UPDATED: Have yourself a merry little Christmas

in Random Crap

UPDATED:  SEE BELOW.

After the insanity of this week (and thank you again for all your support) I wanted to share something that made me smile.  It’s the cast of Doctor Who performing (possibly drunkenly) one of my favorite songs to butcher:

It’s wonderful.

Slightly more wonderful?   What conclusions Google jumped to when I was searching the internets for this particular gem:

Huh. Well, that was not what I was expecting.

Even stranger:

Well, the man *does* get around. Also, this got me thinking, and so I googled "Was there ever a black Doctor Who?" and google was like "YES, there was a Black Doctor Who Performed the First Surgery To Separate Siamese Twins. WE JUST TOLD YOU THAT. Jesus." And so instead I looked on Bing and it was like "Yes, there are a lot of black people who are physicians. Here's a list of them. Stop being so racist, asshole." Conclusion: Search engines need to get geekier and also need to start giving me the benefit of the doubt.

Also, I know that the Doctor is not actually named “Doctor Who” but he won’t tell me his real name so stop yelling at me.

PS. I couldn’t write last week’s wrap-up because I was too sad, so I missed writing about the sponsor who was very, very sweet about  the inconvenience.  But now I’m making it right:

This week’s (non) wrap-up brought to you by 101 Things To Do Before The Apocalypse:  A tongue in cheek list of things to do during the final days and weeks of society.  Lots of offbeat suggestions that you may not want to attempt if the world were not coming to an end… unless you enjoy uncomfortable moments with friends, family and coworkers.

UPDATED:  I just got an email from my mom telling me that she and my father will not be able to come see us on Xmas Eve, as we’d expected.  This is fine, since none of us are very religious and so instead they’ll come later and we’ll celebrate Merry December 27th instead.  But here is her reason why they can’t come:

Email from my mom:  “Your father forgot that this is the week-end of the last winter solstice of the Mayan calendar and the archeology club is meeting in Paint Rock because there is one of those solstice holes line-up things and he needs to be there for the public.”

Then I told Victor and he was like, “First of all, this is exactly what I was talking about when I said your family is insane, and secondly THE MAYAN CALENDAR SAYS THE WORLD ENDS ON FRIDAY.  Your dad is missing Christmas with us because his Mayan calendar is all full up on Saturday?”  And then I was like, “Are you implying that my dad is using fake Mayan lies to avoid me during the holidays?  That’s absurd!” and Victor was all “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING.”  So I think we agreed, but for different reasons.  Regardless, I wish you and yours a happy December 27th, which is now the new Christmas as long as the world doesn’t end tomorrow.  If the world ends tomorrow then the new Christmas is null and I will be very sad that I didn’t eat an entire cheesecake.  Also, I considered just eating an entire cheesecake (just in case) but I’m lactose intolerant and I didn’t want to spend the-day-after-the-day-the-world-didn’t-end on the toilet.

Updated again:  It’s okay that my family can’t be here because I did just see them last week when we went to a civil war reenactment and I dressed up as a time traveler and rode around on a long-horn bull named Rooster Cogburn.  Everyone else in my family dressed in period clothes, except for my father, who was dressed as Santa Claus for some reason.  This is all true.

Me and Rooster Cogburn. I'm the one on top.

241 thoughts on “UPDATED: Have yourself a merry little Christmas”

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  9. I’m just glad to know Google’s first hit wasn’t black doctor wine. Found that during a kid school project and STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. Somebody click on it and tell me. I’m afraid.

  12. @ ilikebeerandbabies… Actually, I’m on a liquid diet for that particular ‘oscopy, so I very nearly snorted jello on my monitor reading this. Would it be a good idea or bad idea to print this out and take it to the medical facility with me tomorrow? Happy doctors & nurses are good — but giggly ones could be scarier than Shelf Elfs.

  13. I’m actually a little scared the world is going to end. That, paired with the horror of what happened in Connecticut, I’m sick to my stomach all the time. 🙁

    Thanks for the levity – we need it. <3

  14. …wow. I’m impressed with the extent of the Doctor’s talents! (And with the weirdness of google searches!)

  15. There has not been a black doctor. Just in case someone else hadn’t answered that. Have you seen the one with David Tennant and the rest of that whole cast doing “500 Miles.” It is the definition of furiously happy for me.

  18. Slightly less inappropriate/hilarious and significantly more inspiring is that I was the recipient of someone’s first of their 26 acts of kindness (in memory of the CT victims). It was a huge, over-the-top, completely unexpected and desperately needed gift that somehow, was even better than a colonoscopy by a black doctor.

    I PROMISE that you will not regret reading the post about it on my blog (conveniently clickable below). Everyone needs to share the joy. And I dare you to get through it without tears.

    Ok thanks, you can now return to your regularly scheduled black doctor vasectomy.

  19. Thank you for that bit of Christmas joy! I absolutely love how completely plastered Karen Gillian appears to be.

  23. I really hope they are drunk… cause if they’re not then they are clearly enjoying life more than is humanly possible. Great, now I’m suspecting the cast of Doctor Who of being aliens, and wondering why I never realized it before. It’s so obvious!

  24. Getting a colonoscopy with a sonic screwdriver would probably be preferable…

    (Except that the Doctor never performs routine anythings and you’d probably end up with a black hole up your ass. ~ Jenny)

  25. the internet knows you’re from texas, and that’s why it assumes you’re racist. lol oh dear…

  26. dr carson goes to my church, which was handy for my recommendation letter to med school. he kicks ass. i could probably get him to dress up like a black dr who. maybe. i’ll see what i can do. i even think one of the kindergarten rooms has a blue tardis-like-thing, which i think they use as an ark, but he could climb into it just to complete the picture.

  28. I read that the final actor who was in competition with Matt Smith over the role was Chiwetel Ejiofor, who would have made a wonderful Doctor Who. I’m still kinda hoping he’ll be the next one.

  29. WOW! Two of my favorite things….your blog and Doctor Who! I am a HUGE David Tennant fan, but love Matt Smith as well. I am really going to miss Rory and Amy! 🙁

  31. Absolutely laughing my a** off at work right now. Best part? That Arthur is playing the piano so fricking well through the whole thing, because he can. Brilliant. My new favorite version of that song, hands down.

  32. That’s beyond wonderful, and completely captures my manic love-hate relationship with the forced cheer of the holidays.

  33. Woman!!! You completely make my day!!! Especially since we’re a house full of sick people over here.

  38. Thanks for posting that. I hadn’t seen it before and it made me smile. Merry Christmas.

  40. Thank you. Thank Who. Now, if we could get the Who Cast to sing the Who-ville song from The Grinch, the circle of Who would be complete…
    Fah who for-aze!
    Dah who dor-aze!
    Welcome Christmas,
    Come this way!

    Fah who for-aze!
    Dah who dor-aze!
    Welcome Christmas,
    Christmas Day!

  41. Merry Christmas, Jenny. Thanks for all you do to make us smile, and to raise awareness of depression and anxiety. It really is appreciated.

  42. Every time I see an article on Yahoo! or whatever site I’m on that says “Doctor who prefomed surgey in (insert thrid world country)”, I always jump to the conclusion that the Doctor’s real and now there’s proof. Then I click on the link and I’m always disappointed to find out it’s some physican. It always depresses the hell outta me.

  45. On this episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse we are watching, Donald is wearing a fez and bow tie. Guess what Baby H said?

    “Ducktor Who??”
    That wasn’t really a comment to your post. I just wanted you to know.

  49. There hasn’t been a black doctor yet, but before Matt Smith was announced as the new doctor a couple of years ago, there was some buzz around Paterson Joseph from the series Peep Show becoming the first black doctor. However, like all rumours like that, there was no basis to it.

    (Although if you have ever seen Peep Show, his character would make an amazing doctor)

  53. Oh, yah . . . a whole lot of buzz going on in that video. This whole post made my day!! Now I’m ready for anything – Mayans, BRING IT ON!!!!

  54. There’s nothing better in the world than getting sucked into a Doctor Who marathon. I’m hoping for some Doctor Who books/jewelry for Christmas this year.

  57. That’s okay, because December 27 is the eve of my birthday, which takes place on the eve of YOUR birthday, so that’s TOTALLY an important holiday.

    Also, I just had a colonoscopy so your google predictions are a little too late to help me out. I BLAME OBAMA.

  59. adopt me into your family please. I can be the fun aunt…just don’t tell your sister.

  64. My sister’s birthday is December 27, so this should delight her! Or piss her off! Or be null and void, like all the rest of us. I do hope gathering with family wamily will be joyful and healing for you, whenever it happens.

  65. Maybe you’re not the target market for this game. (There’s like 6 people who might be). But I work on it (analytics!!) and thought you might enjoy it. You can dress up AND have your own room in the TARDIS. =D http://www.doctorwhowit.com/

  66. I honestly can’t decide which aspect of this post makes me happier. Is it the clip of Karen, Matt, & Arthur simply being themselves? Is it the realllly weird search results? No, it’s definitely the pics of you and your family at the Civil War reenactment. I now want to get my family to dress up in old time-y clothes with me. Just at home though. I don’t feel like competing with a bunch of strangers for fullest bustle.

  68. I have concluded that my friend is the reason for all the weird Google suggestions, ever since she searched “how to lose weight while eating cake for breakfast”. Saddest Google ever.

  71. Okay, a couple of things:

    1. I don’t watch Dr. Who, but those people almost make me want to.
    2. If they aren’t drunk, I totally want to hang with them.
    3. If they are drunk, I totally want to hang with them drunk.

    Happy Holidays, All!

  73. You know, you have to book early for end-of-the-world Fridays. I’m sure he was caller number 11 with his reservation so was bumped to Saturday.

    Mmmmm, cheesecake.

  75. For the Whovians among us, may I suggest Dining With The Doctor? It’s a hilarious cookbook, snark-fest, and love letter to all things Doctor Who. You too can learn to make authentic Victorian cocktails while chasing werewolves, or make cute tiny Cybermen heads out of strawberries. Preferably after the Victorican cocktail because that sucker is nasty-sounding…..

  78. If the world ends tomorrow all the Christmases are null, so in the spirit of that I’m going to eat a whole cheesecake today. Besides, I’ve eaten so much this holiday season that one more cheesecake really won’t make a difference.

  79. I keep forgetting about this whole “end of the world” thing. Hmph.

    In any case, Happy Christmas whether it be today, tomorrow, the 25th, or the 27th.

  82. Dang…Melissa beat me too it but Rooster Cogburn does look like he’s wearing thigh high brown boots….dare we say ‘leather’ ones? Was he dressed up as RuPaul of the West?

  86. I really think you should Photoshop a Santa hat on Rooster Coburn and make that your Christmas card.

  88. Not really related, but I’m in the middle of watching some movie I randomly picked on Netflix called ‘The Decoy Bride’ and it turns out it stars David Tennant, so I’m hooked. (Keep waiting for him to pull out a sonic screwdriver.)

  89. Rooster Cogburn is amazing! Every holiday celebration needs a longhorn bull to ride.

  92. I love you and your awesome family and any time you can be together is awesome. So…….. drunk yeah at 2pm on a Thursday.

  94. I like your dad’s Mayan calendar better than the one everyone else on the internet seems to be referring to these days. See, Saturdays are my cheat days, and I won’t get any pizza if the world ends tomorrow.

  96. My in-laws have a ranch in Paint Rock. (which you can’t even say without Texaning it all up) I’ll have to alert them of this fabulous event.

  99. We’re having a Merry December 27th with my inlaws, but for the boring reason that my Mother in law has to work on the 25th, since it turns out that chickens don’t stop laying eggs even after the world has ended. I have to work on the 27th though since I’m a contractor with no vacation days… so it’ll only be a somewhat-merry-december-27th for me.

    Merry December 27th to all and to all a fabulous apocalypse!

  100. December 27th is my birthday!!! I’m gonna be 22… We get to open presents together. Jesus and I ALMOST share a birthday, which makes me slightly more important than other people. Because it’s Jesus.

  102. “possibly drunkenly”? If they’re sober in that clip, I’ll eat my fez. Then again, you can never be sure with time traveling hipsters.

  103. Hey, I’m all for later Christmas. I won’t have money until the 28th, so that’s when everyone is getting presents from me. Except my college friends, who will be getting them even later.
    So, I’m still late for Merry December 27th, but who’s going to turn down love and free stuff, regardless of the day?

  104. Dear Jenny,

    You are the reason the world will not be ending tomorrow. Thank you for that and Merry Christmas whenever it happens for you (in case you were wondering, we had our fake Christmas/Festivus on Dec. 15 because we make our own rules, holmes).

    Much love and happiness to you in the New Year!

  105. This is a thing that is true: I like cheesecake, but I like ice cream even more.

    Ice cream, unfortunately, doesn’t like me. It causes a small degree of cognitive dysfunction, i.e., it makes me drunk.

    Guess who’s eating a carton when she gets home tonight?

  106. Sitting here trying to figure out how long it will take me to get to Paint Rock from Austin.

  107. Merry Christmas the 27th! May you have a wonderful New Year and continue to share your “self”. We love you, Jenny!

  109. I love the posts when you have to end them with, “This is all true.” Definately know that I will have to reread a couple of sentences just to double check the amazingness of your life!

    Love ya!

  110. That’s it. I am totally looking for a physician named “Dr. Hu.” Awesome. 🙂

  111. Well we can all assume, at least, that when Saturday rolls around that the Doctor probably had something to do with the world not ending.

  113. Och, away with you, Santa Claus is definitely a period costume. No? Also, bizarrely, my 5 year-old just created some food art called The Magic Stone of December about 30 mins ago.

    This coincidence with your post about Mayan stones has rocked my belief system, which had left me safe in the knowledge that fears of Mayan apocalypse are illogical, irrational, and baseless.

    I am now going to the supermarket to stock up on bottled water, tinned food, and work out how to steal a car to drive children and husband to safety. I cannot drive. I’m not sure where will be safe from aforementioned apocalypse. I am sure I will be fine.

    Oh God (who I have formerly discounted as a shared delusion created to ease the fear of death and lack of control brought about while hunter-gatherers transitioned to an agrarian lifestyle, dependent on seasons and crop blights), help us, the end is nigh.

  114. And this, this is why we would follow you anywhere. As long as you were atop Rooster Cogburn, I’d follow your charge into the Mayan Apocalypse.

    Also, we in my family are having New Christmas on the 27th, too. Only it’s because I got married and my new husband called dibs while I was sleeping.

  116. Dec 27 is my birthday, so I approve this change. 🙂 We’re in the middle of putting our house back together after major renovations, and my fiance’s family is coming on the 28th for our wedding on the 31st. Not to mention the whole ‘Christmas’ thing happening next week. Too much to do, not enough time… I’m kind of okay if the world ends tomorrow!

  118. I saw my first, and hopefully last, Mayan apocalypse commercial. Jello did one where a group stacked Snack-Paks atop a Mayan pyramid ruin in an attempt to stave of their impending doom. Is that was commercialism had come to? Lame.

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

  120. Lactose intolerance is NOT a ban to cheesecake consumption! Don’t they sell Lactaid pills in Texas? I’m weeping for you, Jenny, seriously.

  121. Dang girl! And I thought MY family was crazy! Well…they ARE…but that’s another story. Makes me wanna send you a whole lactose free cheesecake and a fork. Happy December 27th! Happy Dr. Who! Happy Cheesecake and Happy Mayan End of the World Bullshit! 😉

  122. ‘Also, I know that the Doctor is not actually named “Doctor Who” but he won’t tell me his real name …’

    Well, in his defense, there’s only one reason he would ever tell anyone his name. There’s only one time he could.

  123. I love the Doctor but now I have a confused. I already lust after Obama,Handsome Joe, and BO. Now I have to add the doctor and I just don’t know when I am going to fit him in..Choices. But they are all mine, mine, mine. My precious(es).

  124. Jenny, I want to thank you for “being there” (via blog) this year. I have had a rough year with my depression, and just knowing that you deal with the same issues and still manage to have a happy life with your family gives me hope. Your book was a blessing – besides being funny, it made me feel less alone in how I think – (I told my 28-year-old daughter to read it to get a glimpse at how her mother’s mind works). I’ve gone most of my life thinking I am surely the only one who thinks this way, or feels this way, or is so f***ed up due to childhood trauma issues. I’m seeing a therapist and we’re starting to deal with the real horrors, so of course my depression is getting much worse lately simply due to those things rising to the top. Your posting yesterday about how we can feel we aren’t even worth getting help really struck a nerve – and I will truly try to remember that Depression Lies – and I am NOT worthless. Anyway, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and lots of blessings – because your blog and book have really been a blessing to me this year.

  125. There was so much to love in this post. But I have to say I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t call “the toilet,” “the crapper.” Or “The Deuce’s watering hole.” Or “Bertha’s shiny-and-functional lounge seat featuring flushing device.” Something with pizazz, is what I’m saying.

  126. Ok, here it is! I don’t even know you personally and I say you and I hop the first flight to England, find these three, and spend the next few hours singing as many Christmas carols that we can with them!!!

  128. Also, December 21st is my birthday. So the world better not explode or anything.

    Although in some ways my current world is ending. I just finished school forever. My entire life, I’ve only ever done school. I only took one summer off of school (willingly) in my entire life, even. (Summer school was actually a lesser evil than our grandparents, I guess) So now that I’ve finished my last finals, lost 10lbs from stress (not good, I was healthy before I lost that) and actually started hallucinating from the stress, I’m going to now try to join the workforce and make a living for myself!

    So my world of school is ending, and a new world of working is beginning. And since my last official day of the semester is on the 22nd (although I’m already done with finals) that means that it’s pretty much happening on ALMOST my birthday, which is the 2st/supposedly the end of the world.

  129. Omg now I want a longhorn and I’ll be drinking it up on the 27th so merry new Christmas to you!

  130. Dr. Who AND the Mayan Calendar. Makes my head happy. But I won’t get that earworm out of my head forever.

  131. Your family is wonderful! I love the time traveler costume but even better SANTA!!
    Enjoy your time together.

    And google always seems good for a laugh or two with its autocorrects 🙂

  133. Best dialogue ever. Don’t know how you two come up with this shit, but it’s fuckingfantastic!
    “Are you implying that my dad is using fake Mayan lies to avoid me during the holidays? That’s absurd!” and Victor was all “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING.”

  134. The hubs and I just got separated and so we’re not doing anything special because I always handled Christmas and I’m like “screw this.” so what I’m saying is just let me know if you want taxidermy or scrap iron for your animals and I’ll come over and be your fambly. I think I’m nuts enough. Definitely accepting of nuts. All kinds.

  135. Seriously your family is a hoot and a total riot. Thanks for sharing and I too love Google searches, especially trying to get into the minds of those who these searches, lol!!

  139. the only thing that would make that better would be if Matt were in his bow tie! Thanks, I needed that today!

  141. Personally I’m torn between bringing in the end of the world with tequila and some friends in town, or lying on my bed and waiting for death like the old couple in Titanic

  142. It makes me so happy to read this. I also adore your parents. Merry December 27th! If we survive beyond tomorrow, which I hope we do because now I want cheesecake and I don’t feel like going out now to get some so it’ll just have ot wait until tomorrow if we don’t all die first.

  143. Love your mom referring to solstice holes. That just never comes up with my mom…maybe that’s what’s missing from our relationship.

    Merry Christmas to you and your Mayan calendar loving family! 🙂

  144. December 27th is my aunt’s birthday, and she is a saint, so you should celebrate her–Nikki’s Aunt Mikki.

  145. Had a kind of rough day and this post totally made me laugh which I needed. Thanks to you and the Mayans or your dad’s imagination. Parse out credit however you like.

  146. Drunk. Definitely drunk.

    P.S. Dr Who Christmas Special airs here on Boxing Day. So excited!

  148. The 27th is my birthday. Often overlooked during the holiday season. So happy you will be celebrating it for me.

  150. I don’t get the Google people at all. They are totally into Firefly, but act like they’ve never heard of Doctor Who. It’s an embarassment to geekdom.

    I’m glad you’re not upset about not seeing your family on Christmas Day. I think my family is celebrating Merry Aw Hell There’ll Be Another One Next Year.

    Whatever.

  151. Hi Jenny,

    Brain dump:

    Happy December 27!

    I’m so sorry about Dan. Been there – it sucks.

    My students and I raised $80 for Project Night Night – I am very proud of those kids.

    Keep being brave – the world needs more you.

  154. If I looked like your dad I would be tempted to dress as Santa, too. And yes, the classy old-fashioned European Santa, not the overly cute American version who needs more exercise and fewer cookies.

  155. Yeah, I’m with Victor on this one. It’d be more believable if your dad had said, “Let’s do Christmas on the 20th.”

    But I have noticed Dads in general have excuses females don’t seem to follow. Or, maybe that’s just my dad…

  156. Girl I just started reading your book and I now fully understand a bit more about your parents. And this seems superty logical to me (by your Dad’s standards, that is).

  157. I’ll be celebrating on the 27th as well and as that is when my sailor husband gets off the boat. Assuming the world doesn’t end of course.

  158. you guys look awesome in your period clothes. wait. that just sounds wrong. “your period clothes.” like they’re all red or something? anyway. you know what i mean. but, your dad? santa? what gives? what period? that is just downright funny. were all the other reenactors all, “dude – there’s santa”?

  159. That’s okay, the Doctor will tell you his real name tomorrow.

    And then the universe will end, probably because of that whole “question which must never be answered” deal.

    SO I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.

  161. i bet you never thought anyone would be envious of your life. guess what?!? you are awesome 🙂

  162. Jenny, I love your family! My family is bat shit crazy, but you kinda make us look semi-normal, bat shit crazy but semi-normal. Thanks for that!! Seriously though, our kids will be opening a vast majority of their gifts on Happy December 27th too since they get boatloads of crap they don’t need and we aren’t going to take it all with us to open at my parents’ house. 🙂

  163. Thank you ( and your parents) for the much needed laugh this week.
    I just got my 2013 Bloggess Calendar, and it’s awesome !

  164. 1.) I love that there is a bull named Rooster Cogburn somewhere in the world.
    2.) If said world ends tomorrow, I would like you to know that I appreciate the laughs.And the thoughts. But mostly the laughs.
    3.) Also if said world ends tomorrow, thanks to everyone else here. You made me laugh, and roll my eyes, and cry. Hugs all around!
    4.) The world is not going to end tomorrow, but I like to cover all my bases. Also, it just needed to be said. XO

  165. Your father is the skinniest Santa I’ve ever seen.

    Seriously, it’s like someone found the Texan version of LA Fitness. Which – I guess – could get called TX Fitness. Anyways. The moral? Santa is fat. Needs a gym. Stop leaving out cookies.

  166. Multi-talented Doctor indeed. And many happy returns, whatever day you celebrate with your parents. Even if your dad is channeling the ancient Mayans and avoiding you!

  170. Merry Christmas and Day after the Day that the world didn’t end. I am glad you won’t be spending it on the toilet. I would love to find out what happens when all the “holes” line up.

  172. I can’t believe I missed you that weekend. 🙁 Maybe next year.

    Could anyone have taken a ride on the longhorn? That would be an awesome pic!

    Happy Holidays my dear. 🙂

  173. As the 27th is my 14th wedding anniversary, I welcome you to the celebrating of RigdonMas. There are no presents, but the food is fucking delicious.

  174. Thank you for being every flavour of awesome. You make me smile on an almost daily basis. So thank you for being bonkers and looking at everything that happens to you in an utterly wonky way.
    I am sending you three big fat hugs, one for this week and the other two you can use at your discretion. If you need more let me know I have loads to spare.

  175. Happy Holidays… and you, and your family, are awesome. Thank you for your warm and generous heart, and your more-twisted-than-mine sense of humor.

  180. I always have to dress as a time traveler, too, because my glasses are not period.

    Rooster Cogburn is the best name for a bull EVER.

    Merry 27th of December! Arizona still appears to be here, so the world hasn’t ended yet.

  181. When I first looked at the picture, I thought Rooster Cogburn was wearing high heels. This did not surprise me given the blog he was appearing in, but I was disappointed when I realized he wasn’t.

  182. That video made my week!!! SO much love for the Doctor! Thank you for sharing it 🙂
    Although, being actors, they don’t need to be drunk to be that silly 🙂 We just like to be silly!

  183. Woman, I would trade you birth families in a hot second. Mine are insane, but in an aggressive way, rather than a just-go-with-it way.

    Happy Christmahanukawnzakah27th!

  186. It’s amazing what comes up under Google search.

    I went to an old west festival once, and had a picture of me sitting on the back of a merled bull. What it failed to capture was that moments before the picture was taken (while I was sitting on it), the bull decided to relieve itself of it’s last meal through the back end. If there had been a bull race, I’m sure we would have won.

  188. That is the biggest cow (bull…?) I have ever seen! And I even live in Texas too! At least your dad is a period appropriate Santa. I <3 your family!

  190. OMG I love your outfit. Looks all steampunkesque and awesome..

    Though it reminded me that I wanted to be a steampunk vampire this year and I couldn’t because Halloween was cancelled!

    And I was stuck in Florida because I was in DIsney World on Vacation, but I live in NY and there was a hurricane. In NY, not Florida where there SHOULD be hurricanes.

    After 4 days of being trapped in Disney World (seriously), planes started to go again ON Halloween. I would have dressed up, but my costume was all laid out nicely back home! I was really disappointed that no one on my flight dressed up. And that there was no candy. When we all finally got home there was no electricity and my costume looked all sad. I dressed up the next day and took pictures because I didn’t want the costume to feel sad and useless. It wasn’t the same…

  191. Thank you for sharing the lovely Doctor Who caroling, it made my day.
    Here’s something in return:

    For cat lovers – and Gioachino Rossini lovers – everywhere, this is one of the better renditions of Duetto buffo di due gatti (Humorous Duet for Two Cats), which was likely written not by Rossini but by Robert Lucas de Pearsall and based on Rossini’s 1816 opera Otello.

  194. December 27 is the third day of Christmas. Your parents owe you three French hens.

    Thanks for the Doctor Who carol!

  195. I can’t help it… Every time I read “period clothes” I think of oversized, super comfy sweatpants. The kind you wear when you’re bloated and too tired and uncomfortable for real pants.

  196. Woah, woah, woah. Karen Gillan can SING. I mean, yes, she was trying her best to sing very, very badly, but holy cow. Girlfriend has PIPES.

  199. Sometimes I wonder if your stories are… exaggerated. And then you pull out the pictures…

  200. In my house, if my wife or I look at each other and say “I love that woman”, the other immediately understands, finds the nearest internet-enabled device and visits this website.

    True story. Unless the one speaking was late to the party, in which the other person says something along the lines of “Oh wow, I know, right!?!”.

    Also a true story.

  201. OMG I’m lactose impatient too! Maybe I’m a little more excited then I should be about this fact but I’ve just comeback from the company holiday party where I had a drinkie poo or two. Or four. I told my husband three. I think he knows better though. But still. I suffer for cheese and if I had believed in the Mayan apocalypse I totally would have downed a cheesecake with you. But I don’t and so I didn’t which is good because it’s tomorrow and we’re still here.

  202. I totally want your family to adopt me. Happy world didn’t end almost Christmas to you and yours!

  203. http://www.neatorama.com/2012/12/19/Terrifying-Vampire-Rat-Taxidermy/

    This has nothing to do with anything (except that he does look rather christmassy with his color scheme and all), but I squeed when I saw him and couldn’t think of anyone who would be able to appreciate my squee quite as much as you might.

    Please ask Victor not to hunt me down and kill me with his bare hands for sending you a link to a taxidermied rat on Etsy.

    Happy Vampire Rat-mas!

  204. I’m kinda dissappointed that there was no appocalypse. There was so much hype. My son kept coming home from school with all kinds of crazy rumors. There will probably have to be a new mental disorder developing from all of this. What could we name it?

    I’m happy you found your smile. Have a happy Christmas!

  205. I love the fact that when you tell a story about your family, you have to say “This is totally true” and then back it up with photographic evidence. You ROCK. And Merry Whatever Day It Is.

  209. As far as I’m concerned, the 27th IS the best day to celebrate, as it is my 31st Birthday! Will raise a glass to the Lawson Gang 🙂

  211. As someone who is currently traveling in Guatemala, I can honestly say that even the Mayans don’t seem to know when their calendar ends. Just this afternoon I was invited to an “End of The Mayan Calendar Extravaganza” taking place in one of the nearby villages for only 100 quetzales.

    Fortunately, when I told him I couldn’t make it, he offered to have it postponed it until Saturday.

  212. The picture of you on the steer reminds me of Top Secret. Remember that 80’s gem with Val Kilmer, the French Resistance during WWII and a cow in rubber boots?

  214. December 27th is my birthday so I appreciate you celebrating your holiday on my birthday instead of Jesus’s birthday. Ps number 209 Nicole it is also my 31st birthday so I think since we have the same name and birthday and Jen is celebrating her holiday on our day that we rename is nicolemas? Just an idea…

  216. Matt Smith is hilarious! We had Chrustmas early at the Shalottlilly household. It was our second Christmas in our house…and our first with the Danger baby. I like doing things a little unconventionally. Your holiday is yours 😉 it belongs to you and your family what ever day you have it on.

  217. hilarious post! funny thing, i was just watching the doctor who video… my 10, 8, and 4 year olds were drawn to the sound. my 4 year old hid her stuffed unicorn in her bag and said “my unicorn is scared” it was hilarious. have a happy christmastime!

  218. Ya almost got me with “I’m the one on top.” Good one still trying to pull the bull over our eyes…heh ?

  220. The kids and I were just reading your blog and I found out that my 8 yo Seth is a Doctor Who fan. And Miranda informed me that the night I woke up at midnight and found him secretly watching something on Netflix on my Kindle he was watching Doctor Who. Hilarious! P.S. I love your family!

  221. I’ll join those hoping for a Chinese DrWho next incarnation, partly for the inevitable Hu’s on first jokes!

  224. Happy December 27th to you and your family, Jenny! I have loved having you (virtually, that is) on my journey this year and cannnot WAIT to see what 2013 brings for us both (since the world didn’t end and all). I have a feeling that yours will bring significantly more opportunities to dress up than mine will, but that’s ok, because I enjoy those moments vicariously 🙂

    Oh, and I have to be careful not to read your book or blog while I’m eating. I can’t even tell you how many times I had laugh until I choked on my breakfast or lunch before I figured that one out! No really, it’s embarrassing how many times it happened. 🙂

    You have brightened some of my darkest days and for that, I truly thank you. 🙂

  225. Dying laughing because I started the video and my 8-year-old daughter (who was supposed to be in the shower) came running down the stairs…”What WAS THAT?!” I think she thought I stepped on her cat.
    She laughed SO hard when she read that you wrote, “It’s amazing” below the video link.

    If I wrote you what happened at my family Christmas you wouldn’t even believe it, seriously – the timing of my arrival at the event (which I drove around an hour trying to decide if I should attend) could not have been scripted more perfectly.

    Happy 27th of December!
    May the lying bastard leave you alone in the New Year….depression – not your dad:)

  228. Just saw this on aol and totaly thought of you…..http://www.engadget.com/2012/12/24/tardis-ar-greg-kumparak/?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl7%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D249809.

    From the article……….
    “It’s bigger on the inside!” Greg Kumparak, a former writer of sister site TechCrunch, initially built nothing more than just a convincing model of the iconic blue police box (with a functioning light at the top) by hand, but soon afterwards he wanted to somehow give it an interior as well.

    By utilizing the Blender 3D creation suite (which was a first for Kumparak), Unity 3D engine and Qualcomm’s Vuforia AR SDK, the result is an Android app that renders the 3D interior atop the random wave-like pattern — visible once the door’s removed — on the TARDIS in real time (no pun intended). Once you’ve seen the demo video after the break, you’d probably agree that Kumparak’s only one sonic screwdriver away from becoming an honorary Time Lord. For more detail on how and why this project was put together, head over to Kumparak’s blog post.

  229. Damn Im so jealous of you and I cant pin it down to one really good reason.

    For now Im going to say it the fact your family has the clothing to dress in peroid apparel and is willing to do so.

    Crap, No. The fact you are riding a long horn all nonchalant cause you do cool shit like that all the time.

    My jealousy boner just keeps growing.

  233. Can I just tell you how much I love you? I’ve been reading chapters of your book out loud to my husband (who is actually *enjoying* it -(and the man doesn’t read) but to find out you’re a Whovian? I bow at your altar, my lady.

  234. I know you haveno time to read this but still awesome. My mom is on a month long cruise in south america, making me thrilled that I had less to entertain. I hate the work involved in the season yet find myself sucked in to the cool stuff.

  236. I would have been worried that if the long-horned bull were friendly and turned around to say Hello, he might accidentally gouge me with one of his horns. If he were un-friendly or just moved his head about a lot, I don’t think my reflexes would be fast enough to keep me from being ka-bob’d. But I couldn’t pass up that photo-op either!

  238. Your mention of time travel bull riding and out of place santa suits makes me think you would like the book Murder with Peacocks. And the ensuing series of murders with various birdlife. I’ll just say this about it, Cousin Horace pretends that any family even is a costume party so he can wear his gorilla suit.

  239. Frreaeking out a little in a good way because December 27th is my and my bf’s anniversary. Thank you for celebrating my anniversary for me. I hope you went to the zoo.

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Instagram makes suggested reels based on old content and I assume most people have beautiful vacation photos or wedding compilations, but this is what they suggested for me.
Sitting in ihop after graduation and “who’s gonna drive you home” comes over the sound system and now I’m lightly weeping into my pancakes but I’M FINE.
Remember last week when Hailey graduated from kindergarten?
Last high school dance.

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Game Night Kit: All-in-one classic card game kits make the perfect gift, but you’ll want them for yourself, too! Lets skip book club tonight, drink wine & play games instead ~time together is magic!

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Coolest American Stories 2023: If you want a book of unputdownable, unpretentious, full-length short stories, we got ya covered. Our 2022 volume went to a 3rd printing; readers are singing this volume’s praises, too.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Perfectionist Anonymous: Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression and hilarity on the side.

Active Voice Productions  made a cool little movie with a role they wanted The Bloggess for but instead got Bonnie Hunt. Seriously. That’s what happened.

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

The Second: Colleen Burns Durda’s candid memoir about a suburban mom with a side hustle-she’s The Second Coming. Laugh, cry and learn how she copes with her bipolar diagnosis.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: Just read it. Trust me.

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