I never thought I’d see together.

  7. Thank GOD. I’ve been LOOKING for a solution to my vagina mesh problems for MONTHS.

    Rai recently posted The Great Gnat Battle of 2012.

  8. I get this one a lot and find it a little disturbing because I don’t even HAVE a vagina. I also get a lot of emails from AARP, which makes me feel kinda old before I should.

  9. I’m slightly annoyed that I don’t get entertaining spam. Perhaps I need to start sending more lurid emails.

    Ellie Di recently posted ED is not me: Relapse and why I did nothing about it.

  10. I got nothing but… wow. And I was upset over my repeated offers to join AARP!!!

    Queen Of All Things Good recently posted Oh Just Have Some Of This....

  11. I think HST REALLY needs a pirate costume. But you’d probably better take care of your vaginal mesh problem BEFORE you build his costume…

    Ashleigh recently posted Suicide Hurts..

  12. You never fail to make my day. Thank you!

  13. My vagina-related spam tends to be of a different nature. Puppets n’such.

    J. Kevin Tumlinson recently posted i deserve to be beaten..

  14. I’m probably going to hate myself for asking this, but… WTF IS trans vaginal mesh anyway? I can’t even watch TV anymore. It’s everywhere! Nobody’s even telling me to quit taking antidepressants so my baby doesn’t have two heads anymore!

    Katie recently posted Banned Books Week: Lady Chatterley’s Lover by DH Lawrence.

  15. That’s hilarious, and interesting too, because I feel like people who send spam mail are douches. It’s like peanut butter and jelly.

    Ashley recently posted Shoe Thief Steal of the Week- October 4.

  16. I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago, and while I was at it, I had ‘bladder sling’ put in. Basically, my second son was 12lbs at birth, and I spent the next 17 years peeing on myself every-time I laughed, or coughed. That sling is also sometimes called vaginal mesh- and a ton of women have had issues with them when they are not installed properly.

    NATurally Inappropriate recently posted King Kunter.

  17. 17
    Kathryn Franks @Thrushiebaby

    I want to see the “chewbaca belly dancing”!!!!!

    (Ask and you shall receive: http://www.neatorama.com/2012/10/02/Chewbacca-Belly-Dancing-While-Backed-by-a-Klingon-Band/ ~Jenny)

  18. it’s when you start to get benign, everyday e-mails I would begin to worry.

    Laurie F. recently posted Haiku Heights – FREE.

  19. Is it bad that I had to look up what the hell vaginal mesh problems were? I have never gotten those e-mails. So I used my dear friend Google to look that up. Yet one more reason I will not be having children. Eek!

    Kera - Dreadnaught Darling recently posted Green Up Your Beauty Regimen: The Mane Question – Coffee.

  20. When I get that one, I assume that the problem they are referring to is the fact that I have neither a vaginal mesh nor a vagina. Do you think I can get cash compensation for that?

    Jon recently posted God has 4095 parameters.

  21. I actually got a vaginal-mesh themed comment on one of my blog posts, to which I was all What le Fuck? My post is about doing Hot Yoga, not about mesh lawsuits and incontinence.

    Where the fuck has vaginal mesh come from and what does it want from us?!?!

    Christine recently posted 8 Things to Do When you Can't Sleep.

  22. When that African prince pays out back all of the money you lent him you’ll be swimming in vaginal mesh! Oh wait…

  23. I loved the cats dressed as pirates but if I am going to get all the perks and benefits of being a voyeur of your inbox, I TOTALLY want to see HST’s human look-a-like. But I am weird like that.

    Cash compensation for my vaginal mesh? I don’t have vaginal mesh but if they are handing out cash because they REALLY need some…

    Times are hard, I am just sayin’.

    Jess recently posted Now, Where Did THAT Trait Come From? Me, You Say? No!!!.

  24. Thanks for the laugh!

  25. Where’s the pic of the human lookalike?

    Elizabeth Potts Weinstein recently posted This broken heart and knowing what is not my job..

  26. Every single one of your spam emails looks better than my spam emails.

  27. Is it weird I saw the word “poopers” first?
    WTF is vaginal mesh? I want to look it up but don’t want to answer silly questions later on when my husband looks at the browser history lol

    Brooke recently posted October 2012 Giveaway! Butter London DODGY BARNETT & TRUSTAFARIAN.

  28. I always get ED spam…what does THAT mean?!

  29. This hurts my brain in so many ways…I just, is it really that big of a problem that it demands spam emails?

    Reneesance recently posted Vintage Bright Pink Women's Gloves Glam Burlesque Style Sz S/M by Reneesance.

  30. Ok, forget the spam. The other, “real” messages in your inbox are priceless! Chewbacca Bellydancing? I think I’d rather have your inbox than mine. Much more fun!

  31. I receive emails for Vaginal Mesh Implants all of the time too. Unfortunately, they don’t go to my spam folder. Maybe they think I need them more.

    Mommy Unmuted recently posted My Football Fever Is Contagious.

  32. Im jealous…my spam mails are usually about Penises….I don’t have a Penis so they are less than helpful.

  33. I’m more intrigued by Chewbacca … belly dancing?

  34. I get loads of spam about the time I got arrested (which was never), DR. OZ offers URGENT TIPS on the BED BUGS epidemic, and (13) Sexual Predators In Your Area – VIEW NOW. Awesome! 2876 in my Spam box.

    Lucy Ball recently posted Mr. Bones Has A Bone To Pick.

  35. I must be really bored because those cat pirate pictures made me CRY with laughter. The one with the toilet paper roll on its leg alone…and most of the cats’ expressions are so…haaaaaaaaaaaa! (p.s. Sorry I have nothing to contribute about the vaginal mesh.)

  36. Around here there are local commercials that run constantly from a law firm that is pulling together a class action lawsuit for that vaginal mesh surgery. After hearing it in the background, my husband asked me, “What is a vaginal mess and can they really sue for that?”

  37. I’ve heard of people having surgery to implant mesh that holds their organs in place, and having horrible complications as a result.

    Maybe some people’s..vaginas…fell out…and…somehow mesh helps with this?

    Heretic Husband recently posted An open letter to Doug Wilson.

  38. WTF? is vagina mesh?

  39. I always get the penis enlargement emails!!

    Janie recently posted iPod Nano Case - 4th and 5th Generation - Houndstooth by jmaeson.

  40. @NATurally Inappropriate: THANK YOU. All I could think of was… well, you know how about twice a year, your screen windows need to be taken out and hosed down?

  41. Forget your vaginal problems… CHEWBACCA BELLYDANCING and you don’t provide a link?!?

    David Flor recently posted The Off Pitch.

  42. I’m SOOOOOOOOOO jealous. I only ever get offers to be a mystery shopper. Oh, and there’s this millionaire who’s been pestering me for the last couple of weeks as well. Apprently, he wants to work with me.

    Kara recently posted Mike Nesmith and Kevin Spacey.

  43. Does that mean your vagina doesn’t play well with others? Does it mean there’s a mesh lining in the vagina and it’s having problems? I never learned about that in health class.
    But, seriously, because I am strapped for cash, I’m going to see what kind of dough my vagina can make for me.
    not that

    Erica recently posted The word count for this post is 666! It’s time for Halloween!.

  44. I am getting those too…I wonder if they think I took too many of their penis enlargement pills and then my enlarged penis pierced my vagina which lead to it needing to be meshed, though it wasn’t done properly and NOW I am owed cash compensation. It is a vicious cycle.

    Jaime recently posted Coconut Oil and Thanks....

  45. Sharing is caring. Especially when it leads to cat’s dressed as pirates. I love the internet.

    ColdBlooded recently posted Silver Linings..

  46. @Heretic Husband….LOLOLOLOL I just see this mental image of ….CLUNK….vagina on the floor

  47. …unless there’s been a sudden increase in the frequency of Wookiees bellydancing, I think I know the people who presented Chewbacca bellydancing to the world. There was a Klingon band. Because only Klingons have the strength and warrior spirit to keep playing instruments while Chewbacca is bellydancing.

  48. Omigod. If I tried that shit with my cat I’d need so much plastic surgery I might as well move to Thailand.

  49. I almost wish I had vaginal mesh problems just so I could score an extra few bucks. File this under: Reasons I know I am underpaid.

    Cathy recently posted Coming out of the dark.

  50. I agree with Jess, I want to see the human look-a-like! 🙂

  51. These are awesome. My spam is mostly about over-55 dating sites. Which just depresses me, because I am only in my mid-late forties, people.

    Cindy Reed recently posted A Tale of Two Disneys..

  52. The spam e-mails for penis enlargement, Viagra, and help finding women, leaves me feeling little, impotent and lonely. :b

  53. I’m more interested in your bellydancing Chewbacca email – I wish I got stuff like that.

  54. I wish my inbox was as fun as yours. I’ve never received a message titled, “Chewbacca bellydancing…WTF?!”

  55. I always get the penis enlargement emails too. Any emails from ‘Best-Penis.com’ now go into my ‘Amusing spam’ folder.

  56. Googled “Vaginal Mesh” and realized I’m probably going to be on their spam list now. Awesome. But since I need cash, I might just look into the compensation mentioned.

    Kelly@Sublurban Mama recently posted They're Not Out Yet.

  57. How, oh how, could you not follow-up on the one titled “my first taxidermy class”?!!! COME ON!! Inquiring minds WANT TO KNOW!

    My best guess – THAT’s where the flying taxidermied guinea pig came from.

  58. 58
    When I Blink

    OK, admittedly, I am not totally sure what that email is about. But it sounds like the intended recipient’s first problem is having a vagina full of mesh. Can cash solve that? I don’t know. Would the mesh accept a bribe to vacate the vagina? Or does offering it cash just incent it to stay? The whole strategy stumps me, honestly.

    When I Blink recently posted Celebrate Banned Book Week With Adorable Yet Questionable Pigs.

  59. I want to find out more about Chewbacca belly dancing.

  60. I couldn’t help but get excited by the mystery of some of your other inbox items, like HST’s human look alike and 5 creepiest towns in American. (Where are they? Have I been there? Does HST’s human look alike live in one of them?? I need answers!)

  61. At first I read that as Compensation for your “vaginal meh” problems which is a hell of a lot funnier.

  62. On my journey backwards in time, reading your blog that is, I just got to http://thebloggess.com/2008/08/this-doesnt-bode-well-for-the-integrity-of-blogging/ and that you are ranked 4,966 blogger. Your rank is now 1317. Check it out http://technorati.com/blogs/thebloggess.com So how many people have you killed?

  63. I think they meant vaginal meTh problems because there is a ton of vaginal meth problems out there

  64. Dear Injury Advocates: Is a problem with vaginal mesh really considered an INJURY? Sounds like something better left to the medical malpractice groups.

    Kristen @ The Balanced Bowl recently posted Foods to Boost Mood and Fight Depression.

  65. I got one for my hairy groin problem the other day. I don’t even know how to address that.

    Natalie the Singingfool recently posted “Are You Going to Finish That?”.

  66. Spam, ok, but the .gc.ca is somebody using my tax dollars to email you. Hmm. At 8:50AM, which is before work hours. I’m not impressed, Canadian Mortgage and Housing employee. It would behoove you to read the Bloggess *during* work hours so as to make a better use of my tax money than whatever usually goes on. 😀

  67. What the hell is vaginal mesh?!

    I never get vagina related spam. I do however get bombarded by penis spam…Maybe I have a secret penis somewhere?

    Melissa B recently posted Ocular Woes.

  68. This glimpse into your email inbox folder is like glimpsing into your mind. Disturbing and perplexing.
    I’m still trying to work out if vaginal mesh is (a) mesh for going into your vagina, like a drainage filter or internal support (b) a mesh in some way derived from vaginas.
    Man, I don’t know anything any more…

    Claire J recently posted London: Settling In.

  69. your inbox is a study in the crazy effing crap on the internets!

  70. No. Words.
    Other than that my legs are now crossed, trying to protect my ladybits from imagining mesh up in there.

    Allyn recently posted Perspective.

  71. And yet you are the only person to provide cat-pirate pictures. Thanks for taking the high road in a vaginal-mesh-obsessed. world.

  72. Hey, SOMEONE wanted to get that email.

    Jessica recently posted Inanimate Objects Sometimes Attack Me.

  73. dude, someone is finally talking about the vagina mash problem!!!!!! There is hope.

  74. Can I get it in colors? Prints?

    Synnove recently posted Daycare Break-ups.

  75. Weird. Mine are all about penis enlargement, mesothelioma, and Louboutin boots.

    avidbruxist recently posted Simple Collard Greens Recipe with Lots of Pretty Pictures, or Cooking for Dumbs.

  76. I, for one, like seeing the Government of Canada email address. A quick look at GEDS reveals someone working in Communications! I bet that Human Lookalike email Is just another creative PR hack trying to promote Canadian Housing programs. Would love to see how they brought that together!

  77. It could have been worse. It could have been cash compensation for your erectile dysfunction issues.

    Lorca Damon recently posted It Can’t Be Done Without Glitter.

  78. Also, can you please share Chewbacca bellydancing?! Because for reals, WTF?

    Ashleigh recently posted Suicide Hurts..

  79. I always get emails wanting to help me enlarge my penis.

    That I don’t have.

    Jaime recently posted Homemade Friday: Adele, 2 years.

  80. At work, I get a lot of spam for penis enlargement pills at the address for our test proctoring service. I’m not sure they understand what “proctoring” means. Or maybe we’re doing it wrong.

    Jake recently posted The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And also ideas that we don't like. And albatrosses..

  81. If it makes you feel any better, I usually get spam related to viagra and products to increase the size of my penis. Which would be miraculous considering I am more likely to require vaginal mesh (whatever that is)

    Kari recently posted A weekly update including, but not limited to, the invention a new curse word.

  82. PS… prin, most government employees work from 8 to 4 (but they can start as early as 7) – and most departments only allow access to work email at work (to ensure that people don’t use them as personal accounts). I obviously know too much, trust me when I say I’m writing this from the comfort of my living room (in a house with a CHMC-insured mortgage, no less! Now I get why the rates are so high…must be all that Internet research their communications team is doing!)

  83. I am confused. Who doesn’t want “cash compensation?” I could always use cash compensation.

  84. I’ve thought in the past that I could get a whole blog post out of my spam box! Thanks for letting me know I can get larger, but I don’t come equipped with that particular part.

    Cynthia Meents recently posted Happy Blogaversary to Me!.

  85. What is vaginal mesh? Another thing my mom never explained. Do I need to get my handmirror out AGAIN? Lol!

  86. Well, they’re not shy about advertisement, are they?

    Rachel recently posted Pretty Important Stuff.

  87. Speaking of way too specific I’ve made pirates the theme for my radiation. Day 12 out of 25 today. My cat plays along by wearing an eye patch and sleeping in a pirate hat. And to top it off the rays are being aimed at the skin of my lady bits so I’m going to go ahead and take this blog post as a sign that the pain and stupid sitz baths are gonna be worth it.

    Thanks Jenny!

  88. Please tell me you replied?? If not, forward it to me. I will gladly reply it will make an interesting change to tormenting people promising me 100,000,000 million dollars….

    Samwhiteoak recently posted I literally went bump in the night..

  89. Oh dear…had I known sending you the Chewbacca Bellydancing link would cause entertainment, I would’ve sent it earlier. *snicker*


    Jess recently posted Update: This was going to be a real post, but then there was an angry dog. And Bellydancing Chewbaccas..

  90. I think you have one of the most intresing inboxes I have ev.er see. I am pretty jealous right now

  91. I’m super curious to see “Hunter S. Thomcat’s Human Lookalike”

  92. I work for a magazine that recently ran an article about those transvaginal mesh lawsuits and, I’m going to be honest, proofreading that article was the first time I’ve ever wanted to completely get rid of my vagina. It was also the first time I realized that trial lawyers probably know more about my vagina than I do, but less about comma splices so who’s the real winner here?

    Aileen recently posted I’m on Facebook, and you probably are too..

  93. Reminds me of the awkward text message I got recently. Yours might have gotten you cash though. What a bonus. Mine just got me a best friend. http://beingsmokey.blogspot.com/2012/08/awkward-text-message.html

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  94. How much? And where can I get me some vaginal mesh??

    Kristen Mae recently posted Update On the Douche-Canoe and How to Get Results By Being Passive Aggressive.

  95. 95

    So, of course I would know this – and it’s gross – the vaginal mesh, or baldder sling as it’s also known as – is to prevent, literally, your bladder from falling out of your vagina. Can that really happen? Yes, it happened to my friend jeanne – while she was in the shower. Yup, gross.

  96. Oh, I am the same as Kari. I do get a lot of emails for penis enlargement surgery. I forward them to my boyfriend..

    Samwhiteoak recently posted I literally went bump in the night..

  97. Dude, what the crap am I doing wrong then? I always get emails asking if I want viagra or penis enlargement pills. At least that one could apply….ahem, I mean… Theoretically if course.

    Shoo, check me out using big words.

    Imperfectmomma recently posted Standing.

  98. Ya know,i get far too much stuff about penis enlargements, hello, i’m a WOMAN, isn’t it obvious by my name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  99. 99
    Nicholle C.

    For a million years I was ALWAYS getting spam mail about enlarging my penis….last I checked, pretty sure I don’t have one…..

  100. 100
    Rhonda McMullin

    To whom it may concern:

    Re: Spam

    Regarding your recent correspondence: I do not now, nor will I ever, have vaginal mesh, so you can stop asking if I require cash compensation for its improper installation. I prefer, when the time comes, to just pee on myself, rather than have something that sounds like genital chicken wire installed in my ladybits. Please make a note of it.

    Furthermore, I am lacking the requisite equipment for penis enlargement. One would assume, given the nature of the first category of spam, that a lack of necessity for the second type of spam was patently obvious. Clearly, one has overestimated the deductive capability inherent at the business end of the spam spectrum. Given the utter disregard held for those in your line of work, one would not have thought that possible.

    Mumsi Vaguely

  101. Could we please see the Chewbacca Belly Dancing video? Pretty Please.

  102. I got this “Vaginal Mesh” email as well, and I was quite offended. What I do with a bag of onions is nobody’s business but my own.

    Jeni recently posted The day the music died.

  103. More importantly, what ARE the five creepiest towns in america???

  104. I want emails of cats dressed as pirates.

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted Day 4 of 2nd Annual 31 Days of Halloween Kitties.

  105. How do the spammers even KNOW I’m a vagina owner? HOW I ASK YOU? Also, um, mesh?

    Arnebya recently posted The Bright Side of 39 (and a letter to myself).

  106. I want to post that Pirate Cat link to my Facebook page, but I feel like I’d have to post it with an apology. But I really want to.

    Stephanie recently posted Momma’s 12 Days of Christmas 2012 is Coming! Would You Like to Guest Post?.

  107. I just want to know what the 5 Creepiest Towns in America are.

    carol anne recently posted Full Harvest Moon, September 29, 2012.

  108. As a belly dancer, I’m curious about the Chewbacca email. And yes, I’m googling it!

  109. A step towards equality? For years, we’ve had penis pump and Viagra spammers, now, we get vaginal mesh spamming. Hooray for women’s rights?

  110. Not joking: vaginal mesh compensation is my job. I talk to women all day about their vagina problems. It’s amazing I haven’t shot my brains out yet.

  111. I get male enhancement ones. At least these folks got your gender right.

    Karen Sanders recently posted BEST Ultrasound EVER.

  112. Because any guys that read this are afraid to ask, I’ll just pull the band-aid off quick:

    WTF is vaginal Mesh?

    Brandon recently posted So I’m 32 now…What do I Have to Show For It?.

  113. You’re inbox is WAY more interesting than mine.

  114. 114

    I get this shit all the time!! My nickname is BJ (first initial of first name and first initial of maiden name). I’ve had the nickname for going on 20 years now. At the place I worked all the usual variations of my given name were used up, so I went with my initials (at the time) to individualize myself from Babs, Barb, Barbara, Barbie, and Bitsy.

    I have learned how to put filters on my inbox to prevent anything with sexual, anatomical or gender specific emails getting through. This does, however, also prevent all the good sexual degenerate-ish jokes and the like from coming in as well.

    PS – Is HST still enjoying Hammy? or has he totally destroyed said taxidermied rodent already?

  115. OMG I’M SORRY I MEANT YOUR IN MY OTHER COMMENT. I’m so embarrassed, I absolutely hate it when people do that!

  116. I probably should have known better than to open this and read it while waiting in line to pick up my kids at school. Thanks for the laughs!

  117. I’m still back on the Chewbacca bellydancing thing…

    Mia recently posted Gracie's on the Roof Again.

  118. Can you expand a little bit on that email about the Hunter S. Tomcat human look-alike?

  119. If you haven’t already googled “vaginal mesh,” I HIGHLY advise against it. I can never un-know what Pelvic Organ Prolapse is now.

    Jillian recently posted I wonder what else I've been doing wrong my whole life? Probably eating salad. I'm TERRIBLE at eating salad..

  120. Maybe the guinea-pig stalker squeak toy is filled with transvaginal mesh that is all in need of repair and that’s why it rattles? So obvious of the lawyers…send you a badly taxidermied guinea pig with mesh issues…then get you to sue. Ambulance chasers.

  121. Hell, even I’m getting vaginal-mesh spam. Do they know something about me that I don’t even know?


    EdT. recently posted WW: New Plaything.

  122. 122

    Ok, I checked out the Chewbacca bellydancing thing…Hilarious! Thanks Jess. (comment #87)

    But seriously, I NEED to learn about the “Creepiest Towns” and I really want to see the “HST human lookalike”… and WHAT THE FUCK are “Political Poopers” ???

    PLEASE, Jenny? Please, please?

  123. Maybe they’re just doing a preemptive strike considering all of your other obscure medical ailments. Or maybe they’re just effing a-holes. Probably the second one.

    The rest of your inbox looks REALLY entertaining.

  124. You have quite the inbox

    Corey Feldman recently posted In honor of the eBook release of Egret the Elephant – Contest & Freebie.

  125. I laughed myself into an asthma attack reading the VagMesh comments. (And my brother is sooooo getting these pirate kitty pictures.)

  126. I was going to demand, DEMAND to see the Chewbacca belly dancing thing… and then I thought about it some more, and decided that some things cannot be unseen.

    I am definitely dressing up my cat as a pirate this year. He was a bat last year, and was doing find until the dog decided to go after his wings, and then he panicked and somehow knocked over three plants, a chair, and a shelf. The dog thought it was great fun. Pirate would be better.

    That or I’ll dress him as Hello Kitty.

    I promise I don’t hate my cat.

  127. I’d really like to see HST’s human lookalike…

    Tammy recently posted Garçon! More Wine Please….

  128. Thanks for the Kitty Cat Pirates, but WTF… You’re holding out on us by not sharing the Chewbacca belly dancing.

    We deserve better damn it!

  129. On second thought, it’s better than penis enhancing spam.

    Rai recently posted The Great Gnat Battle of 2012.

  130. You know…I’d take the vaginal mesh spam over the Senior Dating spam any day of the week. Someone got my age wayyyy wrong. LOL

    Crystal recently posted Ode’ to the Pumpkin.

  131. I need you to write a post on exactly what vaginal mesh problems are.
    By the end of the week is good.

    Melissa recently posted Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.

  132. It’s an upgrade from the viagra and male enhancement emails but it’s really really really clear what they would like to assist you with lol. The cats were funny. Too bad mom is afraid of cats.

    Southern Girl recently posted blah blah blah.

  133. Change your profile to indicate that you are male…and see how many ED spam you get. 😉

    Nolens Volens recently posted Breast Cancer Awareness TNH.

  134. Hey – Chewy actually has awesome belly dance technique!!

  135. Wait, who is Hunter S Tomcat’s human lookalike?

    Mayor Gia recently posted Replacement Refs.

  136. I’d never even heard of vaginal mesh…. Thanks for enlightening me, Lawsbians!
    I mostly get viagra or prescription drug spam… and now I’ve started getting accident claim texts on my phone which is a bit cheeky (I’m a bit clumsy, but I’m not that bad!)

    Nat recently posted Coffee Trippin'.

  137. I’ve been getting these, too (at least once a week). Now at least I know I’m in good company. How the heck did we get on this stupid list?!

  138. If I had a dollar for every vaginal mesh problem….wait, never mind.

    Mom Off Meth recently posted The "S" word..

  139. Okay, but what about the Chewbacca Bellydancing?!?! My brain is scrambling just thinking about it. Must not google…must not google…

    Asha Sanaker recently posted Information In The Symbol Of An Autumn Leaf.

  140. Hello, this is 1999 and I want my inbox back! Haha

    Mary Beth recently posted Project #1: Decorative Items.

  141. Count me in with the group that wants to know what the Five Creepiest towns in America are.

    I mean Jenny, it IS Halloween season, you must, must share with us! Plus I just dig that stuff period.

    Oh and true story: Once I was out to dinner with my mom, stepdad and 2 yr old. I went to the bathroom and felt something odd kind of hanging. I thought my uterus or something collapsed. I was freaking the HELL out. Called my mom in, told her about it and instead of taking me home they took me to the ER. No joke I was freaking out, it felt so bizarre.

    Sooo after I get checked out and they go ermmm up there, they find something white and round. Not my uterus, no siree.

    They ask me what I was doing recently, applying to myself etc. I was dumbfounded. Then ooohh yes, about a week or so prior I did a home Yeast kit. Well apparently this genius here did it without taking off one of the apllicator tops, and well, yeah it wasn’t my uterus falling out. It was the cap.

    My husband will never let me live that one down.

    Charli recently posted Short-Circuited.

  142. Aw I feel left out. I never get spam emails about vaginas. Or even penis enlargements. Instead I get long lost relatives from africa saying I’ve inherited a gazillion dollars and need to send them all my bank account details and my inside leg measurements.

    Also, I need a cat dressed as a pirate. I NEED IT LIKE I HAVE NEVER NEEDED ANYTHING BEFORE.

    Sam recently posted He Could Have Pooped On My Shoulder......

  143. What a week. First my kid tells me that somebody bought a jar of “medicinal nipple hair” on ebay and now the dreaded vaginal mesh screen? Something for everybody, right?

    Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted Well, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!.

  144. The best part of this post? The titles of all the other, legitimate emails in your inbox. Awesomeness.

    Laura recently posted My Thoughts on Erin Jade Lange, Butter.

  145. So the trip to the obgyn results in a vaginal mesh issue? Jeesh.

  146. Does this mean that there is cash compensation available for those cha-cha wedgies that mesh panties give me? And if so, what’s a fair offer to accept? I mean, my vagina is for private use only – it’s never been utilized in a professional capacity.

    Caroline recently posted Good Girl Gracie by Jennifer Demary 10/04/12.

  147. I always get the penis enlargement ones. I hate junk mail.

    Danielle recently posted Sickness and Help..

  148. Wait, what about the chewbacca belly dancing? SHARE!!

  149. I keep getting spam from a girl with the same name as my sister urging me to check out her NSFW videos and pictures. Ummm no thank you Not!Sister

    Patti B recently posted Finish Two, Start Three.

  150. OMG I was looking at that screenshot and just thinking “I hope she actually shows us cats dressed as pirates.” Can you read our minds or is that just something everyone wants to see?

    Tzipporah recently posted From famine to front lawns.

  151. Just received my AARP card application in the mail, discreetly packaged in a nondescript white envelope. So thankful that the mailman doesn’t know I’m old as dirt.

  152. At least you have a vagina that COULD potentially have a mesh problem…what the hell do I need Viagra for?!

    Brea recently posted Mommy Confessional #1.

  153. I have yet to get an email about damage to my vagina, but I do think cats dressed as pirates are cute 😉

    Chewy Mommy recently posted Praying We Avoid Head Lice!.

  154. what is a vaginal mesh?? Am i way out of the loop here? And i usually get penis enlargement emails for the penis i dont have. I dont get anything vagina related though…

    Agnes recently posted The back of the bus.

  155. Wow. Spam filter failure!! But entertaining. 😉

    Mama D recently posted An Eye-Opening Experience.

  156. If you have not seen this yet, PLEASE check it out! I laughed. Hard. : ) ~Nicole


  157. I would like to know what the five creepiest towns in America are please. Thanks.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted I don't live in Bumtown..

  158. 158
    I am the Queen

    I get spam all the time promising to enlarge my penis…that would be a medical marvel since I am a GIRL!

  159. Is it wrong that I think the first 4 emails are hysterically funny. Why doesn’t my spam mail ever seem that funny! Thanks for sharing the laughs

  160. So, of course I had to look up Chewbacca bellydancing….

  161. only the bloggess has an inbox this explicit…and intriguing. i would love for any of those emails to land in my inbox. #seriouslyboring.

    monica recently posted I'm Mrs. DayintheLife and I approve this message..

  162. I always get “Enlarge Your Penis!” spam. I don’t even have a penis.

    Erin recently posted Off The Cuff Thursday:I’m Not Cut Out For Reality TV.

  163. Your spam is much so more interesting than mine! Mostly I get messages from embassies, Western Union, foreign lotteries, and banks in Nigeria. I feel bad for any legitimate banks in Nigeria that have to send emails; probably no one ever sees them.

    Love the pirate felines! I usually feel sorry for (live not taxidermied) animals in costumes but those cats mostly looked like they might be a little crazy to start with.

    carmen webster buxton recently posted Book cover test.

  164. You have your own Injury Advocates? So. Not. Fair!

    Sandy@Sinsationally Me recently posted Reading + Tired = what happened?.

  165. FYI Ya’ll – Cats dress as pirates is better than the 5 creepiest towns article.

    mousebert recently posted Edelweiss.

  166. Is it weird that I want to dress my cat up like a pirate? No, of course not. Is it weird that I want to build a boat for her out of rudimentary objects… Like my deck. Maybe.

    I googled vagina mesh once… There are some things you can’t unsee.



    Valerie recently posted The Mysterious Case of the Unicorn Vagina.

  167. Today, Ranger (my man) oversaw a colleague searching google images for “Enema therapy” porn. He shits you not. Or a lot. Either one is fucking creepy!

    PS. I adore everything about you.


  168. Your email is way more interesting than mine.

    Not surprised.

    In the least.

    Cheryl D. recently posted Top 10 Signs You're a Mom.

  169. Ginger, thanks for the GEDS. I had no idea that service existed. Now if only we could get government employees to be productive instead of having to cut programs for “austerity”…. You know, the fact that that person used their government email address shows they take their job for granted. Psh.

    Anyway, back to kitties and meshy lady bits. Sorry for the digression, Jenny. Who knew Canadians would find such controversy in this post?

  170. Pirate cats?!? Psh! I’d much rather see HST’s Human Look-a-Like!

    And to whom ever shared the wonderful image of a metal vagina falling to the floor… thanks! I caught it just in scrolling and about spit my drink. LOL! *clunk* Oh shit! What was that contact info?!?

    Tracey aka KidLit! recently posted The World's Largest Thermometer! Finally..

  171. The only spam I get is for 2,000,000 pageviews of your website NOW.

    Um, hmm. Probably not.

    (Speaking of which, any reason why the

    Em recently posted Read Books.

  172. Urg, half a comment…
    any reason why there’s not the option to drop down the last few posts when attaching a recent posting?

    It’s a very cool thing, I’ve gotten exposed to some neat blogs that way. So thanks.

    Em recently posted Read Books.

  173. Urg, half a comment… And your comment form keeps saying it looks like I’ve already said this, but I haven’t, comment form. I cut myself off by hitting my keyboard in error and now here we are. Unsaid and unsung!

    As i was saying:
    any reason why there’s not the option to drop down the last few posts when attaching a recent posting? Just curious.

    It’s a very cool thing, I’ve gotten exposed to some neat blogs that way. So thanks.

    Em recently posted Read Books.

  174. Oh. The comment form was right. My bad. Shutting up now.

    Em recently posted Read Books.

  175. Wouldn’t it be great if we got cash compensation even if we never used mesh?

    For Love or Funny recently posted If stinkbugs were puppies….

  176. This is what we get for complaining about erection emails.

    Amy (KidFreeLiving) recently posted 70% sure my hair washer is an alien.

  177. I must agree with Brooke #27; we need to know what political poopers are. I’m guessing that these are simply the assholes we’ve come to expect in politics local, state, and federal?

  178. I like to imagine that vaginal mesh is like fishnet tights for the vagina. They’re so sexy, having them stop on your legs just isn’t enough.

    SarcasticNinja recently posted "Guardian" Angels: Raging Sociopaths?.

  179. I get a ton of penis-related spam and no vagina-related spam. What’s up with that? As far as I know Megan is not a unisex name…

    Meg recently posted Obsession.

  180. No question you know what you get there! But hey, don’t check your email with your kids around! 😉

    thedoseofreality recently posted Head to Head: The Living Legends–Barry Manilow vs. Neil Diamond.

  181. I. I don’t. even know. where to start. So confused, too many questions in my head right now. WTF is vaginal mesh? Is it contagious? Who is this Hunter S. Tomcat lookalike roaming the streets? Your entire inbox is full of awesomeness, love it!

    Carolina recently posted My parking brings all the guards to the yard.

  182. OMG…Cats dressed as Pirates! Fucking hilarious!! 😀 😀

    Diya Ganguly recently posted Somebody Get Me Ice Cream. I Need Ice Cream When I Am Stressing..

  183. I don’t know what a vaginal mesh is but it sounds like the ugliest shirt ever.

    moooooog35 recently posted The DumbECard Project.

  184. –>I want to know what Hunter S. Tomcat’s human lookalike looks like.

    WebSavvyMom recently posted Wordless Wednesday - Heart of Darkness.

  185. Nothing like those vagina mesh problems.

    Holly Folly recently posted The Car and the Freezer.

  186. 187
    Gladys Gravyboots

    So, I opened the Cats Dressed as Pirates link & shortly thereafter my kitty, Caspar Milqtoast, joined me at the computer. He tried to catch the green bird sitting on the PirateCat rump, then took off…

    Always entertaining when the cats see things they like on the screen!


  187. Doesn;t everyone have a vaginal mesh problem????

    Louise McG recently posted We’re skint?.

  188. I’m fairly certain that the cats in those photos will kill their families as they sleep. They look PISSED!

  189. Wow. What the heck is that anyway??!?!?!?!

    Meg O. recently posted September Beauty Favorites.

  190. Wow, your spam is a lot more entertaining than my spam. Wanna trade?

    Andi recently posted Changing Gears.

  191. Better than being a guy, and every other spam is for penile enlargement. Humiliating.

    Re: Cats dressed as pirates.

    The expressions seem to range from
    “Huh? Have you lost your mind, person?”
    “You bore me to death…”
    “I *will* kill you in your sleep, MoFo.”

    Jason (The Queer Next Door) recently posted I Won't Expect You To Be What I Want You To Be.

  192. Could you pretty please just take a screen shot of your inbox every day? Because that is amazing.

    Dana the Biped recently posted Shakespeare's Got Nothing On Me..

  193. This prompted me to look in my Spam folder. Where I found an e-mail from my credit union. And a shipping notice from something I ordered from Canada.

    So thank you, Jenny, for this public service.

    Sue recently posted Bogie is starting to get it - I think.

  194. I’m actually more interested in the “Five creepiest towns in America” email you received, although I’m quite sure that in at least one of those towns that “cash compensation for vaginal mesh problems” is the exact reason they have been named one of the five creepiest towns in America.

    The RB

    TheRealBarman recently posted The 20 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Heard People Say in My Bar.

  195. I actually need that email…. fml

    Kelly @ In the Mom Light recently posted Ten Funny/Pathetic Truths About Motherhood.

  196. I never get vagina spam, all mine have to do with penises. And Cats Dressed as Pirates are my dream come true! I now need a kitty sized eyepatch and tricorn hat, as soon as possible. My cat will be so happy to finally get a break from her tiny sombrero!

    bunnyface recently posted Real (Lazy Ass) Housewives of Olympia: Fire!.

  197. After reading the prior descriptions of a “va-jay-jay mesh” I now feel like I need a Xanax. . .and quite possibly a Silkwood shower. ((shudder))

    Jen in Portlandia recently posted I Put The 'Groan' in 'Gronskulla'.

  198. “Vaginal mesh”? So I’m not the only one with girly parts that look like a fishing net?

    April recently posted Up All Night.

  199. Completely unrelated to this post. But I’d like you to know that I’m in the coffee shop, listening to your audiobook, trying desperately not to laugh out loud. Not because it’s embarrassing, but because then I’d have to explain it to the elderly Asian man sitting next to me. And he really doesn’t need to know about how zombies don’t need brains to be zombies.

    Also, I need to get off my duff and write a review for this, because you seriously almost made me get into a car accident because I was listening while driving. Thanks for almost killing me. I hope you can live with that.

  200. Aww, all I ever get are Russian mail order bride offers! Not that I’m turning my nose up at those, god knows I could use someone to cook and clean and 15 thousand dollars sounds like a good deal for a lifelong housekeeper.

    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted Women in the workplace ... whatever next....

  201. LOL, those cats are priceless

    Dana @ This Silly Girl's Life recently posted Cute Halloween Cut-Outs.

  202. Thank God they haven’t found my email address….yet.. I love the re: They are stooping to a new low…

  203. Thank you.
    You always make me smile. I love that.
    p.s. when you were in Phoenix, we posed for a pic (thank you) with my silly little sign that said “we <3 Angel" which I subsequently posted on facebook and when Angel saw it, she cried. Cuz she loved it.
    Thank you for that too. 🙂

  204. I love seeing your inbox, with mentions of taxidermy and Chewbacca and creepy spam mail all thrown in together. And also, thanks for sharing those cats! 🙂

    Klementine recently posted Moving or maybe not? Expectations and reconciliations turned topsy-turvy again..

  205. 206
    Laura Jensen

    LOVE YOU!!!! You totally crack me up! I finally got your book from the library (don’t worry, it’s on my to buy list) and am only to the magic squirrel chapter and I LOVE it!! I keep laughing out loud…literally! 🙂

  206. Hi Jenny,
    LOVE your blog and the comments are the best. Comment #89 by Jess has the video of the dancing Chewbaca

  207. Very possibly “Goodbye.”

  208. You know, I’ve seen these ads before and the first thing I want to know is: what the fuck is vaginal mesh? I mean, it’s really hard for me to tell if I have it or not if I don’t even know what it is. And how much cash is the compensation anyhow? If its like, say, $25, then I’ll give it as pass, but if I stand to make thousands of dollars then I’ll go get me a vaginal mesh problem. As soon as I find out what it is, of course. I mean…MESH? What, like, mosquito tent mesh? Why would I have that in my vagina? Is it some sort of birth control that keeps the sperm out, like a sieve?

    Leila recently posted The Valley of the Shadow of Death.

  209. I just got this email today!

  210. My grandma and I laugh about those commercials on TVLand…that and the lbs of toxic fecal material we might be carrying around in our unhealthy bowels. Oh, and let’s not forget the Scooter store, the Hurrycane, and possibility that a reverse mortgage might change your life!!

    Mishka recently posted Some Maru Cuteness.

  211. Funny. I always seem to get all the penis enlargement themed ones. Ug.

  212. I actually work for a law firm that is doing vaginal mesh claims. Being the only woman in the office I have to talk to ALL the women that call in. Be glad that you don’t need this because from what I’ve heard “cash compensation” wouildn’t be enough for me!

Leave a Reply