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144 thoughts on “Shit I found on my phone”
Read comments below or add one.
Pong porn? That’s a new one. Must google it later…
I couldn’t live in a world filled with those kind of statues. I’d blink.
Now I’ll be wondering all day about pong porn…
Am I the first comment? Awesome. I work in a library, and we don’t keep our erotica or our ping pong books under lock and key. I guess we’re just sexually freer up here in Canada.
Your phone holds much better random photos than mine does.
The cat isn’t wearing a weave. He just scalped an afghan hound, and that’s his trophy.
Rule 34. Just saying.
Obviously, someone read the “P” in the last word in the book title in the second picture as a “D.”
This just goes to show how important it is to maintain a regular grooming schedule for long-haired cats.
Damn… #4… I’ll be first one of these days 🙂
I love the table tennis book’s name. Puns ftw!
Maybe ‘Pong’ is a euphemism? Or something? I am incredibly unhip with the kids these days. Not that it’s any different from when I was a kid myself.
I just found you (I must be the last person in the universe). So funny! I have shit too- one of the places is on my phone.
I hear certain strippers can do obscene things with pingpong balls. Perhaps the store owner experienced that during his last visit to the local club?
Maybe it’s naked pong?
Random photos are the best. My husband always finds weird things in stores and is all, “Take a picture of this!” Makes for excellent blog fodder, er, subjects when I can’t think of anything to write.
If I wasn’t on Panera’s wifi I would so be googling pong porn. Anything is more interesting than research for a paper on How Colridge and Wordsworth epitomize the Romantic age.
Perhaps someone saw the book and thought “There is no way someone wrote and entire book on the history of table tennis. This must be a fake cover, like that book about Aqua Squirrels. But more whorey.”
What a great share to kick off the weekend. Happy Friday to you!
Pong porn is a hugely underrepresented subculture. You should read the fan favorite “Fifty Shades of Pong”
Well before today I could have honestly said I have never seen a cat in a weave. Life changed.
Ok, I hate to say this… but you know what some extremely talented women can do with ping pong balls, right?
What were you doing in the erotica section, Jenny?
I am afraid to go through my phone for pictures, and I certainly could not share them with anyone. Also, what is the “Chester” book. I can only think of Chester the Molester and that scares me… and intrigues me.
I misspelled my own alias!
If you think about it, table tennis is a lot like sex. Balls flying everywhere (and sometimes hitting you in the face when you least expect it), some paddling, and often there are expletives shouted.
I get where you’re coming from, bookstore.
The cat picture is exactly how I pictured a weave on a cat!
That is one confused looking cat! “What happened to my seersucker suit, man? I didn’t order mohair!”
Gotta say, I kinda want a copy of “The Big Book of Porn” just because the title amuses me.
Weave’s for cats? I see a new business venture in your future.
I love random crappy mobile uploads. They’re the bomb diggity. For example.
Ping pong erotica love it. Where do the paddles go?
That looks like something I’d do to my cat if I had a weave handy.
I wonder how many people actually ask for erotica assistance
This isn’t a real comment.
I might have to get a weave.
Statue comment made me giggle, I was totally thinking the same thing. You know the one on the right is the one on the lefts annoying little brother or something or maybe two important political figures….I really have no idea
The more you know…the less you fear the uncertain? 😛
Also chances of you seeing a scary picture and getting scared is reduced? 😀
In regards to pong porn – Rule 34.
I’m not nearly as concerned about the misplaced (or not) pong book, as I am about how SMALL the “Big Book of Porn” really is! Utterly disappointed! (and calling the book store to take the hold off of the “Big Book of Porn” and off to search for a BIGGER book of porn! HA!)
This is what a cat looks like in a weave….right before he murders you in your sleep.
love the things you share!
Love it all 😉
Rule 34 of the Internet: If it exists, there is porn of it. Pong porn now exists because it is on the internet. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
If i recall, ping pong balls… oh whatever.
I love going throw my phone and finding all the random pictures I tool because I thought something was funny! I think your kitty needs to be groomed 😉
OMG Cat in a weave. Awesome.
I think the size of the gun is telling us that he is overcompensating for something…
I have a “gift” for being able to open up ANY book to the naughtiest part. I would like to exchange gift for just about anything else.
Is that statue picture from the Cenotaph in front of the Alamo?
Do you think the stone guns work? GREAT!
A whole new Blink nightmare. armed statues.
Also, that weave is the wrong color for that cat. She need a colorist consultation or she will end up look like she belongs on a Maury explaining why her 3rd son’s penis actually used to belong to an alien.
Pretty sure that if you put your erotica under lock and key the only people buying it are those into S&M and shaming. That might explain the ping pong book, but I’m not sure how. I must not be the target audience…
Don’t blink might also apply to the cat. They move almost as fast as weeping angels and can do a lot more damage than sending you back in time, especially when made to wear fake hair. Real hair they’re much more tolerant of, go figure.
‘Pong’ is a deeply sexual word. Don’t ask me why. 🙂
Thank you so much for “Cat in A Weave” – it turned my day around. Now, if you could just show “Cat Weaving,” which would instill some small hope that possibly one day, far in the future, there could be gainful feline employment.
I really need to do a better job of taking random pictures with my phone. My phone pics are boring.
Your pics are far more interesting than the ones in my phone, that might or might not include hot wheel cars and little 7 yo fingers.
They have a bunch of superhero comics in the Erotica section too? I… I think maybe you ought to have pulled the store’s manager aside for “The Talk,” Jenny.
Thank you for the laugh!
I was wondering what a cat looked in weave. Thanks for clearing that up.
Yeah, I find pictures like this on my phone from time to time. The other thing I find are pictures of my daughter’s games that she saves on my iPad. I think it’s just part of being a mom; you’re always going to find weird things you can’t explain.
That is almost like my favorite used bookstore. Except they don’t as far as I know, have an erotica section. But they do have a bunch of conveniently miss-stacked books
Maybe the person who put the Pong book in there is remembering Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Weave cat promises to cut a ho.
I love this idea. I’ll have to empty my phone pictures into my blog about once a month now.
…or maybe they get kinky with their own ping pong paddles, thus making it certainly erotica!
Rule 34. But you already know that from previous comments! Dang!
If you had to ask for assistance to get the books of erotica here, I would never have bought that first one, or spent so much time browsing a local bookshop and being amused by the low quality of porn texts. Oh well, prude US, make sure you have to be very sure to buy that porn.
I wonder what kind of assistance is provided with erotica?! Is it very hands on? 😉
I’m with Eddie – Priscilla, Queen of the Desert!
For those that don’t know it Chester 5000 is a rather fabby steam punk-ish story about a man who makes the perfect sex toy for his wife (it does housework as well as foreplay) http://jessfink.com/Chester5000XYV/
Please ask for assistance. Heh,heh,heh.
Rule 34 just encompasses so much…Pong Porn included.
*mentally imagines what Pong Porn would entail*
I always learn so much from you. Thank you.
I hope the Pong book is just a conveniently sized censor for a really gratuitous cover on another book.
Statues coming to life may not be as bad as you think. Most of them would be stoned. Others would be well-marbled or bronzed. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to run into a live Chicago Picasso sculpture! http://www.panoramio.com/photo/67349732
My question would be if you already had these captions in mind when you took the shots….the captions are definitely what pulls it all together…just love the cat weave…think I need something like that!
The cat looks seriously pissed! Don’t fall asleep when he/she’s in the room!
I feel so informed. And enlightened. Cat weave is just another way of saying hairy pussy, no? Harrier? And, um, STOP IT FINGERS, WE WILL NOT GOOGLE PONG PORN, PORN WITH PONG, GETTING PONGED ,PONG IT ON UP NOW, PONG ME, PONG WITH A BONG, HE HAS KING KONG PING PONG BALLS WHILST ON THE GUHMENT COMPUTER *sits on hands*
*gets excited while hands are underbutt, thinking of mmmmmm pong*
*the guhment probably read this comment*
*Fuck sequestration, I’ma get fired*
*Now I’m REALLY gonna get fired*
Well, we do not want kids learning about ping-pong.
This post had everything: violence, kinky sex, and sexy hairy cats.
I have read the chester book. It is quite a ….good read. ahem.
The history of pong, not so much.
I thought they were telling a person named Erotica to ask for assistance.
I know you get a bajillion comments but I just wanted to let you know that your website always makes me laugh even on the crappiest day. I have anxiety and depression issues too and you are my heroine for being so brave and funny. Have a great weekend.
I miss working at a bookstore. Best times ever.
Why isn’t “The Big Book of Porn”… bigger?
I’m pretty sure that if you search the web you will eventually find something involving sex with ping pong balls or whatever, and cats with hair extensions. You know, to make them look more Persian. Or Angora. Or Schapendoesy.
The History of Table Tennis in the Erotica Section is classic! Not to mention that it’s embarrassing enough to be purchasing such a book but then to have to fetch someone to open the glass door of naughty? Too much!
Cheryl Nicholl, clearly I am the last person to find her blog….and thank god I did is awesome!
This post made my day
why can’t any of the handsome roman statues come to life when you blink?
I just saw another Friday Photo Dump. Yours kicked that one’s ass.
That’s why I live for thrift store shopping! I usually arrange some items in an inappropriate pose and leave it there for someone to take a picture. It’s my random acts of kindness-you’re welcome.
Now that I see how great the cat looks in a weave I’m considering one for myself.
That weave looks a lot better than some I’ve seen…
Uh oh… my cat saw the cat with a weave and now he totally wants one too.
Whose weave is that? I’d imagine someone at the bookstore thinks they’re hilarious. And they are.
There are those videos of ladies shooting ping pong balls out of their vagina’s…..
Woot, I work at a Half Price Books (though not that one). Also, Jenny-for what it’s worth I’ve never seen your book come through our store. A lot of people ask for it but there are usually only a couple available in the entire (now nationwide) company. People just aren’t willing to sell your book!
And for the love of all that is good, people, PLEASE don’t accuse HPB of ripping you off when you sell to them. Here’s a cover-my-ass statement: I don’t speak for the company nor do my views represent them in any way. But seriously, I guarantee you that when I say that I see that book frequently I mean I literally had three other people sell it back earlier today.
Also, from the Amazon description of the Pong Book: “*Please note: some images contained in this book are of an adult nature.” So yeah, Rule 34 all the way. Sexy, sexy table tennis…
Apparently I need to learn a lot more about Pong.
Not saying kitty don’t look good, but I think s/he might be better as a brunette.
I totally recognize the statues in the top picture. That’s part of a larger piece outside the Alamo. 🙂
What would I do without you, Jenny?
*sigh* what did we do before camera phones?
Could you imagine if you blinked near one of those dudes?
That is possibly the first picture of a weave that makes me want to buy one.
Your phone could make one hysterical picture book of nonsence. I like that.
Not nonsence. Damn typos.
wait. where exactly is the bookstore with A LOCKED CABINET??? i am totally going!!!
Do you think the statues were standed like that when they were carved, or did they just get tired of standing next to each other for years on end and now they fight about everything???
And maybe PONG is code for something only die-hard Erotica fans know. Things that make you go….WTF?
The Big Book of Porn is disappointingly small. Book Viagra needed?? 😉
Since I can’t figure out where on your site to submit this link, and I know you love Tim Minchin, I thought I’d attach this for you here (no, it has nothing to do with your phone pics) – enjoy!
The book on the right might have been placed there by someone with a paddle fetish. Just a guess. And the statues are thin enough to go where fully dimensional statues can’t.
I used to have an awesome book on my desk when I was a graduate teaching assistant in Classical Civilization. It was a giant red coffeetable-sized book entitled THE BOOK OF PAIN. I used it as a paperweight for students’ tests, figuring that no one would dare pick it up. Ah, good times, good times.
Oh, you’re a genius. I have so many photos in my phone that I refuse to erase because someone somewhere will appreciate their hilarity. Now I have something to do with them. You’re a genius of your time and an inspiration! 😉
Random comment: Did you know AMC has a reality show about taxidermy????
The inclusion of ping pong in the cabinet is less funny than the sign. Erotica you need assistance with? Sounds like a clunkily worded escort ad!
Already starting to worry about my withdrawal symptoms while you are on the road for the Book Tour! Hope you will keep blogging even while you are gone!!
Reminds me of Priscilla Queen of the Desert where the Asian wife demonstrates the muscularity of her vagina by launching ping pong balls into a rowdy crowd with it.
Another seriously scary aspects of statues coming to life is all the headless, armless, demonic, biblical and nothing-but-a-torso-y statues that will run (crawl, jump, fly etc) about… definitely be part of the apocalypse I think. We should all get sledgehammers.
I am also wandering about them offering to assist with erotica, what kind of store is that?
I’m a little concerned about this bookstore’s porn being locked up. Because who the hell wants to ask a salesperson “Excuse me, I’d like to have a closer look at some of your fine pornography…and do you have anything about ear sex fetishes?”
No thanks. I’ll google that shit in the privacy of my own home where no one can judge me
The things that can be done atop a ping pong table are numerous. And naughty. I, for one, am glad that the Powers That Be have decided to finally take action and show ping pong for what it truly is: A gateway drug to a nefarious world. Thank you book store owner.
I once laughed aloud in the bookstore when I noticed that “Erotica” was next to “Self-help”
Naked ping pong ?? How is that scored?? Oh wait, I just answered my own question.
I’m never going to be able to get that statue idea out of my head.
They misspelled DONG. I *do* know a lot about dong…
Don’t tell my mom, okay?
Hm, am I the only one who thought it was funny that the bookcase says, “Please ask for assistance erotica”? I’m imagining all the erotica books that involve submissives asking to be tied up, virgins asking more experienced people to educate them. The title that leaps to mind is, “Can You Give Me a Hand?” (The “Job” is understood.)
Seriously, that cat needs a lawyer….
How is it you’re “non-posts” always do better than my official posts?
What I found funny about the erotica shelf is that it tells you to ask for assistance! I guess no one likes to see someone having fun all by themselves!
Nice to see that cat get some blog-time. She used to somehow photo-bomb you regularly, but now it’s all HST all the time, with some bones thrown to Ferris now and again. Note I can’t even remember her name!
The “Big Book of Porn” is startlingly small.
Where on earth is that bookstore? Only two of those books could possibly be considered as erotica. Powers and Preacher are possibly for adults, but not all adult fiction is erotica!
You have much more random photos than me. The cat looks like it is about to attack its weave.
Erotica under lock??? ::Sigh:: Only in the US.
Now that’s what we call a zany selection of photos! Most of the time, I find myself randomly downloading photos off Facebook pages that qualify to be called funny (George Takei’s page and 9GAG are some of my favorite) and then leaving them there for weeks at a time, never to look at them again. And your cat with the weave – priceless! Thanks for the laugh!
Oh god… Pong porn. I don’t think I can keep up with these new sexual fads…
Yo, I have a $150 metal chicken in my front yard because of you. But if you intend to stay my hero, I need some color up on them there walls. You’re too dynamic for “taupe.”
Nice Dr Who reference there 🙂
When I was at school it was a joke that you sometimes had to write an essay on the sex life of a ping-pong for detention – could be that!
I think the cat just read mine…
I love it when HPB makes it into funny pictures! 😛 I know why that book table tennis book is in there; someone bought one as a gift for their kid only to find it had people playing it NAKED OMG SCANDALTIMES.
I hate having the erotica in a locked case. It’s awkward for the customer and it’s awkward for the cashier who has to stand right next to the case while the customer browses.
1. all the powers books on the left are NOT porn. they are serious crime comics with an occaisional wild sex scene but I’ve got to get that chester book now! thanks for educating your readers! 🙂
and naked ping pong sounds like it would hurt
Maybe the book is really entitled “Everything You Know is Dong” instead of “Pong” but it’s a typo, so it was given to the book store obviously in need of good erotica materials.
I can’t see the author’s name, but I’m telling myself it’s Long Duk Dong from “Sixteen Candles.”
Love the cat in a weave! Maybe the bookshop owner just saw the paddles on the cover and jumped to the wrong conclusion!
THANK YOU! I commented on this earlier talking about how I work at Half Price. I was trying to put some stuff on a shelf in the sports section that was too full yesterday and noticed the same Pong book on the shelf. I proudly took it to my manager and informed her that it needed to go in the art case, showed why, and had room to take care of the stack of books I had. Who knew your blog could be *this* educational??